Note: Part 1 of 3.
Part 1 was made to define state the characters are in after the end of ATLA. If you're looking for a fast-paced Fanfic with less backstory, Start with Chapter 2. And if you're just here for Smut, I would recommend starting with Chapter 2, Subsection "Mystery". ;) Enjoy.
ColdThe night was brisk; easily the coldest in decades. Overlooking the balcony, he peered towards rainclouds, fingers growing numb as they pressed against glass. It isn't quite snow, but it's as close as it can get in these parts. Chilled winds howled outside, forcing the trees with a choice: bend or break. He backed away from the windowsill, his fingers regaining its senses as he tucked them into his robes. The night was cold, but his room was colder still.
Closed doors stood with crimson curtains drawn, trying, but failing to keep out the effects of the storm. Three weeks of night-rains to date. Gusts with ice-cold droplets pelted themselves against his walls, causing door and windows to tremble. The outer winds snaked through cracks and hinges alike, leaving a persistent whistle in the air. He liked the whistling. It sounded like an old spirit's song.
He turned away from the downpour, looking towards his chambers. Lit candles flickered alongside his bedside stand, his white marble walls reflected fire, turning faint glow to radiant light. The left of his room sported a blood-red couch, big enough to sleep in, embroidered with patterns of dancing dragons. The right held a small desk placed before a large mirror which was topped off by the symbol of the sun. And at the center, painted by shades of ochre and gold, a woman courting sleep lay beneath his sheets.
However, as the walls gave the room the ambiance of toasty intimacy, so too did it soak in the outside chill, amplifying windy cool into biting freeze. Though, in this room, he did not feel the cold. To most, the room was akin to arctic cavern, its icy grip clutching skin and piercing bone. It was perfect for them: the room kept other people out.
Shambling towards silken beddings, he stopped only to snuff out the fires. Their phantom flames were unnecessary, for they provided only false warmth. His person housed the real thing in abundance. And if his partner didn't want to partake of that tonight, at least she was accustomed to the cold.
Under the covers, he moved to spoon her, first placing hand upon hip, before shifting his body closer against hers. Her skin was cool to touch and produced goose bumps as fingers trailed along the reach of her arm. A flash briefly brightened their room, leaving just as quickly as it had arrived. A loud crack resonated thereafter: lightning. There was enough of that here already, he reckoned. Tinges of electricity leaped off his fingertips as they brushed against her smooth skin. She shivered, letting out a pleased mewl. He remembered how she always loved that. With dim light the few stars provided, though he definitely could have navigated her blindfolded, he brought his cheek upon the crook of her neck. Nesting himself there, he then took her in: her scent was of the sea.
Across the hall, fierce winds renewed its assault as he pressed himself against her back, the pounding against the walls matching its pace with his heartbeat. Fingers continued alongside the path of her outstretched arm until they found themselves locked with hers. Her skin was as soft as snow, he thought to himself as his thumb drew circles on her. Gentle, calming snow, he muttered to himself, reminiscing of their first meeting, several years past.
The hand on her hip soon found itself displaced, wrapping further around her waist as he pulled closer, his warmth passing into her. She shifted under the sheets, deeply exhaling, her hand giving his a gentle squeeze. Then, he placed his lips upon her, planting a warm kiss upon her nape. And then another.
"Stop." She mumbled, her speech slurring as sleep briefly relinquished her from its grasp.
"But, I wasn't even doing…" He protested, with lips still pressed against skin; the downpour intensified. But she interrupted him, her tone now resolute. "Please. Not tonight."
He sighed, leaning his head where lips once lay, before rolling away from her. He sat up and relit the candles with a snap of his fingers, flames shrieking softly as they revived from ash-covered wicks. Leaning against the wooden bedpost, he stared back towards his frigid room. And at her. Outside, the rain continued its whirling dance. In his mind, zephyr's melody had changed from supportive catcall into sarcastic hoot. There would have been silence, but for the whistling of the wind. He liked the whistling much less now. And he was starting again to feel the cold. "Katara."
His back, slumped, his voice, burdened. "We need to talk."
