Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I know it's hard to believe, I'm still recovering from the news.
Summary: After fourth year. Harry thinks he survived the worst, that is until his magic goes haywire and he finds himself stuck in his animagus form. Through turn of events Harry ends up with Remus. The Order and his friends think he's missing unaware that Harry is extremely close. Can Harry make them figure his presence out? Does he even want to be found?
Missing Right In Front of You
Chapter 1 – I'm Not Fine
A loud bell echoed throughout the Hogwarts Express. They had arrived at King's Cross station. All at once loud shuffling noises rumbled through the train as students made to leave their compartments and get off the train.
Harry sighed inwardly as he looked out the window at the students with their families heaving and lifting their trunks from the train. Everyone seemed excited to be going back home yet many still wore a haunted look behind their excitement. It wasn't all that unusual. After all, how many times does a student die at Hogwarts?
Harry turned away from the window when he felt someone placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Hermione with a concerned expression.
"Are you…" Hermione began but Harry cut her off.
"I'm fine" Harry said a little harsh. He didn't mean to sound like that, he just couldn't deal with the concern and everlasting questions right now.
Hermione seemed to pick up on that fact as she nodded in response. She left the train, Harry slowly trailing after her. Without even a glance Hermione and Ron both helped him get his trunk. After making sure he had everything, Harry turned to his friends.
Hermione still wore a concerned expression but she tried her best to hide it with a smile. Ron was pretty much the same, although Harry guessed Ron simply couldn't deal with that much worry and therefore acted as if everything was fine.
Harry didn't particularly care. After everything was taken care off he hadn't spoken a word. Well he did speak, but all he said was either 'I'm fine' or one-worded answers. It wasn't simply because he couldn't deal with what happened. It was a big part of it, but it wasn't the sole reasons for his lack of speech.
No Harry was afraid he would start yelling, screaming or even crying if he spoke much more. Everything that happened was desperately trying to get out, but Harry refused to let that happen. Instead he did what he always did, he bottled it all up inside.
He knew it wasn't right, but he just couldn't deal with it and he certainly wasn't going to break down. He couldn't afford to show any weakness. Definitely not now, since everything was going literally down-hill now. He never had an easy year, but now……things would definitely increase in horror tenfold and Harry knew it was all his fault, no matter what anyone said.
"Promise to write, okay Harry?" Hermione said softly almost begging Harry to comply.
Harry nodded his head slightly. If it would make her feel better he would write. After all she didn't say he had to make them very detailed.
"Well…uhm I'll try to convince dad to let you come to my place. I'm sure it'll be fine" Ron tried to sound cheerful but was failing at it miserably. Nevertheless Harry nodded and gave the smallest of smiles.
Hermione threw herself around his neck whispering comforting words before she pulled away and left the station to find her parents. Ron gave Harry a pat on the back as always and left with his family.
Harry had told Ron he really couldn't deal with the other Weasley's and had almost begged Ron to keep them away. Ron knew that meant Harry was really in bad shape, but seeing his friend's desperate expression he complied and had even managed to stop his mum from seeking Harry out. How he managed that, was a mystery to Harry.
Harry waved goodbye to the Weasley family before going through the barrier. Harry swiftly made his way to the parking lot, knowing if he took much longer Uncle Vernon would simply leave without him, probably thinking he died on them or something. Not that they would be particularly upset about. If anything they would celebrate until they passed out. The celebration might even be bigger than Dudley's birthday celebrations.
As expected Vernon sat behind the wheel, face completely red from anger and annoyance as he waited for Harry, who he referred to as 'boy'. As soon as Vernon noticed Harry he literally exploded out of the car a look of huge apprehension on his face as his eyes darted all over the place. He pulled open the trunk almost ripping it loose from the car and turned hateful eyes on Harry.
"Hurry up boy, before someone sees you!" He barked at Harry.
Being used to this treatment by now, Harry simply ignored it and heaved his heavy trunk into the car. Just when he got it safely in the car did he hear a loud screech. Harry quickly turned around to see Uncle Vernon literally throw Hedwig's cage, with Hedwig still in it, on the backseat.
"Be careful!" It was out before Harry realised what he'd said. Knowing he was getting an ear-bashing now, Harry dropped his gaze and mumbled an apology, not that Vernon would hear it from the blood rushing in his head.
"What did you say?!" He asked in a dangerous low voice. Harry tried not to swallow in anticipation. His whole body tensed as he prepared for Uncle Vernon to explode in anger.
