"What drink would you like with that?" the girl with bleach blonde hair that was pulled back tightly into a pony tail asked me. "Um, coke please" I said. "Okay, I'll bring your order over to your table when it's ready" she replied with a fake smile, that she flashed at Ray, Bob and Mikey only moments before. I walked back over to my friends and brother, and slumped into the empty seat next to Ray. "Guys, did you watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre last night?" Ray asked us all. We all replied with "Yes Ray, of course we did" and I added on a "It's one of the best movies of all time" at the end. "Oh man, the bit where Leatherface stabs the chainsaw through that guy, it's just the best!" Ray said, laughing as he dipped a fry in his ketchup. "Your so weird Ray" Bob replied, taking a bite out of his cheeseburger. Mikey just laughed as he sipped from his cup of coke zero. "Mikey, you really need to eat more than just toast" I said, saying what mum had said earlier. "Don't quote mom, Gee" Mikey said, sending me a jokey death glare. I just smiled in return, and then my tray of a cheeseburger, fries and coke was placed infront of me. "Thanks" I muttered as I took a huge bite out of my burger, savouring the beautiful taste in my mouth before swallowing it. Then, the best moment of my life happened.
A short guy of about Mikeys age walked in through the doors, followed by his mum. He walked lazily to the counter, his tight jeans clinging to his small, skinny legs making his steps seem huge, when, in reality, they weren't that big. He was wearing a baggy black jumper and a black t-shirt with an image of Jack Skelington from The Nightmare Before Christmas smiling on the front. They walked over in our direction and sat on the table next to us, and I looked over at him, taking in all his beauty. He had pale skin that iluminated his greeny-hazel eyes. He had a small black lip ring clinging to his chiseled lips, a small nose ring in his perfect nose. He had a small black mow-hawke with blonde shaved sides. "Hey Frank" Mikey called. "Hey Mikey" he said back, looking back down at the grey table. His name was Frank. That name seemed to suit him perfectly. His voice was soft, but slightly harsh at the same time. "Gerard, can you stop staring at my friend please? It's creeping me out" Mikey said, looking at me like I was crazy. I mean, I wasn't exactly sane, but who is? "Sorry Mikes" I said, and took another bite of my food. So his name was Frank. And since when was Mikey friends with him? I guess Mikey could see the confused look on my face, because he then said "He moved here about a week ago. Surely you've seen him before, he's been round nearly everyday". Oh, so he's been around to our house. How come I've never seen him before? Probably because I spend every god forsaken hour in my basement bedroom, that I loved with all my heart. "Oh" was all I could reply with. There was kind of an awkward silence clinging to the air, after Mikey and Frank had there little 'hey' thing. "So, let me break this awkward silence.." I began, not knowing what else to say. My voice made Frank glance over, his eyes quickly linking with mine and then fluttering away again. And just that two second look exchange thing, made my heart skip a beat.
Frank whispered something to his mum, and then slipped efortlessly into the seat next to Mikey. "Hi, I'm Frank" he said with a beautiful smile, giving everyone a handshake. His skin was softer then the softest paint brush tip I've ever felt in my life, it was also the softest skin I've ever felt. "So, which one of you is Gerard?" he asked, but he looked straight at me, still with that beautiful smile stretched on his god like face. "Um, I am" I muttered, looking at him, then back down at my food, which I really didn't want to digest anymore. "Sweet, nice to meet you man. Mikeys told me so much about you!" he said, and I shot a look at Mikey, who was just there all smug. "Uh-huh" I said, nodding slightly and looking out the window. "He said your a really good artist" Frank carried on, even though I really didn't want to talk about me, but more about him. His voice kinda swallows you up, and cradles you gently. "Mmm" I replied, nodding slightly again. "He is!" Ray exclaimed, knocking my arm. "He totally is" Bob chipped in. Mikey just nodded, still looking smug. "He also said that you hardly ever eat, and pretty much live off coffee and cigarettes, and always stay in the basement" Frank said, looking up at the ceiling. "That last bits true" I said, getting up, throwing my food in the bin, and sitting back down, quietly slurping from my cup. "Seriously though Gee, you, like, eat less then Mikey" Bob said, shoving the rest of his burger into his mouth. "Yeah Gee, have my fries" Ray said, sliding them over to me. I declined and placed them back on his tray. "Whatever man" Ray said, eating the rest of them. "So Frank, do you wanna hang out with us today? If that's okay with you guys" Mikey said, speaking for the first time since Frank came over to us. "Yeah, sure" Frank said, smiling at me then turning to his mum to ask us. "Yes, but be back at six, and look after him boys" Franks mum said, placing some money on the table and walked out. "So, what are we gonna do?" Frank asked, looking at us all. "Smoke" I replied, reaching into my pocket for a packet of straights, and getting up. "Anyone else?" I asked, tipping the rectangular box towards my friends and brother..and Frank, who was now apparently the only person I really wanted to hang out with. "Sure" Bob said, getting up and grabbing his jacket. His 'sure' was quickly followed by yesses from the other guys, including Frank. "I guess I'll pay!" Ray said sarcastically, and placed 25 bucks on the table.
