Disclaimer: To-Love-Ru Darkness is the copyright property of its creators, Kentaro Yabuki and Saki Hasemi. Thus, I hold no rights regarding the characters used in this fanfiction story.
And just as a side note for anyone interested, explanations for various references and other Japanese terms which are scattered throughout this whole story can now be found at the bottom of each chapter.
Let's see, I guess this story takes place in some alternate timeline before chap. 12 of TLR:D.
The radiant light filtering into his room has become too much for the slumbering teen as Yuuki Rito gives a great yawn and groggily stretches. For the first time in ages, he is able to wake up like normal people do, with absolutely no surprises to arouse his upper and nether regions into full attention.
Even after waking he continues to lie lazily in bed, enjoying this rare moment's peace for as long as it will last. Though all good things must eventually come to an end, and so he gets up in order to start his day.
But the reign of silence continues even after stepping out into the hallway. It isn't until Rito comes downstairs and wanders into the living room does he finally spot a familiar figure kneeling by the back porch outside.
Upon hearing the glass door slide open, Momo Velia Deviluke shifts her attention away from the garden and turns, smiling brightly upon seeing him, "Good morning, Rito-san. Or should I say good afternoon? You certainly seem well-rested this lovely day."
He rubs the back of his head, feeling slightly abashed though glad that someone else was here besides him, "Morning, Momo. Yeah, guess I overslept a bit more than I should have. Just where is everybody?"
"I'm sure you remember, Rito-san, that Onee-sama had official Deviluke business to attend to and left with Zastin-san to the far side of this galaxy. She won't be returning until sometime next week."
"Oh yeah, now that you mention it..." he recalls after a bit of thought, "How about Nana? I haven't been seeing her around lately either. She also went with them?"
"Nana left again this morning with her new friend from our class at school. They've been hitting it off rather well, so who knows how long she'll be gone."
Momo moves to stand and a strange spike of anxiety arises within Rito. He dismisses the impulse and strains his ears, trying to pick up any familiar activity coming from either the kitchen or laundry area, "Mikan. Mikan's out too?"
"Mikan-san stepped outside just a few moments ago in order to do some errand shopping. I'd imagine she won't be back until later this evening," she coolly replies while walking towards him and the teen unwittingly retracts back; that same uneasy feeling growing with each deliberate step she takes.
"Ah, Celine..! Just where did that girl run off to..?!" he questions with rising tension as he scans the ground for signs of the petite flower girl.
"Celine-san didn't want to be cooped up in this house all the time, and so she's tagging along with your sister for today."
Momo comes to stand directly in front of him and Rito gulps heavily, his body straight and stiff, as the final pieces fall into place, "Then, that would mean..."
"That's right. It's just the two of us here. All alone~"
"I-I-I'm going out to..!" he suddenly blurts out and backs away, wholly thankful that unlike their prior close-knit encounters, he still has plenty of space to do so.
"Oh my, leaving already?"
His mind on overdrive, Rito conjures up an urgent excuse on the fly, "I just remembered that Saruyama asked me to do something really, really important for him..!"
"With Saruyama-senpai?" Momo clarifies and he nods vigorously in response. A few beats pass by in mindful silence, then her mouth slips into a secret smile, "You needn't fret over that, Rito-san. Since you were indisposed at the time of his visit, senpai was gracious enough to push your appointment with him back for a later date."
"Huh..? R-Really?" Rito stutters, dumbfounded, as he tries recalling his most recent conversations with his friend, "Did we really make plans to get together this weekend..?"
"What seems to be the matter? It's also as if you don't believe me. Is there any reason for that, I wonder?" Momo openly questions while leaning forward and peeling up at him, a mischievous grin still adorning her face. All Rito can do is flounder about like a fish out of water as she continues grilling him with her inquiries, "Ah yes. Senpai also mentioned wanting to retrieve a certain item of his currently in your possession. However, when pressed for the details, he couldn't provide a clear enough answer as to what that something was. You wouldn't happen to know, would you?"
He stands there, fully aware of what she's probably referring to.
"Yo, Rito! Glad you could make it."
"What's up, Saruyama? It's weird of you to call me to your place all of a sudden."
"Actually I needed you here as my eyewitness, someone who'll watch me make this pledged declaration," Saruyama stated with a dead serious look on his face and Rito was left wondering what this was all about. Yet upon catching sight of the erotic magazines neatly bundled up on the table besides them, he could already tell that this was one conversation he wouldn't end up liking. Those expectations were soon fulfilled as his friend pumped his fist into the air and wholeheartedly proclaimed, "From this day forward. I, Saruyama Kenichi, hereby swear off all porn, all so that I can remain faithful to my true love, Riko-chan!"
After several long beats of awkward silence, Rito blinked in stupefied disbelief, "You had me come for such a stupid reason..."
Put off by the lackluster reaction, Saruyama's face lit up with sudden realization. He reached over and placed a firm hand on his friend's shoulder, his expression full of sympathetic pity, "So that's how it is. It's tough for you to see Riko-chan as someone more than just your distant cousin, isn't it? But don't you see? She's perfect in every possible way!"
"I seriously don't want to hear this..." Rito replied with obvious pain, wishing to god that he didn't have to deal with these issues regarding his other self.
"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you never noticed? Her luscious hair, those sweet cheeks, those kissable lips..." Saruyama rattled on, getting lost in the wondrous form that was his first crush. His face becoming more and more perverted with each passing second, he made various squeezing motions with his hands while picturing Riko's finer features, "Those supple boobs, that sinful waistline, those huggable hips, that heart-shaped hiney... G-ha, ghaha-haa..!"