Harry closed his eyes instinctively when Uncle Vernon grabbed him by the hair and threw him into the car. He slammed the door shut and Harry had just in time pulled his legs inside before they would be chopped off by the door. Uncle Vernon moved to the back of the car and slammed the trunk shut so hard, the whole car shook. Vernon then made his way over to the driver's seat slamming his own door shut. Again the car shook from the share force.
The drive back to Privet Drive was intense, Silence rang through the car except for uncle Vernon's angry takes of breath and his snorts of annoyance. Harry didn't dare sit up or look at anything. So he simply looked at the floor of the car after sending a swift apologetic look at Hedwig. 'Way to start your holiday' Harry thought miserably.
As expected Harry got locked in his room as soon as he stepped into the house. He heard the locks click and the board being pushed in place. His first slip up on the first day of summer. How much worse could it get?
Harry didn't bother unpacking his trunk. He felt miserable and exhausted. The fact that he wouldn't be receiving any diner today didn't help his mood at all. It wasn't really surprising though. This was usually his punishment for his 'insolent' behaviour.
Normally Harry could refrain himself from saying anything the Dursley's thought of as 'out of line', which usually meant everything he said was 'out of line'. He didn't care how he got treated, not anymore at least. He was used to it so much it seemed almost normal to him.
No, Harry cried out because of Hedwig. He couldn't bare the thought of her getting hurt because of him. Uncle Vernon hated him, that was no mystery, and simply by being Harry's pet Hedwig was declared a burden and horrid creature that didn't deserve kind treatment.
Harry shook his head. He wasn't going to drown in sorrow. He didn't deserve to grieve or feel like life was unfair. What he got was fair. What Cedric got wasn't.
The thought of Cedric made Harry's chest ache. Cedric was dead and it was all because of him. Voldemort wanted him, not Cedric. Yet because of Harry, Cedric got killed. Harry insisted they take the cup together. Cedric was willing to let Harry win which meant Harry would have been transported to the graveyard alone. But no, he had to act all honourable. If he had just done what Cedric said, then he wouldn't have died. Cedric would have lived.
Feeling his bottled up emotions threaten to rise to the surface Harry threw himself face down on his bed in a desperate attempt to keep the emotions at bay. He couldn't break down, not here, not now, not ever!
"Kill the spare!"
"NOOO!" The scream echoed through the room, but went no further. Harry bolted upright in his bed drenched in sweat and breathing rather laboured. His hair stuck to his head and his whole body was shaking.
Harry tried to calm himself, but he couldn't stop shaking. It was so real, like he was back there and living through it, all over again. He made to brush a hand through his hair, but stopped midway there. His eyes darted across the room wide in surprise and slight confusion.
His room was a mess. All the loose objects he possessed – which weren't many- lay scattered across the room, some even stuck in the walls. How that happened was beyond Harry. What had happened here? It was then that he heard Hedwig flapping her wings wildly in her cage obviously distressed.
Harry got up and moved over to her cage. He quickly opened it up and Hedwig took flight through the room probably trying to calm herself. After flying several circles she flew back to Harry and sat down on top of her cage.
Harry felt slightly nervous now. What happened to mess his room up like did and panic Hedwig? He searched around his room picking up the objects at the same time. There was nothing that didn't belong, except for Harry according to the Dursely's.
Harry placed the objects back to their place before moving over to the wall. There were two objects stuck in his wall and with stuck he meant really stuck. Half of the objects were impossible to see as they were all the way into the wall. Harry pulled and pulled, but they wouldn't budge. In the end Harry gave up.
He looked at the alarm clock and noticed it was still early in the morning, 4.30 to be precise. Sighing heavily Harry collapsed back on his bed. He was more exhausted then before he went to bed and now his mind kept going over what happened to his room. Harry was relieved that he remembered to place a silencing charm on his room.
He knew he wasn't supposed to do magic out of school, but a silencing charm wasn't that powerful to cause mayhem in the Ministry. The spell would give off a certain signature, but since it wasn't something really powerful no one worried about it. Most simply assumed it was some uncontrolled magic. If he had really cast a strong spell, like a Patronus, then yes he would definitely hear from the Ministry.
A loud screeching noise broke Harry out of his thoughts. He sat up and looked towards his window. Much to his horror there was an owl outside. Harry felt his stomach lurch at the sight. Whatever happened in his room would not be heard, but an owl OUTSIDE would definitely get his uncle's attention.
