Title: Open Doors
Pairings: McGee/Ziva, also hints at past Tony/Ziva
Rating: T
Genre: Het
Cat: Angst, Drama, Friendship, Romance
Spoilers: End of season 10 in general.
Warnings: Language.
Summary: She left, without a word. Months later, Tony and McGee find out why.
Author's Note: Written for the A Farewell to Arms challenge. Sort of sequel to my tag to Chasing Ghosts, Almost Careless, but it's not totally necessary to read that one to get this one. Takes place in the same universe, anyway. And it's a slightly different take on the challenge. You'll see.

McGee walked into the coffee shop, a small notebook dangling from his hand, and took a seat at the counter, his eyes flitting around the room as he waited for a barista to notice him and take his order. A cheerful girl with a messy blonde ponytail bounced over, smiling at him.

"Hi there! What can I get ya?"

"Large hazelnut macchiato, please."

"You got it," she said, winking at him as she trotted off to fill the order.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes for a moment as he waited, inhaling the strong scent of coffee beans and listening to the sounds of brewing coffee. When he opened his eyes again, his coffee was sitting before him and the barista was giving him a knowing look.

"Rough day?" she asked, her voice sympathetic.

"Uh, yeah," he nodded, checking out her name tag. Cathy. She seemed nice. But he couldn't help but think of what happened the last time he picked someone up in a coffee shop, and she was probably just being friendly, doing her job. Besides, he wasn't really interested in dating right now. Not after what had happened.

"Well, I hope the coffee helps. I know a good jolt of caffeine always makes me feel better." She winked again, beaming at him, then looked over her shoulder as a few more customers walked in. "Oops, sorry, gotta go. Have a great day!"

He gave a half-hearted wave as she returned to the cash register and helped the new customers, then took a sip from his coffee and pulled out his notebook. Ever since he'd resigned from NCIS, he'd had a lot of time on his hands, and he'd filled most of it with writing. He usually wrote in his apartment, but he'd found himself feeling some "creative stifling" the past few days and thought a change of setting might help with that.

But even as he opened his notebook and poised his hand above the paper, he found his mind too full to concentrate. He set the pen down and sighed, picking up his coffee again and scanning the room for a distraction.

He found one almost immediately, frowning a bit in confusion and surprise, and picked up his notebook as he stood, walking over to the person sitting alone, someone quite familiar to him.

He stopped at the secluded booth, waiting for an acknowledgment, and when he didn't get one, said just one word. "Tony."

His former partner looked up at him, seeming just as surprised to see him there. "Oh, hey, Tim. Haven't seen you for a while." He motioned to the seat across from him and McGee took it, trying to check Tony out, determine his mental state. "So, what have you been up to?"

McGee shrugged, settling back in the booth. "Writing." Tony looked even more surprised at that and McGee shook his head. "No L.J. Tibbs in this one, don't worry. Completely new characters. Not that it really matters, because it's just for something to do. How 'bout you?"

Tony shrugged. "Not much. Watching a lot of movies." He gave McGee a half smile, which disappeared when he asked his next question. "You heard from Ziva at all?"

McGee glanced down at his coffee cup, not able to look at Tony any longer. "Nope. You?"

Tony shook his head, even though McGee wasn't looking at him, and silence fell between them, the sounds of the coffee shop filling the gap in their conversation. Finally, Tony spoke. "It's been months, Tim. Where do you suppose she is?"

McGee let out a heavy breath, considering Tony's question, then said, "You want to get out of here? This place is feeling a little stuffy."

Tony contemplated his question, then nodded, standing and grabbing his own coffee. McGee followed suit, trailing Tony as he headed for the exit. He wasn't sure what they would do, but being away from the curious gaze of the friendly barista would make him feel less guilty, at the least.

They stepped out into the bright early fall sunshine, a light breeze providing a nice balance to the heat from the sun, and started walking. They remained silent for a block, then two, before Tony stopped and turned to McGee. "Where is she, Tim?"

McGee frowned. "Why do you think I'd know?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Don't play dumb. I know she tells you everything. Remember Bodnar?"

McGee swallowed and looked away as he thought back to everything that had happened when he and Ziva were tracking down her father's killer, how it was more than a revenge mission, how she had turned to him for comfort and things had gotten intimate between them. He knew Tony was hurting, but so was he.

Tony's voice knocked him from his thoughts. "You know something, don't you?"