Mortified, Rito wanted nothing more than to crawl into a small hole somewhere and die. His friend had started off innocently enough, but to degrade into this…
Saruyama soon snapped back to his senses and sloppily wiped the excess drool from his mouth, "Anyways, Rito. I might fall into temptation again if my whole stash were still here at the house. So you have to take these and keep them safe for me!"
"Why not just throw 'em away?"
As if getting shot straight through the heart, Saruyama gripped his chest in dramatic fashion, the mere thought pure blasphemy to his ears, "Like I could ever do that..! Think before you say something so ridiculous, man!"
"Okay, then try looking for someone who'll be glad to actually have them," Rito then suggested, having serious doubts if his friend would be able to uphold his newfound oath for even a week.
"Ritooo..! You can't even help out your dear old pal on this one?"
"It's not that... it's just that I don't really need those type of magazines anymore. Or it's more like they'll be wasted on me," Rito answered, hesitant yet direct. After being bombarded by the real thing on almost a daily basis, mere nudie pictures barely gave him so much as a raise anymore. Not to mention that he was a lot more worried about the repercussions should any of the girls find Saruyama's porn stash. Mikan, he figured, would be the least of his concerns; Lala's reaction would be totally unpredictable; Nana would probably leave him in a world of hurt; and Momo... well, he didn't even want to consider what would be in store for him if she ever found out.
Yet, Saruyama's main focus was on Rito's apparent disinterest in receiving his precious collection. Awestruck, he continued staring at his friend, unable to comprehend either the logic or reasoning. Then, an unbelievable thought clicked in his mind.
"I see, I get it now..." Saruyama stated as he began lowly chuckling like a madman possessed. Then suddenly he snapped, whipping an accusing finger at Rito with righteous, adolescence fury, "Admit it! For all these years, your so-called issue with women was just an act so that you could flaunt your superiority over me! Having girls like Haruna and Lala-chan ripe for the picking yet not doing a single thing about it? Unbelievable! Now I know that whenever I turn around, you're secretly laughing it up behind my back! Damn it all! You bastard! Betrayer! Enemy of single men everywhere!"
"Calm down, Saruyama! You're talking crazy talk now..!"
"Whatever happened to my best bud who could barely string two words together in front of a girl? Just where did that shy, modest guy go? It's like I don't even know you anymore..!" Saruyama mournfully cried, his anger fizzling out and shifting into manic depression. Hesitant, Rito awkwardly patted his friend's back in an effort to console him, "And why are you the lucky one who ends up getting all the girls? It's not fair, damn it! Especially when you compare our faces with one another, there's just no contest there..!"
Rito stopped his patting long enough to give a look of mild disgust; so the truth finally came out. He hoped his friend wasn't implying that he was the uglier of the two. Because in his own modest opinion, most people would sooner regard Saruyama as the wingman to his ace.
Looking at his pitiful state, Rito eventually caved in, "Fine, I get it..! If you really want me to, then I'll take them off your hands."
"Really? Thanks a bunch, Rito! Even though it's frustrating, I really can't think of a better person who I want to leave my prized collection to," Saruyama said with utmost confidence, his attitude pulling a complete 180. Rito found himself giving a slight half-smile in return; his friend truly did respect and care for him in his own special, perverted way. Of course, this uplifting moment didn't last long as Saruyama leaned in close and added with a sneaky grin, "Just to give you a heads-up here, but I'll be needing to look at my magazines from time to time. Flipping through the pages, checking to see if they're still in top quality, making sure you're taking care of them properly for me... things like that. No problems there, right?"
Sighing over the obvious loophole, Rito had figured it was a little too good to be true. Though he supposed all this was better than having his friend still mad at him, "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Saruyama..."
He then reached over to collect the stash but they were snatched up at the very last second. With tumbling hands, Saruyama proceeded to tearfully hug the porn magazines against his chest, "Thank you for the many wonderful years..!"
Rito could only watch the 17-year-old virgin's weepy good-bye: such a sad sight to see and an even sadder life to live through. Vaguely, he wondered if the two of them should be given a moment alone. Yet that had been an unnecessary thought as his friend soon stopped bawling and adopted a brave look on his face.
"Rito—!" he exclaimed with fire in his eyes. Saruyama implored him – not as his best friend, but as a fellow man fighting the good fight – to always treasure his most cherished possession, "Let these magazines be as good to you as they have been for me..!"
Saruyama held out the porn with both hands and his head bowed down like he was offering the holy bible. Despite having none of his dynamic flair, even Rito could feel the force coursing within as he held the fabled stash onto his chest and rose to a stand. Yes! These semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic powers were his to command, to controlllll..! (1)*
Well, not really. He just thought it best to play along with his friend so that he could finally be allowed to leave.
Rito blinks out of his recollection. In the end, he took the stack of porn home with him after all. Now they're safely tucked away and collecting dust somewhere in the darkest reaches of his closet.
Saruyama is his best friend after all. So at the very least, Rito can do this much and will allow him to continue chasing the dream, even though there's absolutely no way in hell that it will ever come true.
Still, if Saruyama were to ever find out that he was Riko...
"Say, Rito. I've never asked you for much, right? So do me this huge favor and live your life as a girl forever."
A violent shiver runs through him. Knowing Saruyama, he was totally capable of enacting that very scenario.
"So then. Going by your silence, would that be an affirmative yes to my question?"
