It Will Rain
If you ever leave me baby.
Leave some morphine at my door.
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication.
To realize what we used to have
We don't have it anymore.
The low volume of the song set the melancholy mood for the couple as they cuddled in their bed that night, glowing in the after effects from a whole evening of passion. This would be their last night together for a long while, and neither one of them was looking forward to the separation. Not one bit.
"Babe, I don't want you to go..."
Jeff Hardy sighed quietly as he wrapped his arms tighter around the lithe blond man in his arms. He kissed those golden locks softly before resting his chin on top of the head on his chest. "I know, Addy, and I don't wanna go either, but it's time."
Adam Copeland snaked his arms around Jeff's waist tighter, his eyes clenching shut to hold in unshed tears from sparkling olive orbs. "It's not fair. It's too early for you to leave me..."
"I know, darlin'," came the southern drawled response, "but if they need me, it's my duty to go, you know that."
"I know that I know." Adam turned his head and rested his chin on Jeff's chest, opening his eyes to see sorrowed emerald ones staring back at him. "Doesn't mean I have to like it, Jeffro..."
Jeff chuckled and kissed the tip of Adam's nose. "I don't like having to leave this early either, but it's gotta be done. The sooner I leave, the sooner I can come back home."
"I just don't know what I'm gunna do everyday when I come home and you're not here. It's like you'll be..." Adam shook his head and buried his face in Jeff's chest, small tears making their way down his eyes and leaving small wet spots on the younger man's chest.
The rainbow haired man's face twisted with concern as he let the older blond shed some tears against his chest. He reached a hand up to pet Adam's hair soothingly, hoping his baby would feel better after this.
"Jeff I'm gunna feel like you're really gone. Wh-What if I can't stand this feeling and I feel like I'm going crazy waiting for you to come back and then the guy comes to the door telling me that you're dead and I actually do go crazy..."
"Addy, baby, take a breather and stop talking so fast," Jeff murmured in his love's ear.
Adam took a deep breath before sitting himself up, looking down at his younger boyfriend. "I just... Don't know if I can take coming home to an empty house everyday, not knowing if you'll ever come back..."
There's no religion that could save me.
No matter how long my knees are on the floor.
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm making.
To keep you by my side,
To keep you from walking out the door.
Jeff ran a hand through his loose black/blond/purple hair before sitting himself up also, throwing the covers off of his body. "C'mon sugar, let's get a shower and enjoy the rest of our night together. Sound good?" he asked, rubbing Adam's bare back soothingly.
The older blond nodded a bit, brushing some of his hair behind his ear and letting the rest fall in his face. He wanted to be strong for Jeff on his last night here, but he couldn't help but shed a few tears. His love, his rock, his foundation... The other half of his soul was going away to war, and he knew he would go crazy without his insane rainbow brite there with him.
Sensing Adam's spacing out, Jeff immediately stood up from the bed, walking around to the other side and scooping his naked Addy into his arms. The blond was a few inches taller than Jeff, but he had recently lost a significant amount of weight due to lack of interest in food. Jeff didn't know why, and Adam wouldn't tell him. He had tried to ask Adam about it multiple times, but every time he'd bring it up, the blond would just change the subject or shrug. So, he just let it go.
"Sweetheart, I'll be fine," he whispered into Adam's ear. "Let's just take a nice, hot shower and maybe have more sex."
Adam giggled softly and let his forehead fall into the crook of Jeff's neck. "You're such a horny bastard, and my ass is sore, babe."
"Then that's my little present to you before I go." He kissed Adam's nose, carrying the older man into the bathroom and setting him down on the sink counter. He turned the water on in the tub and made sure it was warm before turning around and smirking at Adam, picking up the blond and carrying him into the shower. They were already naked, so that saved about five minutes of discarding and possibly ruining clothes.
"I don't wanna let you go, Jeffy."
Jeff smiled widely and opted to sit down in the tub, holding Adam to his chest and letting the water from the shower head rain down over their bare, curled up forms. "Well good, because I'm never gunna let you go, Addy. Even if you try to leave, you're mine."
To some people a statement like that would sound controlling and somewhat dangerous, but between Jeff and Adam, those words held a special meaning, and Adam absolutely adored Jeff's possessive side. That's the part he fell in love with. He knew Jeff would go to any lengths for him, just like he in turn would do for his rainbow brite.
Adam let the back of his head fall to rest on Jeff's chest, his eyes closing. "All yours, Jeff. I'll always be yours, as long as I'm alive."
"And what if war takes me from you, Addy?" He hated to ask, but he needed to know before he left. He needed to be sure that his baby would be okay if anything were to happen.
