Like a Snork Out Of Water
By Ryan Rinkerman
Written 5/13/2005-5/16/2005
Allstar and Dimmy walked out of their school. "Finally! The weekend's here!" Dimmy exclaimed. "I was so bored!"
"Well, I thought biology class was exciting! Those looked like some really weird creatures!"
Junior walked over to the two. "You two talking about yourselves?"
Allstar rolled his eyes. "No, Junior. Look at this picture in my biology book!"
Junior looked at the illustration. It looked a bit like an abstract painting of a Snork. "Ecch! What is that thing?"
"It's called a human!" Allstar told him. "They live on land, and they're very much like us!"
Junior raised an eyebrow. "Looks like some creature you'd see in a cartoon."
"We're learning about them in biology!" Dimmy explained. "About time, too! I've wanted to learn more about them since I was a boy!"
"They're really interesting!" Allstar continued. "Look at this! Their snorks are right in the middle of their faces!"
"And check this out!" Dimmy pointed at the creature's hand. "They have FIVE fingers!"
"Why would you need five fingers?" Junior asked. "Four should be enough for anybody! And look at their eyes! They're so tiny! How can they see anything? And if they live on land, how do they breathe water?"
"They can't, Junior!" Allstar responded. "They can only breathe air!"
Junior scowled. "Maybe that's just an excuse for why you never see them! I'm starting to think those things aren't real!"
Allstar sighed. "Junior, we Snorks have known about humans for over 350 years!"
"Please! Humans are probably just mythical beings some ancient Snork created for fairy tales! And I'm going on land to prove it!"
"I'll go, too!" Dimmy exclaimed. "I've always wanted to see one!" The two swam off to begin their land adventure.
Allstar sighed. "I hope they know what they're getting into…"
An hour later, far far away…Dimmy and Junior had been swimming for a very long time. They knew they were getting close to land; the water was becoming very shallow. They stopped at two large pillars.
"What are those?" Junior asked.
"Looks like a giant pair of legs!" Dimmy said excitedly. "Could it be…"
Just then, a shadow loomed over them. The pair looked up to see a huge, five-fingered hand reaching for them. They both screamed and frantically tried to swim away. After he had safely swam out of harm's way, Dimmy breathed a sigh of relief. "Safe! We're too smart for him, aren't we, Junior?"
"AAAAAAAH!" Dimmy heard a high-pitched scream. He looked back to see Junior, clutched in the hand.
"Sufferin' seashells! Junior's being Snork-napped! I gotta get help!" Dimmy turned and swam back towards Snork Land as fast as he could.
Meanwhile, Junior felt himself being lifted out of the water, and he could tell the atmosphere had changed. He looked across from him to see a huge face, with a mess of red hair on top of it. Junior realized what it was. "They really DO exist!" he thought to himself. "Why didn't Dimmy tell me they were GIANTS?"
"Whoa! Look at this!" the human said to himself. "This is such a weird water bug! It's only got one antenna!"
"ANTENNA!" Junior shouted. "This beautiful thing is not an antenna, thank you very much!"
"It's making some weird noises! Well, I'll look at you later!" The human dropped Junior into a red plastic bucket. Junior landed hard on his stomach.
"OW!" That's no way to treat a Snork!" Junior looked up. The human was a teenaged boy. He was heavyset, and wore a red and blue striped shirt and green swimming trunks. Junior watched as the kid walked away. Junior looked around. "I've gotta get outta here!" He tried to climb up the smooth walls, but he couldn't. He banged on the walls, screaming. "HELP! HELP!" Frustrated and out of breath, Junior sat down. "It's no use! I'm stuck here!" he said dejectedly.
The human returned and peered down at Junior. Suddenly, a small stick started coming towards Junior. "I wonder how hard its shell is!" the human said. He started poking Junior's back with the stick.
"Ow! Hey! Cut that out! This is a 300 clam suit you're poking, mister!"
The human laughed evilly as Junior tried to get away from the stick. "This thing is perfect! I needed something for my science project!"
Junior gulped. "Science project? I can't end up in some lab!"
"I can't let anyone else find this thing!" The kid took his shirt off and covered the bucket with it. "Now, no one will steal my bug while I surf!" He ran off.
Junior was enveloped in darkness. "Things always have to happen to me, don't they?" he grumbled. "All the humans out there, and I have to be found by the one who wants to use me as a science project!"