Looking back into the eyes of the girl whom he wants to conceal this matter from the most, Rito is caught off guard and blurts out the first thought that comes to mind, "They're magazines—For sports, I mean! From sumo to soccer: he's really into all kinds of physical activities..!"
"Hmmmm... sports magazines, is it?" she practically purrs out and Rito would have face-palmed himself if he could. Just why did he tell a lie that was hitting it way too close to the truth?
"A-At any rate..! I should probably drop in on Saruyama and make sure he's okay with pushing our meeting back for a later day."
"Not to tell you how to go about this, Rito-san, but wouldn't it be more convenient to call him over the phone?"
"I'd really like to... But, um, you see... he's the sort of guy that doesn't believe in them," Rito fumbles while blatantly stating an unreasonable fact about his best friend. Then, upon noticing his poor choice in wording, he hastily rectifies, "Ah, I mean—! He doesn't have a cell or anything like that at his house!"
"Oh my. Quite the outdated type, isn't he? It must be tough to get a hold of Saruyama-senpai whenever the need arises," Momo comments, still taking things in stride.
"Yeah, well, what else is there to say..? He's always been a real hassle to deal with, that guy," Rito replies, half-truthful in his remark as he has just about tapped his reserve of creative excuses dry, "So it's probably best if I get going now..."
Several long beats of nerve-wrecking silence pass while he anxiously awaits her final verdict. Then, something Rito himself was no longer expecting happens as she lowers her gaze and reluctantly steps away from his personal space.
"If that's the case, then I shouldn't be keeping you. But maybe you should consider dressing more appropriately before heading out? Well, not that I really mind," Momo adds, fully appreciating the view before her. Feeling incredibly self-conscious with the way she's hungrily eying him, the teen looks down at himself and realizes that he's still in his striped boxers and wearing only a sleeveless undershirt, "Or perhaps these are signs of Rito-san awakening as an exhibitionist?"
Furiously blushing, he shrinks away and instinctively cover his privates while Momo covers her own mouth and stifles a chuckle, finding his reaction rather humorous.
"Just what are you getting so embarrassed for? It's not like this is anything I haven't already seen before," she delightfully reminds him, her left hand placed against his chest while other snakes its way downward, "Although, such a large reaction would be quite understandable if you were revealing just a tiny bit more..."
But before she can happily find the fabric of his boxers, the red-faced teen bolts away upon reaching his limit, babbling inconsistencies and gibberish while beating a hasty retreat back into the house.
Alone upstairs inside his room, Rito's mind begins to wander as he sits down and reflects, feeling like a complete idiot now for his earlier behavior around Momo. Briefly, he wonders how all this snowballed into a situation where he can't even spend a relaxing weekend at his own home, "No use helping things now, I guess..."
He soon finishes changing and makes his way back downstairs. Before leaving, Rito announces his departure in a half-cautious, half-weary tone of voice, "I'll be going now, Momo..."
"Have a safe trip," she readily responds from the backyard outside.
Sparing the princess one last glance from across the living room, he stops upon noticing something peculiar about her. She too is no longer dressed in her usual attire, rather she's now wearing a pair of worn overalls and has the ends of her hair tied back into two tiny pigtails. If he isn't mistaken those clothes belong to Nana, which is made all the more obvious by the way they stretch and tent across one particular area of the younger twin's body.
Curiosity gets the better of Rito as he steps back onto the porch and offhandedly asks, "What's with the new getup?"
"Why? Do you like?" Momo coyly replies while striking a pose. He stops and considers; it's definitely a new look for her, but that sort of ragged, sporty style seems to suit Nana's image a bit better...
"Hey, hold on..!" Rito shakes his head, stopping himself from getting further derailed by her, "That's not it! I'm asking why you bothered changing into different clothes for."
"Isn't that obvious? It's because this outfit is more suitable for handling outdoor chores and other manual labor."
Musing momentarily, he blinks and vaguely recalls what Momo had been doing the first time he saw her out on the porch, "Wait a sec. Does this have something to do with the garden? Are there any problems with the plants there?"
"It's the soil actually. Many from the flowerbed have been making complaints about feeling malnourished as of late. Upon further study, it's seems that remnants of Celine-san's original form still lay deep underground and are interfering with those kids' growth. All these ramped weeds here in the yard are likely a result of this."
"Oh, so that's what it was... I've been wondering why the ground's been so rough and dry no matter how long I set the sprinklers on," replies Rito, only son of the Yuuki household, future king of the entire universal cosmos and gardener extraordinaire. Having forgotten about his fabricated plans for today, he ponders briefly over what to do and reaches a decision. Even before Lala had given Celine to him as a birthday present, he's usually been the one charged with tending to the lawn. So this is really his own responsibility, and most of all it wouldn't sit right with him to leave this problem entirely up to Momo, "It sounds like this might be more than one person can handle. Do you need an extra hand?"
"It's nice of you to offer, Rito-san, but I'm sure I'll be able to manage somehow. So please go and have fun at Saruyama-senpai's. You wouldn't want to be late."
"Ah, ahahahaa... yeah, about that..." he humorlessly trails off while scratching the back of his head. Since there's no easy way to admit this, he simply comes out and says it, "Sorry, Momo. About earlier. Actually, that was a lie."
Yet the princess hardly reacts to the sudden news, a slight widening of her eyes being the only real change to her seamless expression. It's as if she didn't clearly hear him, or maybe it's more like she couldn't quite believe what she was hearing.
