Kurt pounded on the door of his apartment when he finally managed to get a hand free from all of the boxes in his hands.
"Santana! Open the door!" he yelled after another knock. When he got no response he sighed and pulled out his phone, dialing Rachel's number from his favorites list.
"Rachel, get out of the shower and let me in," he said once she picked up.
"Why don't you just get Santana to? She's home ya know," Rachel said.
"I've been standing out here for five minutes pounding on the door, just come let me in!" he said annoyed.
"Alright, alright." A second later Kurt could hear the shower shutting off in the background and the sound of the curtains being pushed back as Rachel struggled to wrap a towel around herself. He hung up just as the door to the apartment swung open.
"You're lucky I love you," Rachel said sarcastically as she moved out of the way so Kurt could walk in. He dropped the boxes on the couch with a sigh and fell into the love seat. Rachel shut the door and dropped into the chair next to him.
"What's all that?" she asked, pointing to the boxes.
"All of Santana's empty boxes, I went to throw them away but there's no room in the dumpsters. I still don't know where she's gonna keep all her stuff."
"That's for me to worry about, Hummel." Santana yawned from the kitchen.
"Gosh, Santana. Could you at least put a shirt on?" Rachel rolled her eyes. "Kurt might be gay but that doesn't mean it doesn't bother him, or me." Kurt turned around in the chair to see Santana digging in the cabinets for something to eat, wearing only her bra and panties.
"Actually it doesn't bother me at all," Kurt shrugged. He got up and moved to the kitchen to grab something out of the fridge.
"Ugh," Rachel groaned. "You're supposed to agree with me Kurt."
"Sorry," he shrugged again.
"Well, whats the deal for today?" Santana asked, sitting across from Kurt at the table.
"I'm going downtown with Finn for the day," Rachel said.
"Hummel?"
"I don't know, I'll probably just lay around and watch movies or something."
"Well I'm going exploring. Brit's supposed to be landing later too." Santana said, getting up. Kurt nodded and Rachel and Santana went to their rooms to get dressed. One thing Kurt was thankful for was that even the apartment had been in shitty condition when he and Rachel found it, it had more than enough rooms for the two of them and when Santana showed up unexpectedly a few weeks ago, Kurt breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that she and Rachel wouldn't have to share a room.
An hour later Santana waved goodbye and Rachel was getting ready to leaave as settled onto the couch in the living room to watch a movie.
"Okay Kurt, I'm leaving." She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.
"Have fun, tell Finn I said hi." Kurt mumbled, not taking his eyes off the tv.
"You sure you don't wanna come?" She asked for the umpteenth time. Kurt rolled his eyes.
"I'll be fine, Rachel. Go have fun with your boyfriend."
"Okay," she said reluctantly. She could see the little glimmer of jealousy in Kurt's eyes when he said the word 'boyfriend.' "You'll find someone you know, you will." Kurt snorted.
"Goodbye, Rachel! I'll see you at dinner." She breathed a heavy sigh before saying goodbye again and letting herself out. Kurt relaxed against the couch once more and tried to focus on the movie.
He was jealous or Rachel and Santana, sure. Anyone could see that. Neither of them ever tried to rub their relationship in his face though. He really was happy for them both. Britney and Santana were able to maintain their relationship, even though Britney was still attending high school in Ohio. Finn had decided to go to college in New York too so that he and Rachel could still be together even though she was attending NYADA with Kurt. Finn would've been living with them instead of Santana, but when Rachel's dads found out about the idea to share an apartment together they hadn't agreed, so Finn had to settle with living in an apartment a few blocks away by himself until he could find a room mate. It had been a while since Kurt had been in a relationship. The last one he'd been in had ended a few months before he and Rachel moved to New York when he found out that his boyfriend, Adam, had cheated on him. He'd been upset about Adam cheating, yes, but the other part of him had already known things weren't going to work out, not with both of them planning on heading in different directions after graduation. On top of that, the fact that Adam had cheated was only more proof that Kurt didn't deserve the fairy tale ending, or the happily ever after. He didn't deserve someone to love him.
Kurt had, for the most part, given up on love. The idea that someone could love him back for everything that he was, flaws and all, seemed impossible to him. He looked at Rachel and Finn together and how their relationship worked; how simple it was for them to be together, how easy. He saw Britney and Santana together and he noticed how they looked at each other, the way you could just see the love in their eyes when they were together. No one had ever looked at him that way, and he didn't think anyone ever really would. He couldn't see himself falling in love with someone and bringing them home to Burt; he couldn't see himself graduating college and settling down with someone or building a family with them. He couldn't see any of those things happening for him the way he could see it for Finn and Rachel or Britney and Santana. Yeah, it would be nice. But Kurt was tired of chasing after something he could never have.