Back in Snork Land…Dimmy swam back to town as fast as he could. He saw Corky walking down the street, and swam up to him. "What's the rush, Dimmy?" Corky asked him. "I thought I'd have to give you a speeding ticket!"
"Junior and I went beyond the limits, and a human grabbed him! We have to save him!"
"A rescue mission! This looks like a job for…the Snork Patrol! We may need some extra help!"
Outside the city limits…Corky and Dimmy were inside Corky's sub, stopping at a makeshift house. Jo-Jo was outside, napping in a chair.
Corky got out and swam up to his friend. "Jo-Jo!"
Jo-Jo woke with a start. "Is something wrong?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.
"Junior's in serious trouble!" Corky shouted. "We have to rescue him, or else he could get killed!"
"I never liked Junior, anyway." He closed his eyes again.
"If he gets killed, the governor will kill us!" Corky exclaimed.
Jo-Jo got up quickly. "You have a point!" He swam into the sub, and the sub took off.
At the beach…Corky drove the sub onto the beach, and the trio got out. They looked around. It was full of humans; sunbathing, surfing, and walking. Beyond the beach was a row of huge buildings; much too big for Snorks, but the perfect size for humans. This was obviously where some of the humans lived. "Wow!" Dimmy exclaimed. "Look at all of them! They're so majestic!"
"Not to interrupt your dream come true, Dimmy, but we have a Snork to find!" Corky said. "Now where could he be?"
Dimmy started calling Junior's name. "Junior! Where are ya?"
Inside the bucket, pacing nervously, Junior thought he heard his friend. "That sounded like Dimmy! I've never been so happy to hear his voice! Actually, I've never been happy to hear it before…" He started banging on the walls of the bucket. "I'M OVER HERE!"
"Did you hear that, fellas?" Dimmy asked. "I heard Junior!"
"I did, too!" Jo-Jo said. "But where is he?"
"I'M IN THIS RED THING!" Junior screamed.
The three ran over to the bucket. "Junior!" Dimmy shouted to the bucket. "Is that you?"
"No, it's Bruce Snorksteen. OF COURSE IT'S ME, DIMWIT! Get me out before that human comes back!"
"How are we going to get him out of there?" Dimmy asked.
"I know!" Corky said. "What's the one thing that Jo-Jo has that we don't?"
"Skin that isn't orange?"
"Besides that."
"An extra snork?"
"Besides that."
"A dress made of seaweed?"
"The strength to punch through this thing!" Corky exclaimed.
"Oh, that too!"
Jo-Jo brought his fist back. "1…2…"
Suddenly, they saw the kid walking back to the bucket. The three circled the bucket and hid behind it so the kid wouldn't see them. The kid pulled the shirt off the bucket and peered in. "Good! I still have my bug here! I should-"
"BRIAN!" Another human, a woman with long red hair and a pink tank top, stood in the doorway of one of the houses. "Get in here and eat your dinner!"
"Coming, mom!" He picked up the bucket and walked over to the house. Luckily, he didn't notice the three Snorks behind the bucket.
"Well, at least we know the Snork-napper's name." Dimmy remarked.
"We have to go after him!" Corky shouted. They ran across the beach, trying to avoid the people walking across it.
Inside the house…Brian walked in through the back door, and into the living room, setting the bucket on the coffee table. He called out to his mother, "I found something to bring in for my science project!"
"Finally!" His mom sounded exasperated. "I thought you'd never find anything!"
"I found this weird water bug! Dissecting it should be really cool!"
"DISSECTING?" A wave of fear came over Junior.
Brian walked into the kitchen, ready for his dinner. "Oh boy! Fried fish!"
Junior panicked even more. "Oh no! I'm not the first one they've killed! Those guys better get me out of here!"
Outside…Dimmy, Corky, and Jo-Jo had finally made it to the back door of the house. Dimmy fell over, panting. "Finally! We're here!"
Jo-Jo nodded. "That is good, but…how will we get in?" They looked at the huge house. "Not even my strength can break through this door!"
"How can we get in there?" Corky wondered.
"I know!" Dimmy exclaimed. "We could swim up to those windows!"
Corky sighed. "This is land, Dimmy! You can't swim on land!"
"Hmm. Maybe that's why I fell over every time I tried to swim to the house."
"We could distract one of those humans, then!" Jo-Jo suggested.
