Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia in any way!

This may occasionally change point of view, but it's not that dramatic.

Italy had skipped training that morning, and had locked himself away in his room, leaving a sticky note on his bedroom door, saying he didn't feel well and had a headache and to not come in. He knew it probably wouldn't work, but he hoped it would work just for a bit. It was a very specific date, and as the hours ticked on, he could only stare miserably at the clock, wishing today would be different somehow. It had been hundreds of years, yet the memory of his first love still haunted his mind. He kept waiting every year for him to return, even though he knew it would probably never happen and he had been told by France he'd never return as a child. Still, a part of him kept on hoping, each year he'd get depressed and just say he had to go do something for his boss, or fall ill briefly to avoid being around people for a bit. Sometimes he'd just go away for two days, and return laughing and happy as ever, even though it was a mask.

He hadn't felt truly happy in a long time, his obliviousness and cheery attitude all just one big facade he had kept up ever since that fateful day, to prove he was okay and protect everyone. He was protective of those he cared about, worried they too would disappear one day, and he hid away to avoid doing anything to risk slipping up or making them sad too. His phone rested by his pillow, along with a sketchbook he held, inside drawings of the same scenes and people, mostly Holy Rome, bunnies, and fields. Some were darker though, but he'd end up crying again and closing the book. He was starting to actually develop a slight headache from all his quiet sobbing, and the fact he hadn't been eating correctly again. He just closed his eyes again, hoping he could sleep before someone came around.

The sound of knocking almost five minutes later woke him up, and he just rubbed his eyes hoping he looked a bit more composed and his eyes were no longer red. "Si?" he called back, yawning slightly.

"Italy? Can you just open the door? Bitte?" the German called, trying to keep his voice as gentle as possible, knowing the other nation was upset, and knowing he could sound pretty angry most of the time. He'd noticed it was the same time every year, and he knew it wasn't healthy for him to be holing himself up like this every year. He had his suspicions, but he was determined to get down to the bottom of things and make sure his friend would be alright.

The door opened, revealing a rather dark room since all the curtains were mostly drawn, letting in the minimal light to see since he'd used the bedside lamp to draw. "Ciao Germany~" he said, keeping his voice cheerful as usual, though it didn't sound as cheerful as usual, though he decided to blame it on the headache if asked. "Is.. it about training?" he asked, stepping aside to let him in, then closing the door behind him.

Germany furrowed his eyebrows at the greeting, noticing the sadness in it, a wave of guilt crashing into him, but he stayed stoic. "Hallo, and no, don't worry it's not about the training." he reassured, noting how dark the room was compared to the fact he tended to at least leave some light source. Italy inwardly swore at the darkness of the room when he caught him looking around. "I know it's a bit dark, but my headache was really bad so I didn't want to make it worse with light." he said and shrugged, just sitting back down on the bed, but avoiding eye contact. It had always been harder to look at him on this day, seeing as they beared a huge similarity. Still, he was trying to keep up his facade, yet allowed a little to slip under the pretense of a headache.

"I know you don't have a headache." Germany said sternly. 'So much for that excuse.' Italy thought, but just tried to play it off. "Your eyes are red from crying and your reactions are signs of.. Depression." he said, his eyes holding concern.

He didn't realize it, but he flinched slightly at the fact he'd noticed and shifted on his feet slightly. "No, it's nothing like that~ My head was just hurting really bad and you know I don't deal with pain well." he tried again as an excuse. 'Damn it.. I've been getting away with this for years, and he has to notice?!' he thought in irrittation, but also a bit saddened more by the idea of someone knowing.

"You start acting strange around this time every year. What is wrong with you?" he asked.

"Nothing!" Italy protested.
"You can't keep acting like this. Stop making excuses, I'm just trying to help you." he scolded, pointing a finger at the other.

Instinctively he took a step back at the scolding tone and finger pointing, a flash of guilt crossing his features and then quickly dissapearing. "It's.. just something from my past.. that I don't really want to talk about. It's hard enough thinking about it.. Mi dispiace." he apologized, an undercurrent of mourning in his voice and he clenched his jaw briefly.

".. Italy, come here." he motioned for the other to come to him, taking a step closer to the brunette. He had a feeling he was going to have to push the other to tell him what was wrong.

Unwanted tears threatened to spill and he took yet another step backwards, shaking his head again and trying to make his smile a bit more realistic. "Really, it's nothing. I'm fine, it'll all be okay again tomorrow, the day after at the latest. Really, it's okay." he reassured, since it was mostly true. He'd be able to fake his joy again once the day had passed, and he could get himself collected again.

"It's Holy Rome, isn't it." Germany stated more than asked, his blue eyes cast down towards the ground.

"H-How do.. y-you know about him?" he asked quietly, his honey eyes widening in surprise, looking over him quickly, unable to come up with another exuse.

Germany remained silent for a moment. "Because," his voice held such a deep and distressed tone, it was obvious that this subject was difficult. "I waited for you to notice." he said when he finally met his eyes, his own sky blue eyes glistening. Tears didn't dare to enter his eyes though, and his face remained stoic. He was a trained soldier, after all.

Italy on the other hand wasn't staying even half as composed, tears quickly filling his eyes and one rolling down his cheek. "Y-You.. You're him?! And you never told me?!" he asked his voice shaking slightly, his expression and voice both expressing the anger, joy and pain he was feeling all at once. He didn't even notice another tear was escaping.

"Italy, I-" Germany cut himself off, feeling utterly hopeless in this situation. He didn't know what to do, and instead decided to approach him slowly and carefully, not wanting to upset him any more than he was, reaching out for him with slow and timid hands.

