Disclaimer: Bleach ain't mine so don't sue me got it??? Good... enjoy:)

This is my first time writing a Bleach fanfic so please don't flame me!!! No seriously...please don't... I'm begging you... ok? Ok thanx... so... get to readin'

CHAPTER 1: THE BEGINNING OF THE TALE

My name is Toushiro Hitsugaya and I am the 10th Captain of the thirteen court guard. Normally I wouldn't bore myself with writing down all of my run-ins with fate and her little pessimistic cronies. However, there is an exception to this story. You may not believe it or even comprehend what I am about to share with you. I don't blame you. It truly is an incredible story, not one that is easily digested as truthful.

My story begins in the lower part of the Karakura Town. We were on a mission to slay a somewhat nasty Hollow. Normally we would have been done and over with slaying this Hollow, but for some reason this particular Hollow was becoming a struggle the longer we faced it.

"Captain Hitsugaya watch out!" Rangiku Matsumoto cried out.

Captain Hitsugaya ran quickly to the left to avoid the long and somewhat disfigured arm of the Hollow as it came crashing down where Toushiro had been standing merely moments ago. Toushiro gripped his right arm and felt warm blood where the Hollow had made contact. It hadn't completely missed on that last assault.

"Dammit… that really hurt…" Toushiro grunted as his right arm shot up painfully.

Rangiku looked on as her Captain faced down the Hollow single- handed and, to be honest, it did not look like things were going in the vertically challenged Captain's favor.

Ahem. Rangiku if you are quite through with trying to narrate for me…

Sorry Captain… Don't be such a stick in the mud…

Anyway… back to the story…

"Stand back Rangiku I am going to release my Bankai!" The Captain shouted to his lieutenant as he drew his zanpakuto from its sheath.

Rangiku ran as fast as she could until she had given Captain Hitsugaya a wide enough birth to release his ice-type zanpakuto, Hyourinmaru.

"Rain over the frosted heavens, Hyourinmaru!" Toushiro Hitsugaya shouted as his Bankai released itself.

Behind Toushiro, a large and powerful dragon of ice, loomed over thedwarfed midget know as Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya!

Dammit Rangiku what did I just say about trying to narrate for me!?

Oh now he is pouting… you look so adorable when you throw a fit... hey I know what will cheer you up!!!

Rangiku leave your top on!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Poor guy passed out…… oh well tehe.

Toushiro Hitsugaya released his mighty zanpakuto and covered the surrounding houses in ice. With a single swing of his mighty Hyourinmaru the Hollow was split in two and vanished after a few seconds.

"Hey what's all the loud exploding and whooshing sounds," Ichigo Kurosaki shouted from the street down below.

And that my friend is where the first chapter ends!

…oh my head… what happened… Rangiku!!! How dare you flash your Captain like that!!! I should have you confined to your room for this insubordination!!! By the way… have you finished your paperwork for the day? Rangiku? I knew that would get her to go away…

Gunsmith: So NejiTenLuva... I have a question...

NejiTenLuva: What's the friggin' question before I even THINK of answering...(besides I know you too well to just answer anyway)

GS: So just exactly why do you hate Orehime anyway... I mean you like went BALLISTIC earlier at the mention of her rack... I mean name...

NTL: Because! For christ's sake she's ANNOYING beyond belief! She's fricken irritating and only gets attention from the animators and the writer because they get to draw and animate her chest! Jesus, her only popularity comes from the male side. ._.

GS: Actually I am pretty sure it is the male front side to be more specific...

GS: Anyway... moving on from that hate crime in progress... whats new?

NTL: Uhh...well we are starting a cosplay show.

GS: Yeah but remember we can't do any IchiRuki...

NTL: Uh, duh. Seriously, I ain't no incest supporter here. *grosses out*

GS: Uhhh... that is so gross... moving on now... By the way how do you feel about dressing up in a bikini for a Rangiku skit?

NTL: Um, when you figure out how to inflate my boobs to the size of basketballs, maybe there'd be a 1/100 chance. xD But remember, you said you'd be Rangiku?

GS: Oh yeah... gross visual thanx.. anyway I think we are done here...