ConflictWith candlelight shining upon face, Katara yanked up sheets over her head, shielding herself from slumber's bane. "Can't it wait til morning?" He considered it for but a second, before resolving himself by shaking his head. This has to be done tonight, or I'll let this slide. Again. "No, Katara. It has to be now."
Pulling the blanket down from her face, she rolled out of the sheets, revealing herself to him, hair disheveled from comfort's embrace. "Okay..." Katara rose, inching herself towards the headboard to sit next to him. His breath escaped him: seeing her fresh out of bed always did that. Candlelight always hits her in the right ways. "Tell me what this is about, Zuko."
"It's… This." Zuko gestured his hands first towards himself then to her. He looked into her eyes, unsure how to begin, his breath still lost on the winds. Again, there was silence. Silence and a screech that sounded like a stray firecracker failing to fly and falling to the ground. Damn, that storm.
"You've stopped being… intimate." We. He meant to say 'We' there. Breaking eye contact, he shook his head and stared blankly at his carpets. He hadn't meant to be that blunt. Katara leaned against him, taking his hand with hers and stroked the back of his palm with the other. "Zuko…"
He was done talking. In his mind, there had been so much to say, but everything would only rehash the base idea. It was now up to her how to respond. Katara placed her hand under Zuko's chin then pulled his face up to reset his gaze towards her, before planting a gentle kiss on his lips. Pity. Not exactly what he was looking for.
Regardless, Zuko returned the kiss, but soon placed hands on her shoulders to gently push her away, leaving behind a pouting Katara. He brushed his thumb against her lower lip then placed hand upon cheek, stroking gently to prove that pulling away was not from his lack of want. Katara's pout lessened, causing him to smile, which she returned in kind. Clearly, she needed more convincing on his earlier concerns. "Katara, you used to want to fall asleep in my arms every night. But now…" Katara's brow furrowed, the pout returned and she interrupted him.
"Zuko, I know we've both been really busy these past few weeks, but I promise things will get better. Maybe, right now, we just don't have the time with of all of the stuff that's been happening." Regardless of her pleas, his urge of the present persisted. He would never be too busy to be with her. Shouldn't these feelings fall both ways, he wondered. Katara continued her speech. "I mean, your Uncle Iroh's been teaching me some firebending forms. He thinks they could have some use with advancing my waterbending."
Are you really telling me that my uncle is the reason for this… blockage? He never thought that Iroh would ever be the cause of him feeling the way he did now: restrained. Katara kept going. "And these days, you haven't had much time to be anything else but the Fire Lord." Wait. Hold on. Again there was silence. They sat next to each other, looking into one another's eyes; one set caring, the other quizzical. I've been busy? But I've been trying. This doesn't make sense. They sat there, alone with silence and the wind. I am not going to take the blame for this: not for being the Fire Lord. With a scoff, he shook his head at her.
"Katara, tell how does me doing my duty as Fire Lord have anything to do with you being such an Ice Queen?" Zuko knew the moment he heard himself speak that this would cause an enormous backlash: anybody who knew Katara would have known that. Although Zuko knew he was simply speaking his mind, he couldn't help but remember words from his uncle. "You lack restraint."
With equal parts resolve and regret, he anticipated her coming storm. Katara burst out, jumping out of bed as soon as she started yelling. "ICE QUEEN!? I have been NOTHING but PATIENT with you! Tell me just what is so IMPORTANT that you feel the NEED to have THIS kind of conversation at the middle of the night!?" Zuko stood up, matching her eye to eye to reply.
"I've already told you the problem, Katara! My Honor…" Raising his voice to a woman: another misstep. Agni, I am NOT good with words tonight. Maybe I should've waited 'til morning. Zuko bit his tongue in frustration asshe cut him off again, throwing her hands in the air as protest. "YOUR HONOR!? SPIRITS! Is THAT what this is all about!? ZUKO! PRIDE is NOT the same thing as HONOR!" That stung. His resolve began to wane, replaced in kind by remorse. Not for what he had said, he meant it, but because his 'Honor' was only digging him deeper. She was akin to the outside storm, and he, the trees. Zuko thought he only had two options: bend, or break. But there was a third, and she made the decision for him.
