Alone again, you always think that it I would get used to this pain, this cavity in my chest but I don't. Every time the pain strikes like a fresh knife and cuts out what you have built up. This was the countless time, she had rejected me. It was the longest time we had been together; I had never had a friend for as long as her, and now she was leaving me. For the first time I had talked with someone about my soul, I had given up on my life. She completed me, she was my other half and I couldn't live without her. It was so dark before. She drew me out into the light, and I was saved. It was my first experience in the light and she drew me farther out. She took away my fear of falling into the darkness. I always would know that she was there for me when I would need her. Now she has new friends, better friends, she no longer needs me. She no longer wants me. She was the only reason I got up in the morning. Now it is gone, her smile, her laugh, her kindness and understanding. She had found me on that monument. I was going to jump, she ran out and saved me. Now she's pushing me back off again. I can't stand it. The pain, it rips and tears me apart. My chest feels like it is going to burst. This pain destroys me from the inside out. I refused to admit this. I can't admit it. I'm a demon, how can I get this feeling? I can't believe…that I love her. And now I wonder as I prepare to jump, did she ever love me like I loved her?
How do you tell someone you loved them? How do you tell someone that you have always loved him and always will? How can you tell him that you only caused him pain to shield him from your family? I loved him so much, I wanted to be with him forever. He was my guiding light in the darkness. He drew me out as I drew him out. I loved him with all my heart. I had hoped that one day we would be more than friends. But fate has a cruel sense of humor. The elders threatened to kill him if I was seen with him again. I tried to save him, now I have to leave him again. I am doing a good thing, I am saving his life, but why is it so painful? The pain, it tears me apart. The pain, it destroys me. The pain, how I wish I can die. I can remember the first day I saw him. He was standing on top of the monument. I didn't know why he was there, but I finally had a chance to talk to him. I loved him. The pain it strengthens my memories of him. I almost want to keep the pain, it is the only thing that reminds me of him. My family casts me out as the weakest, but I was always strong for him. My family's rejection meant nothing to his acceptance. Now I can't feel the warmth of his acceptance. I love him.