The Last of Our Kinds
The Doctor pulled the lever with a sigh and leaned elegiacally against the console of the TARDIS. He always hated these intermittent times between when he lost his old companions and eventually found new ones to replace them. It was a lonely, desperate existence really and the Doctor wasn't afraid to admit that. He hadn't lived for over nine hundred years to not realise a thing or two about the isolation of being the last surviving member your species.
He looked down at one of the monitors and allowed himself a mournful half-smile as he read the readouts displayed in his native Gallifreyan; it was truly a beautiful language, even if it was one of the most complicated in the universe, and he wished that there was somebody else around other than himself to appreciate it. The Doctor didn't have much time to ruminate on this thought as the TARDIS began to shudder and the information on the monitor changed to show the ship was landing. The Doctor swiveled around and grabbed the edge of the console as the TARDIS began to shake and the lights illuminating the room flickered slightly. The Time Lord began expertly turning dials and pressing buttons, changing settings so the TARDIS would have a smooth landing in its place of destination. As he flicked one last switch the TARDIS lurched to one side and threw him backwards, causing him to land hard on the metal grated floor with a semi-metallic thud.
He winced as his backside made contact with the ground. "Bloody hell, this thing needs a service." Getting back to his feet he stood up and walked back over to the console, noting that all movement and noise had stopped, indicating the TARDIS had safely landed.
He flicked a few switches and levers and turned another several dials to engage the handbrake and set the TARDIS to isomorphic control, then turned to the monitor displays to see where he had ended up. In an effort to take his mind off loosing Rose, he had set the TARDIS on randomise so he would end up in an undisclosed location hopefully far way from everything and close to a new adventure. As he read the information being fed to him he discovered this was sometime around the year 300,000,000 mark, in the heart of deep space, lightyears away from any civilsation. Logically, the only way this could have happened, he concluded, is if he had landed on a ship; why a ship would be flying so far out into the middle of nowhere was the question on the Doctor's mind. Switching the monitors off and powering down the console, the Doctor turned and headed to the doors of the TARDIS to investigate this unlikely phenomenon, grabbing his light-brown overcoat on the way out.
The immediate thought the Doctor had as he stepped out of the TARDIS and onto the dull, military-grey ship, was that the technology on this vessel was beyond primitive for the time it was currently in. In fact, in terms of engineering, electrics, power sourcing and decorating, this thing was positively ancient.
"This doesn't make sense," the Doctor muttered to himself, pulling out his rectangular-rimmed glasses and sonic screwdriver, and sliding the glasses on. He fiddled with the screwdriver for a few moments before finding the right setting and aiming it at a circuit board on the wall directly in front of him. Just as he thought, the circuitry was of simple Jupiterian design: once common among space corps vessels in the mid 22nd Century, before humans had traveled beyond their own galaxy, but by now undoubtedly phased out in favour of much more advanced technology adapted from other worlds. The Time Lord might not have been so interested in this place if it wasn't for the fact that the power was still up and running. The Doctor couldn't understand how such an old ship could be completely intact and operational, and so far from its originating solar system.
The Doctor was so engrossed in his examination of the ships circuitry that he didn't notice a robot nervously approaching him. "U-uh, e-excuse me Sir but you are intruding on this ship! Unless you are a registered member of the Space Corps I am going to have to ask you to vacate the premises." The robot tried to address him in an authoritative tone, but it came out more like a weak suggestion.
The Doctor looked up from what he was doing and grinned. "Ah! A Series 4000 sanitation mechanoid, one of the DivaDroid boys! I haven't seen one of you guys in, well, millennia! What's your handle?" The Doctor smiled happily and stood up straight, closing his sonic screwdriver and slotting it into his pocket, ignoring the robots previous statement completely.
The robot seemed taken aback by the Doctor's enthusiasm and became visibly flustered. "My name is Kryten 2X4B 523P, and who exactly are you?"
"Nice to meet you Kryten. Too bad about the middle name, a bit tacky isn't it? Oh well, not your fault old chap. To answer your question, I'm the Doctor."
"Doctor who, Sir?"
"Spot on." The Doctor paused and sniffed the air. "Wait a minute is that Cadmium II? That's radioactive, that's dangerous! It's going to wipe out everybody on…." The Doctor trailed off and looked back and forth, then listened carefully for a few seconds. He could only hear the sounds of the ships air-conditioning. There were no signs of life that he could discern. "There's nobody on the ship is there? They all died from radiation poisoning…"
Kryten blinked, disbelievingly. "You can smell the traces of radiation? Even my olfactory system isn't that sensitive! Astonishing!" The mechanoid shook his head. "But yes Sir, you are right, the crew all died from a lethal radiation leak millions of years ago."
