Lena was a workaholic. She essentially had to be. When you grow up in a family that hates you, locking yourself in your room tends to be the only solace you can find. Then, as you age, when you're the last name that was forcefully tacked onto your first starts to carry a following, and a negative one at that, staying late in your office working after everyone else has left can be the only thing that keeps you sane. Being a workaholic doesn't tend to create many opportunities to create friends. Lena was friendly all right – she remembered all her employees' names and her secretaries' birthdays and anniversaries, but they all tended to be afraid enough of her anyway that it didn't matter. Her last name never helped her, but she was never really taught how to seem easygoing or likeable. She knew how to work hard and succeed and be nothing like her crazy family. She never really had friends.
Until the day Kara walked into her office to interview her. Kara was something special; she could make anyone want to open up about their lives and share their deepest, darkest secrets, and give apart of themselves to her with just one wave of that dorky smile of hers. Kara was also special because she was one of the only people in Lena's life that believed in her and thought she could be good. For most of Lena's life she was told that she was a disappointment and a mistake and later an evil bitch. But Kara never thought that at all. She met Lena and never once doubted that she was someone who was good and could be something special. It was more than that actually. Kara made Lena feel like she was something special. Kara made her friends see that Lena was something special.
The first time Kara introduced Lena to her group of friends, the first time without police or aliens attacking her involved, Lena almost had a panic attack. Lena was prone to panic attacks but no one else knew that – and she didn't want the first time she could actually make a good first impression on these people to start with a panic attack. She was able to fend it off and the night ended up going really well. She was on Maggie and Alex's team for Charades and Pictionary, and they killed it! If Lena wasn't so socially secluded her whole life, she may have learned that she could draw a representation of jet lag beautifully and in record amount of time. After the first time, Lena was invited back for every game night after and she began to get close to all the people in the group. She and Winn would get together weekly to discuss knew technology they learned about through TED. She went clothes shopping with Alex and gun shopping with Maggie. She even went to a baseball game with James where he taught her to catch peanuts in her mouth. Most importantly, she had lunch with Kara 3 times a week where they would just talk about life and laugh for hours.
Lena had friends for the first time in her life and she was finally at ease in all aspects of her life. Lex and Lillian were in jail. She gave all her employees a raise. Lena was finally happy. Really, truly happy! That's why it was so terrible. So utterly, awfully, terrible. Because she had undeniable feeling for her best friend.
How could this happen? She was finally happy and she was just going to screw it up with having inappropriately timed feelings? No! She had to shut this down. There was no way she was going to screw up the one good thing that was happening in her life because her heart finally decided it was going to work after years of collecting dust. She was just going to shove the feeling away and deny them until they decided to disappeared. That's how she moved on from her parents dying, and that was how she was going to handle this as well.
So that's exactly what she did. She ignored. And oh man was it hard! Lena was incapable of finding everything Kara did adorable. When Kara would twist her fingers and play with her glasses when she was nervous was so cute, Lena could not help giggling at her friend's angst. Also when Kara would pout because she didn't get her way or lost at game night, Lena had to do everything in her power not to kiss the plump lip that Kara pushed out. When Kara finally told Lena that she was Supergirl – because she totally had to save the city and missed a lunch date for the third time – Kara babbled on and on for so long, Lena was sure she could have mounted her right there in her office. It was impossible for Lena to not fall for Kara but she worked hard every day to not let it slip so she could go on living a happy life for the first time in her life. She needed to be happy. Lillian, on the other hand though, had completely different plans on how Lena would live her life and she would do everything to make sure her adoptive daughter wasn't happy.
