I had the strange urge to write so...yeah I DO own the song used here anyway

I don't own South park NOW LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

"Poopsykins time to get up!"Mom shouts from downstairs.I hate when she uses that sugary-sweet tone as if she cares as if anyone cares.

"Alright coming!"I shout back.I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror.I hate what I see.A ugly,fat asshole starring back at me.. I'm trying to loose weight,Kenny's helping me exercise,ya know when he's alive.I do the normal shit I do in the morning brush teeth,piss,ect.I go downstairs only to see a buffet made for five. Right when I'm about to eat Kenny comes rushing in throws an apple at me and eats half the food.I grin and eat the stupid fruit,saved by the poor story of my life. After he eats half my weight in food we walk towards the bus stop in silence. I was hungry but eh I'll eat at lunch god knows Kenny needed it more than I did. See I am an asshole but not as big of one as everyone thinks I'm just a fucked up kid with a fucked up mom in a fucked up town.

Getting to the bus stop we were greeted by the same names we've heard since pre-k.

"Hey fat-ass,hey Kenny."Stan nods.

"where's jew-boy?"I asked trying to sound snotty.

"At school wanted extra study time."Stan confirmed.

That's Kyle for you always studying.I nod at him and get on the bus.

Recess band time!I walk into the music room and am greeted by Craig Tucker,Kevin Stoley,and Kenny. We formed a rock band last year but I haven't tried to get people to hear us yet. Not till we're perfect I'd tell them. Fun fact about us we're all gay. Yep we all like cock.I know I was shocked too. Kevin,our guitarist likes Clyde,Craig,our drummer likes tweek(no surprise there)Kenny our bassist,likes Butters,And I like a certain jew. Any guesses on who?
We play at recess cause everyone's outside so no one hears us except Big Gay Al but only him and Mr. Slave know we play.

"Hey fag you're late."Craig says more as a greeting then anything.

"Sorry was fucking Tweek in the bathroom."I counter with a grin so he knows I'm joking.

"Really that's weird cause me and Kyle were at it the other day."He says with a smirk. We glare at each other for a few seconds then burst out laughing.

"Come on it's time to practice."I say grinning.

unbeknown to us Big Gay Al and had told the class there was a 'super' awesome band in the music room that they needed to see.

"one two three four!"I shout and start singing.

"running around feeling sorry for myself

I fucked up my life and I don't know how

to change the world that you control

I lost it all with no satisfaction

I was mean I know,I know

I hurt your ego,bruised your heart

but don't you think I've tried to change

you wont hear it and I'm afraid

I fucked up my life and I don't know how

to change the world that you control

I lost it all now I'm alone

as you grin and turn away"The guitar solo came on as the door opened I knew it was just Big Gay Al and Mr. Slave cause everyone was outside.

"So now I sit here all alone

at your window no ones home

I am lost and there's no one to save me

so the last time that you saw me

my eyes were closed as I went down

lost and all alone"

I opened my eyes to see twenty pairs of eyes on me.I thought I heard Big Gay Al clapping but I went numb as Kyle looked at me.I felt sick.I didn't have jacket on so he could see the weight I had lost.I couldn't take it.I ran.

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. Music was my was my way of letting go, it was my diary, and deep down the guys knew that, it was our safety net,our stress reducer. 'Why,why,WHY!'I thought as I sat down.
"WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!!"I shout to the sky tears running down my face.I sobbed into me ones even looking for me. I thought of my mom,my friends,Kyle,the people who hate me and cried,cried as I let go of years of pain,of holding everything in.

"Cartman?"A velvety voice asks quietly.I knew that voice,I dream't of that voice.
"What?"I ask not looking up.
"Are you ok?"He asks.I look up and see concern shining in his Green eyes.
"Why do you care?"I ask bitterly.
"I'm your friend."He says in that same soft tone.
I snap."NO WE'RE NOT!FRIENDS DON'T HATE EACH OTHER!FRIENDS DON'T-"I stop after realizing what I was about to say.
"Friends don't what?"Kyle asks.
"Nothing."I he wasn't having any of that.
"No friends don't what Eric?"He demanded.
I sighed"Friends don't...feel like this,like I do."I whisper.
"What do you mean?"He asks confused trying to decode what I was saying.
I might as well tell him he's going to find out anyway."Kyle..I love you."I duck my head down so I don't have to see him.
More tears fall as I hear the crunch of was leaving.I look up and see him crouched down next to me.
"Why are you still here!?To laugh?Fine!Ha-ha the fat-ass has a gay crush on you!"I was in hysterics as I was shouting.
"I don't hate you." Kyle whispers looking at me.
"why?"I had to know even if the answer kills me.
He sighs and runs a hand through his red locks,"Honestly,I don't know,I mean I should but..."He trailed off.I blink.
"But what?"I ask in a whisper.
"But I don't know I just cant...that doesn't make any sense does it?"He asks looking at me. It does,it's how I feel everyday.
"No it makes perfect sense like no mater what I do you'll always come back,like it doesn't matter you'll still be there tomorrow."I say knowing exactly how he feels.
"Yeah!Wait how did you-"I put my lips on his stopping whatever he was going to eyes widened but after a minute fluttered shut as he melted into the kiss.I grabbed him shirt and pulled him as close to me as possible.I part my lips slightly and push my tongue in his mouth,him moaning as I massage his tongue with my we finally part for air and he looks me straight in the eye and says the four words I've always dreamed of hearing.
"I love you Eric."I say them back and and hug him and wish to never let go.