The Doctor rocked back and forth on his heels. "I see. But if everybody is dead, why is the power still on and why are you still functioning? Isn't it one of DivaDroid's policies that if there is no one to serve, you have to power down and dismantle yourself?"
The mechanoid nodded. "That's true Sir, but there is one surviving member of the crew, one David Lister, Sir. He was put into statis during the disaster and wasn't released by the ships onboard computer until the radiation had reached a safe background level."
"And that would take about three-million-years, wouldn't it?" The Doctor nodded. "Well that explains why this old ship is still going after so long." He patted the ship corridors wall affectionately. "But you said there was a survivor? Is he around? I'd like to say hello! Poor chap, must be awful lonely out here alone." The words seemed to echo in the Doctor's mind, and somehow he felt like he was referring more to himself than this Lister fellow.
"You are correct. Mr. Lister is up in his sleeping quarters at the moment, but I'm not so sure you should go up. Nobody else knows you're on the ship. It might give them a fright. You must have a very efficient craft Sir, if Holly didn't even notice…" Kryten paused and then continued. "I take that back, Holly doesn't notice half of what's going on around him now. And Mr. Lister isn't that lonely, he does have the Cat and Mr. Rimmer, even if he is a smeghead."
"The Cat and Mr. Rimmer? I thought you said there was only one survivor," The Doctor rocked on his heels again and tucked his hands into his coat pockets.
"There is, Mr. Rimmer was revived as a hologram and Mr. Cat evolved from a cat Mr. Lister smuggled aboard before he got put in statis," Kryten explained.
The Doctor's face broke out into a grin. "A hologram! Brilliant! And Felis Sapiens! I'm sure Dave wouldn't mind Krytes; it would be rude of me to just leave without introducing myself: especially after I landed my ship here. I won't impose, I promise. Just a quick greeting and I'll be on my way."
Kryten drummed his fingers on his chest plate nervously. "Oh, very well then. You don't seem like any danger, but if you end up killing everyone it's not my fault!"
"Hahaha, quite right. Not that I would even think about doing that though. Well, lead the way Kryten – allons-y!" The Doctor followed as Kryten abashedly began leading the way up to Lister and Rimmer's sleeping quarters. As they walked, the Time Lord took in his surroundings. It was a fairly standard mining ship by the looks of it; designed with only the purpose of collecting and depositing mineral ore from meteorites and other planets. He noted that Kryten seemed to be a bit newer than the mining ship, and discerned that the inhabitants of this place must have picked him up at some point after the disaster. "So what's this ship called anyway, Kryten?" He asked idly as they walked into a lift.
"This is the Red Dwarf, Sir," Kryten replied as he punched the floor number into the lifts console.
"Red Dwarf, ey?" The Doctor repeated as he looked around the lift. "I have to say I'm very impressed with how well this ship has held up, it logically should have disintegrated by now!"
"Nothing is logical around here," Kryten responded exasperatedly.
As they reached the floor Kryten had designated and stepped out, a dismembered head of what appeared to be a man in his mid-fourties appeared on the screen in front of them. "Oi, who the hell are you and what are you doing on my ship?" It asked in a rather rude tone.
"Oh hello, you must be Holly. Nice to meet you, I'm The Doctor," the Doctor replied, waving at the computer.
Holly blinked, confused by the unexpected friendliness of the apparent stranger that had just spontaneously appeared on G Deck in a Police Box. He would have confronted the guy earlier when he had first registered the vessel on the ship, but he hadn't been near one of his screens. "Doctor? Doctor who mate? If you don't give me your actual name I'll make sure that you'll need a doctor soon."
"Now Holly, stop being so rude!" Kryten waved his index finger at the screen in a motherly manner. "I've already spoken to the Doctor and he doesn't seem dangerous at all – although I am placing my faith in him," Kryten shot a side-glance at the Doctor as he said this, who simply smiled back at him. "So stop interrogating the poor man and treat him like the guest he is!"
"Kryten, he appeared out of nowhere in a Police Box, aren't you even the slightest bit suspicious? What is he, a witch?"
Kryten sighed. "I don't know," he turned to the Doctor, "are you a witch, Sir?"
"No, I'm a time traveller actually." The Doctor grinned. "Although having magic powers would be cool."
