I looked straight up at the ceiling of the office. I felt so expose having my legs open for everyone to see, the thin cotton dress that the nurse gave me wasn't enough to hide my shame of what I was doing.
"Honey, you alright?" The hefty nurse told me as she place her hand on my knee. She must have seen my tears, I guess.
"Yes, ma'ma." I said hastly making her look up from her clipboard with one eyebrow of her up.
I looked away from her and looked at the office's ceiling once more. I placed my shaking hands on my stomach. I bit my bottom chapped lip as softly rubbed my stomach through the gown.
"Now Miss I know I have ask you this before but are sure you want to do this procedure?" The nurse asked me.
I looked at her through my slightly blurry vision cause by my tears.
"I'm pregnant." I told Justin as he counted his money on the kitchen counter. I held my breath as he stopped counting and froze.
I slowly cross my arms over my chest as I lean against the entrance of the bedroom door. He placed the stack of money on the counter then turned his head and stare at me with his baby blue eyes. I looked away from his eyes and looked down at him observing his body. The white tank top fitted perfectly on his body. You saw his well built arms, those broad shoulder of his.
"Who's the dad?" He said licking his lip and wiping his sweat cause by the Florida's hell heat.
I scoff in my mind not believing he just said that. I looked at him like the way I did when we slept together. He chuckled and turned his face back to the money. His chuckle suddenly turned into a laughter.
"Ya know, we always use a condom. Ya ain't tricking me of raising some other mother fucker's kid." He said as he continued his counting.
"How fucking dare you say I fuck some other guy. I didn't. You were the only guy I fucked and you know it. Do you remember after your mother's funeral?" I said taking my arms away from my chest and looked at him angrily.
I saw him stop again, and smirked to myself. He knew what I said was the truth. He knew I wasn't that kind of girl that would sleep with other men but he also knew about the night of his mother's death he had been so devastated that day he came knocking at my door in the middle of the night. He barged in my apartment and grabbed me by the neck and kiss me harshly. That night we had sex without protection
"I ain't raising another kid, Mary. Kyle is enough especially with his disorder." Justin said with no emotion.
"So now what?" I said looking at him not believing what I was hearing. I knew Justin and I weren't a couple but I thought he would help me some how.
"Like I said I ain't raisin' no more kids. There is a clinic ten blocks away." He replied still not looking at me.
"Fuck you, Justin. You are a real jackass." I yelled running out of his apartment.
"Yes, Ma'ma." I said knowing there wasn't no other way. I have decided that I was gonna living with my mother in New York. I guessed it was only me to blame. I got caught up in a sort of relationship with a man who didn't care about anyone but himself. Another part of me guessed he was still in love with a girl he dated before but left him for another guy.
.SUNLIGHTJR. SUNLIGHTJR. SUNLIGHTJR. SUNLIGHTJR.
"Alright Miss, please sit down and wait as I bring your prescription medicine." The nurse told me as she held my elbow helping me as I slowly walked feeling a slightly pain and shame between my legs. She sat me next to a blonde women in her probably mid 30's .She smiled softly at me and looked away. I took a deep breath as I changed my position in the chair crossing my legs.
"You just came out of.."
"Yes." I told her not wanting her to finish that sentence. I already felt horrible enough of killing my child.
"How do you feel?" She asked me softly looking at me with her blue eyes.
"Just a slight pain." I told her making her nod and fall into silent.
"I'm Mary." I said holding my hand out.
The blonde smiled and shook my hand then was about to say her name when another nurse came out of the main office to the waiting room.
" Melissa." The brunette nurse call out blonde next to me stood up and grab your bag. She looked at me and softly said bye.
"Bye." I whispered as I watched her walk slowly to the nurse. I could see that she was awfully nervous almost not wanting to have the abortion.
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