Malignant
"What have you gotten yourself into this time, glitterbaby?" Adam asked with a chuckle. His voice caught, choking back tears as he collapsed onto his knees beside Tommy's bed.
"C'mere, babyboy. It's alright. Shhhh, come here." Tommy said in a soothing voice, stroking Adams hair and moved over. Adam lay on his side, cradling the blonde in his strong arms.
The pain Adam was feeling was like nothing he had ever felt before. He stroked Tommy's hair, who cuddled closer. Tommy looked up as he felt wet drops on his head. "Adam, don't cry. Please, don't cry. I love you." He leaned up and kissed Adam's cheek. Adam pulled Tommy's lips into a sweet kiss, a frown crossing his face as his lips melded with the smaller man's.
"Tommy, don't leave me. Tommy," Adam's voice caught as tears flowed down his face in earnest now. "Tommy, I love you. Just… please… Oh, Tommy…"
"It's alright Adam. I will never leave you, because I love you. More than I have ever loved any person on this earth." Tommy reached his face up and kissed the singer's cheeks, nose, forehead. He took Adam's hand in his own, touching the wedding ring he had given his husband on their wedding day.
The wedding bells, the church. They got a lot of talk for getting married in a classic small white church, especially with Adam being Jewish. The ceremony was non-denominational, they had agreed.
"You may kiss the bride." The saying was classic, despite the same-sex aspect. And they kept it that way as Adam leaned down to capture Tommy's lips with his own.
Tommy chuckled weakly. "Remember the day we first met?"
"Next." Adam sighed. He waited for the pause while Longineu went to go get the next person auditioning for bassist. "Monte," he said to his closest friend, "Do you think we'll EVER find a bassist that doesn't suck balls? And not in the good way…"
"Hey guys. Next victim! Have fun, little guy." Longineu called, pushing a small blonde in. The boy stood there, stunned, for a moment.
"So, um, Longineu said you're Monte and you're Adam. I'm Tommy Joe Ratliff, nice to meet you."
"So, Thomas, how long have you been playing?" Monte asked, setting up his paper to grade the boy, who was becoming more and more forgettable by the moment.
"Tommy, actually. And pretty much my whole life."
Adam perked up, surprised by the bassist's argument on his name. He took the time to observe him. 'Freaking gorgeous…' he thought, surveying the black skinny jeans, black-and-white striped hoodie and black eyeliner heavier than his own.
"So, uh, what would you like me to play?" Tommy asked, shifting his black bass. 'Black seems to be a thing with him…' Adam thought.
"Nothing. You're hired."
"Glitterbaby misses you. She sheds about twice as much now." Adam said with a chuckle. What he didn't mention was that he was pretty sure the dog was just losing hair due to a condition she shared with Adam; heartbreak.
"No peeking!" Adam said, leading a blindfolded Tommy downstairs on his birthday.
"Aaaaadammmm, what is it? I don't like surprises!" Tommy asked, squeezing his husband's hand. They had been married for eight years now, Tommy figured that Adam would just give up on the flamboyant gift-giving, but he never did.
Adam stepped behind him and took off the blindfold with a flourish. There, with a silver bow around her neck, was a small Labrador. "Oh, Adam!" Tommy cried, dropping to his knees to pet her. "She's beautiful! What's her name?"
Adam panicked. He hadn't thought of a name for the three-month-old puppy yet, hoping Tommy would choose one. But by the way the blonde was looking up at him, stroking the puppy, he knew he had to think fast. "Glitterbaby, of course."
"Oh, I love it! She's so sweet. Come here, Glitterbaby!"
For months, if Adam called the name around their house, both Tommy and the dog would look up.
Glitterbaby was an old woman now, at seventeen years. Every time they went to the vet, the doctors looked surprised that she was still alive. But she was as sweet as the day they got her.
Tommy coughed, snapping Adam from the happy memory back to the hurtful, harsh reality. Tommy was dying.
Adam remembered getting the news, just two years ago. Two years, the hardest of his life. Two years, watching his only love, his very breath, fade away.
"Misters Lambert-Ratliff?" the doctor called into the waiting room. Tommy and Adam stood up hand-in-hand.
Silently, the group walked into the small doctor's office.
"I'm afraid, sir, there's no way to put this lightly. You have AIDS."
Adam immediately blew up. "He's only fifty eight! That's… that's deadly! He can't… he can't fucking die! I want more tests. As many as you have. This isn't right! You're wrong! I want another doctor in here!"
Tommy sat silently, stunned. "Doctor? Could you… give us a minute?"
"Of course, Mr. Lambert-Ratliff. Call me in when you need me." He exited quickly, probably glad to leave Adam's thundering voice throwing accusations.
"Tommy," Adam said, panting, turning to his husband of twenty-three years. "Tommy, they're wrong. I know they are. I'm sorry, I'll find a better doctor than this, this fraud, this… Ugh! He'll regret lying to me like this! Let me get someone on the phone. Okay, Tommy?"