Holly nodded. "I suppose that makes sense then. Okay, I won't do anything to you. I couldn't have anyway, the meteor blasters are on the outside of the ship."
The Doctor simply laughed. "No harm done, Holly. It wouldn't be the first time I've been accused of witchcraft."
"The sleeping quarters are just down this corridor, Sir, if you follow me you'll be able to meet Mr. Lister and Mr. Rimmer."
"Excellent!" The Doctor declared, and moved to start following Kryten again.
Finally they reached a set of motion-sensor doors, which slid open with a mechanical hum as they approached. A scouse accent called out to the duo, addressing the mechanoid. "Hey Krytes, is that you? I was wonderin' where you've been. I spilled me' lager on my bed again, I was hopin' you could change the sheets."
Kryten walked into the sleeping quarters and motioned for the Doctor to follow him. "Sir, we have a visitor. Mr. Lister this is the Doctor, Doctor this is Mr. Lister." The mechanoid gestured to the rasta-plaited man sitting at the metal table in the middle of the room. He wore a stained shirt and grotty trousers, and grimy black leather boots, along with a surprised and slightly confused expression.
"A visitor?" A more refined voice asked from behind Lister. A man with what appeared to be a metallic H embedded into his forehead sat up in the bottom bunk of the standard issue quarters beds and looked over at the Doctor and Kryten.
The Doctor walked forward and offered his hand to Lister. "You must be Dave, nice to meet you." He shook Lister's hand, who gazed at him bewilderedly. "And you must be Arnold!" he said, turning to Rimmer. "I've always wondered, what's it like to be a hologram? Must be a bit of a drag not being able to touch anything."
Rimmer blinked. "Well I have a hardlight upgrade so I can touch things now, but yes, it was quite restrictive." He wasn't quite sure what to make of this Doctor, so confused was he that he answered the man's question without much thought.
"Hardlight! Of course, brilliant! How fascinating - a hologram that has a physical presence. Technology is wonderful, isn't it?" The Doctor walked over to the bunk and patted Rimmer on the shoulder. "Remarkable."
"Who are you?" Lister asked, standing up from his seat. "And how did you get aboard the ship?"
The Doctor simply kept smiling. Seeing this ancient ship continuing on, with snippets of newer technology hidden within it was exhilarating to him. Humans were so ingenious - he just loved them. "Your friend Kryten here already told you, I'm the Doctor. I landed my TARDIS here by mistake, sorry about that, sometimes she has a mind of her own you know."
"TARDIS? What's that?" Lister looked at Rimmer and Kryten, who both shrugged as they were equally confused by the Doctor's ramblings.
"TARDIS. Stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space: it's a time machine basically. It appears and disappears when you land and take off, hence how I materialised on your ship."
"Time machine? Disappears and reappears?" Rimmer stood up, face to face with the Doctor. "You expect us to believe that hogwash? It's totally insane!"
The Doctor giggled. "Yes I know, brilliant isn't it?"
"So where did you come from, if you're a time traveller," Lister asked, intrigued. If this guy was legit, perhaps he could get Lister back to Earth, back home, maybe he could even get him back to Kochanski.
"Earth," the Doctor replied simply. "I had just seen a friend off and then I left. Places to go, people to see. You know how it is."
Lister shook his head. "You came from Earth?! But wait, you travel alone? Don't you have any family or crewmates or somethin'?"
The Doctor's smile disappeared. "I do have companions, but no, I don't have any family as such. I like to travel alone though." It was a lie, and he knew it, but he was never one to glorify his loneliness, especially not to people he had just met.
Lister raised his eyebrows. "So are you human like me?" His tone was hopeful, like he wished that this were the case. The Doctor almost felt bad when he had to affirm the negative.
"I'm afraid not. I'm a Time Lord, I come from the planet Gallifrey." He paused for a moment before deciding to add the truth. "Actually I'm the last Time Lord, just like you're the last human."
The spacebum blinked and sat back down in the metal chair he had been sitting in previously. "Whoa, heavy man. I-I'm so sorry. I mean I know how it feels and I just – god man, I hope you're okay."
The Doctor sat down on the metal table and tucked his hands into his coat pockets. "I'm as okay as I'll ever be, Dave. Unlike you I've been on my own for hundreds of years, I've gotten used to it. But you, you don't have as long as I do."
