"Just Be" by tophrocker
Hello everyone! I've recently read the series After School Nightmare by Setona Mizushiro and it's pretty much my favorite series currently. I adore it! I wrote this poem because I wanted to write a poem about it, because the series has really affected me a lot. It begins with Sou, and then goes to Kureha, then finally Mashiro. Let me know what you think. (I don't own After School Nightmare, obviously)
Sou
What is man?
What is woman?
What is child?
What is adult?
What is old age?
What is youth?
Isn't it all in the eye of the beholder?
I see him now, struggling so,
It breaks my heart,
My poor Mashiro
If only he would let me in,
I could let him see his femininity
Instead he lets her in,
Trying to expose his masculinity
Why can't he see it doesn't matter to me?
Sure I want him as a girl,
But I'll take him as he is
I don't care what is thought of me
Love heeds no boundaries
I can have anyone I chose,
But my heart is set on him
Sometimes I question myself,
But in the end,
It all comes back to him
I laugh now,
I call him "him" when I want him to be "her"
He must be so confused, if even I am
He's like a flower, not yet bloomed,
A caterpillar caught in its cocoon,
A child going through puberty,
This is his metamorphosis
These days are critical,
Once he grows his wings,
Sprouts his leaves,
Obtains his voice,
There's no going back
He'll be forever who he becomes
I don't have a problem with him loving Kureha,
Sure I'd rather he be with me,
But why does he deny himself so?
Does he know what love is?
Does he know how it feels?
Do they share love?
Or is it just a desire, wished to be obtained?
An act to fool themselves,
To stay preoccupied?
He says its love,
So I must believe,
But I can't help wishing that he'll still fall for me
Oh, Mashiro, set me free…she's got such a tight grip on me…
Please!
Mashiro, just be…
Kureha
What is man?
What is woman?
What is child?
What is adult?
What is old age?
What is youth?
Isn't it all in the eye of the beholder?
Mashiro, so handsome…
A man of femininity
I'm proud to say he belongs to me
Still, I worry…
He's not a man like others,
He's one of a kind,
A rare treasure,
And he's mine,
But I don't always see love in his eyes
Sometimes I wonder about our love
He's so concerned about his gender
It doesn't matter to me though,
Not any more
I just wished he wouldn't ignore me…
When I look into his reflective eyes,
I don't see me,
I see the clouds above,
Painting the shape of a face of someone else,
A familiar stranger I don't seem to know
He says he loves me
He says I'm cute
We've made fools of ourselves,
He's always looking out for me,
But why can't he just be?
Can't he see he's hurting me?
While I cry in the rain, he hides in his skirt, holding his sword, ready to put up a fight
Why can't he just love?
There's no need to fight
If he could just relax…
Just calm down and stop wondering,
He would see that he will be whoever he truly is,
There wouldn't have to be any decisions,
Fate would take the wheel
Mashiro, just be…
Mashiro
What is man?
What is woman?
What is child?
What is adult?
What is old age?
What is youth?
Isn't it all in the eye of the beholder?
Why am I always so confused?
Why do I have to be so pretty?
Why am I so weak?
Why can't I be strong?
My body doesn't belong.
I struggle along,
Days go by
I hurt everyone,
I'm the "prince of hypocrisy"
Why does he love me?
Why do I hurt her so?
Why can't I choose?
Why did I have to be born this way?
Mother, father, why have you forsaken me?
If I was normal I wouldn't have this battle to fight,
I wouldn't have to draw my sword,
Wouldn't have to wear this skirt…
I want to be strong, a man, for Kureha
I need to protect her
I need to prove myself
I don't want to be criticized for being too nice, too naïve, too weak, too uptight…
I need to be tall and muscular,
Trained with sword,
Ready to defend myself and my princess Kureha
I don't want to have to worry about cramps,
How my hair looks,
If I look fat,
About guys pinching my…
I hate the way they criticize me
I'm not good enough, strong enough, willed enough…
Nurse, I can't live this double life
They say they'll love me anyway…
I just want to be a man like Sempai,
Strong, fearless, reliable
I wouldn't hurt anyone,
They wouldn't cry anymore
I could get Sou off my back,
But still, I don't know what I want…
There's too much pressure hanging on me
Some people don't want to be rescued,
Some get angry at me,
They don't like me worrying
They think I'm selfish
They tell me to "just be…"
Be what?
Myself?
I don't even know who that is…
I'm holding myself back…
I suppose that's my task…to overcome myself and figure out who I am…
What was it they said to do again?
"Mashiro, just be…."
Thanks for reading! :D