Feeling the need to further elaborate, he continues, "You know, what I mentioned earlier about needing to go over to Saruyama's place, and about the whole cellphone thing too: none of that is really true. Though I probably need to contact him real soon, seeing as how he did drop by earlier for some reason... But anyways, I'm pretty sure we didn't have any set plans for today, or at least it couldn't have been all that important. So yeah, I'm free to help out if you still need me to..."
His apology ending on a rather flat note, Rito awaits her response; she must think badly of him after being told such a bold-faced lie. But against all expectations, Momo continues to mutely stare at him which in turn leaves the teenager relatively puzzled, not knowing if he can clarify this matter any more than what had already been said. Moreover, he's starting to get this weird feeling that explaining everything to her had been utterly pointless to begin with.
His hunch is soon verified as the princess' calm starts to unravel, her mouth twitching up until she finally breaks into a light, merry laughter, "Honestly, Rito-san~! There's no need for you to explain yourself to me. If you're going to apologize, then I should as well for going along with your fib."
Dumbstruck, his mouth works on and off for a bit before he's able to reorganize his thoughts, "Wait, what? But how could you... Hold on, so you knew..?"
"Not once did you find it strange? You should be more mindful with these sort of things or else I'll never feel at ease; what with Rito-san being too good of a person as to believe just about anything," she chides in a good-natured manner. Even still, Rito feels flushed with embarrassment, rebuking himself for being so slow on the uptake. Meanwhile, Momo's gaze is still set on his face, the look in her eyes softening as she continues to regard him, "Yet, despite how unbecoming it is for Deviluke's future king, it's those exact qualities which I would never consider changing about you..."
Rito averts his gaze as warmth spreads across his entire face; this raising sentiment just has to be extra embarrassment from all the stuff Momo's been saying. He scratches his chin with a finger and distractingly asks, "But how did you know? About Saruyama's collection, I mean."
"I didn't. It's just that senpai strikes me as being that sort of transparent person," the princess answers much to his surprise. She hasn't even been properly introduced to his entire inner circle until now, yet her insight on his perverted friend was so accurate that it was kind of scary, "But are you certain with wanting to spend your free day helping me? I had also considered simply asking for Onee-sama's assistance after she arrives back on earth. If it were her, she can whip something up that will take care of this problem in no time at all."
It takes quite a bit of willpower on Rito's part to not outwardly blanch at the very thought. From an objective standpoint, all of Lala's inventions are downright astonishing to say the least. But he can never come to appreciate them after being on the constant receiving end of their inevitable disasters, "I'm totally sure. And also, let's try not involving Lala in this whole mess if we don't have to. If worse comes to worst, then it may be alright to ask for her help...
… and I'm talking about a huge maybe here," he silently finishes and prays that such a time will never come to pass.
"I see... If you insist," Momo replies, putting the matter to rest. Retrieving a notebook laying on the back porch, she flips it open and reveals a diagram of the backyard with various sections marked-off in red, "Then here are some of the dead roots I've managed to find so far..."
She then proceeds to indicate the location and depth of each root, instructing Rito while he goes about working the fields alone with the only shovel at their disposal.
For once, he's rather glad for their shortage of gardening tools since mindless, back-breaking labor is something he'd much rather prefer over fending off the carnal advances of Deviluke's third princess. But strangely enough, Momo remains on her best behavior and focuses entirely on the task at hand, missing several prime opportunities where she would usually take quick advantage of.
He continues to dig for hours on end, toiling away until the sky's color settles into a dim blue haze.
"You must be getting tired, Rito-san. How about calling it a day?"
With a final stab of his shovel, Rito turns to see Momo holding out a towel for him. Dog-tired and covered in dirt, he gratefully takes it, wiping away the sweat from his forehead and neck before asking, "So how is it, Momo? I know I haven't covered much ground yet, but am I making any progress?"
"There are still many roots spanning underneath the entire yard, and it will likely take a few more days before we can unearth the whole lot of them. But there's less cause for concern now, since the soil is already beginning to regain its nutriment and vitality," she explains, her tone becoming less formal as she relays a personal message to him, "Everyone from the garden would also like to thank you: not only for your efforts today, but for all your tender care throughout the years."
"That's good to hear. But I've just been doing what anyone else would normally do, so it's really nothing special."
"Always so modest. But I suppose this is step 1 of how the charming Rito-san weaves his way into the hearts of so many women."
Rito stands there, at a loss on what to say. He's always been left feeling hopelessly inept whenever the topic of his love life is brought up, mostly because he doesn't think himself to be as great as Momo makes him out to be. A harem full of girls with himself at the very center – to satisfy everyone in such a manner just has to be a pipe dream, something that's way beyond his capabilities.
Those weighty thoughts persist even as he heads towards the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. But the only thing that awaits him there is disappointment and dismay.
Both the pantry and refrigerator are practically barren: a quarter loaf of rock-hard bread, a single slab of reeking salmon, and a half carton of expired milk which makes a thick, slushy sound when shaken are just a few of the inedible items remaining.
"No wonder Mikan left to do some shopping. There's barely anything to eat around here."
Speaking of his sister, Rito spots a taped note with his name eligibly written in her neat handwriting. He joyously reaches out and takes the attached lunchbox from the back end of the fridge, figuring that it's probably leftovers from breakfast earlier this morning. Yet while holding it in his hand, Rito notes how remarkably light the container is and upon opening up the lid, he sees exactly the reason why that is.
