First days have never been your favorite. It isn't like you're the new kid in school, or you have no friends. You have plenty of friends. Or at least people that tolerate you. But you're sitting in the cafeteria with your brother, listening to him ramble on and on and on about something that he did while he was stoned. Which isn't a surprise, he's always stoned anymore. Something about trying to "chill the motherfuck out, bro" and you can't help but silently laugh whenever he says that.

The bell rings and everyone starts moving to homeroom. You unfold himself form the seat you've taken and move at a languid pace. You aren't in any hurry. A few long strides will take you to your locker and then to your homeroom. You grab your books and then slide into your usual seat in the back. This is your third year with this homeroom and no one is going to bother you. You do your best to sit in the desk, having to slouch forward some so that your legs will fit under the top.

Your friend slides into the desk next to you, talking loudly about what he and his girlfriend had been doing the night before. He isn't a bad guy, but damn did he talk a lot. But while he's talking, you're distracted by someone new talking to your homeroom teacher.

Her hair is so long and black you're entranced by it. She speaks loudly, with a bit of an accent. You can't place it, but it's amazing. You look down when she turns around to take a seat. Once you can't hear footsteps anymore you look up. She's sitting in the front of the room, surrounded by a gaggle of girls asking her questions.

Your friend turns and looks at you. "Damn, Kurloz, she's hot."

You turn to look at him and raise an eyebrow, trying to get "Should you really be talking about how hot other girls are when you have a girlfriend?" but really just getting "What do you mean?" across to your friend.

"Don't give me that fucking look, Kurly!" He says that just a little too loudly. You can already see the teacher writing him a detention slip and motion for him to keep it down. "Don't tell me to be quiet I can be as loud as I want, watch!" He starts whooping wildly which, were he at a party, would probably be hilarious. But sitting in the middle of homeroom it earns him two extra days of detention.

The bell rings and you clamor out of your seat as best as you can toward his next class.

She's there, too.

You sit down behind her and feel your heart skip a beat. You give a little half smile and a wave. Please don't talk to me. You can't say anything back. But you've never been a lucky man.

"Hi there!" Her voice is almost painfully loud this close. "I'm Meulin!"

You point to your mouth and shake your head. You're trying to say "I can't speak to you. I'm sorry. I want to. I really want to but I can't..."

But your thoughts are interrupted by someone sitting next to Meulin and laughing. "Don't bother trying to get an answer out of Makara. His bitchass won't talk to no one."

Yeah, well fuck you too, Meenah. You do your best to stare her down, but she's always been one of the few people not intimidated by you.

"What? Why not!" Meulin looks a little sad that you won't say anything. That makes you remarkably happy in the strangest way.

"Damn I don't know!" Meenah looks back at you with a frown on her face. "He's just a big creep. You don't wanna be getting involved in any of his shit."

You slouch back in your seat again, and just sit there drawing skulls through the rest of class. You don't have any other classes with her through the day, but her just a little too-loud voice sticks with you. Her excitement at meeting you. Her disappointment that you wouldn't speak. You feel like she's going to be someone to remember.

After school you find himself sitting in your car with your brother and one of his friends. He was tiny and angry and you don't see why he hangs out with your brother, but you have a sneaking suspicion that it might be something that you really don't want to hear about your little brother doing. Ever. Even if you know it's going to happen sooner or later.

You drive the three of you back to your house and, even though it's just your brother and his friend, you can't talk with his friend there. But the two of them go up to his room and you're left downstairs with your dad. Great.

You sit in the black comfy chair and flip through the channels aimlessly. Nothing is catching your eye but it gives you something to do until your dad kicks you out of here to go up to your room. You comply and make your way up the stairs and down the hall to your room.

Your posters on the wall aren't exactly current to your likes anymore. Bob Marley? You haven't really been into the reggae scene for a couple years now. Maybe you should give this shit to Gamzee. Even though yours friends keep saying that he was a juggalo, you know that he isn't. He hates ICP and you know that. You're not sure why he doesn't like them if you're completely honest. Crazy white boy rap. Always seemed like his cup of tea to you.

You shake the thoughts out of your head and close the door behind you. You pull off your hoodie and shirt then sit at your desk. You turn put your headphones on and start to dig through 4chan and Reddit. You don't even notice as the hours slipping past you before it's time for you to go to bed. Fucking school anyway.

You're brushing your teeth when your brother comes into the bathroom.

"Hey bro!" You can tell from how raspy his voice is that he's been smoking in his room. "I hear there's a new chica in your grade, right?"

You nod. You never speak when you're brushing your teeth. That's rude.

"She hot."

You roll your eyes and sign at him. "Not your business."

"Hey man just wondering. She's got a sister in Kar-bro's grade. She ain't hot but she is one cute little motherfucker."

You raise your eyebrows at him but he doesn't see; he's too busy washing that disgusting grease makeup off his face. When you do yours you always prefer to use cream or a nice water based. The grease just never dries.

When he finishes washing his face you're already done brushing your teeth, but you still have your eyebrows raised, waiting for him to tell you what he means.

"What is it bro?"

You sign. "New girl?"

"Oh yeah! Like she's just the tiniest sis I ever seen, bro! I kinda wanna ask if she wants to party with me sometime, but I don't wanna up and scare her off." He laughs. That fucking stoner laugh. You've hated that laugh since you first heard it from your friends in middle school. You'd had it for a while too, back in your Marley days.

But those are done. You're more of an old school punk fan these days.

He's staring at you, like there's something interesting on your face. Which there probably is. He's one of the only people that can read your thoughts that way. "What's up, bro?"

You shrug and shake your head. You don't wanna say anything about Meulin.

"Nah, bro, there is something miraculous up and in your head."

You smile a little and shrug again.

"Tell me, bro. She hot?"

You glare at him. Of course he'd think it was about a girl. But it is about a girl. She's been in your motherfuckin' head all day, Kurloz.

"Oh she must be if you're not saying anything."

You laugh quietly with your mouth closed.

"Hey at least give me a name, Kur-bro!"

You swallow and look up at him. You speak so quietly that you're not sure if you actually say it. "Her name is Meulin."

It feels fantastic to say it. You love the way it rolls off your tongue and past your lips. You hope you can work up the nerve to talk to her.

It's going to take a hell of a lot to do that, but you;re going to do it.

You're going to try to talk to her tomorrow.