Harry jumped up, his heart beating feverishly against his chest. He ripped open the window desperation flooding him at the thought of uncle Vernon hearing the owl. He then squeezed himself through the windows and reached for the owl as far as he could with the bars in front of his window. He felt the owl and before the creature knew what was going on Harry pulled it inside by it's leg making sure to manoeuvre carefully around the bars. The owl practically screeched out, but Harry was quick to close the window making the screech go by unheard, except for Harry and Hedwig though.
Harry released the bird after taking off the letter. The owl flew to the top of his wardrobe looking immensely dissatisfied with its treatment. Harry sighed deeply as he looked apologetic towards the owl before sitting down on his bed.
The letter was from Sirius and so was the owl. Sirius had informed Harry before the last term ended that he would hide out in his old home. He had obviously gotten an owl. Harry didn't know if he should feel happy or not about this news. He loved hearing from Sirius, but at the same time it worried him since getting letters could easily get him in trouble.
Yes Sirius had threatened the Dursley's after third year and it worked up until a certain point. Harry was always quick to reassure others he was fine. Since Sirius never sent another threat the Dursley's thought he had been bluffing or maybe thought he'd died, or at least they hoped he'd died.
Harry was thankful Sirius' owl was rather small. It made pulling the owl inside his room much easier since those horrid bars blocked anything bigger. Hedwig for example would never fit through, much to Harry's annoyance. He really wanted to give Hedwig some freedom. He didn't want her to suffer because of him.
Sighing again Harry read the letter.
Hey Harry,
Well you probably guessed but that scrawny little owl is mine. I couldn't exactly go out and buy one, so Moony went for me. He claims it's a fine owl and it's really quick. Rubbish of course. He just couldn't resist getting me a scrawny owl.
Anyway how are you holding up? I know you don't want to talk about it and insist you are fine. I may not know you that long, but I certainly know you are not fine. You're too much like James so I can definitely tell you not coping and I don't blame you.
Just try to open up to someone. If not me, then Moony or your friends.
Be sure to send me a letter back and I expect a rather detailed one this summer. No more of those vague 'I'm fine, can't wait to get back to Hogwarts' letters.
This is probably the longest letter I've ever written. I'll try to convince Dumbledore to let you come. Take care of yourself and hang in there, Pronglet.
Sirius
Harry smiled slightly at the new nickname. Sirius had dubbed him Pronglet one day when he, Hermione and Ron went to visit him in that cave during Hogsmeade weekends. Since his dad was named Prongs, Sirius decided it should be something similar. That's how he came up with Pronglet.
Harry brushed a hand through his hair. He would have to reply and he knew if it wasn't detailed enough Sirius would surely come to see him, no matter that the whole Wizarding world was out to get him.
Harry moved beside the bed and pulled loose one of the floorboards. He had made himself a secret hiding place for all his Hogwarts stuff. He grabbed a piece or parchment and some ink before settling back on his bed to think what he would write back.
He decided to write three letters. One to Sirius, one to Ron and one to Hermione. It was too good an opportunity not to. He had access to a pretty small owl that could somewhat pass through the bars before his window. He knew Hermione would get worried if he didn't sent a letter. She always expected something the very first week. He just hoped she wouldn't get suspicious that he sent something this early.
He couldn't get Hedwig out through the window because she was too big and he couldn't sneak her out of the back door, because he got locked in his room whenever he wasn't needed. To think it was only the second day of summer and he was already thinking of solutions to keep Sirius and his friends in the dark.
Hey Sirius,
I'm fine, really. No need to worry. I admit I'm still somewhat haunted by what happened, but I'll handle it.
Don't be too hard on Remus. The owl isn't all that bad. A bigger owl does require more attention. Remus was probably trying to buy you an owl of low maintenance.
Wish you luck with Dumbledore. I highly doubt he'll let me leave this place. Don't do anything drastic.
Harry
P.S. I've written a letter to both Hermione and Ron. Could you sent them through to them. Hedwig is out hunting.
Sirius' owl flew down to Harry's bed ready to take off again. Harry took some owl treats out of the drawer of his bedside table and gave both the small owl and Hedwig one before writing the next letter.
Hey Hermione,
Just thought I'd sent you a letter since I've got nothing else to do around here. Don't worry I'm fine. Sirius is already on my case, so no need for you to do the same.