"Do you REALLY want to know why WE haven't been 'intimate'!?" She drew quote marks in the air as she said the last word.
"It's because these days, YOU'VE been SO…" She paused for a moment, almost as if she was going to regret what she was going to say. The words he expected her to say blew through Zuko's mind. Moronic. Insensitive. Dense. Like Sokka: that one stung the last time she had said it. Then, the word came.
"Tame." Letting the steam out, Katara's anger subsided. With fury fled, only sadness remained. "Tame?" That was unexpected. And it cut far deeper than anything he was prepared for. He was used to angry Katara. But not this. Zuko slowly made his way around their bed towards her. "What do you mean?"
She sighed in frustration, planting palm on her forehead as she shook her head at him. "Look… Zuko, you're a firebender, right?" Clearly. He almost said it out loud, but his uncle's voice stopped him. "Restraint. Have I not taught you anything, Zuko?" Not wanting to antagonize her further, he simply nodded.
"Well, it's just that these days, I've been seeing the bender in you… but not so much the fire." With the last word, Katara placed her hand onto his chest. He looked down at her palm then back at her, his eyes begging the question. Through his robe, it felt as if cold fingers gripped at his heart, pleading with him to reignite spark to keep it still aflame. Zuko placed his hand on hers then instinctively moved to hold her but Katara stepped back. Despite keeping her distance, she looked at him with eyes of longing. But clearly, she felt something far greater than that: loneliness. "I'm not the one who's stopped being intimate, Zuko..."
"I miss the passion. Your passion. Not for who I am here…" Katara placed her other hand on her breast. Her words pierced through him, Iroh's voice returning. "There are two sides to every story. Conflicts can arise when one interprets facts differently." The Guilt sank in; enveloping him like a crashing wave does to the sand. "Intimacy is not the same thing as libido." Zuko's brain froze for a moment, mentally blocking the thought of his uncle lecturing him on the carnal ways of being human. She continued. "But for who I am. Entirely."
Katara slid her hand down from his chest then took a step back. "We used to make time… Not just for the bedroom" Have I not been paying attention to her during the day? Agni, have my only interactions with her been here at night these past weeks? "but for everything else too."
That answered his question. "Apologize to her, Zuko. Now." Sorry. He meant to say it, but his lips would not budge. Say it, damn you. He clenched his fists and grimaced. "Listen to yourself, Zuko." More enquiries flooded his mind: her words had opened the floodgates. How badly had he neglected her? How many conversations had she tried were left unattended in favor of 'Fire Lord Business'? One? Seven? Thirty? Was he not making her feel appreciated? The barrage of questions continued, but still, he stood stubborn. She sighed heavily, her voice weakening as she continued.
"You used to make me want to fall asleep in your arms every night. But now…" Katara looked away from him, but not before he saw the first tear fall. "In life, Fire Lord Zuko, we must all make our decisions then stand by them. Your 'Honor' or her: you must choose." When things became clear to him, there was no question which he held dearer. At that moment, nothing else mattered to him. Intimacy, no, he corrected himself: libido. Honor, wrong again: Pride. All that mattered was Katara.
Zuko rushed at her then took her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest. "I apologize." She sniffled, clutching the sleeve of his robe as she leaned against him. Zuko rarely gave apologies, making this all the more meaningful for them both. He planted a chaste kiss upon her forehead then clung to her tighter, almost as if he would never let her go. "Katara, I love you. I'm so sorry…" Her sobbing subsided.Silence. They stood there with her in his arms in silence. Again, her touch was no longer cold. The rain poured, but the winds blew no more.
ReflectionBlanketed by a comforter's warm embrace, Zuko sat slumped against his couch, listening to the ongoing storm. The patter of raindrops tapped gently against their windows as clouds parted revealing pale mood for the first time in days. With both candle's glow and moon's shine, the room grew brighter. Zuko had always noticed how Katara's skin shimmered under Yue's watch, but now, as he combed through her hair's unwelcome strands, she seemed much more radiant.
