LABOR!
Note: I've never been pregnant, so I have no idea what I'm talking about and this is entirely based on what I've seen on TV and read. If it's completely off base, I'm sorry, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.
PS I don't own them.
Bones was acting weird. There was no other way to describe it. One second she was fine, the next second she froze and wouldn't answer anyone for several seconds, and then she was fine again. It was definitely weird. Yet, when Booth asked, innocently, if something was wrong, she nearly bit his head off.
That's why he was standing as far from her as he could get and still be at the crime scene. Bones was kneeling over a body on the other side of a large open field. He could see her, but he was off her radar. Let the techs feel the brunt of her inexplicable temper. Better them than him.
Until, that is, one of the cops on the scene asked him, "Should she be here in her condition?"
"She's pregnant, not disabled," came the automatic reply. He'd heard her say it so many times when he tried to help her it slipped out without any thought from him.
The cop looked confused. "No, I mean, with her in labor and all."
"Labor!" Booth was shocked.
"Yeah, she's obviously having contractions. I should know. My wife and I have three kids. I was there from beginning to end for all three," the cop said, grinning.
Without a word, Booth started across the field towards her. It all made sense, now. All of those weird little pauses were Bones trying to ride out a contraction!
By the time he got to her he was furious. "Bones, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want the truth."
"Ok," she answered without looking up from her work.
"Are you in labor?"
"I have been experiencing contractions for several hours, now."
"And you didn't think that I, the Father, should know this!"
She finally looked up. "I knew that you would overreact. Labor can take hours. My water has not even broken yet. I am of far more use here than I would be lying in a hospital bed. I promise I will tell you when it's time to go to the hospital."
Her calm voice and reasonable argument were perversely infuriating. Part of him wanted to whisk her off the hospital, the other part wanted to shake her for not telling him right away, then whisk her off to the hospital.
"Dammit, Bones! You should have told me immediately. You know what, it doesn't matter," he said quickly, reaching for her, "we are going to the hospital now, because I will not let our daughter be born in a field with a dead body!"
"Booth," she complained, pulling away from him, "I'm not finished here, yet. I promise, Booth, as soon as I am done my evaluation, I will let you take me home until labor begins. My interns can process this body, it is very straightforward."
A contraction stole her concentration, and she hunched over, breathing through it, like she'd learned in prenatal classes.
He couldn't believe she was so blasé about this! His heart was already pounding, adrenaline filling him. He wanted to move. He had to convince her. When the contraction ended, he helped her to her feet.
"Oh, no! We are not going home. We are going to the hospital, where there are doctors and nurses and machines and drugs and stuff. We are going to the hospital, and we are going now! Pack up what you need and let's go." He started to reach for her equipment, but she grabbed his arm, stopping him.
"No Booth," she said decisively, "we will go home when I'm done here."
"Hospital, now!"
"Home, when I'm done!"
"Hospital!"
"Home."
"Now!"
"NO!"
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
Booth took a deep, fortifying breath. The field had gone silent as everyone watched the drama unfold. Bets were even being placed on who would win the argument.
"Bones, we are having a baby…today! We should not be here. You said this was a straightforward case, right? They don't really need us right now. So, let's go to the hospital and have our baby. Let your team handle this. Please," he added, fighting to stay calm and reasonable.
"No."
He dropped his head into his hands with a loud groan. She was going to drive him insane, he just knew it.
"You. Are. In. LABOR!"
She cocked her head to one side, studying his expression. "You're angry."
He sighed. "I'm not angry, Bones, I am frustrated. You don't seem to understand-we're about to have a baby. There are things you do when you're having a baby. Like tell the father; like go to the hospital!"
"The contractions are still very far apart, Booth. The doctor will only send me home if we go now. I suggest we compromise."
He looked up at her.
"Compromise?"
"Yes."
"OK, let's hear it."
"I suggest that I continue working for now. Once my contractions are ten minutes apart I will let you take me to the hospital without argument. That is a far more reasonable timeframe, and should allow me enough time to complete my work properly, while still allowing ample time for you to get me to the hospital 'and the doctors and nurses and machines and stuff', though I don't plan on having an epidural, so the drugs won't be necessary. Is that acceptable?"
He thought about it for a few moments, and then said, "Ten minutes apart?"
"Yes."
"No arguments?"
"None."
"All right, but if your water breaks we go immediately, with lights and sirens the whole way. And I'll be timing these contractions. The second they are ten minutes apart, we go."
She thought for a moment. "That is reasonable, except for the lights and sirens. I don't think that will be necessary."
"It will make me feel better."
"That's completely irrational," she replied, irritated.
"I don't care," he responded.
They paused, glaring, before she gave in. "Fine. I accept. Now can I get back to work?"
"Yes. Just…carefully. OK?"
Bones rolled her eyes and knelt beside the body. Booth kept one eye on her and the other on his watch as she worked, fighting the urge to simply carry her off to the hospital. She finished long before her contractions were that close together, and he immediately bundled her into his SUV. After a short stop to pick up her overnight bag, he finally got to take her where he wanted her, and he could breathe easier. They got settled into the hospital, and Booth started calling everyone. Before long the waiting room was packed with friends and family eager to meet the new addition.
Bones was secretly glad that Booth had brought her straight here. The contractions were getting stronger and closer together much faster than she had predicted. If things progressed at this rate, labor would be very short.
When her water broke, events started to move more quickly, and Bones started getting scared. Before panic could really set in, Booth was there, whispering encouragement into her ear. He told her she looked beautiful, and how proud he was, and how happy. It was exactly what she needed, and she leaned into him, trusting him to hold her. A final wall they hadn't even known was there shattered in this moment of bonding. He held her through it, and she let him take the weight from her shoulders.
When their daughter finally entered the world, healthy and strong, he held them both in his arms, tears falling freely down his cheeks and into her hair.
Booth waited until Bones fell asleep to take their tiny daughter out to the waiting room and show her off. The oohs and awww!'s were incredibly satisfying to the proud papa. He didn't take her back until she started to fuss. After a short feeding attempt, Bones fell asleep again, and Booth picked his daughter up again, holding her close, and whispering loving nonsense to her. Looking into her tiny face, he knew that everything he'd been through with Bones, all of the pain and joy, had all been worth it, because it all led to this beautiful baby in his arms. He could never regret one single second of it. And he knew what her name had to be.
"I love you, Joy," he whispered.