The contents inside had been thoroughly raided and devoured of any scraps remaining. His smile quickly turns upside down, feeling rather agitated by this turn of events, "Putting it back without even leaving so much as a scrap behind... Just who in the world does that anyways?"
"Oh my, such a dreary face you're making. What seems to be wrong, Rito-san?"
"Momo... Nothing much, it's just my lunch," he replies before sourly displaying the eaten container to her. It doesn't take long before she puts two and two together and solves the mystery of Rito's disappearing lunchbox.
"Geez, that Nana. Doing whatever she wants without any consideration again..." Momo mutters, more to herself than to anyone else. A few beats pass by in thoughtful consideration, then she extends an unexpected offer, "Well, if you're alright with it, I can go ahead and prepare some supper for you."
"You know how to cook?" Rito questions before he clings at the repressed memory of Lala's homemade space contraption. Not to say the food wasn't edible, it's just that its mystifying, horrific appearance makes him quickly lost his appetite. And unfair as it is, his mind can't help but associate Momo's unbeknownst cuisine skills to that of her eldest sister's, "You don't have to go through all the trouble..! And besides, I'm not even all that hungry to begin with..!"
Though he may have been more convincing if not for the sudden growl resounding from the pit of his stomach. Momo, however, appears to realize the root of his indecision and gives a look of saintly understanding, "No need to be so reserved, Rito-san. Though it's very unfortunate, I've reflected since our time at the beach and now realize that there are still those who aren't yet accustomed to eating certain extraterritorial life forms. But with this, you're sure to be satisfied."
Taking out her D-Dial cell phone, Momo presses a sequence of buttons and out opens a subspace portal where an assortment of green vegetables begins falling into the two empty bowls in front of her. She sets their light meal on the dining table and Rito cautiously pokes his food at every possible angle; it looks like a perfectly normal toss salad to him.
However, as soon as he takes an unsuspecting bite out of the so-called lettuce, "it" gives a blood-curdling shriek!
"Just what the heck is this?!"
Her grin widens as if she had seen a child find the prize inside a cereal box for the first time, "Surprised? As you can see, this particular species has the look of being homegrown yet offers a succulent, exotic taste inside. Oh, and don't worry. These kids may be young, but they're well behaved and were properly educated in their place within the food chain."
"That's not the problem! Why do these veggies sound like they're dying each time you try biting into them?! Isn't that strange?!"
"Please settle down, Rito-san, and listen. This dish happens to be a rare, planetary delicacy which many from all across the galaxy would pay a handsome fortune for. So if you're bothered by the sound, I ask that you simply concentrate on savoring their flavor and pay no heed to their final moments of living."
Giving the alien vegetables a queasy glare, it takes several long seconds before he reluctantly decides to give it another shot. The food is tasty as far as salads go, and weirder stuff than this have happened to him before. So with those thoughts in mind, he takes in a heaping portion and chews the leafy greens very carefully.
"Hold it in, just hold it in..! Just ignore the way this piercing noise chatters my teeth and molars..! Or how eating this makes me feel one step closer into practicing cannibalism! Or that every bite sounds like I'm violently raping/murdering an actual living, breathing human bein—!
It's impossible after all!" Rito cries out while driving his chair back and jolting to a stand, resisting the primal urge to flip the whole dining table over, "Who in their right mind would even want to eat something like this anyways?!"
"Just what are you saying, Rito-san? Perhaps it's because your sister's cooking spoils you so that you've become such a picky eater," Momo incorrectly observes before swallowing a forkful from her own bowl, genuinely seeing nothing wrong with this abnormal setup, "And here I thought this was perfectly acceptable by earth standards. To paraphrase from a popular international cartoon show, 'It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited!'" (2)*
"What kind of crappy anime have you been watching lately?!" Rito exclaims inside his head, wondering how she could take such a catchphrase so literally. Now he's starting to regret that Lala had installed her own satellite network which allows their household to watch every channel broadcast worldwide. Thoroughly resigned, he slumps his shoulders and hangs his head, "God... I give up already..."
With dispirited steps, he walks out of the kitchen while Momo raises up from her chair and hastily inquires, "Ah, Rito-san..! Aren't you going to finish your salad?"
"You can have my share if you want, Momo, seeing that it'll just go to waste..." Rito replies, unenergetic, while giving a sluggish backwards wave. He drifts back into the living room and flops onto the sofa; if there's no way he can satisfy his stomach, then he may as well watch some TV to take his mind off his hunger.
But the weary teen isn't able to enjoy even a minute of quality programming as Momo comes up from behind the couch, reaches over his outstretched hand and powers off the television set before relieving him of the remote.
Baffled, he turns yet is interrupted by Momo, retribution for earlier on her mind as she aims to satisfy him in a completely different way, "This is a good opportunity. And like you mentioned earlier, I would hate to see it go to waste."
She then pounces on him without warning, pinning Rito down onto the flat of his stomach and straddling the small of his back with little difficulty. That uncommon strength helps remind him once more that she is indeed Lala's little sister.
Frantic and desperate, he cranks his neck around and tries freeing himself from her hold, "M-M-Momo..! What are you—?!"
"Sheesh... This will all be counterproductive if you let yourself tense up like this," she says while leaning her body closer, as if her voice can't carry over the inches of airspace between them. He freezes on the spot as the contour of her figure is pressed robustly onto his back. That size, that elasticity – again, it all drives home the point that she's definitely Lala's not-so-little sister, "Not to worry. I've done this countless times for Onee-sama, so much so that she practically jumps whenever I offer my services to her. And I can tell Nana secretly loves the touch of this modest sensation despite how hard she may try to deny it."