Zuko's eyes drifted towards the mirror across the hall; there he saw a picture of a comfortably content Katara resting on his lap. I love having her here with me. He contemplated all the other reflections that could have been;he smiled that of all possible outcomes, he got the best. Even a faux Katara was captivating. Then he saw her smile as well. How did she know? Katara's eyes were closed. "I missed this, Zuko." His gaze did not waver, but, quizzically, he voiced his query. "You mean me fixing your loopies?"
"No. The fighting. I missed the fighting." Odd. Her voice held no sarcasm.
"You mean us always being at our throats, trying to kill each other?" Zuko let out a light chuckle, his fingers now drawing along her neck, where the lights converged on her skin as he continued to watch her through the looking glass. "Seriously. Do you?"
"Yes." That got him to break eye contact with himself. Zuko 's body grew rigid, his eyebrow arching upwards from both confusion and shock. When he looked down, her eyes were now open, her lips carrying an embarrassed smile. Discomfort clear on his expression, Katara changed her answer. "No?" Zuko rolled his eyes before shaking his head. Agni, she knows what she wants but can't make up her mind. He gently jabbed a finger at her rib. "Tell me."
"Well… A little." Middle ground. That didn't help at all.
"So you like me better as your enemy, then?" His poked her again, carrying slightly more force this time. The image of another timeline wherein he lived a life without her upset him. Still, the undertone was playful, as he did not dwell on 'what ifs'; there were too many of them. Katara sat up from his lap then placed one hand where she once lay and the other on his cheek, just below his scar. "I didn't say that, Zuko. I liked the fights; and the making up part most of all." Truth be told, to a degree, he missed it too. Most of the times that they were brought together involved fighting.
Katara continued her speech. "I like you better when you're passionate about something. You were passionate when chased the Avatar." That was obsession. "You were passionate when you chased me." That was attraction. "But now that the chase is over, where do we go from here?"
Zuko smirked back at her and replied with absolute confidence. "We'll find something to chase together." This is love. He then finished off with a toothy grin. "Besides, knowing you, we're bound to get into more fights."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Katara frowned at him then pinched his side. Zuko winced but laughed nonetheless. "Nothing. I'm just…" Zuko leaned in closer to her; she blushed. "Looking forward to being with you." Then, he pressed his forehead onto hers and he looked into her eyes. In every way.
As if telepathically she understood him, Katara grabbed the collar of his robe and, leaning back to lay on the couch, pulled him into a kiss. Zuko soon found himself breathless and on top of her. I missed this, he thought to himself, as his brain switched off entirely at the feel of her hands against his back, pushing him further down onto her. His mouth moved on its own, self-control abandoned, as he took Katara's lips in full. Pressed against her, his want grew as the kisses continued. With every breath he took, he tasted her sweet lipgloss: Icecherries.
However, it ended as quickly as it had started; a short, passionate kiss. Her tongue grazed his lower lip before pulling away, sheepish grin plastered on her face. Their heated exchange had left his chest aflame, his stomach in a pit and his lips on fire. And in the end, Zuko was left with a triad of emotions: disappointment, confusion, and arousal. "What was that for?" And why did we stop?
"That was for being intimate. And passionate. About us." So why did we stop? Zuko blankly stared down at her with his body pinning her down, his breath hitched and his 'honor 'pressed against her. Katara giggled then rubbed her nose against his: a Southern Tribesman's kiss. "So we could talk more, Zuko."
Agni, she knows me too well. For the first time in a long while, Zuko blushed, forcing him to awkwardly roll off of her then hold her from behind to hide embarrassed state. As he looked back at the mirror across the hall, Katara continued her emotional push. "Do you remember the first time we did that?"He wasn't willing to go through more of her taunting.
"You mean when I crashed into you after I got up? When you were healing me after that fight with Azula?" Counter-attack. Zuko felt a jab from her elbow hit his rib. "That one doesn't count." The pout she had on earlier returned.
