YONG-SOO IM: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! For some unknown reason, you have just purchased your very own YONG-SOO IM unit! This manual was made in order for you, the owner, to understand how to extract the very best of your unit. And believe us, you will need this manual.
Technical Specifications:
Name: Yong-Soo Im/Im Yong-Soo. Will respond to "Korea", "Older Brother", "Yong-soo-oppa", and "Yong-soo-hyung".
Age: 16
Place of Manufacture: Seoul, Korea
Height: 175 cm
Weight: 66 kg
Length: Longer than youd expect.
Your YONG-SOO IM unit comes with the following:
One (1) navy blue and white hanbok
One (1) art notepad
One (1) CD recording of "Arirang"*
Thirtytwo (32) Korean drama DVDs
Fourtyfive (45) jars of kimchi*
Programming
Your YONG-SOO IM unit is equipped with the following traits:
Male Model: Want to show off your unit to the world, or just in need of some cash? Well, send your YONG-SOO IM unit the nearest modeling agency, and watch the magic!
Mangaka/Professional Art Teacher: Always wanted to learn how to draw? If you can sit through his lessons, we guarantee that you'll soon become the artist you always wished you could be!
Stalker: If you have a major crush on that cute boy next door, but he is terrified of you, never fear! Just send your unit after him, and you'll soon have all the photos you need.
Babysitter: He doesn't look it, but your unit is great with kids. Just don't leave them with him for too long!
Substitute Guardian: Trying to make a point to that ridiculous landlady, neighbor or teacher? Just sic your YONG-SOO IM unit on her, and watch your opponent fall!*
Removal of your YONG-SOO IM from Packaging
This is actually a much harder task than one might think. If you wake your unit incorrectly, then you will never hear the end of it; if you move him before he is completely awake, then you might accidentally make him hate you. For your greater pleasure, we have provided a list of safe ways in which you can awaken your unit:
1. Stand next to the box, preferably prepared to block flying box lids, and say either, "Aru!" or, "Desu." Your YONG-SOO IM will manage to sidekick or palm the box lid off and get up, and you must immediately reprogram him lest he grope you in the belief that you are one of his brothers.
2. Take either the CD recording of "Arirang", or one of the provided drama DVDs, and play them loudly. If using the CD, you will hear humming and sometimes singing from the box, and it is safe to remove the top; if you play the dramas, then you will hear irritated grunting caused by your unit's annoyance at missing the drama. You can then remove the top as well, though he will probably jump up and shock you before running to the television or computer where the drama is playing.
3. Open a jar of the provided kimchi and set it on a plate. Use a fan or other such machine to waft the smell towards the box. You can also do this with a plate of boolnak jungol* or spiced jjol myun*. This route will make your YONG-SOO IM hungry and he will whine for food until you feed him.
4. Mispronounce Korean. Say, "Annyeonghaseyo!" as terribly as you can manage. This will result in a lengthy Korean pronunciation lesson from your unit, who will jump up violently when he hears you speak.
5. Open the box and poke your unit's curl. He will shudder and wake up, and he might be horny, so you probably want to watch out. Remember, if you're over 18, it's illegal to have sex with your unit!
6. draw 'manhoa' or 'manga' on a whiteboard with a squeaky marker. this will result in him trying to see exactly what you are drawing and when you are done, he will boast "That was made in korea, da ze!" at which point just saying his name will allow you to reprogram him.
Reprogramming
Upon waking your YONG-SOO IM, or calming him down again, you will have the option to reprogram him from his normal modes.
Happy-go-lucky (default)
Breast-grabbing (default)
Drunk
Whiny
Horny (locked)
Dramatic (locked)
The YONG-SOO IM comes in his default Happy-go-lucky mode, which unfortunately has Breast-grabbingas an add on. He will try to grope you at every living moment, and if you are a girl with large breasts you'll want to watch out; the staff warns us that it is extremely hard to get your YONG-SOO IM off once he has latched on to your chest. If he suddenly yells, "Your breasts belong to me!" then do not be alarmed; this is a sign of his default modes. He is also known to finish his sentences with, "Da-ze!"