We walked out of the door, and I handed the other four some straights, and then ignited my own placing the pack back in my pocket. Frank was the only one who said Thank You. And we stood outside Mcdonalds, smoking and thinking of something to do for the next two and a half hours until Frank had to be home. "We could go to the park?" Mikey suggested, after we'd all finished our fags. "Okay" Frank replied, and we trudged forward silently to the small park that was about ten minutes away.
When we eventually reached the park, I sulked off towards the bench, whilst the rest of them ran towards the swing, slide and seesaw. I pulled my knees up to my chest and linked my arms around them, keeping them there. I then buried my head into my knees. I felt like shit. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go home and paint. I wanted to go home and die. I was suddenly filled with frustration. Like, that kind of frustration you get when you want to cut really, really bad, but you can't. When you want to slice a small, sharp metal blade across your wrist, or arm, or anywhere on your body, but you just want to cut yourself open and bleed yourself into the black abyss of death. To let your blood flow freely out of your body, caking your body, rocking you into an endless, sweet, sadistic sleep. I guess there's something quite romantic about death, really. I didn't even notice that someone had walked over. Fuck, I hadn't even noticed that someone had sat down next to me and put one arm over my shoulders. I don't think I ever would of noticed, if they hadn't of spoken to me. "Are you okay?" Franks voice filled my ears. My head instantly shot up. Frank was asking if I was okay. Frank cared if I was okay. Fuck me. "Yeah, I'm okay" I said, resting my head back down in my knees. "Are you sure? You don't look okay?" he said, sounding more concerned by the second. "Yes! I'm o-fucking-kay!" I kind of shouted. "Sorry" I said, and I meant it. I didn't mean to snap at Frank, I really, really didn't. What made me feel even worse was that I felt him jump when I shouted, and he moved his arm off of me. "Seriously Frank, I'm sorry" I said, moving my head to look him in the eyes. Straight in his gorgeous, mind reading eyes. "It's okay" he said, looking at me, then moving his head away. "Wow" I said. Shit. I fucking hate word vomit. I accidentally said what I was thinking. "What?" Frank asked, looking back at me, confusion clear on his perfect face. "Nothing" I said, my cheeks flashing a violent red, warming my whole face. He moved in closer to me, and copied how I was sitting, but rested his head on his knees, facing me. "What did you mean when you said 'wow' Gee? Seriously, tell me, other wise it will bug me all day" he said. He had the tiniest double chin and it made him look so cute. "Just, er, um...You have nice eyes..?" I said, trying to say it in a way that wouldn't be weird, seeing as I only met him an hour ago. "Oh, thanks! Yours are nice too" he said, reaching an arm out and stroking around my eye, then placing his hand back around his legs. I didn't really know what to do. Should I return the gesture by stroking his face? Should I say something about it? Should I hug him? Or just wrap one arm around him? "Fuck" I heard Frank breathe aloud. "What?" I asked, his beautiful voice alerting me from my strange train of thought. "Oh, um nothing" he said, burying his face inbetween his legs. "Word vomit?" I asked, understanding completely. "Yeah" he replied, laughing slightly. "I get that all the time" I said. And I shut my eyes, resting my head against the metal chain-link fence behind us. Suddenly, I felt something warm, soft and slightly damp pressing against my lips. My eyes shot open, trying to see what was going on, and I was so happy and excited and confused and releaved and thankful for what was happening, that I squeaked slightly. Frank was kissing me. FRANK. My brothers friend who has been in this part of New Jersey for a week, was kissing ME. His friends older brother.