Not much I can tell you so early in summer though. Don't worry too much about me and enjoy your summer a bit. I know it won't be easy with the current situation.
I'll probably hear from you soon, if you don't mind please sent your letter with Sirius' owl. It's easier.
Harry
Harry stood up and stretched a bit. He felt incredibly stiff. He didn't know if it was from the tension he was constantly feeling for Voldemort thinking when he would come to end his miserable life or the many potions Madam Pomfrey forced down his throat when he…..returned.
He sat back down to write the last letter before his aunt Petunia came to get him.
Hey Ron,
How's everything going at home? Twins bothering you already?
I'm doing fine so don't worry. You don't need to write back soon since I'm pretty early with my letter. Didn't have anything better to do and Sirius sent a letter with his new owl so I thought it be easier to sent some letters to go with the scrawny bird.
If you do sent a letter, sent it to Sirius so he can sent it with his owl. It's easier.
Harry
Harry fuddled the letters and after some fiddling with the bird had them tight on the bird's leg. The small owl hooted annoyed. It was sent with one letter and returned with three. All Harry could do was to give it an apologetic look and an owl treat.
He begged the owl to be silent and then quickly opened the window again. He squeezed himself through as far as he could and stretched his arm that held the owl as far as he could through the bars. He released the owl with a little force so it wouldn't go tumbling down at first. The owl hooted softly before flying off.
Harry quickly closed the window and hid his things again. He gave another try at the objects in his wall, but they didn't budge. Harry gave up just when he heard noises down the hall, which could only mean one thing.
Aunt Petunia was up and about and she would be coming to get him within the next hour or so, probably to make breakfast and then the usual slave labour they called chores. Harry sat down in annoyance and buried his head in his hands. 'If I could just disappear' He thought miserably.
"Don't just stand there! This isn't going to clean itself up!" Aunt Petunia screeched at Harry.
Uncle Vernon was already seated before the telly. Dudley had already taken of to his friend's house. Harry tried not to sigh or scowl as he started cleaning up breakfast.
It didn't take long for Uncle Vernon to start mumbling horrible things about him. Harry was used to them by now and wasn't bothered by them…..much. This of course only give more fuel to Uncle Vernon as he turned his Harry bashing up a notch.
"All a bunch of freaks, not letting you mess up my family…." Uncle Vernon started again.
Harry inwardly sighed. How many times was he going to hear the same things over and over again. Didn't his uncle get that it couldn't possibly bother him anymore what he said. Harry was used to it. He could practically bash himself since he got is memorised.
"Bloody Potters, it's all their fault. They just had to die and get us stuck with you. Bloody useless scum….." Vernon never finished.
The lights in the room flickered dangerously, the telly only showed a red screen instead of the normal black when it malfunctioned and plates floated in mid air. Vernon turned around when he heard Petunia screech in horror. She stood frozen in horror watching Harry.
Vernon watched as well as Harry turned around a furious look on his face. Vernon almost screamed in terror when he saw Harry's eyes darkened strangely. It wasn't that his eyes darkened, but his pupils had dilated so much that the green colour disappeared leaving only the white with a dark circle inside.
Doors suddenly flew open and a cold wind swept through the house making Vernon and Petunia shiver.
"Don't you dare speak about my parents like that!" Harry yelled outraged. He didn't care what Vernon said about him, but no one spoke like that about his parents. He refused to let anyone destroy their memory like that.
"You listen now boy….!" Vernon started in a wavering voice. He never got to finish.
"I'm through!" Harry yelled. A loud bang from upstairs got their attention. Soon enough a white owl came soaring inside the living room. Harry looked at her silently begging her to escape.
"Go to Ron's" He said as she swept passed him. Hedwig left through the back door hooting softly for Harry.
Harry felt his anger slipping away and the floating plates dropped to the ground with a crash. Before Harry could react though, Uncle Vernon had grabbed him by the collar.
"How dare you…you….you….FREAK OF NATURE!" He bellowed at last. He grabbed Harry by the hair and dragged him to his room.
Vernon threw him to the floor and before Harry could get up he kicked him in the ribs. Harry cried out in surprise more than shock. Vernon kicked him a few more times. The last kick hit Harry's head.
Harry's vision blurred and he felt extremely dizzy. He watched through a blurred vision as Uncle Vernon left the room and slammed the door closed so hard it nearly came of its hinges. He heard the familiar clicks and the board being put in place followed by Vernon stomping down the stairs.
