Broken, Without You're Touch
Summary: Takes place after Syaoran left to go to Hong Kong, Sakura sees a diary Syaoran left for her. one-shot, SxS, Sakura POV
A/N: Yeah, just a random story. Kinda bored and I have the snuffles. well here it is! Please ReviEw!
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A sight of an airplane whooshed by the big glass window in front of me. I'am Sakura Kinomoto, 10 years old, currently in love, with Li Syaoran.
I clutched the remains of Syaoran. The air which we both breathed, I think I was going crazy, clutching air… A teddy bear was all I could give the person I truly cared about.. And yet I felt good…I told him that I loved him…in a way…I did. I DID love Li… I LOVED HIM.
He was gone..Away…To Hong Kong. I'm wondering when he'll come back.. when I could feel his warm embrace, his loving looks, everything…I already missed him. I stared. Just stared at the window. I tried not to cry, I tried not to act up…I-I can't help myself for loving him. But I did and I have absolutely no regrets. None whatsoever.
I could see Tomoyo waiting for me near the passenger's exit. She was wearing the dress I gave her for her birthday. It probably means a lot to her. She means a lot to me. I decided to just go…leave the lonely view of the sunset and go to Tomoyo. She always comforts me…but her comforts, aren't like Syaoran's. Not in an offensive way! I appriciate everything she does!
Her limousine was there. She said she would give me a lift home. Her bodyguards surrounded us and we hopped in. I looked outside the window, wondering about Syaoran. Where he is, how he is, wondering if he's wondering about me too.
A felt a tug on my shirt. Tomoyo handed me something. Something shaped like a small book with a green cover. She said it was from Syaoran.
I felt my eyes widen. He left me something? What could it be? I tore my eyes away from Tomoyo's smile and ripped open the package. It was still green inside, but with white and pink velvet lining this time. There was writing on the front but some words seemed to be covered out and replaced with other words. It said: "Li's FamilyHeart BeatsJournal" (the ones in brackets are the ones he replaced) I was really eager to open it. But I waited to get home first.
Before I knew it, I was already home. Tomoyo bid farewell and I went up the steps. The moment I opened the door, Touya came jumping out. Or rather he fell down. I guess he was going to go out as well but I came in earlier. I giggled and bid him good afternoon. I went to the kitchen to greet dad, but he doesn't seem to be in.
I rushed to my room and locked the door. Kero was asleep, snoring kinda loud actually! So I decided to read it personally under the sheets of my cozy bed.
I took off the lock (since it was already opened) and read the first page. More crossed words were there. It looked like the prologue of the journal. They were mostly in Chinese words so I didn't know what it meant. I thought to myself to call Syaoran but, I wanted to find out about the journal more.
I slowly flipped through the first page. It was pretty thin. Here was the first entry:
Day 1
Hey, this is Li again. I'm going to Japan tomorrow. Seems like this girl opened the Book of Clow Cards. It seemed to me that she was careless and yet I feel rather jealous. I'm guessing she is appointed as the Card Captor…
Anyway, I hope Meiling wont come! She sticks into other people's business and pretends to know what it is.
I'm willing to do my job as Card Captor of the Li Clan.. for my father and my mother!
I was impressed with how Syaoran was so dedicated for his family. It seemed at first to annoy me the first time we met. But now I've learned to love him. More than anyone.
I smiled and turned to the next page.
Day 3
I met this girl who seems to be the Card Captor. Sakura Kinomoto was her name I think. She seems weak to me! She isn't capable of handling the cards! At least, I don't think so! Lucky girl.
I feel the presence of the Thunder Card, I bet she'll be there. Well I'll be there as well! She'd be sorry for this! I'll demand all the cards she has!
I was surprised. Syaoran was jealous… of me? Before I was just intimidated because he stormed up to me and demanded the cards. Now, I just love him.
I read a lot of the pages, mostly everything contains me in them! But I stumbled upon this one page. It was decorated with pink, for some reason, I'm surprised! He likes green.
There were hearts all over and I saw a picture of…me!
Day 46, year 2
Sakura seemed nervous during Yue's judgment. I still knew she would make it through. I knew! I…I know Sakura.. I know she'll do well. There was a part in the test that Sakura was about to lose. I tried to help her but that risk her losing! I just couldn't stand it…! To see her suffer….! Funny, I…I've never felt like this about anyone…Caring….Loving….What did they all mean?
I saw her fight. She was good. After wards, I congratulated her and…and….I…I….
She told me to call her Sakura…not Kinomoto-san anymore…did that mean….mean…that….I…I…
At that point I felt my heart beat faster. There were a lot of crossed lines and drawings. Then in big, messy red font, I read the 4 words that changed my feelings towards him to daring heights…
I Think I love Her….