Eventually he pulled away, and smiled to himself. "Wow" it was his turn to say it. "I've been wanting to do that since I started school here" he said, looking at me with a loving smile on his face. Now what do I say? Should I say thank you? Or act like it never happened? What.. I don't actually know. I didn't know how to reply, so I just kissed him back, but only on his cheek, which made him blush. "Give me your phone" he said, and I handed it to him. He could ask for anything, and I would travel to..Mordor and back to try and get it for him, but my phone was in my pocket, so I wouldn't have to face the fire, or the long mission, or the orcs and Gollum...but whatever. I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my phone. I couldn't see what he was doing, so I just waited until he was done. "There, now you have my phone number. So whenever you feel like shit, text me or call me, and I'll answer. I'll be right here, if you ever want to see me!" he said, handing me phone back. He had put his number under the name 'Frankie'. "Okay, Frankie, thank you" I said, with a playful smile. "Well, seeing as your calling me Frankie, I'm gonna call you...Gee!" he said, with a proud smile on his angelic face. "You already did" I said with a wink. "Shut up, smartass" he said, playfully smacking me gently on the leg. So me and 'Frankie' just talked and watched Mikey, Ray and Bob piss about in the play area until Frank had to go home. "GUYS, I'M JUST GONNA WALK FRANK HOME. I'LL MEET YOU AT HOME MIKES" I called, they just stuck their thumbs up and carried on playing in the park. "So.." I said, and then Frank suddenly linked our hands together, and carried on walking like nothing had just happened. Okay, Gerard, calm down. You DON'T want to get a boner in skin tight black jeans, right in the middle of town. I kept reminding myself. "I live just down here" Frank said, pointing down a small lane with his free hand. "Okay" I said. We walked down the little path to Frank front door. He stood on tip toes and wrapped his arms around my neck, and gently planted a long kiss on my lips. We finally broke apart about a minute later. "Okay, I'll text you in abit Frankie, bye" I said, kissing him quickly on the lips and turning back down the path and walking down the path. I say walk, I kinda skipped/ran thing. I was so fucking happy. It felt like small butterflies were fluttering around inside my stomach, but they were little butterflies were Frank. That image in my mind made me laugh out loud to myself, causing an old lady across the street look at me, like I had an axe in my hand, or that I was some kind of child moslester. I just nodded lightly at her.
I reached the usual road that lead to my house, and ran down it. I also ran down the little path to my house, and then I ran into my front door. Yeah. I ran into my door. I'm so intelligent. I opened and was greeted by my mothers concerned face looking at me from the kitchen. "Gerard did you just..." she said. "Yeah mom, I ran into the door" I laughed. "Where's Mikey?" she said in a really worried tone. "He's at the park with Ray and Bob, he'll be back soon" I said, and quickly walked down the stairs that led to my dark room. The walls were faded grey, and the door was black. The windows were covered by a thick black curtain, stopping any light from wondering listlessly into my room. I decided to flick on the light bulb, because I didn't want to sit in darkness. I switched on my stereo and started listening to The Misfits. I flipped out my phone and jumped on my bed. I dialled Franks number. It rang a couple of times, then Frank finally answered. "Hey Frankie" I said, smiling down the phone. "Um, hello? Who is this?" he asked. "It's Gee?" I said, confused. "Oh right, hey Gee! I didn't have your number saved onto my phone" he laughed. "Yeah, I just thought I'd ring you so you could have my number" I said, laughing slightly. "Well, someone's in a good mood!" he said, and I could tell he was smiling. There was a kind of I-don't-know-what-to-say-but-I-don't-want-to-end-t he-conversation silence, then Frank said "So, what you up to?" "Oh, nothing, just in my room, you?"
"Just thinking about earlier, and smiling" "Good. Nice to know I'm such a bad kisser that I make you smile" I said sarcastically. "No! No, it's not because your a bad kisser, it's because it's a good memory to now have" he said. "Frank, I was being sarcastic" I said, laughing a bit more. "Oh, right..sorry"
"Why are you apologising?"
"Oh, um, sorry, I..I don't know..?"