But, maybe this was something that he could have trusted his blond Canadian on.
Adam immediately tensed and cleared his throat, the sniffling that followed afterwards instantly causing Jeff to regret asking the question. Dammit, why did he have to mess everything up?
"W-Well, then I'd... I..." Adam whimpered and brought his knees to his chest, leaning against Jeff as much as physically possible. "Jeff don't go... Don't leave me... I don't want you to die. I don't want to wake up every morning alone knowing that you wouldn't be coming back to me... I-I wouldn't be able to stand looking at that empty spot next to me on our bed..."
Jeff inhaled deeply and tightened his arms around Adam's skinny form, knowing exactly what the blond meant. "Addy, please don't. Promise me you won't do that. Please please please promise me you won't-"
"Jeffro..." The voice was so weak that Jeff felt his heart was literally breaking into pieces. "You know I can't promise... You're my life, the other half of my soul..."
Jeff wanted to say something, but as soon as he felt the form in his arms begin to shake with silent sobs, he shut his mouth. He kissed those soft sun kissed waves of hair on top of his love's head, hoping that getting all the crying out would help Adam drift off into a peaceful slumber soon.
'Cause there'll be no sunlight.
If I lose you baby.
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you baby.
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same.
If you walk away,
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain, rain...
When Adam opened his eyes the next morning, he immediately wished he hadn't. The realization of what day it was and how much of a headache he had flooded his body with full force. He let out a long, labored breath as he got out of bed and stood up, suddenly aware that he didn't remember getting out of the shower and into bed last night. He looked down and noticed that he had a pair of plaid pajama pants and one of Jeff's huge sweatshirts on. Well, as of late, anything would look huge on his lithe form.
Adam grinned and blushed faintly. He must have fallen asleep in the shower last night. He ran a hand through his hair before opening the door and stepping into the hallway. He reached the top of the stairs and paused, listening to the sounds of the morning. The last normal one either of them would be having for a while. He chuckled quietly and felt conflicting tears reaching his eyes as he heard the sounds of Jeff in the kitchen, pots and pans clanging while his boyfriend hummed a random tune. God, how he'd miss this.
After about five minutes of just standing at the top of the stairs and listening to those comforting sounds contently, Adam took a deep breath and wiped away some lingering tears before making his way downstairs, immediately heading to the kitchen.
The sight that met his eyes made him giggle.
Jeff's rainbow head and hips were swaying back and forth as he seemed to be cooking something on the stove. He must have had headphones in his ears because he didn't even acknowledge that he had heard the blond enter the kitchen, and his humming was a bit off key.
Adam sauntered over to Jeff and wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist, his chin taking its place on Jeff's shoulder. He pulled out one of the ear buds and kissed his boyfriend's cheek. "Good morning. Whatcha making?"
Jeff smirked and turned his head to capture Adam's lips in a quick kiss. "G'mornin' sunshine," he responded, his tired voice bringing out his southern drawl. "I decided to make a bigger breakfast today. That okay with you?"
Adam stiffened a bit, and he hoped that Jeff wouldn't notice. Despite his body feeling sick at the idea of anything big, he nodded anyway. He'd do anything Jeff wanted. "Of course that's okay. Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because you've barely been eating."
"...W-Well I've been trying to lose weight anyway-"
"You've lost nearly twenty pounds in the past month. You thought I wouldn't notice?" Jeff turned the stove off and spun around in Adam's arms, his concerned emerald eyes meeting distressed olive eyes, the latter pair quickly dropping to the floor as Jeff wrapped his arms around Adam's thin waist. "Addy, talk to me, please. What's going on? Why won't you eat?"
Adam let his head fall to Jeff's shoulder. "I've just been feeling under the weather lately-"
"Lately? A month is a bit long to be feeling just 'under the weather.'"
"Can we not, Jeff? This is your last morning here-"
"And I want to make sure you're okay before I go," he whispered, kissing the top of Adam's head. "Baby please, I need to make sure you're going to be alright."
He heard a deep breath before hearing a low, shaky response from his blond. "I've been sick, but I haven't had time to go to the see a doctor. Ya know, between teaching Literature for eight hours and then grading papers for the rest of day, that doesn't leave much time for keeping up with your own health..."
Jeff sighed and stroked Adam's hair softly. He knew Addy loved his job and loved the kids, but he knew that his boyfriend also put his job before his personal life more often than none, which concerned him greatly.
But, he also knew when Adam wasn't telling the whole truth. "How sick, sweetie?"
"...I started waking up feeling nauseous a couple of months ago. At first I thought it was just something I ate, and that's why I've stopped eating. But when I started getting sick at work too... I just didn't want you to worry-"
"Adam Joseph Copeland, there's something you're not telling me." Jeff lifted Adam's face, noticing for the first time just how tired and frail the blond looked. "Please darlin', I need you to tell me."