The Drunk mode is simple to gain: keep him drunk, and you will have a blast. YONG-SOO IM is a hard drinker, and he has a very high alcohol metabolism and a taste for drinking games. Big Liar* is a very fun game to play with him, and he is guaranteed to make any parties of yours enjoyable. Be careful, though: he is underage, so don't get caught. We, the creators of this unit, are not responsible for any claims filed against you, for whatever reason.
The Whiny mode is also simple to unlock. If you ignore him for about twenty minutes, or just forget to make dinner or go grocery shopping, then your YONG-SOO IM will start whining and exaggerating about how you starve him. He might disappear for a while, probably to bother a KIKU HONDA or a YAO WANG for food. He will return in an hour or so.
The Horny mode can be accessed by letting him grope you, or suggesting it. Again, your unit is legally underage; we, the creators of this unit, are not responsible for any claims filed against you.
The Dramatic mode is locked as well, and is unadvised because your unit will do nothing but sit in the corner and sigh. To get him into it is by showing him a set of binoculars; to get him out of it is by making him any sort of Korean cuisine.
Relationships with Other Units
YAO WANG: Your unit has a long history with YAO WANG, leading back to YONG-SOO IM's childhood. When hungry or tired, your unit is known to go off in search of a YAO WANG unit, and when he's happy he often speaks about the days when he would grope his "older brother" or how much fun they had.
KIKU HONDA: YONG-SOO IM appears to hate this unit, but KIKU HONDA likes him a bit and will sometimes try to fix their relations. Truthfully, YONG-SOO IM adores the other unit, but he'll never admit it.
IVAN BRAGINSKI: Geographically, these two share a border and so have known each other for years. They do not interact much, though if they do speak then they are very friendly.
ALFRED F. JONES: Your unit likes him a bit, but not too much due to most ALFRED F. JONES units referring to YONG-SOO IM as a "FOB"*.
Cleaning
Your unit is fully capable of cleaning himself, though he does prefer bathing with others. There is no danger in bathing with him, though he might try and grope you.
Feeding
YONG-SOO IM is lazy, and hence prefers for others to cook him food. He can survive off kimchi and rice, though he will hate you if that is all you feed him. It is advised to occasionally make him sweets, or give him foreign foods.
Rest
Your unit loves to sleep, but he also loves to party. It is up to you how long you will have him sleep; he will generally listen to you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: My YONG-SOO IM unit is killing my computer! How can I stop this?
A: He is probably searching through the internet for more dramas to watch, and downloading from insecure sites. We suggest putting a long password on your computer and monitoring his time on it.
Q: My YONG-SOO IM lost his hanbok, and now he's refusing to wear anything!
A: The Korean spirit in your unit makes him want to always wear hanbok. You can call Customer Services and request a new hanbok, or purchase one from another store. You can make him one as well, if you have the talent.
Q: My unit flushes if I accidentally touch his curl. Why?
A: His curl is his erogenous zone. Touching it will make him break down and probably try and rape you; if he fails, he will run off in search of a YAO WANG or KIKU HONDA.
Troubleshooting
Problem: Your YONG-SOO IM unit is, for some reason, now only sitting at your table and sketching and muttering under his breath. He is also much quieter than normal, and more ominous-like; when he does talk, though, he grins brokenly and talks about a secure life.
Solution: Not-so-congratulatory, you have unlocked your unit's Yandere mode - or, as geography would say, your South Korea has turned into North Korea. This is unlocked by either showing him one too many documentaries on war, playing too many violent games, or neglecting him over a period of a week. He can be reverted to his normal mode by cooking him yakgwa*. Be warned - if you leave your unit in this mode for too long, and he meets either a YAO WANG or KIKU HONDA he might jump them violently. He is much more friendly with SADIQ ADNAN and IVAN BRAGINSKI, though.
Problem: The YONG-SOO IM you received is tiny. Other than that, he's exactly the way he should be.
Solution: We've sent you a LITTLE!KOREA on accident. He is really no different than the normal YONG-SOO IM unit, but he just poses less risk of accidental law-breaking. If you don't want him, call Customer Services and we'll sort it out.