He lifted his head to glare at his former partner. "She left all of us, Tony, not just you."

Tony smiled, but it wasn't friendly, and he ran a hand through his hair. "Wow. And what exactly do you mean by that?"

McGee threw his hands up in exasperation. "What do I mean? Exactly what I said! She's gone. She didn't tell me where she was going, and she clearly didn't tell you, either. Whatever happened, it was bad enough for her to leave without telling anyone." He paused, letting out a deep breath, then said, "Look, I know you feel like you're the only one upset by this, but believe me, you're not."

Tony had positioned himself with his hands on his hips, his coffee forgotten on the ground, and said, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

It was McGee's turn to roll his eyes. "You've always felt like anything that happened with Ziva was entirely to do with you, like the only person she gives a damn about is you. Newsflash, Tony – I was her partner, too, and I was her friend. And if she comes back, I'm going to make sure that even if we aren't working together, she knows I'm still her friend and I still care about her."

Tony listened to him, not saying anything for a few moments after he finished, then spoke so quietly McGee thought he was hearing things. "You wanna fight?"

"What? Tony. . ." Tony reached out and shoved McGee then, causing him to stumble and gape at him. "Tony, what the hell. . ."

Tony stepped closer, getting in McGee's face. "I know you've thought about it. And I know you probably blame me for her leaving. So go ahead. Hit me with your best shot."

"I'm not fighting with you, Tony," McGee sighed.

"Why not? Because you want to take the high road, prove you're a better person than me? I know that's what you think. Not gonna stoop to Tony's level. Gotta be the bigger man. Why don't you just admit it?"

McGee glared at him. "I don't think I'm better than you, Tony."

Tony laughed, but it was a bitter sound. "Nope. Just smarter, nicer, a better friend. . ."

"Would you just shut up?" McGee interrupted, raising his voice. "God, you're like a little kid sometimes! I don't blame you for anything, because I'm too busy blaming myself, okay?"

"Oh, there we go. Classic McGee. Self-deprecation to martyr yourself. Need any help with that ego?"

"I learned from the best." McGee held Tony's gaze, daring him to look away. "You don't know why Ziva left."

"Well, neither do you, so maybe you shouldn't claim to know the inner workings of her mind."

"Then it is a good thing I am here." Both Tony and McGee stared at each other before turning to join their guest. "Since I am the only person who knows what I am thinking at all times."

For McGee, it was like Tony had disappeared, as he reached out. "Ziva."

She ignored his action and spoke to them both. "If I had known this level of immaturity would happen upon my leaving, I would have reconsidered."

"So, why did you leave?" Tony asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I needed some space," she said. "I had a lot to think about." Before either man could ask what she meant, she opened her coat and placed her hands on her hips, leaving them both gaping at her.

"Ziva. . ." McGee whispered. His face had turned ashen and he looked almost as though he was about to pass out. Tony simply frowned, still trying to process what was going on.

"As you can see," Ziva continued, her tone matter-of-fact, "I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God," McGee moaned under his breath, causing Tony to look at him, his frown deepening.

"You have something you want to tell me, Probie?" he asked, his tone accusing. He then turned to Ziva. "Or maybe you do. Though I doubt you'd tell me anything, since you didn't say a word when you left."

"She obviously had a good reason, Tony," McGee said, but Ziva didn't thank him.

"No, I was wrong to leave without saying anything," she conceded. "But I was confused and yes, scared, and running away seemed the most logical thing to me."

"Because you didn't trust us enough to help you?" Tony asked, sounding more hurt than anything.

She shook her head and rested a hand on her swollen stomach. "No, that's not it at all. I . . . knew I was only going to end up hurting both of you."

McGee tore his gaze from her stomach to look her in the eye, knowing what she was going to say. "You didn't," he said, his voice quiet.

The look on his face brought tears to Ziva's eyes, and she closed them as she looked down at the ground. "It is why I needed time away. I acted . . . recklessly. I just felt so lost, so alone, I was looking for any way to not feel like that anymore. But," she looked up, meeting both men's gazes for a short time, "whatever I said to either of you was the truth. I care too much about you both to deny you that."

"Apparently you cared so much you had to fuck us both, right?" Tony's hands were curled into fists at his side. He was beyond hurt now – he was angry.

