Disclaimer: I don't own the series Lost or the original characters. All I own is my imagination and the plot.
A/N: Yes, I know it's short, probably out of character, not that well written, pointless, and I should have spent more time on it, but despite all of that I still like it.
Don't Tell
''A secret's a secret.''
He had a steadfast hold on her, one that didn't let up until he finished what he had started. The words spilled from his mouth, quickly strung into disorderly sentences as he rushed to get it all out, not looking at Kate as she struggled with her tears, not wanting to be at risk of regret. She had it coming, provoking him the way she had, and he wasn't going to ease up, no matter how she cried; she hadn't backed down and neither would he.
He kept talking, revealing her secrets one by one until she had none left, tearing down the wall around her as she crumbled. She tried so hard not to cry, but as he finished off, he did the same with her. She saw how people's opinion of her changed and although she told herself that it didn't matter what they thought of her, the looks of shock and fear haunted her. They had all made up their minds about her and there was nothing she could say. She had lied to them from the very beginning, thinking that she could hide it until they were sure of a way off the island, forgetting that by then, they would no longer be strangers to her.
It was too much.
She roughly yanked her arm free, more tears welling up as she heard Sawyer say her name. She wasn't going to let him charm his way out of it and as she turned away from him, he was close to wanting to take it all back. He hated the power she had on him and so did she. Her sobs were smothered by her own hands as she pressed them against her face, wishing that she could do the same with all of the whispers.
When the sound of shuffling of feet had faded, she waited a few more minutes, wanting to make sure that everyone was gone before she turned back around, especially Sawyer, although she had no clue that he was close by when she fell to her knees and started to reach for the things he had so aimlessly scattered about.
x-x-x
Sawyer waited until dusk before he headed over to her tent, finding her tucked away in one of its corners. ''Is this seat taken?'' She looked up at him for a moment, but looked away just as quickly. He sighed while dropping himself down in front of her. ''Look, Freckles, if you still want the spot on the raft-''
''I had it coming, didn't I?'' she naively asked. Kate's eyes restlessly darted back over to him. ''That's why you did it, right? I pushed you too far?'' She paused, expecting a comeback when he didn't say a thing. ''You didn't know what to do so you decided to use my secrets against me?'' she continued her questioning.
He bowed his head and lowered his gaze, her patience tested, although her tone of voice was dangerously calm. ''Why? I kept yours,'' she reminded him soflty and gently.
He tilted his head back up, reading her statement as a threat. ''Kate,'' he said, his voice raw and eyes stormy as memories emerged.
She shook her head, responding to his underlying question. ''Don't worry, I'll keep your secret. I'm not like you.''
He didn't disagree with her, though she couldn't completely deny that they had their similarities, but at the same time she was right, she wasn't anything like him. She was probably more like Jack to begin with.
''It was supposed to be my only chance to get away,'' she told him, getting his attention. ''I won't be able to run if we're rescued, there's no place to go, but on the raft...'' She sighed. ''I would have still had a chance.'' She sought him out with her eyes. ''I'm going to go to jail, Sawyer, and I don't want to.''
The look on her face was sad and he felt sorry for her. There was no doubt in his mind that she was capable of fending for herself, but at the same time he knew that jail would take its toll on her. Locked up in a room with nothing to do would only leave her with sleepless nights. She was a strong person, but eventually the guilt would overthrow her. He looked at her, knowing how easy it would have been if he could just leave her to her fate. He had done it before. His features sharpened at the thought.
Kate noticed and took it the wrong way. ''Are you going to use that against me, too?''
''Now, hold up,'' he began, offended by her assumption, ''you're making me out to be a monster.''
''Aren't you?'' Like a child she was playing a game, taunting him.
Affected he slung out his arm and snatched hers, his fingers digging into her skin as he angrily pulled her closer. She winced. ''You being a fugitive says something about you, too, sweetheart, killing people in cold blood and all.''
Tears sprung to her eyes at his words and she quickly looked away. He opened his mouth, desperately wanting to apologize for the state he had brought her in, but was unable to find the right words, though he doubted that there were any. Abruptly he tugged at her arm and brought his lips up to her forehead.
''Sawyer,'' she said, not comfortable with how he decided to make it up to her.
He didn't listen and lowered his lips down to her cheeks, kissing her tears away. For a second she allowed herself to be caught up in the moment, but as he pushed his lips against her mouth, she roughly shoved him out of her way.
''What the-''
''Just because I'm vulnerable doesn't mean you can take advantage of me.''
''Advantage, Freckles! I was-''
She cut him off once more. ''I know what you're like, Sawyer.''
He looked away, licking his lips. ''Maybe you shouldn't be so quick in labeling me, sweetheart. I'm as good of a man as my life allows me to be.''
Just like that her perception of him changed; it was all in the offensive way of speaking. ''Sawyer, I,'' she tried, though it was already too late; he was putting his guard back up.
''Save the apology.'' His eyes turned to narrow slits. ''With you running from hot to cold all the time, who knows how much it's worth anyway.'' He got up and murmured an apology before leaving the tent.
x-x-x
Early the next morning, Sawyer was missing as the raft was prepared on the beach and Kate was the one who bothered to go up to his tent. ''Sawyer!'' she made her presence known before entering. ''I can't believe you would oversleep on a day... what's wrong?'' she inquired when she found him lying on his bed.
''I'm sick.''
She crossed her arms. ''You are not sick, Sawyer.''
''Oh, so now you're going to make an issue out of my health, too?''
Rolling her eyes she walked over to where he lay and placed a hand on his forehead. ''You're temperature's normal.''
''Well, I feel sick.''
''What about the raft?'' She took a step back to look at him.
''The raft,'' he repeated thoughtfully. ''Hmm, well I hadn't really thought about that, but it looks like someone will have to take my spot. Damn.''
Kate smiled. ''I'm not taking your spot.''
He sighed. ''Should've figured.''
''Nice try.'' She laughed. ''Come on, they're waiting for you.'' She waited for him to get up, but didn't get out of his way when he did. ''Before you go,'' she stopped him from passing her. ''I just wanted to apologize.''
''About damn time,'' he replied.
''We were both out of line,'' she finished with her head down, though he tipped it back up with the tips of his fingers. He looked at her. ''I ain't kidding, you know... If you still want-''
She shook her head. ''I can't, but thank you.'' She got up on her tip-toes and hugged him, smiling as he gingerly did the same. ''Don't forget about me.''
Sawyer chuckled ''Freckles, there ain't no chance in hell.''
Please review? (: What can I say, I'm having a bad day, one that has been going on for two weeks now, so now is a good chance to tear me down.