"Fair enough" I said. "Um, so, I've got to go have tea, but I might come yours afterwards..Is that okay?"
"YES!..Er, I mean, yeah, sure, it's fine.."
"Okay, see you in abit Gee, love you" and I could hear him plant his hand on his mouth. Mainly because he did it too quickly and it made a smacking noise. Fuck. What do I reply? How do I reply to that? "Love you too.." I said, and, well, I think it might of been the truth. Shit, I think I love someone I've known for about four hours. Well, I guess it could be love at first sight? Oh, I don't know. And then the phone buzzed, apparently he hung up. Now I didn't know what to do. Should I tell mum? Or should I tidy my room? I lay on my bed not really knowing what to do for a good half an hour. And all too soon, there was a knocking on my door. "Come in" I yelled, not bothering to get up and in walked Frank. "I bought you some of my mums pasta bake, you really need to eat Gee" Frank said, with a concerned look on his face, handing me the bowl of food, that was still warm. I actually love Pasta Bake, but I really didn't want to eat. I just stared at the bowl. "Gee, eat it" Frank said, handing me a fork. So I put a couple of pieces of pasta onto the end of the fork and popped it in my mouth. "This is really good" I said, putting a few more pieces in my mouth then putting it on my desk. Frank instantly moved closer to me, putting his arms around me and resting our foreheads together. I moved my head a little bit, so our lips crushed together. I could feel Franks tongue running along my lips, asking for permission to enter my mouth. I parted my lips, letting his tongue explore my mouth, taking in every inch of my mouth and memorising it. When he was done, he pulled away. "So, what is this?" I asked. "Whats what?" Frank replied, looking at me with those breath taking hazel eyes. "This" I said, gesturing my hands towards him and me. "Well, it's whatever you want it to be" he said, moving himself and sitting on my lap. "I don't really know what I want it to be" I said, kissing him gently on the blonde shaved side of his head. "A friendship? A realationship? It's really up to you..But I'd prefer the second one" he said, burying his face into the crook of my neck. "I think I'd prefer that too" I said, wrapping my arms around him.
We watched a couple of movies, ate some popcorn, drank alot of coffee and smoked alot of cigarettes, right up until Frank went home. We stood in my doorway for about five minutes, sharing a massive, passionate kiss. "I love you Gerard, byee!" Frank said, and skipped off in a very cute manner. I disappered back into my room, and did a little dance jump thing. FRANK IERO IS MY BOYFRIEND! FRANK FUCKING IERO. I've known him a day, and we're already saying I love you to eachother. He was really beautiful. Like, stunning. I would end my days with him in a hail of bullets. I was so happy, I decided to write a song. It goes:
'Move your body when the sunlight dies, Everybody hide your body from the Scarecrow, everybody hide.
Make a wish when your childhood dies, Hear the knock, knock, knock when she cries,
We're all alone tonight.
Hold your breath when the black bird flies,
Count to 17 and close your eyes,
I'll keep you safe inside.
He burns,
My skin,
Never matter 'bout the shape I'm in,
I'll keep you safe tonight.
Move your body when the sunlight dies, Everybody hide your body from the Scarecrow,
Everybody hide.
Move your body when the sunlight dies, Everybody hide your body from the Scarecrow,
Everybody hide.
Blow a kiss at the methane skies, See the rust through your playgroud eyes,
We're all in love tonight.
Leave a dream where the fallout lies,
Watch it grow as the tearstain dries,
To keep you safe tonight.
He burns, My skin,
Never matter 'bout the shape I'm in,
I'll keep you safe tonight.
Move your body when the sunlight dies,
Everybody hide your body from the Scarecrow, Everybody hide.
Move your body when the sunlight dies,
Everybody hide your body from the Scarecrow,
Everybody hide.
Love, love, love wont stop this bomb,
Bomb, bomb, love wont stop this bomb,
Bomb, bomb, love wont stop this bomb.
Run,
Run,
Bunny, run.
Run,
Run,
Bunny, run.
Move your body when the sunlight dies,
Everybody hide your body from the Scarecrow,
Everybody hide.
Move your body when the sunlight dies,
Everybody hide your body from the Scarecrow,
Everybody hide.'
