In the eyes of love
Title: "In the Eyes of Love"
Author: Stephjag aka Steph
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Disclaimer: I do not own the JAG characters; they are the propriety of CBS, Paramount Studios and they belong to Donald P. Bellisario. No copyright infringement intended.
Classification: JAG Story, Romance Harm, and Mac
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: "Lifeline"
Summary: what if The Kiss would have turned out otherwise? What if Harm would have said, or done something more?
Author's note: hey you guys! This is nothing really – I've been watching "Lifeline" for three days now, I can't get enough of this episode and that kiss, though I thought there was something missing so I thought it could have another end, and here is what's been playing in my mind for about two days now. Hope you'll like it! Sorry this is so short. I'm still writing, but I'm having a few difficult days.
Dae, honey, this is for you.☺
Many thanks to AeroGirl and Dae for beta-reading!
Feedback: Please, if you would like to express your enjoyment. If my work does not appeal to you for any reason, I have no problem with that, but please, no need to share that with me.
0031 ZULU
Admiral Chewidden's home
MacLean, Virginia
Harm and Mac were both standing there, facing each other intently. Tiner had just gone back inside the admiral's house. A few moments later they were chuckling, staring at the ground, and then Harm looked up at Mac again and softly said, "We should go back in there."
"I know," Mac replied with a sigh.
"Mac, you'll have someone who'll always love you."
"And you have somebody that loves you," she retorted.
Mac leaned forward to brush Harm's lips with hers. It was a sort of goodbye kiss, but when she drew back Harm didn't let go, and the light kiss that it first was deepened for a real kiss.
The kiss was broken fourteen seconds later, and they just stared at each other, not saying a word. Mac started to push Harm's jacket off her shoulders, while Harm was once again staring at the ground.
Harm, come on, idiot – you love her, otherwise why would have you kissed her like that? That kiss wasn't just a "Goodbye, Mac, I hope that you'll be happy" kiss; no, that was a real kiss. Come on, do something moron, or she'll be married to him next week. You know she loves you, you've seen it in her eyes.
Mac was handing him his jacket back, and said, "We're getting too good at saying goodbyes." Her words shook him out of his thoughts. Harm didn't want her to get out of his life; he didn't want to say goodbye to her. He knew that he would probably be seeing her a few times after she was married to Mic, but he was sure it wouldn't last long before she would completely drift out of his life and he didn't want that to happen.
Harm, why can't you see I don't really care about Mic. The only thing I really need is you. I love you. Please, say something, make a move, and get me out of this entire masquerade. Oh, Harm, if you only knew the way I feel for you, the kiss that we just shared. I can still feel your sweet lips on mine … I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. Now all I hope for is that life will give us another chance so that I might have the possibility to tell you how much I love you. I love you more than life.
Mac looked at him one last time, a sad look shining in her eyes. She was about to reach for the doorknob when she felt Harm's hand squeeze hers softly. "Mac, no, don't do that – don't go back in there," he said, his voice barely audible.
Harm was looking into the depth of her chocolate brown eyes. Slowly he moved his hand up to her shoulder to turn her so that they were now facing each other. Mac's breath caught in her throat when she saw the love in his eyes. He loved her, there was no doubt about that, but she wanted more, she needed something more from him – she needed him to tell her clearly that he loved her. Mac needed to hear the words from him. Then, like he was reading her mind, Harm started, "Mac, don't marry Mic…" He wanted to continue, but he couldn't. The words were stuck in his throat.
"Why, Harm? Why don't you want me to marry him?" Mac asked him sharply.
The sharp way she had asked him the questions took him by surprise, and he felt hurt. Harm felt stupid and looked down at the ground.
Mac's voice spoke again: "Do you want me not to marry him because you are afraid to lose me? Because you're scared that you won't be able to see me again after I'm married to Mic? Harm, I'm not a toy, and I'm sick of playing games. I'm not getting any younger, you know. I love you, but I can't, and I won't wait forever for you!"
Mac's voice had risen a little and she felt tears rolling down her cheeks. She had walked away from the door and from Harm; she felt more tears coming up and closed her eyes, hoping to stop them. Harm looked up at her, and saw that she was standing where she had first left her purse when she'd come outside.
He slowly walked over to her, reaching out, and softly rested his hands on her shoulders. "Mac… Sarah…" he began. Hearing Harm calling her by her given name made Mac's heart miss a beat. "Look at me," he told her.
Mac shook her head negatively. "No," she whispered.
"Please, Mac, look at me," Harm asked pleadingly.
Harm slowly took Mac by the shoulders and turned her so that she was now facing him, but she didn't look at him. He slipped his right index finger under her chin and slowly lifted her face so that she would look at him – look into his wonderful icy-blue eyes. Their eyes were locked now, but Harm didn't remove his index-finger from under her chin, a soft smile finding his way to his lips.
"Mac, can't you see? Can't you see that you mean the world to me? I'm lost without you. I'm sorry I've made so many mistakes, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me, I'm sorry I didn't tell you how much you meant to me before, but I couldn't, I was afraid and I was trying to deny what I feel for you, but today… all these memories made me realize that I love you more than my own life and when I look into your eyes, I'm looking in the eyes of love, Mac. I'm in love with you. I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I will love you for the rest of my life…"
Fresh tears were now rolling down Mac's cheeks. Harm was staring at her, suddenly afraid he'd really gone too far this time. He was about to open his mouth to apologize, but Mac leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. She drew back to look into his eyes and whispered, "I love you, sailor, and right now, I'm looking into the eyes of love." She was smiling.
Mac pressed her lips against his again, and a few seconds later Harm was seeking the permission to deepen the kiss. Mac moaned in response and let herself drown in the kiss… It was like she was drowning in him. Mac knew then that she wouldn't marry Mic. She would never marry any other man than Harm…
---- THE END ----
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