So You Think You Can Date My Daughter?
"I've got a date!"
The four relaxing members of Overwatch in the kitchen expected the words to come from someone predictable, such as Jesse McCree.
But when Lena Oxton blinked in, surprise caught all faces equally unprepared.
Angela Ziegler flinched.
Jack Morrison set down his newspaper.
Ana Amari choked on her tea.
Reinhardt Wilhelm set down his frying pan.
"Who is she?" Jack asked, leaning forward onto the table.
"Her name is Emily." Lena jumped up and down excitedly, accidentally blinking to the side from time to time.
"Have you done a background check on her?" Jack followed up, leaning, if possible, further onto the table.
Lena rolled her eyes. "You don't need to get worried, dad. She's a normal."
"Jack is just watching out for your safety, Lena. I also am a little suspicious of how sudden this development is," Angela said, standing up and walking towards Lena.
"Relax, mom. Dating is a normal part of any daughter's life," Lena joked. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go tell Jesse!"
And with that, she was gone.
Ana Amari, as always, was quick to the point. "This cannot happen. No one is good enough for Lena."
Reinhardt was quick to caution her. "Now, Ana, perhaps we ought to just let this play out? Remember when we chased off that boy flirting with Hana?"
"That kid was a dick," Jack interjected.
"But Hana was the angriest I've ever seen her," countered Reinhardt. "I do not look forward to having her MEKA explode in the training range at me again."
"Lena is too good for any woman," Ana reaffirmed. "Let's at least scope her out. Better to nip the plant while it's young before it grows."
"I concur," Angela replied, settling down into her seat.
"As do I," Jack said, pulling out his laptop.
Reinhardt coughed uncomfortably. "I am still not sure about this."
Resorting to dirty tactics, Ana pleaded, "Reinhardt, what if she's a Talon spy? Lena could be in danger. And if this 'Emily' is, then we have to do all we can to protect out adoptive daughter."
"You all indulge this family thing too much," Jack muttered under his breath.
"It would be the just thing to do," Ana continued.
Light flashed in Reinhardt's eyes. "For justice! Comrades, worry not, I shall discover if she is Talon scum!"
Reinhardt stormed out of the room.
"Now, we need a plan," Ana said. "I believe all of us confronting her separately would lead to the most fruitful results. Divide and conquer, yes?"
Jack chuckled. Angela replied, "Now you're talking."
For Emily, it was just a regular Tuesday. Well, maybe that was a lie. Perhaps there was a spring in her step due to the fact of the cutest girl asking her out for dinner for Thursday.
It wasn't as if Emily had taken great lengths to figure out what time of day, and which days, Lena visited the café at which they met. It wasn't as if Emily was late to work on those days because she stayed too long talking to Lena. It wasn't as if Emily knew Lena's drink preferences and always had a cup waiting for her when she arrived.
No, that would be absurd. Which was why Emily was adamant about Lena never finding out.
But her hopefully soon-to-be-girlfriend prompted her abrupt visit to the grocery store. If Lena came into her apartment, Emily needed to be sure she had food to offer her.
Unless she wanted to eat something else.
The redhead's face turned as red as her hair. Now was not the time for thinking those thoughts.
Yeah, that time is for in your bedroom when you're alone, her mind cackled.
If possible, her face flushed deeper.
In her fluster, she completely missed the fact that she'd entered the store. Emily's systems were on autopilot, and took her right to the microwave dinner isle.
What? She had student debt to pay off. Lena wouldn't mind a microwave meal.
Would she?
Caught up in worry, she ran into a pillar.
Except it wasn't a pillar. It was only the gargantuan man standing in the middle of the isle. You know, the usual.
"Eh?" he uttered, looking down at the woman who measured nearly two feet shorter than him. "My apologies, little lady!"
"It's no trouble. I wasn't looking where I was going," Emily smiled. He seemed like a nice man, but dear god was he tall.
"My name is Reinhardt, and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." He thumped on his chest for some reason.
Perhaps a little odd, Emily giggled inwardly. "The pleasure is mine. I'm Emily."
Reinhardt's face grew shocked, as if hearing a sudden noise. "Indulge an old man, Emily. Do you know a Lena Oxton by any chance?"
"Uh…yeah?"
Reinhardt fistpumped. "Ha! Ana will not believe my luck!" Coughing, and turning deadly serious, he spoke, "Emily…I'm onto you."
"W-what?"
He bent down, so they were eye-level. With one of his massive fingers, "You Talon folk might think you're smart, but Reinhardt is onto you! If you harm Lena…"
The completely unwarranted threat lingered in the air.
Reinhardt's disposition flipped on a dime, and he smiled. "Have a nice day, Emily! I'm sure we'll see each other again!"
And with that, the giant walked out of the store, banging his head on the door frame.
She tried to assimilate with the groceries on the shelves, but it had no effect. The surrounding people stared at her, wondering what the hell had just happened.
Emily wondered that too.
After that…oddity, Emily needed something to calm her nerves. Like a nice cup of tea. And not one of those shitty ones in her apartment.
Something…refined.
And like that, Emily stepped into the café that she and Lena regularly met up at. She placed her order, picked it up, and took a seat.
Just as she went to take a sip, another person sat down opposite her.
For a moment, Emily's heart sped up. Was it Lena?
No. The woman was a blonde, and Emily's face took a heel-face turn from hopeful to confused.
"My name is Angela Ziegler," she said. "I know Lena Oxton."
"You know, you're the second person to say that to me today," Emily idly commented. Beneath her façade of calm, her only thought was, what the hell did I get myself into?
Angela narrowed her eyes. "Lena Oxton is like a daughter to me. I will not have someone unworthy spending time with her."