I was actually quite proud of my little song. I decided to call 'Scarecrow'. I thought that it was exactly how I felt about Frank. Especially the 'He burns my skin, never matter 'bout the shape I'm in, I'll keep you safe tonight' because I would. If I was dieing, I would try my best to look after Frank. Also the 'we're all in love tonight' bit, because me and Frank are. We are in love tonight. And hopefully for the rest of the nights in our lives. And I guess that the rest of the song is how I felt before I met Frank, also how I feel right now, because I'm not with him. I felt the suicidal thoughts slowly try and creep back into my brain, trying to bring me down, but I pushed them away. And when they just got harder to get rid of, I picked up a paint brush and dipped it in the black paint, and began painting. I would normally draw really weird, twisted and disgusting things, but today was different. I painted a broken doll, with half her face missing, but she applying make-up onto the half of her face that was still there. I added on another doll, but he was carrying the other half of her face, and was handing it to her. In my head it kind of symbolised me and Frank (apart from the fact that it was a guy and a girl doll). Mainly because before Frank happily marched into my ugly life, I felt broken all the time. I felt empty inside and worthless on the outside. It felt like my soul had wondered out of my defeated body. And now I have Frank, it makes me feel like his handing life back to me, like he's giving my a chance..Like he's fixing me. He makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside..He makes me feel alive, something that I haven't felt since I was a toddler, I guess. Mikeys a good brother, he tries his hardest to make me smile, and he does, he just doesn't make me feel as good as Frank makes me feel. Franks giving me a second chance with life, when everyone else gave up on me. Suddenly, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Frank had texted me. A little squeak escaped my mouth. I opened the text. "Hey beautiful, I really wish I didn't have to leave earlier, I wanted to stay with you all night:'( xo" was what it said. Oh my god, he called me beautiful. Oh my god, he wanted to stay all night with me. I couldn't think of anything to say at all. "Hello gorgeous" I decided to start the text with. "If I could be with you tonight, I would sing you to sleep, never let them take the light behind your eyes:') xo" I finally settled on. I honestly don't know where the 'If I could be with you tonight' bit came from, but it sounded pretty awesome, so I decided to write it down. I clicked send and held my phone in my hands, waiting for a reply. My phone buzzed again, causing me to let out another squeak. Why do I keep squeaking? That isn't normal... "Awh, that's so sweet Gee! Did you get that from a song or did you make it up? Oh, and by the way, I'm really not gorgeous, but thank you anyway:')xox" Frank really doesn't think he's gorgeous? Seriously, he has to know how perfect he is right? "Um, are you stupid? Yes, you are gorgeous! And I just made it up...You truly are breath taking Frankie:3xox" I typed back and sent it. It took him a little longer to reply, but it still made me smile a huge, face-aching smile. "Gee, that's so cute! I'm actually cryingD: And I really can't see it...Sorry.. Oh, mom wants to know if you finished the pasta thing?:')xoxo" I only just realised, but he keeps adding an extra 'x' or 'o' on the end everytime. And I actually had eaten it, and he was crying? Well fuck, I didn't mean to make him cry. Now I feel bad. "Frank, I'm really sorry for making you cry, please stop! Your smile is perfect! And you should see it! It's hard to miss if your beautiful... And yeah, I did eat it:D!xoxo" That eased my concious a little..Did he mean it was so cute that it made him cry? Or did it offend him so much it made him cry..Fuck...I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so fucking guilty. "No, its not anything bad that made me cry, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me for, like, ever! And good, I'll tell mom;)xoxox" Again, adding an extra letter on the end. And really? No-one's told him his beautiful before? Well, everyone else is a dumb fuck then. "Oh, so I didn't offend you? And okay:3. Frankie, I really wanna seeyouD': xoxoxo" Ha, beat him to the extra letter! He randomly started calling me. "Hello Frankie" I said, with a smile still planted on my face. "Hey Gee!" he sounded really excited.. Why, it's only me? And I'm not going anywhere, not now that I've got him. "So, how come you rang me?"
"Oh, I just wanted to ask you something, but I couldn't be bothered to type it" he said, and I could tell he was smiling. Well, at least his not crying. "Yeah, what did you want to ask me?"