"I can't," Adam whimpered. "I just can't... It'll make the fact that you're leaving so much harder and if I say it out loud, the possibility might become reality."
"What will become reality? Sweetie, you're not making much sense.."
"J-Just something that Jay mentioned to me."
"What did he say?"
Adam shook his head and glanced at the clock on the microwave over Jeff's shoulder. "We need to get you to the base, soldier," he whispered. "...I'll tell you before you go..."
That was as close to an answer as Jeff was going to get for now, so he just nodded and gave Adam a quick kiss on the lips before leaving the kitchen to get dressed, all thoughts of breakfast quickly forgotten for the both of them.
To say the majority of the drive to the base was quiet would have been an understatement. The silence was so deafening that after a while, Jeff had to turn on the radio just to keep from going crazy. He would occasionally glance at Adam over in the driver's seat. He hadn't wanted the blond to drive, but the man insisted. He noticed that Adam would occasionally grip the steering wheel so hard the the hands holding the contraption turned ghostly white.
"Addy, talk to me," Jeff finally said, reaching over and gently placing his hand on top of Adam's. "What's bothering you, baby? Please don't make me worry more than I already am..."
He felt Adam tense considerably before hearing a reply. "I'll be fine Jeff, really."
"I don't want an answer like that when I know it's not true."
Adam sighed and ran a hand through his hair before turning into the base, somewhat relieved that they had arrived, but that quickly dissipated when he saw the look on Jeff's face as he parked the car. The look in his love's eyes was beyond any kind of sadness he'd seen from the younger man in the many years they'd known each other. They were filled with heartbreak, worry, and apprehension, which scared the living daylights out of Adam. He'd never actually seen apprehension in the eyes of his daredevil boyfriend, and now that he had, he wished he had time to make it go away. To banish it from the face of existence.
But, they had arrived, and it was time for final goodbyes.
Adam turned off the car and was the first to get out, quickly opening the trunk and grabbing Jeff's bags, despite the younger man's protests as he followed Adam out of the car.
"Addy, c'mon, I can get my own things. You shouldn't be doing heavy lifting anyway-"
"I've got it Jeff..."
Jeff paused and sent Adam a wary glance at the hint of shakiness in the older man's voice. He noticed that Adam was hiding his face behind his golden hair as he grabbed Jeff's bags.
"It's not big deal, I can still do things for you, you know..."
Jeff reached up a hand and rubbed his Addy's back soothingly. "Okay baby. I know you can. Let's go get me all ready to go."
"I don't want to," came the raspy reply.
Jeff sighed and ran a hand through Adam's soft hair. "... I know, darlin', but the sooner I go the sooner I can come back home."
He thought that would help, but it really did just the opposite. Adam practically flinched away from Jeff's touch and slammed the trunk closed, heaving the bags up onto his thin shoulder.
That did not sit well with Jeff. "Adam, come on, why are you acting like this now?" he inquired desperately as he tried to keep up with the tall leggy blond.
Adam stayed silent, pursing his lips as he tried to keep his tears at bay. He couldn't break down now, he needed to be strong for Jeff. He made it to where all of the other soldiers were gathering and saying goodbye to their family members, his heart feeling like a brick of lead in his chest. He came to an abrupt halt in the courtyard, dropping the bags to the ground and wrapping his arms around himself. He inhaled sharply when he felt familiar arms wrap around his waist and a chin rest atop his shoulder.
"Darlin', what's going on in that head of yours? Me leaving isn't the only thing on your mind, is it..?" Jeff whispered.
Adam shook his head and turned around in Jeff's arms to face the younger man. "It's about what Jay mentioned to me..."
"What did he say? I've gotta know. Please?"
He took a deep breath before looking Jeff straight in the eyes. "He said I should go get tested for-"
"Alright, you bunch of ladies! It's time to haul ass!"
Adam jumped and Jeff rolled his eyes at the officer in charge. It was time to go, and neither of them were looking forward to the days ahead.
I know I should be working on Along Came an Enigma, but I was listening to this song the other day, and this idea just popped into my head out of the blue. I blame my Addy muse. He's been so over dramatic lately and I just had to appease him. Anyways, I love ACAE to death, don't get me wrong, and I do plan on seeing it through to the end, it's just that I have a hard time transferring my thoughts onto paper, and UGH. But anyways, I hope y'all stay tuned for this story as well! OH, and I started a request one-shot story called Win the Shot, Call the Spot. Feel free to check me out and let me know how I'm doing!