"Wha—!" Rito exclaims as a graphic vision of the three sisters sharing in sibling skinship flutters vividly into his mind and causes pints of blood to rush up into his head.
"You don't have to do a single thing, Rito-san. Just lie there and leave everything to me. I guarantee that it'll be absolutely blissful, just a tiny taste of what heaven's feel (3)* is like~"
To kick, scream, rise, shout, whimper, toss, turn, strike or holler: Rito is unable to do any of these things, only to watch in horror as she descends down upon him.
All remains quiet within the Yuuki household, everywhere except for the bristle of activity emitting from the downstairs living room.
"Ah..! There..! More to the right..!"
"Over here..?"
"Hoohh... A bit lower, Momo..!"
"Would this be the spot?"
"Mm, no..! Overshot... back where you were..."
"Then, is it right here?"
"Woa—! Yeah, that's it! Easy now..! Just a little..! A-Aghhhhhhh—! Haaaa-haaaa! Oooohh..! Aaaah..."
Having reached the climatic finish, Momo returns to her gentle stroking while looking down at the tired, yet satisfied teen, "So how are you doing under there, Rito-san? Isn't this everything I said it would be?"
"Feels so good..! You weren't kidding, Momo... This really is too addicting."
"I'm happy to hear such praise from my #1 customer. Now if only Onee-sama and Nana were here, then we could have a proper gathering."
"Doing us all at the same time..? Ha-ha... That would be a sight to see."
"As flattering as that is, I believe you're overestimating me. It's unlikely this quality level can be maintained if I tried servicing the three of you simultaneously."
"That might be true... but even if your service were only half as good... It'll still be worth it," Rito earnestly replies, never expecting for the life of him that a simple back massage could feel this amazingly good. It was as if all his troubles had simply disappeared and left him without a care in the world. Liberated and at ease, his mouth continues to run on automatic, no longer restrained by any terrible consequences his private thoughts may bring.
"But to think you would have this much soreness and knots along your back, even more so than Onee-sama."
"No surprise there... Lala having back pain and all."
"Oh? What makes you say that?"
"Isn't it obvious..? With breasts that large... stiff shoulders is pretty much a given."
"Oh my, and here I was merely referring to Onee-sama's habit of hunching over for long hours while completely absorbed in her work. But what a surprise. I didn't think you paid much attention to such things."
"It'd be much weirder not to notice... me seeing her naked so many times."
"Still, this is all very informative. So would you be classified as a breast man, Rito-san?" Momo questions in detail. This is all for future reference of course, and whether or not she'll finally have a reason to be jealous of Nana, "You prefer them big like Onee-sama's and Kotegawa-san's?"
"Size doesn't matter... small ones look and feel just as nice."
"So you like them all equally? As expected of Rito-san, spoken like a true harem king should~" the third princess replies, wickedly twisting his pure and wholesome words to her own liking.
"Hmm... still don't know which is better though... Lala's or Haruna-chan's."
"Oh hooo~ So it's Haruna-chan now, not Sairenji? I hadn't realized the two of you were on such good terms with each other."
"Wish that was true... always wanted us to get closer... but it's still no use."
"I wouldn't say that. If anything, Haruna-san would be very pleased if you started addressing her in a more intimate manner."
"really..? do you really think so?"
"Absolutely. And even if that wasn't the case, I'd do all that I could in order to see this happy scenario come true for you," Momo doubtlessly reassures, pauses and then adds, "Has your opinion of me risen a little?"
"just a bit... since you'll do this anyways... whether or not I say it's okay..."
"Oh my, so surprisingly tough. To think that the ever trusting Rito-san would be so harsh as to doubt a pure maiden's heart," she responds with a bit of jest, "But I suppose if you had been any easier, we'd already be seeing the formation of your harem by now..."
"only with you Momo... gotta stay on my toes... you being so tricky and all..."
A few beats pass as her expression turns passive and thoughtful, "... Even still, you don't dislike this side of me, do you?"
"...'course not... something so minor... isn't worth hating over..."
A longer, deeper pause, her hands slowing down to a point where they finally rest to a stop, "... If that's so, then how do you truly feel about me..?"
"...too touchy-feely...want some privacy...and more modesty...always stressful 'round...smells real nice and fresh..."
Her mouth dims into a small, wistful smile; excluding that last part, it's not exactly the most flattering impression she wanted to hear.
"...those things though...don't matter much...not me...
...want...momo...mains...way...she is...
...ays...by...y...
..."
"... And..?" she urges him on with bated breath.
He mumbles something into the cushion that is too soft and inconceivable to hear.
"Rito-san..?" Momo blinks and takes a closer look at him. Yet the only reply the teenager gives is a faint snore as she finds that he had nodded off on her, "Geez... picking such an inconvenient time to fall asleep. And just when I was about to receive the answer from you..."
The minutes tick by in still, reflective silence before she at last closes her eyes and releases a disappointed sigh. With the moment having passed, the only thing she can do now is follow through with her original plans and provide the stressed-out teen with a relaxing massage.
However, Momo can gradually feel her body growing hot all over while her hands freely roam underneath the paper-thin barrier of his cumbersome clothes. Even in the midst of slumber, his distressed, restless face as he squirms away from her most modest touch is just so intoxicatingly cute~!
"It's getting harder and harder, you know, especially when you're this defenseless right in front of me..." she fondly informs him in the tiniest hope that he might hear, "It would be a small thing for me to have my way with you here and now..."
