A/N: This was inspired by the song "Pocket Change" by One Less Reason. I hope you enjoy, it was actually quite interesting to write. Some lyrics are embedded- I recommend listening to the song before or while reading.

Disclaimer: I don't own the song or anime.

Brother, I think I'm starting to forget.

You were always the one to remind me of a place we traveled, someone we met, or a feeling we shared- even a single word would jog my memory. Now, well… it's getting hard to reminisce without you.

Is this what's supposed to happen after awhile? Am I meant to just let memories disintegrate until all I remember is that I had them once upon a time? That scares me, Brother.

I want to remember you for the rest of my life: the way your eyes shone when we were on the trail of the Philosopher's stone, how you smelled like machine oil and cedar-scented aftershave, and how you flashed that crooked smile when you knew everything was going to be okay.

I can't imagine not knowing these things, but I can tell they're already fading.

The moment I got my body back was like you had returned from a long trip, like something about you had been missing from the night you attached my soul to that suit of armor.

You held me with your mismatched arms, held me so tight I thought you'd never let me go. You told me I was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. You looked at me with those shining eyes and that crooked smile, and I was home. God, if I ever forget that I don't know what I'll do, Brother. My thoughts of you are everything to me. You are everything to me.

I still can't believe you're gone- it feels like you're here with me in a way, just out of my reach. It's as if I carry you in a padlocked box around my neck, but I've lost the key.

Sometimes I'm happy just to feel anything from you at all, but most of the time it's torture. I can't touch your skin, see your golden eyes, or smell machine oil and cedar aftershave. It's like I'm back in my armor: getting vague impressions rather than actual sensations.

Your last letter from the Drachman border was succinct, almost too formal for you, but I can't imagine a more difficult task than telling your little brother you were dying. I didn't read past the first paragraph before I was on a train to find you. You told me you'd miss me, and you loved me. You told me to live, to really live, for the both of us. I didn't want to read it, didn't want it to sink in, so I put the letter away.

You were gone before I'd left Risembool. When I arrived at the northern border, General Mustang approached me and told me what had happened. When you wrote the letter, you were in the hospital. Of course you went down protecting the ranks of Amestrian soldiers from enemy cannon fire. My brother, Edward Elric, was the hero of the Great Battle: he saved thousands of lives.

Not like I expected anything less. I'm proud to be your brother.

I'm proud, but you left too soon and I don't want to forget.

I can't let you die again. I won't let you die again.

I love you, Brother.

A/N: Reviews are love!