Ziva glanced at McGee, as if expecting him to come to her aid, but it was like he wasn't even there anymore. He wore a blank expression, his eyes glazed over, as if his brain had stopped working entirely. Ziva had to swallow the idea that she had broken him.

Tony followed Ziva's eyes to McGee, waiting for some sort of reaction from the other man, and when he didn't get one, said something he was sure would get him to say something. "I mean, being with a woman who's sleeping with someone else is nothing new for me, but poor Probie here can barely get a date as it is. . ."

"Fuck off, Tony," McGee said, but he still looked like he wasn't entirely there. Still, something in his eyes changed when he spoke, and Ziva stepped back, suddenly worried about what he may do. He seemed to notice her action and blinked, his expression returning to more of a normal state. "I'm not going to hit you, Ziva. I couldn't, no matter how mad I was."

She nodded. "I know," she said, but didn't sound entirely convinced. An awkward silence fell then and Ziva spoke after a minute. "I felt that I should come back to let you know."

Both men focused their attention on her again, and Tony spoke. "So now we deal with it. You know who the father is?"

Ziva held his gaze for a moment, then shook her head, her cheeks flushing in shame. "No. I can always have a paternity test done, though neither of you should feel as though you have to do anything."

McGee gave her an incredulous look. "Are you serious? If it's my baby, I want to be there. You know I've always wanted kids."

"What if it's not, though? Could you forgive me?" Her gaze was pleading, and a tear fell from her eye. She quickly wiped it away, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter. I won't make either of you make that decision."

Now both men looked concerned. "What do you mean, Ziva?" Tony asked, and McGee glanced over his shoulder, only then seeming to realize they were on a public street, with people going about their business around them. He took a step closer to Ziva, so she wouldn't feel so exposed. He may have been upset about the situation, but he still cared about her, and it would take a lot more than this to change that.

"I still need time. I'll come back, maybe even before I have the baby, but it is too complicated right now and I need to figure out for myself what to do."

Tony and McGee shared a look then, understanding there was more to this than just them, that this was about Ziva, about this baby. Tony spoke up. "Hey, you know we care about you, right? And things might be kinda awkward, but we can make it work. We always have. You're part of our family."

McGee nodded beside him. "We just want what's best for you, and a baby! That's something we should be celebrating, not fighting over. If there's anything we can do. . ."

"Just give me some space," she whispered, giving them a teary smile. "I need time to think. I promise I will let both of you know when I come back, okay?" Both men still looked unsure, so Ziva reached out, taking one of their hands in each of hers. "Tony said it himself. We are a family. And sometimes, families have problems. You two know that better than anyone. But I do not want to lose either one of you, not when I need you most."

"I don't want that, either," McGee said, then sighed. "Don't take too long to figure out what you want?"

Ziva gave him a genuine smile. "I will do some meditating and let it come to me. In the meantime, you can try to wrap your heads around taking care of a baby." Tony and McGee shared a look of horror and Ziva laughed, then said, "I have some things I need to do, so. . ."

"You're not getting away from me without a proper goodbye this time, my little ninja," Tony said, and McGee nodded his agreement.

"I had not planned on it," Ziva said. "But I would like to give you each a private goodbye."

Tony shrugged. "I can distract myself. Probie?"

McGee rolled his eyes. "I think I can find something to do for a few minutes. Which I will do now." He turned the opposite direction, turning a corner to give them some space, and Tony and Ziva waited until he was out of sight before turning back to each other.

"So, Momma Ninja, is it?" he said, brushing her hair back from her face. His expression turned serious. "Admit it. You know who the father is."

She gave him a look of shock. "Tony. . ."

He nodded. "It's okay. You can tell him. I mean, he's always wanted kids. He'll be a great dad." He held out his arms and she walked into them, feeling a mix of emotions that he was able to read her that well. "I guess things just weren't meant to be for us."

Ziva lifted her head from his chest. "I'm sorry, Tony," she whispered.

He kissed the top of her head. "I know. It's okay. I'll be fine." She gave him a look that said she didn't believe him and he smiled at her. "Hey, I've done it before. I'll make it."

She reached up and took his face in her hands, pressing a kiss to his cheek and resisting the temptation to kiss him elsewhere. Knowing McGee was right around the corner and what she was going to tell him, it didn't feel right – even though he knew now that she'd slept with Tony.

"You realize it'll be impossible to keep him from keeping in contact with you once he finds out, right?" Tony asked, and Ziva just smiled at him.