However, any naughty thoughts of foreplay will have to be saved for another day as the sound of the front door creaking open can faintly be heard.
"Rito.! Can you help me bring some of these bags in.?!" Mikan's voice shouts from the front entrance, making her presence known to those within earshot.
"Oh my. It sounds like your sister is back," Momo remarks as she continues carrying on a one-sided conversation with the sleeping teen, "In order to reconfirm the depth of her feelings for you, it could do well if she caught us together like this. Who knows? This may even trigger her into taking action much like before."
"Hey, Rito.!" Mikan yells again before shutting the door and whispering to herself, "Is he not here..?"
A set of footsteps makes its way down the corridor, just moments away from reaching the living room area.
Yet to the teen's good fortune, Momo remembers to restrain herself and sighs with much regret, "Such a shame really. If only I was a little less sincere in wishing you a carefree break today...
Oh well. It wasn't too bad I suppose, our time pleasantly spent idling away," she quietly admits. Then with the tiniest of grins, she whispers softly into his ear in a tone that, had Rito been awake, would have definitely sent shivers down his spine, "Though please erase any silly thoughts that I'll be holding myself back a second time~"
Mikan rounds that last corner just a split second after Momo zips away and takes a proper seat by the kotatsu (4)* adjacent from the sofa.
"Welcome home, Mikan-san. Celine-san," she casually greets while sitting there, the picture of perfect composure.
"Mau, mau!" Celine responds from atop Mikan's shoulder while carrying the all-important leek stick in her hand. She jumps down and trots over, hopping onto the princess' lap as she happily chats about her day.
"I see. For being so cute and adorable, the market seller gave you two an extra discount on all the fruits and vegetables? Such a good girl you are, following exactly what I taught you," Momo praises as she pats the silky petals on top of Celine's head.
Mikan, however, remains standing at the threshold of the living room, taking in the all-too-innocent scene before her, "This looks way too suspicious... The TV isn't even on, so what could Momo-san possibly be doing with Rito while we were gone?"
The thought plagues her like bad tooth decay, this strange gut feeling that something provocative just happened here.
Eventually, she pushes those thoughts aside, having reasoned that it can't be anything too extreme since they're still both fully clothed. Upon receiving this minor reassurance, Mikan directs her sight onto her snoozing brother, "As if he didn't get enough sleep already, now Rito's just lounging around the house?"
Not really expecting an answer, she becomes a bit surprised when Momo speaks up for him, "It's perfectly understandable. After all, he's been working hard out in the yard from the moment you left."
Mikan turns her gaze and looks on, amazed, upon spotting the stockpile of roots lying outside, "Woah... so Rito pulled all those out in just a couple of hours?"
"That's right, and he did it all on his own. It goes without saying that anyone would be left feeling both exhausted and famished after an undertaking like this."
As if on cue, a rumbling growl penetrates the airspace and both girls reflexively turn towards the source of the noise. Rito grimaces, turns onto his side and scratches his exposed belly in his sleep; the grumbling of his stomach all but confirming the princess' story.
"Honestly..." Mikan mutters in exasperation while Momo giggles in amusement. Rito can act way too juvenile at times, and it's situations like this which makes her feel embarrassed for him as his younger sister.
Having overlooked the interruption, Momo attracts the other girl's attention with a slight gesture and resumes, "Before, you mentioned there being groceries still out in the front, isn't that right? Instead of disturbing Rito-san's slumber, how about I be the one to carry those into the kitchen?"
"Would you? That would be a big help."
"It's no trouble at all," Momo modestly replies before putting Celine down and rising to her feet.
"The heavier bags are lying outside by the gate, so just take your time bringing them in," Mikan adds while watching her leave the living room. Meanwhile, Celine takes this joyous occasion to jump onto the sleeping teen, giving his face a patented, full-body hug. Her show of affection, however, blocks off his air circulation and soon causes Rito to wake from his nap with a gasping start.
"Gah-haaahh—! Celine! You little rascal..." he grumbles in irritation after prying her away from his face, yet Rito simply can't stay mad at the petite flower girl who's beaming at him with innocent adoration. He then glances sideways and takes notice of his sister's presence inside the room, "Oh, Mikan, welcome back. You're home early."
"Just how long do you think I've been gone for? It's already starting to get dark outside if you haven't noticed," Mikan responds, briefly wondering where her brother's mind was at, before heading towards the kitchen. She would have returned sooner if not for her two classmates whom she had met along the way and insisted on carrying everything she had purchased today. Truthfully, she had been hoping to run into Yami at the shopping district instead; her trans ability just as reliable and her company much more enjoyable than those fickle boys who helped out solely to win her favor.
Just as she places the groceries onto the kitchen counter, another rumbling growl resounds so loudly that Mikan has no trouble hearing it from where she's at. She glances back at her brother, now sitting upright on the sofa with a hand over his stomach and a sheepish expression on his face, "A-haha... So, guess dinner won't be until the usual time, huh? Maybe about an hour from now?"
Mikan resumes sorting out the necessary ingredients for tonight's meal before she puts on her apron, well aware of what Rito really wanted to ask but was being too polite to suggest it outright, "I was planning to start once Nana-san got back. But I guess it can't be helped, what with you being on the verge of starvation and all."
"Really? Thanks a bunch, Mikan! You're a real lifesaver."
"Honestly... it's a small wonder how you'll ever manage to live on your own."
"That's for sure. I don't know what I'd ever do without you," Rito happily admits, unabashed in the slightest at his own confession.
