Title: glass hearts were only meant to break
Summary: Godric, Salazar and learning that glass hearts shatter eventually and that even gods have to fall. / For Cassie
Notes: This was written for the beautiful Allie's Big Sis, Lil' Sis HPFC Competition, where me and my 'big sis' have to write linking fics. My big sis, Cassidy – our dancing days – has written a gorgeous piece that links in with this and tells the other side of the story – glass wings were only meant to fall. Enjoy!
"Do you think anger is a sincere emotion or the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain?" – Andrea Gibson
The thing about Icarus is that he really thought he could fly. When he jumped, he could have fallen, his wings could have failed him or he could have soared through the clouds, away from everything, towards a better future. There were countless possibilities that could have marked the ending of Icarus' tale, but he was sure that it would be the positive – he was sure he would escape somehow and he was sure that his wings wouldn't fail him. There were countless possibilities and, in the end, Icarus went down in history for being the boy that flew too close to the sun.
Sometimes, when he helped to outline the laws of magic, as he lay down the foundation for the magical future with his companions at his side, Godric wondered whether he would eternally be known as the boy with the glass wings who didn't realise that they could crack, smash, break at a moment's notice. He certainly felt a bit like Icarus – he truly thought that he might be able to fly for evermore, fly through the future of the young witches and wizards that would follow, fly through the pages of history until his name and his wings were engraved across the minds of all future generations. But, he could tell that, just like Icarus, his wings were fragile and that, if he wasn't careful about how high he jumped or when he chose to do so, they would crumble and he would become just another boy who miscalculated his own strength and fell down, down to the ground, his name and his legacy tumbling with him.
But, there were thousands and thousands of other boys, men, out there, who just like Icarus, just like Godric himself, were either going to fall or fly and there were a thousand different endings to each of their stories and, who's to say that Godric wouldn't be one of the lucky few that managed to be caught by the right breeze and managed to take off.
There was one boy though that Godric knew would manage to fly either way, a boy so achingly familiar to him, a boy with clear, cold blue eyes that unexplainably flashed green in his dreams: Salazar Slytherin, the boy that looked like his wings would never, ever fail him. Salazar Slytherin, the boy that Godric could see a thousand possible futures with, a thousand possible futures just waiting to be unlocked and discovered.
When the first room of the nameless castle that would stretch to the sky was built, Salazar, Helga, Rowena and himself would sit together, mapping out their plans for the future world in the room they soon called the library. Some days, they would sit there together and they would talk about their plans and their hopes and Godric would glance over at Salazar – Salazar sat in his arm chair like it was a throne, his fingers curled around ancient books and his clear blue eyes roaming the room and Godric would remember, just for a moment, another boy, sat in that exact chair the very same way, a boy with green eyes and black hair whose name was on the very tip of Godric's tongue, a boy that Godric had never laid eyes on but was as familiar to him as Salazar was. But, Godric would shake the thought out of his mind and concentrate instead on the way the sunlight turned Salazar's dark, brown (or maybe it was black) hair to golden, the way that Salazar's mouth would form smooth words that would glide off the tip of his tongue with no difficulty and the way that his magnificent, green glass wings stretched out behind him, without a single crack in them.
Sometimes, Godric would swear he could see Salazar glancing back at him, squinting at him as though he was trying desperately to work out who he reminded him of, his mouth trying to form a name that would never come.
Sometimes, when Salazar looked back, Godric would swear he could see intrigue in Salazar's eyes, like he maybe wanted Godric in the same way that Godric wanted Salazar, but Godric pushed that thought out of his mind as well. After all, he was nothing but a brave little boy with fragile wings and a cracked heart and Salazar was so much more than Godric could ever be.
But, Godric could see, just as he could see the thousands of possibilities stretching out before them, that their tale could end in happily ever after – he could see himself and Salazar (or maybe it was someone else – another boy with emerald eyes and black hair) soaring off into the distance together, hand in hand, both with strong glass wings and beating glass hearts that would finally be repaired.