"Why not?" Zuko had always considered that moment dear to him, despite the bloody lip he ended up getting from the impact of teeth against teeth. "Because accidents don't count." A frown now joined her moping expression. He placed his hand onto her sides then began to stroke her in a calming fashion, watching their reflection as he did. She clearly wanted to remember their trip to Hira'a after the war as day zero of their relationship. They do. "No, I guess they don't." She nodded before letting out a soft sigh, letting her body drop back against him.
To her, that moment during the day of the comet was just happenstance; a mistake, albeit she later admitted after much prodding, that it was a pleasant one. Mistakes sure get things going sometimes, though. Without them, we wouldn't be here. Katara took his hand and held it against the center of her chest. Zuko could feel her heartbeat quicken. "Enjoying the view?" Zuko nodded. She was watching me too? Through the glass, their eyes met. Time stopped and, there, he saw across the room the many roads they had not taken.
It hadn't always been like this; far from it. Zuko recalled their first encounter in the South Pole. He was known as Prince Zuko then, and her, the only remaining Waterbender in her tribe. When they met, Zuko paid no attention to her, and though her eyes were only on him, the desire she held was entirely different. If that path had played out, only one of them would be here today.
The conflict between them lasted over a year, but soon ended when he helped her track down her mother's killer. That was when they started to form a sort of bond; they were friends at that time, definitely. He would've been content with friendship. Content, but not happy. That path would've most likely ended with Katara and Aang getting together. Katara had once told him that a fortune teller had predicted she would marry a powerful bender; she had personally only known two who fit the bill.
Lastly, despite all effort to block it out, his mind drifted towards their time spent in the cave at Ba Sing Se. She had offered to heal him; from there, the paths split into a multitude of outcomes, none of them good. There was a vision of her curing the burn on his face. Despite that, he betrayed her anyway, causing the death of the Avatar. Another path explored the outcome of him siding with her, but dying on that same day; he had not yet learned to redirect lightning. The route he chose was one of the harsher ones. But as he looked back, he was satisfied. This path was definitely the best. Because it led them to now.
She interrupted his daydreaming. "You know, I love finding out new things about you." Katara crossed her arms against her chest, holding his hand down against her heartbeat. "It makes my heart race." I can tell.
"It's like whenever I do, I get to see you from a different angle; a reflection of you that I can fall in love with all over again." Zuko felt her press her back against his chest. Her eyes were closed again. "Tell me a secret, Zuko."
There were many things he kept from her. Not because he had things to hide, but because he hadn't considered them important: Fire Lord business mostly. Here I go not letting her in again. He considered his options. There was that time when he was obsessed with Turtle-Ducks. Not interesting enough. How about when he had seen a dragon? No, some things are meant to be kept secret. When June had thought that she was his girlfriend? She knew that already when the bounty hunter had brought it up during their hunt for Aang.
Between the things that he didn't find interesting enough, and those that Katara already knew, Zuko couldn't think of anything moderately appropriate to share with her. Save one.
"Well, there was this one time when I had a fire nation bounty on my head." Zuko casually stated, garnering an expected response. "That isn't exactly a secret, Zuko. Everyone knew you left the Fire Nation to train Aang."
"I had two bounties. This was before that." There was a brief pause.
"Wait." Rolling out of their couch, Katara pulled away from his embrace and got up. "WHAT?" She stared at him, her arms up in the air, surprise splattered across her face. "Why didn't I know about this sooner?" He knew that she always loved gossip. And this bit was as juicy as it could get. No harm dragging this on longer. So he continued to make it juicier.
"I ended up beating up a lot of Fire Nation soldiers. And they didn't even know it was me." Espionage. Katara's eyes widened, her jaw slightly dropping. Fan the flames. "At one point, I even ended up freeing a really important Prisoner of War." And intrigue.
"Okay, now you have GOT to tell me how you did all that without anyone finding out." Katara grew edgy, her curiosity slowly turning into frustration. Should I tell her now? Zuko considered for a moment but as he looked once more into the mirror, he opted for another path. Let's make things more interesting. He turned back towards her and stared deep into the Azure of her eyes. Through them, Zuko saw himself how she saw him now. He was a mystery. To her, he had donned an undistinguishable mask.
"I've got a better idea, Katara." Zuko grinned. "I'll show you."