"Well, there's not much I can do about it, is there? Unless…" Lister trailed off. His immediate thought was to ask the Doctor for a lift back to Earth, it seemed like the trip would be fairly instantaneous and he wouldn't have to wait any longer. Though, he didn't want to impose on the Doctor, and frankly he wasn't completely comfortable with him since they had just met. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but sometimes it was just better not to take a chance.
"Unless I take you back with me," the Doctor finished Lister's unspoken thought. He looked at the shocked expression on the curry-stained man's face and scoffed. "Oh come on, it wasn't that hard to guess where your mind would go to first."
Lister looked away. "I guess I am predictable."
"Not predictable, understandable," the Doctor corrected, jumping off the table. "It makes perfect sense that is the first thing you would want." He started pacing the sleeping quarters. "I could take you back to Earth but it would only for a visit. If I let you stay there it would create a paradox, and those are very, very bad."
"Nothing about causality?" Rimmer prompted, sounding even more suspicious by the second.
"Causality, yes, that too," the Doctor mumbled. "But not as bad as paradoxes. Trust me."
Rimmer threw his arms up in the air. "How can we? We know nothing about you, how do we even know you're actually a time traveller? For all we know you're an inter-dimensional jumper like Ace Rimmer, and you're planning to take us to a weird dimension and do –ooh, strange things to us!"
The Doctor did a double take and his jaw dropped slightly, taken aback by Rimmer's statement and unsure of how to reply. "I can assure you I don't plan on doing that, inter-dimensional travel is very dangerous and extremely difficult. This Ace Rimmer person, who I assume is an alternate version of you Arnold, must be very crafty if he can jump through dimensions at will."
"Crafty is one way of putting it," Rimmer muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Enough of this," Lister cut in, stepping forward. "I don't care if it's only a visit, I want to see Earth again. This might be my only chance to get back, and I don't want to die alone on this ship without seeing it one last time."
The Doctor nodded. "I understand."
The Doctor and Lister stood atop Big Ben, staring out at the grey city of London in the mid-afternoon drizzle. The Doctor pulled his coat around him and crossed his arms over his torso. The TARDIS stood behind them, on the edge of the giant clock face. The year was 2143.
"It's so weird," Lister said, "How nothin' changes when one person disappears. Like, for that one person, their whole life gets turned upside-down and inside-out, but for everybody else they go about livin' their lives in the way they always have."
"Oh you would have made a difference Dave," the Doctor replied. "It might have only been small but it's still there. I have never met a person who wasn't important."
Lister looked around him, silently taking in his old home, the one he had been yearning for, for so very long. It was strange now that he was back, and it was hard to believe that life went on without him, how ever egotistical that may have seemed.
"What I find amazing is how one day there can be all this," the Doctor gestured to the city, "And then one day there can be absolutely nothing in its place." He paused here and ran a hand through his hair. "Be thankful you didn't have the chance to save them, Dave, that feeling is a thousand times more painful."
"Save who?" Lister asked, turning to the Doctor.
"Your species," the Doctor clarified, stone-faced.
"Was there anything to save them from?" The spacebum looked out at the city again.
"The human race?" The Doctor smiled sadly. "Only from themselves."
There was a long silence as Lister and the Doctor went back to viewing the city. It wasn't until Lister turned around and looked at the TARDIS that the Doctor broek the silence to address him. "It's not as fun as you would think, raveling through space and time."
Lister gave a small smile. "I never thought it would be. Give me a family and a home and I'd rather be there any day."
"Right you are," the Doctor walked up to the TARDIS. "The universe is a harsh mistress, I've dedicated my whole life to taming her and I'm still not even close."
"I think I'm ready to go back now," Lister said.
"Righto, back to the Small Rouge one, ey?" The Doctor jumped in the TARDIS and Lister followed suit. He then walked up to the console, keyed in the coordinates and pulled the lever. Within a matter of minutes the TARDIS took off and landed back on Red Dwarf in the sleeping quarters.
Lister went to step out of the TARDIS, but before he did he looked back. "We're not going to see you again, are we Doctor?"
The Doctor smiled and shrugged. "Who knows, anything is possible!"
They shared a laugh and Lister turned back to the doors, opening them and stepping back out into the ship. The Doctor meanwhile leaned back against the console and looked down at monitors once again. He wished he could offer more to Lister, but in their situation there wasn't really much that could console you.
"We start alone and we end alone, don't we?" The Doctor said to nobody in particular. "It's the natural order of things." He turned around and put the TARDIS on randomize once again, then pulled the lever.
"Come on sexy, there's a whole universe waiting for us – allons-y!"
~Fin~