And, Godric was right, in some ways. One day, Salazar stood in the library doorway and he stared at Godric properly and his mouth began to form long forgotten words 'S-sc' and his hair suddenly looked black and his eyes green, and he took Godric's hand and whispered something about a blonde haired boy with a heart of gold in his ear and, it was the beginning. It was the beginning of a relationship that had heaps upon heaps of possible outcomes, all waiting to be uncovered.
It began and they were both young, foolish and genius – it was the days of untamed magic, crafting corridors that stretched on forever and holding glass hearts together with fragile hands.
It began and neither of them knew for certain how it would end but both were willing to take a risk.
Salazar has always been handsome, with his eyes of ice and silver tongue and heart of glass, but Godric had always been able to see that, behind those icy eyes, there was something else there – it was something a little like fire and planning an escape and ambitions that would take the world by storm.
That night, however, all Godric could see was the thousands of stars that hung in the heavens above, all reflected in those endless blue eyes that hid so much more than anyone could ever imagine. They were both together, on top of the newest addition to the castle- their castle, the highest point of the building so far – the Astronomy Tower, the closest to the stars that he had ever been.
And, that night, the only things that existed were he, Salazar and the endless heavens above them, the heavens that they were both staring up at right now.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Godric pondered aloud, his eyes searching the blackness around him.
"It's even more beautiful from here," Salazar replied, taking another step closer to the edge.
Godric took another step forward to the edge, to where Salazar was standing, so close to falling that he could feel his stomach churning. "I suppose it is," he responded, stepping quickly back. Salazar, however, didn't follow him.
"Come on, Salazar, you'll fall if you're not careful," he teased, but Salazar remained stock still, his head outstretched to the heavens above.
"I'm not joking," Godric tried again, "come on, let's just go back dow-"
"Have you ever considered, Godric," Salazar replied, "that maybe I want to fall."
Godric stood in silence, in shock. He'd seen many sides of Salazar – ambitious, ruthless, arrogant, lover, carer, but never before, had he come across like this, never once had his posture screamed broken man and his voice been this cracked. He's never seen this side of Salazar before, but he recognised it, he could see another boy, the same achingly familiar emerald eyed figure that seemed to be with him always, with the same stance of a broken man.
"Humans are all so scared of falling," Salazar continued, "it's one of the natural fears that we're born with. It's engrained in us from birth, that we shouldn't stand too close to the edge, that we shouldn't tiptoe along the precipice, just in case we lose our footing and we tumble to the ground below, but we're never told what else may happen – for all we know, we could all have wings and we could all be lifted up by the wind. Have you ever considered that, Godric?"
Godric stood, stunned, staring at Salazar's silhouette, imagining those magnificent glass wings that could carry him anywhere stretching from his back.
Those magnificent wings that tonight, looked like they were cracked for the first time.
"Sometimes, I want to jump. I want to see if my wings will work and I want to fly away from here, fly far, far away. I want to fly away from this bloody castle and from the life that has been set out for me. I want to escape, Godric, can't you see it? I want to choose my own future."
Only now did he step away from the edge, turning on his heel, his eyes staring into Godric's. And, finally, Godric saw in those blue, blue eyes what had been there for a long time now – he saw red, hot anger. It was so unlike Salazar – Godric was the hot heated one, the one whose eyes flashed with red and Salazar had always been cool, calm and collected but, tonight it was different.
"Salazar, you're angry, I underst-"
"Of course I'm fucking angry! I know you see it too, I know that you see who are going to be, I know you see who we are supposed to be, I know that you can't find the name as well. Don't you get it, though? Our future is already laid out, can't you see it? What happens to us has already been decided and I don't want it to be like that! I want to decide my own future and I want to fly away from here – I want to get out before the life that I am meant to be leading suffocates me and won't let me escape. I want to choose, Godric, I want to choose."
In that moment, Godric looked at Salazar, his blue eyes ablaze with red fire and hurt and he wondered whether anger was a sincere emotion, whether Salazar really was furious, but then, he looked through the fire and the anger and he could see so much more and he realised that anger was the timid motion of Salazar's glass heart, trying to beat away its pain.