Italys eyes flashed to meet his hand, and he just tensed taking yet another step back. His mind was running far too quickly for him to really react at this point. He lied to me! He never told me any of this, never even acknowledged we may have known eachother before. He didn't even try! he thought angrily. "Why?" was all he asked, everything in that one simple word, his eyes moving to meet his again. The tears were slowing, as he fought to gain back the composure he so desperately clung to, but it was harder now than he could remember.

"Because," Germany paused to wrap his arms around the Italian, trying to convey his apology in the strong hold. "After not coming back for so long, and after dissapearing like that.. I knew you would hate me." his voice breaking a bit, hinting at his emotions just enough to convey what he needed to. "When I saw you again, I thought you didn't remember me. That hurt, a lot.. I thought by telling you, you wouldn't want to still be with me, or train, or associate at all. I thought you'd leave. I didn't want to be your enemy." he said, loosening his grip.

Despite the fact he could tell his apology was true, he couldn't shake the anger that was gripping at him. "I-I told you I would wait! No matter how long it took, I told you I would wait! That means I wouldn't hate you if you took longer than expected! They told me you were dead! I had to deal with that news, but in the end I couldn't believe it. I kept waiting and waiting, years passed and I still waited like the idiot I was!" his voice was steadily rising in volume, and he was shaking slightly, a part of him wanting to collapse in his hold and pretend he wasn't angry about all of this, but another part of him feeling angry and betrayed for never being told the truth.
"Italy I-" Germany tried to speak again but was quickly cut off.
"No! It's my turn to speak! You sat back.. for how long?! How long did you wait to tell me this. How long did you just watch me hole myself up to avoid having to be around anyone?" he asked, his eyes angry and tearless now. "You let me suffer all alone! I remembered alright. Do you realize how badly it hurt to see someone who looked exactly like I would expect an older you to look, but not even seeming to act like we'd ever met before?! I stayed though, even when you got angry, through everything I stayed!" he yelled, his fists clenched at his sides as if resisting the urge to punch him in his rage.

Germany looked taken aback by the outburst, even though he had expected it. Rather than anger, immense pain passed through his features and he took a deep steadying breath. "Italy, I thought you were happy without me." he began trying to compromise, watching his body language for any signs of something. He knew it was his fault, and call it selfish, and it was, he had to know that Italy would be okay, even if it took a bit of time. "I know you're pissed.. just, try and understand me for a moment. Bitte." he pleaded.

"Why, why should I? Why should I ever listen to you again? Do you really think I was happy? Ever since they said you'd died, I just kept waiting for you to prove them wrong. I wasn't happy though, I just kept up this stupid facade to keep everyone happy. To keep them with me." his voice shook barely at the end, but was otherwise eerily calm, and he just took another step away. A sick part of him noticed the pain in his features and enjoyed it, wanting him to feel the same pain he'd been living with for so long. "But yes.. I was happier than I am right now. I thought if you came back, you'd at least tell me. I never thought you'd hide it from me. So I'm going to say this, and don't make me angrier.. Get. Out!" his voice rose at the command, and he looked even angrier. The anger was draining him of his energy quickly though, but he wasn't about to hint to how much this was really wearing on him.

Germany continued to hold his ground, staying stoic as ever. "No. I know you're upset, and this is why I never told you. It's because it would cause this fight between us." he paused and held out a hand to him. "I didn't want to fight."

"Upset?! Upset.. upset doesn't even begin to cover how I feel right now!" he snapped, his eyes searching for something in case he had to threaten him to get him out of the room. "Get out. I may, or may not talk to you after this.. we'l see. It's better you do not piss me off any more right now!" he said, a slight growl to his tone near the end. If anyone else were to hear him, they would say this could never come from the bubbly Italian, no one ever saw him angry though, and that was a side that could challenge his brothers temper. "GO!" he yelled.
"Italy.. No. You said you waited for me.. I'm here now, so why are you pushing me away like this?" he asked, though it wasn't really a question. He was watching him cautiously, observing every move. He didn't want to believe that he'd actually try to harm him, cosnidering the Italian seemed to hate conflict.

"You want to know something?" he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly. "It was stupid of me to wait if I knew this was how we'd reunite.. Maybe.. just maybe I could've moved on." he said, glaring still. His fists clenched again and before realizing he'd even moved, he took a swing at him. Before his hand could make any comtact with him, his fist was caught, making an eerie sound in the silent room. The Germans face remained blank. "I see.." he said, his grip tightening a bit more, trapping it there.

He squirmed slightly, slight panic briefly flashing in his eyes at suddenly being trapped. Still, he tried to prevent any emotion but anger from showing, and tried to free himself. "Let. Go." he commanded. Instead of listening, he was pulled tightly against Germany, his fist released and then his hand taken, entwining their fingers. "Fine.. I'll leave, again." he said, his tone eerily low.

"Then go. I need time to think and you're not helping. So let go, and go away." he grumbled, not wanting to give himself time to hesitate and tried to push him away.

Germany didn't let go for another moment, but eventually loosened his hold and stepped back. "Well then Italy, you know where to find me." he said, not bothering to hold back his tears anymore, even though the rest of his face remained stoic. He cleared his throat as Italy went and opened the door for him, pointing out, and exited with a small nod to him. Hard boots against the floor sounded down the hall. His weight was still there, but he felt empty, as if his body was now just a thing shell moving.

Review please if you want to see more.

Translations:

Bitte- Please

Mi Dispiace- My apologies or I'm sorry