"That's a good idea!" Corky said. "But how?"
"I got it!" Dimmy excitedly said. "Let's flamenco dance in front of the door!"
"Dimmy?" Corky asked. "Can you please stop helping?"
"Let's look around!" Jo-Jo said. "There must be something we can use!"
The three walked to the side of the house to see what they could find. Dimmy noticed a huge machine. It was blue, kind of boxy, and rested on four rubber wheels. It was also emblazoned with odd words; what the heck did "Oldsmobile" and "Custom Cruiser" mean, anyway? Dimmy read the blue plate attached to the machine. " New Jersey? Wonder what happened to the old one…"
"Look over there!" Jo-Jo pointed to a small garden by the side of the house. Instead of the seaweed and kelp the Snorks were used to seeing, they saw odd pink and red things, sitting on long green stems. A long, green thing was to the left of the garden. "That looks like some sort of garden!"
"Of course we found a garden!" Dimmy said. "That plate did say this place was the Garden State! But what is that?" Dimmy asked, pointing at the hose. "Some sort of eel?"
"Looks more like a steam pipe." Corky said. "This could be the perfect distraction! If we turn that knob, it might cause enough steam to get one of them to run out here, and we can run through the door! But it looks too tough to turn!"
"Not for me!" Jo-Jo exclaimed. He ran over and leapt on to the hose. He gripped it as tightly as he could, trying his hardest not to slip. Jo-Jo shimmied up the hose, grunting as he went up. It was very difficult; the hose gave him almost nothing to grip. After much effort, he made it to the top. Holding on to the hose with his arms, Jo-Jo used his snorks to grip the knob. He turned the knob, over and over, until water started rushing out of it. Jo-Jo let go as the hose flailed wildly, the soft dirt of the garden breaking his fall.
"WHOA!" Dimmy shouted. "That's not steam!"
Brian looked out the kitchen window to see the hose turned on, spraying water everywhere. "What the heck?" He got up and bolted through the back door, leaving it wide open.
"Now's our chance!" Corky called out to his friends. The three ran back to the door, dashed into the living room and hid underneath the coffee table. They heard the water turn off, and watched as Brian walked in. He shut the door and walked back in the kitchen.
"What was that, Brian?" his mom asked.
"The hose turned on by itself!"
"Hmm. That reminds me, I have to weed the garden. Don't cause any trouble while I'm out there!" she said sternly. "I still remember you putting your little brother's Transformers in the microwave!"
"I was only trying to help them transform!" Brian sarcastically remarked.
"Just be good for once!"
"Are you sure we should be rescuing Junior?" Dimmy asked. "Brian seems a lot like him! If they got to know each other, they could be good friends!"
Corky nodded. "Yes Dimmy, we have to save him. As much as we might not want to…"
As Brian's mom walked out the back door, the Snorks walked out from under the coffee table and surveyed their surroundings. The floor was covered with a lush, tan carpet. The room had wooden walls, with a large TV on the far left. The coffee table sat in the middle of the room, with a recliner close by. A stack of TV Guides were piled on one side of the recliner, and a large plant sat on the other. It had long, green leaves growing from a tan pot. If it weren't for its size, the room could've easily belonged to a Snork.
"I see it!" Dimmy pointed to the bucket on the coffee table. "But how do we get to it?
Corky rubbed his chin. The legs of the table were too thick for Jo-Jo to put his arms around, and they didn't see any other way to climb up.
"I have an idea!" Dimmy exclaimed. "Jo-Jo, get on that chair!"
"Are you sure about this?" Jo-Jo asked inquisitively.
"I know exactly what I'm doing!"
"For once…" Corky thought to himself.
Jo-Jo ran over to the plant. He climbed up the leaves, pulling himself up. He made it into the pot, and walked across the dirt. He jumped onto the armrest of the recliner, and went onto the seat. "I made it to the top!" he called down. "But how am I supposed to get to Junior?"
"Wait right there! Corky, follow me!" Dimmy said to Corky. The two ran over to the stack of magazines and climbed it to the top. "OK, now we have to…hey!" Dimmy looked down at the magazine he was standing on. "Did you know humans call their shellevisions 'TVs'? And that 'Mr. T' guy on the front looks tough. He'd probably be good friends with Jo-Jo…"
"DIMMY!" Corky shouted.