"Oh, Salazar," Godric said, just as Salazar crumpled into a sobbing heap on the floor and just like before, Godric's mouth tried to form those familiar forgotten words, "A-A-Al,"
Godric knelt next to him and Salazar whispered, "don't you see Godric? Our future is already laid out for us and it will end in heartbreak. I will leave you and I don't want to but, can't you tell, it's written in every star that sits above us right now. You and I, our destiny is to part."
"Yes, but can't you see the other outcomes. Can't you see the one where we both spread our wings together and take off and live happily ever after? There are a thousand different ways our story could end, and you leaving me is just one of them."
Salazar didn't respond, but Godric could feel his glass wings shattering and so, he sat on the ground next to his soul mate, his lover, his destiny and he held Salazar's glass heart in his own hands and tried to help it beat again.
And he wondered whether there would ever be two more soul mates that would lie together on this very same tower, holding glass hearts and wings between warm fingers and praying it would last through the night.
If you think about it, glass wings were only ever meant to fall, just as glass hearts were only ever meant to break.
The thing about glass hearts is that, once they're cracked, there's little chance of them ever repairing fully again. And glass wings can never regain their full potential, once they've begun to shatter. And, Godric knew full well that Salazar would never be the same magnificent, whole boy again, after that night on the astronomy tower.
They were still Godric and Salazar and their glass hearts were still trying to beat, but they were failing and soon, the glass would shatter and they would become just like Icarus, they would fall towards the ground and never get back up. They were still Godric and Salazar and what was going to happen to them was still written in the stars, but there were still a thousand possibilities open.
But, this time, they were both a little too foolish and their glass hearts a little too damaged to be repaired and so, of course the inevitable happened.
Just like Icarus, they fell.
And, now, they were standing in the fully built castle, their names in history books already, their past behind them, their future laid out in front of them and their glass wings failing.
Salazar looked at Godric, his blue eyes cold and empty, "I'm leaving. I mean it, this time. You and I have both known from the start that this was where we were going to end up. Broken. Falling. Alone."
"Salazar, you don't have to leave, we all have our differences – you want to only educate pure bloods, but it's no reason to vanish."
"Godric, don't be so naïve. Close your eyes and you can see it – you have known from the beginning that we were always going to fail. It was never us that would fly, it was someone else. We were always just going to fall and crumble down to the ground."
"But, Salazar, we're gods now – we are already flying, we'll be remembered until the end of time, we can't fall. We can't fail. We have already succeeded."
"Godric, sweetheart, even gods have to fall eventually," Salazar replied, turning away, his coat billowing as he strode down the stone corridor, away from Godric, away from the castle, away from his life and Godric thought of two other boys that had walked away from each other, their glass wings failing, but had found their way back to each other eventually. In another life-
"Just… forgive me," he murmured, Albus taking his hand and spreading their fully repaired glass wings and entering the rest of forever together, never falling from the cerulean sky.
-Icarus' beating heart would have allowed him to carry on, even after the wax had melted.
And, suddenly, Godric knew exactly who he was, his mouth formed the words that he had been trying to say for his entire life, the achingly familiar word that he had forgotten.
"Albus!" he called, and Salazar turned back and walked towards him.
"Scorpius," he murmured, "Scorpius. Albus and Scorpius, the boys that get to live out our happy ever after. The boys that found each other again. You and I, I suppose, in a different life."
"The boys that managed to fly away, against all the odds. That could be us, Salazar, if you stayed."
"Godric, I'm leaving. I have to leave."
"You don't have to leave, Salazar," Godric begged, reaching out and grasping Salazar's sleeve, "please. Please don't leave me,"
But, Salazar was already falling, he was already plummeting towards the ground, his glass wings had already failed him and he had already chosen his path – just like Albus and Scorpius had already chosen theirs and just like everyone else in the whole goddamned world had, except for Godric.
Godric watched Salazar walk away felt his glass heart shatter one final time – he could see so many futures laid out in front of him, futures he and Salazar could have lived together – futures that didn't end in goodbye, futures of the young boys they would be and all the boys they might have been.
And he wondered whether there will ever be two more naïve, foolish, genius boys with silver smiles and glass wings that will walk the same path as he had.
He just hoped that their glass hearts will be strong enough to keep them going when their glass wings fail.