Title: Drunken Bluff

Rating: PG for some minor cussing

Category: Romance/Humor

Author: Jamie (jamalame@yahoo.com)

Spoilers: Small Potatoes

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Honest.

"Do you?"

Scully's words didn't mean much to Eddie Van Blundht- his only goal was her lush, plump, and slightly colored lips. He ignored her confused look and moved in for the kill. Scully couldn't believe this! Mulder was kissing her!

It's definitely the alcohol, she thought. But who cares? I'm kissing Mulder!

Scully was also feeling the effects of the alcohol. Just when the kiss began to intensify, Mulder's cell-phone rang.

"Mulder."

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" a strangely familiar voice demanded.

"Um, this is Mulder. May I ask who is calling?"

"May I ask who's calling?? God, give me a break! You're a worse Mulder than I am! You'd better stop what you're doing or you'll make me take the violent way out! I know where you are, you bastard. And guess who found another gun," the real Mulder stated. Then it hit Eddie like a ton of bricks.

"Uh, you t-too, may the force be with you," Eddie stuttered, nervous about Mulder's last words. Scully looked confused.

Mulder warned him, "Be at my apartment in less than 10 minutes, or I'll find you myself, you dirty son of a bitch."

With that Eddie scurried out of Scully's apartment, leaving a puzzled Scully only to want some more lovin'.

"But Mulder."

And the door slammed shut. Eddie sure didn't have the balls to face Mulder, so the bastard ran off to go screw another woman- or try at least.

*Fifteen minutes later*

Since Scully was a bit tipsy, she stayed at her apartment to let Mulder deal with whatever the hell it was that he had to deal with. Just then, the door burst opened. Mulder was covered with perspiration and looked even sexier than before. Scully was all the more giddy since he had come back.

Without any warning, Scully ran up to Mulder and planted a full kiss, right smack on his lips. Mulder was bewildered.

1 What the hell did Eddie feed Scully? Where can I get some for myself?

When they finally parted, Mulder asked her, "A-are you feeling all right, Dana?" Something overcame him after seeing this new side of Scully. He felt the same rush from calling her Dana that he got from her kiss.

"Why of course I'm feeling all right, you dumb ass."

Another sensation filled his body from her different, teasing tone. She didn't want an explanation of where he had to go in such a hurry; she just wanted some extreme kissin'.

She fiercely pulled his head down by grabbing the back of his neck and kissed him once more. She ran her fingers through his silky hair.

"Woah, woah, woah." Mulder's words were muffled inside her mouth. "You're drunk, Scully."

"Hey now, you kissed me first."

"Yeah, but I thought about it while I was out and I feel like I'm taking advantage."

"Don't think I wouldn't do this if I wasn't drunk, fool. I love you! When you kissed me earlier, it hit me! I may be drunk, but by the way you're looking at me now, I can tell you feel the same way. This is inevitable, Mulder!"

Mulder had no good come back to that one. Scully was so much fun drunk!! I love Scully every way, he thought.

I hope he doesn't find out I'm not totally drunk, thought the sober Scully.

Scully waited for his permission for another kiss. Then he finally smiled that Mulder-smile. She sighed and kissed his soft warm lips one last time that night.

"I'll be here tomorrow, you'll surely have a hangover. I love you."

"Bye," Scully faked a hiccup. After he was out of sight, Scully started laughing uncontrollably and whispered, "Yesssss!"

On Mulder's walk home, he came across a man that looked a lot like one of the men in the case with the "tailed" babies. Mulder knew it was Eddie. Mulder was feeling very merciful and patted the fear-stricken man on the back. After he was out of sight, both Mulder and Eddie mouthed Thank you.