DISCLAIMER: The author won't be held responsible for any readers who need therapy after reading this. She would also like to make it clear that she didn't come up with the Broadswords or Drunken Night scenes. HONEST. Amy and Sarah came up with that filth.
Lómadia
The Tenth Member - When Tolkien found his histories, he was missing quite a lot
of text. Mostly concerning the tenth member of the fellowship. This was Elrond's
daughter, Lómadia who entered the fellowship in disguise. Luckily, her diary has
been found, and now we can piece together her part in the War of the Ring.
ENTRY ONE
Life here is so boring.
Granted, all very pretty, but it can't compare to some of the places I've been.
Not to mention that that bitch Arwen keeps stealing my sword. If I've told her
once I've told her a million times; she has her own, I'm the one who needs it.
Besides, she's the one with the hero king of men boyfriend.
Not that I'm denying he's good looking. In a greasy, unwashed kinda way...
ENTRY TWO
Well, that's a surprise. Arwen buggers off just to go try and find lover boy.
And a few of those pint sized halflings from the Shire he seems to be so keen
on. Like she accepts that he has a thing for them.. And it's so obvious.
ENTRY FOUR
Well, she's finally decided to turn up. With one of those teeny things in tow.
Honestly. She is so incompetent. Meant to be the Evenstar of her people, and she
can't even cure a little cut from a Nazgul blade.
He's this little, black haired thing... Kinda sweet really. Scary eyes though.
Very scary..
Later that entry
Little Frodo's friends turned up. Along with that no good ranger. Damn those
Nazgul. Can't even kill him. Thought that they were meant to be at least a
little considerate.
ENTRY FIVE
I'm a little concerned for that hobbit's welfare. To be honest, I don't think it
was necessary for him to have his wound sucked better. Or other places that that
scary little fat hobbit was paying so much attention to.
The twin hobbits seem to be a bit more detatched from him. Although they did use
him waking up as an excuse to have a big hug party out on the balcony.
Gandalf was giving Dad grief again about him planning to bugger off over the
sea.
To be honest, if it gets me away from Arwen and her thieving habits, I'm
going with him. Pronto.
ENTRY SIX
You know, she actually took my bow! My bow! Honestly. I'm 1203 years old and she
treats me like I'm 120. Like it was just a toy. Well, I still have my double
swords. Thinking of giving those to Frodo to defend himself against his obsessed
companion. Honestly, I do wonder whether he even knows sometimes.
Doubt it. She was actually playing with the bow. Not that she had any strength
whatsoever to use it. She kept telling me that it must be impossible to fire
things when the string is so tight.
I didn't even bother to explain.
ENTRY SEVEN
Dad's calling a council. Again. Every one from middle earth has to send a
representative. Oooh, wonder who Thranduil will send. Hope it's that hot one.
Granted, he does a LOT of nancing about, but still, he really is quite good
looking.
ENTRY EIGHT
Go me, go me, go me...
Thranduil did send the hot one. Ogling him is kind of hard though. I can only
pretend to stand looking pretty on a balcony and getting a sly look for so
long...
Later
Oh bugger... What have I done?