AUTHOR'S NOTE: Unfortunately, I own nothing but my original story, and Stephenie Meyer owns all the good stuff! ( well please review and maybe give me some ideas for the next chapter! D
Emmet waved goodbye to Carlisle and then turned to the fridge to start reading the assortment of post-it-notes from Edward (Instructing him how to take care of Bella), Alice (Instructing him on what clothing is appropriate for Bella to leave the house in) Esme (Instructing Emmet on safety) and Rosalie (Love notes).
Emmet pulled one of Edward's notes off the fridge and it said "Don't You Dare Wake Bella Up! Make Bella soup when she is hungry." Emmet walked over to the cupboard, pulled open the door and looked at the assortment of cans. He decided to go with Chicken Noodle, because he knew Bella liked Chicken. He grabbed the can from the bottom of the pile and suddenly they all fell on his toe! He started to yell in pain and then clamped his hand over his mouth remembering Edward's warning not to wake Bella up.
He picked up all the dented cans hopping on one foot. After he finally put them all away (but not without a few accidents along the way!) he squinted at the instructions on the side of the can and read "Open can with Can Opener." Emmet walked over to the drawer and pulled on the handle but it was stuck. He pulled harder and then the handle broke off! Emmet growled under his breath and pulled on the sides of the drawer with so much force he fell and the drawer went flying past him and into the wall scattering it's contents all over the room. Emmet swearing under his breath stood up to clean the mess, slipped on a spoon and hit his head on the wall. He looked at the wall that now sported a huge dent and whimpered, thinking of Esme's reaction.
Emmet stood up and looked at the assortment of cooking utensils on the floor, and decided that he would make Bella's soup before sorting them into their proper places. He went into the cupboard and found a garbage bag, then threw all the cooking utensils into it. Then Emmet picked up the soup can to read what to do. "Open can with Can Opener." he read, and then looked around and realized that he had put the can opener in the garbage bag with the other cooking utensils. Emmet growled and then shoved his head into the bag too look for it, but the can opener was nowhere to be seen. Emmet then realized that the can opener was in a different drawer then he had first thought.
Now trying to contain his anger, he walked over to the proper drawer and carefully pulled it open. Emmet looked down and then winced, then stuck his hand in the drawer full of sharp steak knives and began digging around for the can opener. He finally pulled it out, and then grumbling under his breath about "why would a person even put a can opener in the knife drawer?" and then slammed the drawer shut, causing Carlisle's original Leonardo de Vinci painting to fall. Emmet caught the painting and then decided that he would re-hang it later. He stuck it into the garbage bag with the cutlery in it and then picked up the can opener. Emmet was about to put the can opener against the can, when he realized that the blade was dull.
Exasperated, Emmet tried to figure out a way to sharpen the blade, when he looked at the clock. He realized that his favorite morning cartoon was on, and turned on the t.v. with a huge grin. He saw a commercial about kitchen knives, and got an idea. Emmet got one of the steak knives and began sharpening the blade, just as his cartoon started.
30 minutes later...
The cartoon ended, and Emmet looked down just in time to see himself deliver the final stroke that cut the table in half. He realized that while he had been "sharpening" the blade on the can opener, he had been distracted and ended up cutting through the table! Whimpering at the thought of what Esme was going to do to him, he tried putting the table halves back together. It didn't work.
Now wondering how he would be able to open the can, Emmet thought of using the knife he held in his hand. With great determination he shoved the knife into the can and popped off the lid showering himself and the kitchen with cold soup. Emmet read the next direction on the can "Pour soup into medium sized bowl for one serving. If the bowl is not full you may need to add some more soup."
Emmet pulled a "Medium sized bowl" (in his mind anyway!) out of the cupboard, but because of wet soup on the handle, he pulled a bit harder then intended and the door ended half way off it's hinges. Resigned that today was not going to be a good day, Emmet poured the can into the bowl, realizing that it was not close to filling the bowl he proceeded to empty 10 more cans into the bowl, in various flavors. He then read the next instructions "Put bowl into Microwave, on high, for 1:30." "Wow," Emmet said, "Human food sure takes a long time to cook!" And then put the bowl in for 1 hour and 30 minutes.
"Well, what can I do to pass the time?" he asked himself. Emmet walked into the living room and noticed Jasper's cell phone on the table. With a diabolical grin he picked it up, randomly chose some one on the contact list and then proceeded to send them a long rude e-mail. As he clicked send, his cell phone began to beep and he opened it. "One new message!" it beeped at him. Emmet clicked on the message and then read the long rude e-mail that he had just spent 15 minutes sending from Jasper's phone. Growling, he grabbed Jasper's phone and stomped on it like a little kid. He looked down and then looked away, thinking of the pain that Jasper was going to cause him.
To earn brownie points, Emmet decided to do some of Jasper's chores like taking out the garbage. He grabbed the bag from the kitchen doorway, and then the kitchen garbage can. Emmet wandered back into the kitchen and decided to read Esme's notes on safety, as he read them he became more and more concerned, they all told him things like: "Remember, the cutlery drawer sticks so don't pull too hard!" and "The can opener has disposable blades, so it doesn't need to be sharpened!" Emmet grew more and more depressed, and then he finally reached the last note, which read: "Remember Emmet, 1:30 means one minute and 30 seconds!" He looked up panicked, just in time to see the microwave blow up all over the kitchen!
As Emmet sat there fuming, covered in soup, Bella came downstairs. "What was that huge...WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!" she asked. Emmet moaned, "I might as well start cleaning up." he said. Then he looked around panicked, because he couldn't find the garbage bag with Esme's prized 100 year old spoon collection, or Carlisle's De Vinci Painting. "Where, WHERE DID IT GO?!" he screamed, "WHERE'S MY GARBAGE BAG??" "You mean that bag that the Garbage Truck just drove away with?" Bella asked innocently. Emmet looked at Bella and then began banging his head against the door. His head then went through the door, just in time to see Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and Edward coming up the front walk.