Harry didn't bother getting up from the floor. He was exhausted and in pain. Not to mention the blow to his head made him feel sick. He was sure he had a concussion. Harry couldn't believe he had lost control so badly. Sure he blew up Aunt Marge before third year and did some accidental magic as a child, but nothing this severe had ever happened. Harry felt his anger bubble back.
Why was this happening? Wasn't his life messed up enough already!? Now he had to deal with uncontrolled magic as well. A loud cloink had Harry sitting up and looking around his room. Harry immediately noticed the two objects on the ground. He turned to the wall and sure enough there were two deep holes in the wall, but the objects were now laying on the ground.
Harry picked the objects up and stared at them. He had been trying to get them loose using his whole body weight and a simple thought of anger easily ripped them loose from the wall. What was happening with his magic?
Harry felt frustration bubble inside him. Could he ever get a break!? Much to his surprise the objects in his fists dented until they were completely squashed. Harry couldn't handle it anymore and I frustration threw them through the room before collapsing on his bed.
If he had bothered to look where he threw them, he would have seen them sticking in the opposite wall from before.
The last thought Harry had about this horrible day was, that Hedwig had at least gotten out of here.
"Crucio"!
Harry twisted in agonising pain in bed. He was once again in that horrid nightmare. It wasn't really a nightmare. It was a memory of that horrible day. The day Voldemort returned and Cedric died. The day everything went down hill.
"Avada Kedavra!"
Harry jolted awake instantly. He was breathing heavily again and this time his scar even hurt. It went like this every night since that day. Every time he dreamed about the graveyard and every time he woke at different moments.
Harry pulled his knees to his chest and lay his head down on top of his knees. He was so tired. So tired of constantly being on Voldemort's radar and now…..there was no way he could escape him again. He was as good as dead.
He didn't know how long he sat there. His mind got restless if possible. Harry thought about Sirius and Ron and Hermione, even Remus was on his mind. All four cared a great deal for him, Harry knew this. He missed them already. As he thought of Sirius he couldn't help but wonder again if he could escape like Sirius did. If Sirius escaped the most feared wizarding prison, the certainly Harry could escape his relatives.
Harry knew it was foolish thinking. There were several things stopping him. One he wasn't an animagus, two Dumbledore wouldn't let him and three Voldemort would probably kill him the moment he was out in the open.
With a heavy heart Harry fell back to sleep, praying beyond anything he wouldn't dream of the graveyard again. The last thing on his mind was Padfoot and the way he always managed to cheer him up.
Unfortunately he did dream about the graveyard. He stood before Voldemort trying to find a way to escape. Harry hid behind a tombstone and could hear Voldemort saying he couldn't escape. Something before him, hidden in the darkness drew his attention. Harry couldn't look away. He watched two white/blue eyes in the darkness. He heard a low growling sound before two fangs appeared. Before he could react he found himself standing before Voldemort again ready to fight.
The two spells collided, but that wasn't what Harry was focused on. His eyes looked passed Voldemort. A big black animal stalked towards him. Before he knew what was happening, the animal jumped at him and he went crashing to the ground. A loud growl sounded beside him before a sudden pain stung through his body.
With a jolt Harry woke up, but found himself unable to move. Sudden pain flared up in his body. Harry tried to keep himself from screaming, but the pain was even worse than a Cruciatus Curse. It felt like his bones were manoeuvring around his body along with his muscles. The pain was excruciating and Harry cried out until he ran out of breath and even then he still cried out in silence. His lungs were burning with the lack of oxygen and he felt like his muscles were ripped to pieces.
Harry fell off his bed and started convulsing on the ground. A warm liquid filled his throat and mouth and instinctively Harry spat it out. A crimson liquid lay on the ground, but Harry didn't care. The pain was too much. He felt like something sharp penetrated the skin on his hands and feet. Harry convulsed more heavily as he spat out more blood. Then all of a sudden he lay still. He let out a breath, but his chest didn't rise anymore.
Outside Harry's window a small owl screeched to be let in, holding letters from Sirius and Harry's friends. Letters Harry would probably never receive.
Well people, this is my first attempt at a Harry Potter story. Didn't plan on the first chapter being so long. Pretty proud of myself. Hope you'll all find the chapter any good.
Please read and review. I didn't plan on making a cliff-hanger. I hope whoever reads this story won't stop after this cliff-hanger. Thanks for reading and please also review!