Her cheeks taking on a rosy tint, she turns back around and tries to nonchalantly reply, "Go ahead and rest some more if you're still feeling tired. I'll call you up when dinner's ready, okay?"
Soon enough, the clamoring chorus of pots and pans can be heard as Mikan wastes no time getting to work. With those enticing, sweet aromas whiffing from the kitchen, sleep is the very last thing on Rito's mind, his thoughts freely musing over what tasty dishes his sister is delightfully preparing.
"Mau?"
He glances down at his lap and notices Celine has been curiously looking up at him for quite some time now, "Hm..? Just what are you staring so hard at?"
"Mau, mau..!" the flower girl exclaims while plucking something from atop his head and proudly showing off her discovery. Looking at the pretty pink strand of hair, it's just about the length of—
"By the way, Rito. How do you feel about having spicy curry for tonight's dinn...ner..."
Yet Mikan trails off after catching sight of the hair strand from across the living room. And being the good little helper that she is, Celine trots over to the brunette and raises both arms up for clearer display, "Mau!"
"..."
A drop of curry sauce drips from the ladle Mikan is holding as a dark look starts eclipsing her face.
"I-I-It's not what you're thinking!" Rito states while waving his hands up in front of himself, a reflex action long engraved into the core of his very being, yet she merely responds by continuing to stare back at him with bland displeasure, "Like I said..! Momo was just giving me a massage earlier because I was so stressed-out! We didn't do anything else besides that!"
"Ah, is that so. Momo-san did?" she replies, deadpanned: her best imitation of Yami yet. All the while Rito is starting to get the distinct impression that his sister's ears have just crossed the line into selective hearing.
Wondering how best to clarify things for her, a peculiar thought suddenly occurs to him, "And just why are you getting so upset for in the first place?"
It was a valid inquiry. He has always known Mikan to be a reasonable, tolerant sister, one whom he's very proud of. So it just seems weird for her to be making a fuss over nothing when there had been many other compromising incidents which had placed his virtue into greater question.
"I'm not mad. Does this look like I'm angry to you?" she acutely remarks and Rito swallows back a ready retort; if not for the rhetorical question, he would have most assuredly disagreed. It seems that pointing out her atypical behavior only served to worsen her mood, "My gosh... every single day's the same with you. Especially with Momo-san no less..."
Mikan returns to the kitchen with Celine in tow, hearing no more of his excuses as she has promptly given up on him. Once again, Rito can feel his "big brother stock" pummeling, and the angry protests from his empty stomach only serves to drag down his spirits. Somehow he just knows that white rice will be the only thing to grace his dinner plate tonight.
"And even after I want through all the trouble to prevent this very thing from happening," Momo comments with groceries in hand as she reenters the living room and walks up besides him, "But I suppose it's just like Rito-san to be so masterful at creating misunderstandings."
Wearily, the teenager casts a sideways glance at her. If not for the fact that his most precious and yet-to-be-used member is in constant danger around Momo, he would have liked to request another massage at a future date, "Don't make it sound like you weren't involved..."
She looks up at him and offers a consolation smile in return, "Cheer up, Rito-san. There's still a chance to clear things up with your sister if we both sat down and talked to her now. Surely this situation can be easily remedied, especially since this is a rare instance where nothing truly occurred."
Despite her good intentions, that does little to reassure Rito as he catches a tiny, yet critical detail regarding her statement, "Wait a second. So you mean all those other timess—!"
He's abruptly stopped in mid-sentence, however, due to Momo hushing him with a delicate finger pressed against his lips, "Though this mouth may say one thing, those wandering hands of yours tell quite the different story. Even Mikan-san will vouch for that."
She then withdraws her finger away, places it besides her own mouth and services him with a cute wink. Rito is left unblinking as he only now begins processing her words, his mind still preoccupied with the minutely feel of her touch, "Y-You gotta be joking. I mean, there's just no way..."
But the more he thought about it, the harder it became to write his sensual exploits off as mere coincidence. Despite his ongoing efforts, his hands and face do always seem to find their way in and around the female anatomy no matter how improbable the situation may be.
He shakes his head and feverishly denies that lone possibility; Momo's just putting these crazy thoughts into his mind so that she can lead him down the sexually deviant path, right?
"Ufufufuu..." she lightly laughs while turning about, tilting her head back and tossing him a suggestive look that spoke otherwise, "If that's what provides you comfort, Rito-san, then please go on and continue thinking just that~"
With that said, she proceeds to take the bags into the kitchen while his gaze can only follow after her. It isn't until she rounds that last corner and vanishes from his line of sight does Rito feel totally drained of energy.
He crashes back onto the sofa, looks to the ceiling and releases a long-drawn sigh that tells the tale of his #1 trouble. After these past few months of living together, Yuuki Rito has come to the resounding conclusion that he'll never be able to handle the third princess of the entire galactic empire, Momo Velia Deviluke.
(1) : From Disney's "Aladdin." Famous last words of the main villain, Jafar. Truth be told, I have no idea what possessed me to put this sort of line in here...
(2) : Episode 52 of the TV cartoon "The Simpsons." Back during its golden era when the series was still good.
(3) : Official title name for the one of the three main routes in the visual novel "Fate/Stay Night."
(4) : Basically, a kotatsu is about the height of a coffee table, covered by an overlaying futon and has a built-in heater under it. Nice and toasty during chilly days. For a better idea on what it is and how it's used, look up other anime series like "Minami-ke."