My heart was about to explode…That's when he…? I wanted to read all… I couldn't stop but why did he leave this behind?
I read more of it. Some made me laugh, cry and sucked up in the journal so much that she didn't see the time fly.
I read each and everyone, with my feelings for him growing with each page. Then finally, I came upon the very last 4 pages.
Day 66, year 2
We're going skiing today. I'm excited, as I myself am not good in skiing…I-I bet Sakura is…AHHH! Why am I thinking this! I…I guess I really care for her huh? Well I hope something happens…I haven't told her of how I feel about her but Tomoyo is helping me…I never knew Sakura the way Yukito and Tomoyo did. I'm afraid that if I tell her, I might hurt her…I don't want that! I love her and I can't risk it..
I could feel my eyes bursting with tears already. Syaoran, he was trying to tell me! But…but I couldn't tell him….I…I….
I quickly turned to the next page after realizing how much I missed Syaoran already. I didn't want to forget. But…It hurts so much…I want to keep reading though! No matter how sad, or how my chest hurts…I'll read….for Syaoran!
Day 68, year 2
This is the day…where I'm finally going to tell Sakura my feelings! I'm nervous…what if she'll say no or something! But I have to tell her….before…before….
I want her to know how I feel. Before I go. Even if she takes it the wrong way, I'll still love her…because she's Sakura…and I love Sakura. She's my number one. Forever.
Afternoon, 3:27 PM
I told her.. I told her that I loved her…she just stared at me…surprised..I wasn't so sure about her reaction but I'm afraid of her…of her words…did she hate me? Was I that bad? I loved her but…did she love me? Love me enough to say something?
I had to run…it was embarrassing for me…I loved her but…did she…love me?
The last sentence was re-written all over the pages…Syaoran loved me but…but I…
I felt the tears flow again… I hated myself for that….Syaoran loved me the way I loved him but…I didn't tell him! I was confused! I was so stupid! Why couldn't I see it! Why….why…..
The last journal entry was plainly written. IT read..
Day 70, year 2
I'm leaving for Hong Kong now. Sakura still hasn't told me how she felt…but its okay.. I still love her. Forever and ever!
Wan says we have to leave by 10 so I'll leave the house by 7:30 or so. I heard this song from Tomoyo. I dedicate it to Sakura.
Broken
Amy Lee
I'm broken
When I'm opened
I don't feel like
I'am strong enough
Cuz I'm broken
When I'm lonesome
I don't feel right
When you're gone away…
I cried so hard. I didn't know that Syaoran felt this way about me…not that I didn't feel the same way…but I was stupidly ignorant…. That was when I was making my bear…I don't regret the last moments we spent..Oh wait…there still more…
I'll give her my teddy bear. But will she come? I hope she will. Although…I don't want to go…I have to…but I'll come back for her. I promise
My tears wont stop. I knew I loved him but why didn't I tell myself that? I loved him and yet I hate d myself for not being brave…I rejected my feelings….
And that's the last page…I slowly closed the journal and slipped out of bed. I wanted to put it down but a part of me didn't. it was sad…sad…
As I lay the journal down on my desk, a note fell out of it. I picked it up and wondered what it could be…
What could it be?
I opened it and ….and….it was from Syaoran!
Dear Sakura,
I hope you get this. I told Tomoyo to give it to you, to remind you of my feelings. I hope it did. These are my feelings towards you. I love you sakura. Even if you don't feel the same way.
The first time I met you, I felt as if you were weak… but you aren't. I'm actually wondering to myself…if you really are a thief..
But now I know. You are a thief. You stole my heart.
You're also an angel. That blessed the very day I saw you're green eyes and brown hair.
Be strong. I'l come back. Back to you. I promise. Promise you…
I'll come back..
For you…
Sakura Kinomoto, I love you.
Sincerely,
Li Syaoran
I clasped my hands to my mouth. Tears were like a fountain overflowing as his letter is dropped with salted tears.
I just realized as I hugged the letter so tightly. The sun was shining upon the new day…I realize…now that all that I went through, All that I experienced, All that I went through…
Wouldn't be possible without Syaoran.
And from that moment…I really knew…I LOVE HIM!
I opened the window and screamed at the top of my lungs, tears filled in my eyes, smile upon my face…
SYAORAN! I LOVE YOU TOO! I KNOW YOU'LL COME BACK! I KNOW YOU WILL! BECAUSE YOU ARE SYAORAN! THE ONE I LOVE THE MOST!
LI SYAORAN….I LOVE YOU!
Fin
How bout that huh? Well please review. Fluffy… I like fluffy mind you! hope you guys like it! bye!