"Um, do you like Green Day?" really? He's asking me that? Obviously, Green days fucking amazing. "Well, obviously" I said. "OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMY.." then there was a loud thud. "Ow, I just fell off of my bed, that's how I excited you just made me" he laughed. "Sorry, but who doesn't like Green Day? Don't wanna be an American Idiot, one nation controlled by the media..They're fucking kick-ass!" I said, silently head banging to American Idiot, which I decided to put on. "Oh my god yes! Are you listening to them now?" he sounded really frantic. "Yeah, it's a mixtape of all their songs" I said, just as it changed to Good Ridence (Time of your Life). "Oh man, this song makes me cry" I said, and I could feel the feel the lump slowly edge it's way up my throat, just as Billy says 'It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life'. "Awh, baby, don't cryyyyyyyy! What song is it?" he asked. "Good Ridence" I said, my voice breaking and tears rolling down my cheeks. "Fuck. That's it, I'm coming over...If that's okay?" he asked. "Yeah, it's fine..I'm in the basement, and there's like a side door thing" I said, wiping my cheeks. "Okay, I'll text you when I'm out the front..I love you Gee" he said, his voice sounding hopeful. Seriously? Does he think I'm not gonna say it back or something? Well fuck, he should know that I would say it back by now. "I love you too, Frankie" I said, and he pressed the end call button.
He was round in exactly 6 minutes 9 seconds. I would know, I watched the clock until he text me. I quietly opened the little door on the side of my bed room, and walked round to the front. "Frankie, round here!" I called. He quickly turned his head and ran towards me, jumping on me nd wrapping his legs around me. "Hey" he said, kissing me on the forehead, then getting off me. I led him back round to my room, and shut the door silently. He quickly ran over to my stereo and restarted Good Ridence. My eyes instantly started dripping with my salty, warm tears. Frank pulled me down onto my bed and wrapped his arms around me protectively. "It's okay Gee, it's just a sad song...Everyone has certain songs that make them cry" he said, kissing me on the top of my head. "I know, I-I-I just f-f-feel stu-u-upid for c-c-crying" I stuttered, burying my face into the nape of his neck. "Awh, there's no need to feel stupid for crying bubba, you should see ME when I cry then" he said, tipping my chin up gently and smiling lovingly at me. I smiled back. "I really do love you Gee" he said, his face suddenly going all serious. "I really do love you too Frankie..OH! I nearly forgot, I wrote a song for you" I said, getting up and handing him 'S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W'. He read every word slowly, taking in every single letter by its self. "Awh, Gee baby! This is so cute!" he said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back down on the bed, landing on top of him. The mixtape was on track four now, which was 'Basketcase'. "OH MY ACTUAL FUCK I LOVE THIS SONG!" Frank shouted, then quickly put his hand over his mouth when my mom shouted down the stairs "Gerard, keep the noise down please, honey" and disappearing back up to her bedroom. Me and Frank looked at eachother, and burst out into fits of laughter. And then he reached his hand up to my face and wiped away the drying tear stains. "So, how long have you liked Green Day?" I decided to ask Frank. "Oh, ages. I only know how to play guitar because I copied how Billie Joe does it" he said, with a stupid proud smile on his face. "Sweet! I can't play guitar to save my life" I said, laughing slightly at the end. "I bet that isn't true!" Frank said, hitting my arm in a playful way. Shit. I comepletely forgot about the doll painting. Shit. It's right on my desk.. I just have to stop Frank looking at it. "Hey, whats this?" Frank said leaning over and grabbing the painting. For. Fucks. Sake. "Oh, it's just this stupid thing I did. It's rubbish" I said, trying to take it off of him. "No it's not Gerard! This is so good! It's looks truly real" he said, looking at me and the painting with alomst what looked like disbelief. "Meh, I've done better.. Wanna watch a movie?" I asked, getting up and looking through my DVD collection. "Yeah, sure! What do you have?" he asked, lying down on my bed. "Er, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, Back To The Future, Corpse Bride..." "Okay, um... how about... Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice and Corpse Bride?" he said, looking at me hopefully. "Awh, poor Back To The Future..Okay" I said, pulling those four and placing Chainsaw Massacre in the DVD player, and setting the rest on my desk. I squirmed under the covers with Frank until we were in a comfy position. He had his head resting against my chest, and I had my arms wrapped around his neck.