The week of Lillian's arrangement was going to be televised and Kara knew that Lena shouldn't be alone during a time like that, so she invited her over. Kara gave Lena the option of not watching any of the broadcasts, but Lena claimed she needed to know that the world was finally going to see her as who she truly was. There were hours of press conferences and reports before the trial would even begin so Kara and Lena settled on the couch with each other their favorite junk foods – Pizza, wings, chili dogs, and doughnuts. They were joking around and chatting when Lillian's limo pulled up in front of the court house and seeing her mother on her screen sent chills down her spin. She was frozen, staring at the tv screen, not hearing anything Kara was saying to her. Lillian looked just as calm and suave as ever and it killed her. She walked through the army of reporters unfazed by anything that was yelled at her. Lillian must have heard something that she wanted to respond to because she suddenly broke her poise. Lena had no recollection of what the reported asked, but Lillian looked straight into the camera, for the channel Lena and Kara happened to be watching and just sneered and then said "don't worry, I'll be back."
Lena couldn't breathe. She knew that it was just on a tv but it felt so real. Like Lillian was in Kara's tiny apartment and was staring into Lena's soul – just like when she was a kid. She wasn't safe. She was never going to be safe. Lillian would be back and everything Lena worked for would disappear again. She would lose all her friends and she would be alone and sad and thought a bitch by the world all over again. It was all gone. She was done for. She was a disappointment and worthless. She hated herself.
Lena's vision started to go fuzzy and she was shaking. She was crying, but the only reason she knew that was because she saw droplets on the pillow she was clutching to her chest. Far off in the distance, perhaps under water, she heard a voice calling out to her. She tried to cling onto it, cling onto anything that would keep her grounded, but nothing worked. She ended up only seeing black and that was it.
The next thing Lena could remember was waking up in a comfy bed, with strong arms wrapped around her and the intoxicating scent she tried to not get too addicted to surrounding her.
"Hey! You had me worried there for a while. How are you feeling?" Hearing Kara's voice sent a bright light through Lena's chest and she felt a sudden ease to breathe. She wasn't ready to turn and look at Kara yet though, she was really embarrassed, but she tried to talk but she heard fear in Kara's voice and even though she was the one that just had a panic attack, she would do anything to soothe Kara and make sure she wasn't too afraid of her. She coughed a little bit but choked out an "I'm good," and it was going to be the best she could do. No one in the world knew she had panic attacks. She went to great lengths to hide them from everyone because she needed to be strong and successful and she knew people would either abuse her or be afraid of her if they knew about her condition. Lena never suspected Kara to ever her take advantage about the fact that she had panic attacks, but she definitely didn't want their friendship to end because she didn't want to have to deal with a friends that stopped breathing and passed out sometimes. The more she thought about it, the worse she felt about herself and tried to squirm away, but damn Kara was too strong for her own good.
"Lena, you're safe. I've got you. Supergirl has got you and you are completely safe. Lillian's not coming anywhere near you, ever again. I will be by your side always. You. Are. Safe." Kara was so calm and firm when she talked to Lena, Lena actually believed it. Kara was going to keep her safe. Lillian wasn't going to touch Lena ever again. Kara wasn't going anywhere. Kara wasn't leaving Lena. When that fully dawned on Lena, she began to cry. Kara wasn't leaving her side because she had panic attack.
"Hey what did I say? Why are you crying?"
"You're not leaving me."
"Of course not, why would you think that?"
"I had a panic attack."
"If Supergirl can have Kryptonite, then everyone is allowed to not be so strong all the time." After hearing Kara being so understanding about the whole situation, Lena finally turned around and looked at Kara for the first time since everything happened. She stared into those stunning blue eyes and couldn't help herself anymore. She needed Kara and she couldn't keep it to herself any longer. She was in love with Kara Danvers, and she wasn't going to shove it away any longer. Lena put her hand up and caressed Kara's face and, surprisingly, Kara leaned into it. Lena laid there staring at Kara for a bit longer, memorizing her face and then she leaned in. She slowly began kissing Kara's bottom lip, the one she fantasized kissing for so long. She was about to pull away when Kara kissed her back. It was gentle and sweet but it created fireworks. Lena pressed her forehead to Kara's and breathed out, not knowing was would come next. Kara cleared her throat to speak and Lena felt her stomach drop not knowing what she was going to say.
"Thank Rao Lena! Finally!"