Disclaimer: The rights to Golden Sun or any of it's characters do not belong to me, because I sold them! end joke But seriously.
Where the Quest Takes Us 2
One day, in the secluded dwarven village of Loho, a spiky blonde-haired man was sitting in a beach chair on top of a house, soaking in the sun. That is, he would be, if it wasn't currently raining outside.
"Ahhhhh..." sighed the man.
"Why are you lying around in the rain, you fool?" asked a nearby dwarf.
"Rain? What rain? Is it raining?"
"Uh yeah..." said the dwarf.
"Oh. Cool." replied the blonde man.
"You're such an idiot." the dwarf said under his breath as he headed back inside.
"YOU'RE JUST LUCKY IT ISN'T TWO MONTHS AGO, OR YOU'D BE IMPALED ON A RANDOM SHARP OBJECT!"
"Why? What was two months ago?" asked a nearby dwarf.
"Oh, you people are STUPID! I already told you: It was when some weird ass dude was making me turn psychotic whenever someone looked at me the wrong way."
"Oh yeah... Now I remember."
"Good for you. Now go fetch me some cheese. I grow tired of this giant cracker on which I have been chewing."
"Uh, Isaac, that's not a cracker, that's a pair of pants." said the dwarf, holding back a laugh.
"What? WHO REPLACED MY CRACKER WITH PANTS?" Isaac screamed.
"You never had a cracker you dolt!" the dwarf answered, smacking Isaac in the back of the head.
"Hey! You can't smack me! I'm your god!" Isaac protested.
"How can you be anyone's god if no one worships you? 'Cause I know for a fact that, not only does everyone here NOT worship you, but half the town wishes you were dead. Furthermore..."
"Bite it, short stop!" Isaac said. "AND BRING ME SOME GODDAMN CHEESE!"
"Yes, milord..." the dwarf bowed, and walked inside.
"Bunch of ingrates... I shall SMITE THEM ALL!" Isaac laughed to himself, standing up from his soaked beach chair. "No, to go and find something to do." whilst taking a quick scan of the area, Isaac noticed that, just beyond the town's gate, there was an ominous cloaked figure heading towards the town.
"Here's your cheese, Isaac." said a dwarf, who had just appeared through the door holding a large wheel of cheese.
"Ah, excellent." said Isaac taking a large bite of the cheese wheel. "Now, go and find out who that ominous cloaked figure is and ask him why he's here."
"Yes, milord." the dwarf said respectfully, bowing as he left the rooftop.
Sometime later, Isaac had fallen asleep in his beach chair after eating his large wheel of cheese. The same dwarf that Isaac had sent to check on the cloaked figure was now standing beside him, poking Isaac with a stick. In the face.
"MMpphhhh..." Isaac mumbled, not waking up.
"Man, this dude can sleep." remarked the dwarf. "Maybe I should just go..."
"YOU GO NOWHERE!" Isaac yelled, suddenly wide awake.
"Wow. That was weird." said the dwarf.
"Did you find out who that ominous cloaked figure was, Oswin?" Isaac asked.
"My name is Craig."
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR NAME!" Isaac yelled. "I will not tolerate such insolence! YOU WILL DIE BY THOSE WORDS!"
"Sure I will. Anyway, the ominous cloaked figure wouldn't tell me his name, but he asked to see you. He's waiting at the tavern." explained Craig.
"I refuse to go and meet him... Unless... Do they still have those kickass curly fries?" Isaac asked.
"As far as I know." replied Craig, shrugging his shoulders.
"Than I am off to the tavern!" Isaac proclaimed, standing up. And with a mighty leap, he was in the air, plummeting towards the street.
"Fool." mumbled Craig as he walked back inside.
Isaac arrived at the tavern a number of minutes later, covered in dirt from his fall. Once inside, he immediately headed for the counter. "Hey, barkeep! Gimme some kickass curly fries and some milk!"
"Who drinks milk in a bar?" asked a rough looking man next to Isaac.
"Did I say milk? I meant HARD LIQUOR!" Isaac said. "Just... Forget the drink. I only got enough cash to pay for the kickass fries anyway."
"Go ahead and get something to drink. It's on me." said an ominous cloaked figure who had walked up behind Isaac.
"Hey, it's you! You're the dude who wanted to see me, right?" Isaac asked the man.
"Yes, and here I find you debating on whether or not to have milk with your kickass fries." replied the cloaked person.
"Why does everyone keep calling them kickass fries?"a nearby bar goer wondered aloud.
"Anyway, if you've got your fries, let's go somewhere quiet so I can explain why I'm here." suggested the cloaked guy.
"OH MY GOD!" Isaac wailed. "These fries effing RULE!"
"Oh, lord..." said the man, pulling Isaac outside by his cape thingy.
"MMMMM! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! These are so GOOD!" Isaac screamed, whilst eating his fries.
"Are you done?" asked the man, whose face was covered by his dark cloak.
"Yeah, fine. Why are you here?" Isaac asked.
"I am here representing WUSSCASE." replied the man.
"What is that, besides the FUNNIEST NAME EVER! HI-O!" Isaac laughed at his own joke.
"Oh... You idiot... WUSSCASE stands for Weyard's Unseeable Secret Service for the Covert Acquisition of Sagacity and Evidence. It's the spy service you joined NOT TWO MONTHS AGO." explained the man.
"Oh yeahhhh..." Isaac realised.
"Anyway, my name is Dr. Pepper." said the man.
"DUDE! YOU INVENTED DR. PEPPER? THAT DRINK IS THE BOMB!" Isaac proclaimed.
"No no... My NAME is Dr. Pepper. It's merely a coincidence."
"Oh."
"Anyway, I came to inform you that WUSSCASE requires the services of both you and your former accomplice Ivan." Pepper explained.
"Ivan? I haven't heard from Ivan for months. I'm assuming he's dead." Isaac said.
"Oh, he's far from dead. We've been keeping an eye on him since he left for the Apojii Islands." Pepper said.
"Oh. So, does that mean I get a free trip to Apojii to go get him?" Isaac asked hopefully.
"No, another agent is getting him right now. We are to meet them at WUSSCASE's secret headquarters as soon as possible."
"And when is that?" Isaac asked. "Do I have time to take a whiz before we leave?"
"Ugh...Yes." said Pepper, shaking his head.
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Mr. Jupiter: YO. 'Tis sequel time y'all! That's all I have to say, accept enjoy!