It was easy to tell when he got scared, because he would bring one, or both, of his hands up to squeeze mine. "You hungry Frankie?" I asked, about thirty minutes into the film. "Um, yeah" he said with a smile. "Okay, I'll go get some food" I said, staniding up and suddenly feeling extremely cold and lonely. "Okay, but be right back!" he said. I wondered into the kitchen, and grabbed a bag and filled it up with bags of popcorn, sweets, chocolate, crisps and energy drink and a few cartons of Ribena. I also grabbed some chocolate biscuits, and normal biscuits just in case Frank doesn't like chocolate biscuits, and made us some coffee. I drained one cup whilst I was still up there, and then poured myself another one, then walked back down to my basement where my best friend/perfect, dream boyfriend was waiting for me. I heard footsteps coming down the main stairway and I bolted to my basement, shutting the door as quietly as possible. "Oh, you better eat something! I swear to god Way!" he said, with a mock angry face on, which pretty much melted into a beautiful smile as soon as I placed the bag on the bed. "I made you a coffee" I said, handing him the cup, and then I quickly downed mine. He looked at me with a 'da fuck?' face, but then drained his own. "I got shit loads of food" I said, rifiling through the bag. "What did you get sweetie?" he asked looking at me then back at the bag. "Loads." I said, and tipped the bag upside down, covering my bed in wave of calories. "Oh my god popcorn! There's some much!" he said, and opened a bag of popcorn and shoved half of it into his mouth. I just stared at it all, suddenly losing my apitite. "Gee, you gotta eat something baby" he said, handing me a kernel of popcorn. I held it in my hand for abit, then popped it into my mouth. "There you go!" he said, looking very proud of me. I just sent him a cheesy smile. Out of nowhere a scream left the TV, causing me and Frank to jump, which then resulted with me on the floor. "Ow" I said, getting back up and sitting down again. "Awh, are you okay bubba?" Frankie asked me, rubbing my arm. "Yeah" I said, picking up a packet of stawberry shoe laces. "These are the best things ever made" I said, nibbling on one lace. Frank just smiled at me. I just hoped this wasn't a dream. I had the perfect guy, I randomly gained my power of eating, I was smiling and laughing, I felt alive. It's too good to be true. Something bad has to happen... Fuck. I know what it is. School on Monday. And it's Saturday. Well, technically it's Sunday, cause it's 1am..But whatever. The word "Fuck" accidently left my mouth. "Whats wrong bubba?" Frank asked, rubbing my arm and taking a lace from the packet. "It's just...School tomorrow..." I said, looking sad. "Awh, it's okay! I'll be there" he said, smiling at me. "No, you wont! We're in different years, so different lessons!" I said, feeling my eyes build with tears again. "No, Mr smartypants! Actually, I'm in your year...And your lessons? Have you never seen me before?" He said, looking slightly sadened. "No, I don't pay attention in lessons" I said, feeling a bit better. "Come to think of it, your eyes do look pretty vacant and stained in lesson time" Frank said, pulling me into a hug and sitting on my lap. He whispered "I love you" into my ear, and started nibbling on it, and running one hand through my hair, whilst rubbing the other one on my back. A slight moan left lips, causing Frank to smile, and start kissing me. "Frankie, we-we've been together for life a-oh-day now, and my mums upstairs-mm-with my dad..Oh god" I said into his mouth. "Be quiet then" he said with a cheeky smile and pulled off my shirt, kissing down my scarred stomach. He suddenly stopped. "Gee, and these scars?" he said sitting back and staring at my chest and belly. "Um, yeah" I said, turning red again..There was a reason I hadn't taken my long sleeve shirt off. "From..Self harm?" he said again, placing his hand over them and running his fingers over them. "Er, yeah" I said, moving my arms out of his view. "Have you done it since..or did you do anymore?" he asked, moving his eyes off of my body to look at me in the eyes, and I could see small tears twinkling about in them. "Um, no" I said, but the 'no' came out a bit to high-picthed and he could tell I was lying. "Gee, let me see your arms." he said, but it wasn't really a choice. "Um, why? There's nothing there" I couldn't hold my gaze, I couldn't lie directly to him. "Gerard Way, let me see your fucking arms." he said, and pulled them out to face him. "Oh god" he whispered, looking upset, disgusted, furious, and a thousand other feelings all at once. "Gee, why?" he said, and he didn't even care that the tears had started rolling on his cheeks. A thing that made it weird/worse was 'Extrodinary Girl' came