"Unworthy?" Emily parroted, aghast. "You don't even know me!"
"And you don't even know Lena," countered the older woman. "I know her, and I know that I will not let some nobody lead her on."
Emily growled. "You. Don't. Know. Me. You have no right to judge me!"
Quickly, her angered expression dissolved. "Verdammt. Sorry, I'm not very good at this intimidating stuff."
Emily, caught off guard, floundered, "What?"
"Well, we all see Lena as kind of our daughter," rambled Angela, not seeming to realize she was talking. "Ana suggested I try to scare you off."
"Um…I think you were extremely intimidating," Emily lied, still tilted over what she had said.
"Great!" chirped Angela. "Now, I must be getting back to my work." She stood and began to leave.
The blonde stopped, and turned. "But really, if you hurt Lena in any way, I'll have you know I've turned men into monsters and you would be no challenge to…put down." Angela smiled. "Have a nice day!"
Emily pried her hand off the chair, only realizing she's been clenching it for dear life.
Now that was intimidating.
The redhead shuddered. What kind of day was this?
Emily's hands weren't shaking as she opened up her apartment's door. No, that couldn't be. It wasn't as if she were terrified that Angela would follow her home.
Lena was adorable and made her feel like she was walking on clouds, but if these were her friends…
"Stop it, Em." Her own voice calmed her as she stepped inside. "So she's got some protective friends. I'm sure they just want what's best for her and will calm down once they get to know you."
"Highly unlikely." The gruff voice came from her arm chair.
Emily screamed, dropping her groceries.
"This can go one of two ways. Painless…or not." The white haired man flicked the lamp next to him on. Emily felt as if she'd seen him somewhere before.
"W-what do you want?"
"Hmph, prone to nerves." It sounded like he took a mental note. "What is your occupation?"
"Uh, freelance writer. I'm fresh out of college." Her reply shook as she looked down at the man's lap. A huge rifle lay there, with a hand resting casually on it.
"Don't worry about the gun," he said. "Call me Jack. We'll get out of this mess provided you cooperate."
"I'd love nothing more," Emily said, her voice dry.
Jack launched into a series of questions, ranging from her plans for the future to her favorite cereal (Luci-Ohs, obviously).
"You seem…alright," he grunted. Standing up, he chuckled. "Ana will find you sooner or later. That'll make a good story."
And with that, Jack walked right out without another word.
"How the hell did you get into my apartment?" she shouted at him. But when she turned to look for the man, he was gone.
"Fuck fuck fuck fu—" Riiiiing!
Her phone. A message.
Emily breathed shakily. Lena asked if she wanted to meet for an hour today. Perhaps it had something to do with the strange people meddling with her life?
Scratch that, it absolutely did. Emily shoved the groceries in her freezer and left to go meet Lena for some answers.
Emily had the table she and Lena typically sat at. Her breaths came in pants, and she could not sit still.
Lena better have some answers.
But naturally, it was not the cheerful brunette who sat down across from her.
"Let me guess, you're also here to dissuade me from dating Lena?" she grumbled with malice.
The elderly woman quirked an eyebrow. "Hardly so obtusely…but yes. I'm Ana, and it's nice to meet you Emily."
"Three people have come up to me today and attacked me just because I've talked Lena. Are you going to give me an explanation, or am I better off just walking out of here now?"
Emily found herself quaking with rage. She never got this angry.
"It seems I owe you an apology. Our…friend group is very tight, and we're rather protective of each other. Angela especially, even if she'll deny it and try to cover it up," Ana smiled.
The redhead's breaths began to calm. Ana continued, "I'll have a word with all of them. And I won't try to tell you not to date Lena. If you believe there is a future between you and her, who are we to judge that?"
"Thank you." Emily managed a small smile, relieve to seemingly find the sane one of Lena's friends. "I can understand why they did what they did…but they could use some coaching on how to approach people."
Ana laughed. "Well, in our line of work, we tend to jump to extreme measures."
"What is your line of work?" Emily asked.
The woman blinked. "Lena didn't tell you? We're Overwatch."
Emily's jaw dropped.
"I suppose it's alright to tell you, as you and Lena are seeing each other."
Emily closed her jaw.
"I'll let you get back to your life. Again, sorry for their behavior." Ana stood up, and paused. Leaning down, she muttered, "If you do hurt Lena in any way, then I'll make your life worse than the Omnic Crisis."
And the legendary Ana Amari walked out of the café.
"I heard from my friend Ana that a couple of my friends gave you some trouble," Lena said. Her face was a painted picture of regret and worry. "I…hope that doesn't change things between us."
Emily leaned forward in her chair, and the rest of the restaurant dimmed away from them. "Lena, I still came, didn't I? Sure, your friends can be terrifying and questionable, but they're your friends for a reason. They were just being…protective, and we got off on the wrong foot. And Ana smoothed things over, and I understand now."
Lena shuddered. "They're like parents…hovering and protective parents."
"You can choose your friends, but not your family, right?" Emily smiled. Lena laughed loudly, drawing several glances.
"I'll ease you into introducing you to the rest of Overwatch. They're…a peculiar bunch. I doubt anyone could handle meeting them all at once."
"I appreciate it." Emily's smile grew, and she rested her hand on top of Lena's on the table.
Several tables over, Ana sat alone with an earbud in.
"I think you'll like Jesse though. He's normal, once you get past the cowboy fetish."
"Cowboy fetish?"
"Here, I have a picture of him."
Ana chuckled. Her three coconspirators certainly needed work on their approach to being protective. They meant well, but Ana was a master.
Old habits die hard, she supposed, and went back to listening.
Author Notes: This began as just a purely comedic fic, and it kind of got a bit more serious as I went along. Still, pleased with how it turned out!