"Oh yeah! We have to jump on this handle until it goes down!" Corky and Dimmy climbed on the handle and started jumping up and down on it. Finally the lever went down, and the foot rest went up. Jo-Jo ran to the foot rest, then leapt off it, landing of the coffee table. He then walked over the bucket and prepared himself. "Here goes nothing…" he said as he pulled his fist back.
SMASH!
Jo-Jo punched a hole in the bucket, and Junior quickly ran out of it. "Thank Neptune!" Junior hugged Jo-Jo. "We gotta get outta here!"
"Sure. Just let go of me!"
Jo-Jo and Junior walked back toward the recliner. Jo-Jo jumped off the coffee table, landing on the soft carpet. Junior jumped off, and landed on the TV's remote control. The television turned on, blaring loudly.
"…other Joe and Cobra figures and equipment sold separately! GO JOE!"
"I think he might have heard that…" Corky remarked.
Brian ran in. "Now what?" He looked down to see the four Snorks on the floor. "How did YOU things get in here?"
Dimmy chimed in. "Well, first we turned on that water pipe thingy-"
"RUN!" Junior shouted.
The four scattered. Brian tried to step on them, but kept missing. Jo-Jo picked up the remote, and hurled it at Brian as hard as he could. It smacked him on the knee.
"OW!" Brian held his knee in pain.
The four ran into the kitchen and hid under the table. "We're safe!" Dimmy smiled. They watched as Brian ran in and grabbed a frying pan. "We're dead!" Dimmy frowned as Brian walked over to the table. He got on his knees.
"Die, bugs!" he snarled as he raised the pan in the air.
The Snorks ran away as the pan came crashing down on the linoleum. They each ran in different directions to confuse Brian. Brian aimed for Dimmy as he sprinted across the floor. Dimmy saw the pan come closer to him, and dove out of its way just in the nick of time. Brian was getting angrier by the minute. He saw Junior by the wall, jumping up and down.
"Nyah, nyah! You can't hit me!"
Brian grunted as he threw the pan. Junior dashed sideways as the pan smacked against the wall with a clang. Brian turned to see the four 'bugs' running for the back door. "HA! I've got you this time!" He threw the pan again, and it slid across the floor. Just then, the door opened, and Brian's mom stood in the doorway, hands on hips and very angry.
"What is going on, Brian?" she screamed. "Why are you throwing my pan around the house?" The Snorks ran past her and out the door.
"I was, uh…trying to get my bug back!"
"With my pan? Oh, for Heaven's sake…"
"Just move!" he pushed past his mom, chasing after the Snorks as they ran down the beach.
"We're almost there!" Corky said happily.
"He's gaining!" Junior shouted, looking over his shoulder.
The four ran to the sub, and Jo-Jo pushed it back into the water. They got in, and drove away at top speed just as Brian approached, huffing and puffing. Brian jumped towards the sub, hoping to grab it in his hands.
"LOOK OUT!" Junior shouted.
Corky turned the steering wheel sharply to the left. Brian landed in the water with a splash, completely missing the sub. He got up, spitting seawater. Brian shook his head and watched in disbelief as the sub sped towards the horizon.
"BRIAN!" he heard his mother call his name. "I want you to explain this mess!"
Brian growled in anger. "Stupid bugs! STUPID SCIENCE PROJECT!" He stormed back into the house, angry he'd been outsmarted by creatures no bigger than his thumb.
Back in Snork Land…As Corky steered the sub back to Snork Land, Junior breathed a huge sigh of relief. "I'd rather fight a Snorkeater than go through that again!" he said emphatically.
"So, still think humans don't exist?" Dimmy leaned against the wall of the sub and smiled.
"I don't think I'll ever forget they do!"
The sub stopped, and the four got out. Junior stretched his arms, feeling the ocean currents rush past him. "Ahh! Never thought I'd be so happy to be in the water!"
Allstar swam up to them. "You're finally back! I was getting worried about you guys! Did you get to see any humans?"
"Yeah, we did!" Dimmy nodded. "There were lots!"
"You did get a close look at them, right?" Allstar asked.
Junior sighed. "Closer than I ever wanted to get…"
FIN
LEGAL STUFF: Freddy Monnickendam created the Snorks, not me (how could I? They were created 13 years before I was even born!). Hanna-Barbera owns the rights to them. Character Brian copyright Ryan Rinkerman, 2005. All other characters copyright Hanna-Barbera and SEPP, 1984-1989.