on. "Oh, just people at school, they say shit, but they don't really realise how much it actually hurts" I said, recalling my last few years of school. "I know, I saw what happened on Thursday" he said, his face slowly turning into one expression..anger. I'd completely forgotten about what happened on Thursday. "Yeah, that sucked" I said, slowly recalling it. "No, Gerard. It doesn't suck. It's fucking bullshit! What sucks is when a seagull steals your ice cream at the beach or some shit. Being cornered into the fucking bins and having insults thrown at you until you started crying, is fucking bullshit. Don't you remember what happened afterwards? The things they said to you actually made you throw up. And I heard you say to Mikey that what they said was so unbelievably true, it made you feel sick. What they said isn't even true! Your not ugly, fat, worthless..You WONT die alone, you shouldn't kill yourself. You shouldn't diet, because there's hardly anything to you anyway...Just, Urgh! I want to fucking kill them Gee!" he said, the tears still tumbling down his cheeks, and mine starting to fill with them. "The things they say to me are true though.." I said, trying to stop myself from crying, but I couldn't help a few tears falling down my cheeks. "They aren't!" Frank argued. Okay, I'm not gonna lie. It was starting to piss me off that Frank was telling what I'm not, when I know that those insults aren't insults, but the fucking truth. And this anger had to come out some way. "Frank, do you know why I don't have a mirror in my room? Because whenever I see my reflection, I want to fucking puke. Do you know why I never eat? Because I feel fat and ugly. Do you know why I wear make-up? Because, again, I FEEL UGLY. I am ugly! I always stay down in this room because I feel like I don't fit in with the rest of my family. I feel like I annoy them when I'm around. I'm fucking WORTHLESS. No-one wants me, everyone's a-fucking-gainst me. My only friends are Mikey, Bob and Ray, and one of those three are my fucking brother! I just..You don't understand how much I HATE myself" I said, the anger slowly fading, but guilt was replacing it. Franks face dropped, and he couldn't bring himself to look at me, the tears on his face falling quicker now. "You think your the only one who hates themselves? Your not. Do you know how it feels to be the shortest in the class, and the least athletic so no-one wants you on their teams? Or, how it feels to be genuinly despised by the rest of your family, apart from your grandfather who died a few months ago? To be rejected by every single person you've ever asked out, boy or girl. To find no where that you feel like you fit in? To feel fucking lost all of the time, to feel like you don't belong in your own body. And you just listed your friends right? Where the fuck was I in that list? I'm not your friend, am I not? I'm just your boyfriend? That makes no fucking sense. Gee, the word has fucking 'friend' in it!" he said, standing and waving his arms about. He was so cute when he was angry. I didn't know how to reply to that. I felt pretty much exactly the same...but, I couldn't bring my self to reply. "So, that's it, is it. Nothing to say to that?" Frank said. And I couldn't reply. All I did was pull us close to eachother and kiss him (oh, I still have my shirt off by the way.) The kiss was, at first, too full of anger at ourselves and eachother to be enjoyable, but then all that slowly eroded away, leaving the kiss passionate and amazing. Our cheeks still stained with tears, slowly rubbing against eachothers. We then pulled away, and just stared at eachother. "Oh" was all Frank said. "How do you do this Gerard?" Frank said, sounding angry again. "Um, sorry, what?" I asked, confused as fuck. "How the fuck can you make me feel alive after all these of being dead inside? How do you make my heart feel like it's actually beating, or that I actually do have a place in this world?" he said, the anger turning to confusion, then calming down to, I dunno, passion I guess. Oh, I know what it is, disbelief, that's it. "Because even though we're all outcasts in our own way, we all do belong in this world and we all fit in this world" I said, running my left hand down the side of his face. "Frankie, you make me feel the exact same way. And I haven't made you FEEL like that, I made you REALISE it. Because all your quirks and problems, even your depressions and failures, that's what makes you, you." I said, moving my hand away from his face, and smiling hopefully at him. Frank just started crying even more. I pulled him into a protective hug, and he buried his head into my chest. "I just want them to stop Gee" he said, still crying. I had no idea who the fuck he was on about, though. But I said: "I'll never let them hurt you, I promise."