"Goodbye, Tony," she said, walking away to where McGee had gone.

She found him staring through the window of a children's clothing boutique, an unreadable expression on his face. She was just about to announce her presence when he spoke. "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?"

She shook her head. "I haven't found out yet, no." She bit her lip, then asked, "What would you like it to be?"

He shrugged, still staring at the floral print dress in the window. "I could handle either. I'd love a little boy, you know, to have a mini me," he grinned, "but then there's the whole daddy's little girl thing." He continued staring at the display, until he realized what he'd said and how Ziva hadn't corrected him and turned to her, surprise written all over his face. "You knew." She nodded. His voice dropped to a loud whisper. "I'm going to be a father?" She nodded again, grinning this time, and he couldn't hold back any longer, wrapping his arms around her and picking her up, making her shriek a little. He laughed as he set her back down, but kept his arms around her. "I'm going to be a father."

"You are," Ziva said, and hugged him, resting her head on his chest. "And I promise, you do not have to worry about my loyalty to you." He pulled away, giving her a look of concern. "What happened between Tony and I was a one-time thing. . ." she started, but McGee shook his head, hugging her again.

"I know, and it doesn't matter," he said, and she struggled to pull away from him, needing to argue otherwise, but he kept his hold on her. "Ziva. You made a mistake. We all do. And you were grieving, and Tony was able to give you what you needed. I can't be upset with you for that." He paused. "Well, okay, I was a lot more bothered by it before I knew that I was going to be a father."

Ziva rolled her eyes and sighed. "I still have to leave. . ." McGee's expression turned concerned again, and she smiled, "NCIS. I will not be able to work and take care of a baby."

He narrowed his eyes at her response. "But you resigned. We all did. Unless. . ."

She shook her head. "No, no, I have not gotten my job back. But I had thought I would, we all would, and now. . ." She shrugged.

He nodded. "Sure, yeah, of course. What will you do? Will you come back to NCIS eventually or. . .?"

She shrugged. "I do not know yet. I have been in law enforcement my entire adult life. Perhaps it is time for a change. I could work at a gun range, teach self-defense classes. . ."

"Teach yoga, be a fitness instructor. . ." McGee added, and she narrowed her eyes at him. "What? You are in great shape."

"Not right now," she muttered, glancing down at her stomach.

"Well, I think you have an excuse," he said. He hugged her again, making her laugh. "You know you're not going to be able to get rid of me now, right?"

Ziva grinned at him. "Who said I wanted to?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're not leaving?"

"I said I was leaving NCIS," she said. "That does not mean I will not be around. I mean, I may need a foot rub and I can barely reach my feet right now. . ." She laughed at the expression on his face, then sobered and leaned her cheek against his chest. "Will you make sure Tony's okay? I worry about him."

He ran a hand over her hair. "I'll try, but he probably isn't going to want to have much to do with me once he knows." Ziva didn't say anything, so he continued. "He knows?"

"I didn't even have to say anything," she confirmed. "He said I should tell you. And that he think you'll be a great dad, though I am sure he would not want me telling you he said that."

He gave her another squeeze. "I still can't believe this. Promise me you won't leave for months at a time again?" She nodded against him. "Good. I need to be able to take care of you, and the baby."

Ziva stayed quiet and still against him, and McGee reveled in the moment, until he felt wetness against his shirt and heard sniffling. He glanced down. "Ziva? You okay? What's wrong?"

She lifted her head and wiped her eyes, shaking her head. "Nothing's wrong. I just . . . I've always had to take care of myself all these years, you know? To hear someone say they will take care of me is just . . . overwhelming, I suppose."

"But in a good way, right?" He raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed.

"In the best way," she agreed. She leaned against him again, saying after a moment, "It is true what they say."

"What's that?" McGee asked, his gaze back on the boutique window.

Ziva turned her head, following his gaze to the display. "Where one door closes, another opens."

He looked down at her and waited for her to look back to him before lowering his mouth to hers, the kiss a promise of things to come, that he would be the permanence she so desperately wanted. When they broke apart, she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. It was still a little early to feel any movement, but the action made them both light up with the realization they were bringing a new life into the world.

They remained standing there, alight in the joy of their newfound happiness, while Tony moved from where he'd been standing, watching unnoticed, and returned to his car. Where one door closes. . .

THE END