Tommy blinked, snapping out of the daydream he seemed to have fallen into the second the term "AIDS" crossed the doctor's lips. "Adam, I… I think he's right. Oh, god…"
"Mister Lambert-Ratliff?" A nurse poked her head into the room. Both Tommy and Adam looked up. Twenty-five years of a conjoined last name had their reaction time as normal as it had been with their own, so many years ago. Before they met, before they became one.
"You have some visitors. Should I let them in?"
"Yes, yes of course. Thank you, nurse." Tommy answered. He chuckled, turning to Adam who was still wrapped around him. "Do I look okay?" Both men smiled.
"You look beautiful. Perfect. As always." Adam unfolded himself from around his husband, kissing the blonde on the nose, and resumed his position at the head of Tommy's hospital bed, helping him sit up into a more comfortable position.
Longineu's head was the first to peek around the corner. "Hey you guys…"
Joan followed closely behind him. He put his arm around her waist as they both stood to the side of the hospital bed. Monte and Lisa walked in next, Monte trying to crack a joke as usual. "Flowers, Tommy? Seriously?" He asked, pointing to the large bouquet on the blonde's side table. "I knew you were gay."
Tommy chuckled half-heartedly at his friend's joke. "Yeah, Monte. Whatever. You'd totally go gay for Longineu. The whole band knows it."
Joan and Lisa found this rather amusing, laughing as the drummer and guitarist blushed and shot looks at each other before glaring at Tommy.
Cam pranced into the room. "The whole band knows what?" she asked, her wife (wife number three, a small brunette about ten years younger, for the finicky keyboardist) on her arm.
Tommy chuckled at the black-haired girl, despite the fact that she was older than when they first met, she was still as full of energy.
"How gay Monte and Longineu are for each other."
"Oh, sweetheart, I knew that the whole time. Poor Lisa and Joan, having to deal with their bromance."
"I'M NOT GAY FOR LONGINEU." Monte near-shouted.
"Ouch, Monte. That hurts! You wish you could see this in your bed." Longineu poked back in turn.
This sent the whole band into laughing and chatter. Just like the old days… thought Adam sadly. But soon it will be over. My glitterbaby… gone. Gone forever.
A single tear trailed down the singer's left cheek. Tommy was the only to notice this and reached over, squeezing his husband's hand.
The first time they held hands. A small park, just a few weeks after Tommy had become a part of Adam's band. They were walking through a park near Adam's house, after band practice had ended. Tommy decided to stay late and get to talk with the man who was now his boss, and, he hoped, a friend.
They had gotten to a secluded bench deep in the woods and talked for hours. It was amazing how fast time could fly, they left Adam's at seven and Tommy's cell phone received a text at eleven, snapping them both to attention on how late it was.
"We'd better head back to my house…" Adam said, standing and stretching the soreness from sitting in the same position for several hours.
"Wow. I guess time does really fly when you're having fun! That was cool Adam. We should hang out like this more." Tommy said, repeating Adam's motions.
The two started down the small dirt path leading back to Adam's. A rustle in the bushes nearby startled both of them and Tommy reached for Adam's hand, lacing their fingers together before either of them noticed what was happening.
"Oh… oh, sorry about that. I was just… that noise…"
"It's fine, Tommy." Adam said, not letting go of the blonde's smaller hand, instead running his thumb in circles on the back of it. Tommy blushed but didn't release his hand from the singer's grip.
The nurse came back in, snapping Tommy from his terrific, happy flashback.
"Excuse me, but visiting hour for guests, excluding spouses, is over in thirty minutes. I'm sorry." And she ducked out, quick as a flash.
Everyone looked startled, hit by the realization that this may be the last time they saw their long-time friend. The doctor had given Tommy the sentence of two months, two months ago.
Tears started rolling down Lisa's face first, and she choked, turning into Monte's chest. He stroked her hair comfortingly. "I'm gonna miss you, little guy." The guitarist stated, looking at the blonde they were crowded around. He reached down and gave Tommy an awkward hug, wrapping his arms around the bassist for the last time. As he pulled away, he ruffled Tommy's short hair.
"Monte, you've been one of the best friends and mentors I could ever have." Tommy choked out through the lump in his throat. Monte smiled sadly in return, unable to speak as his wife moved up, kissing Tommy on the forehead and hugging him also.
Longineu came up next, shaking Tommy's hand before pulling him into a hug. "You rock, Tommy. I'll never regret letting you through those doors for the audition. I'm… I'll miss you."
Cam came up, trying to be strong as she always seemed and hide the tears, which were slowly trickling down her face. "I-uh-um…" she choked, tried to speak again, and broke down, sobs racking her body as she collapsed across Tommy's chest. "Tommy…"
Tommy shushed her, stroking her short black hair, now turning grey at the roots. "Shhh, Cam, I know. I know. It's alright…" he murmured into her head. "It's okay babe. You're alright."
She looked at him, sniffing, and managed to have a small smile cross her face. "I'm sorry about that. It's just I'm gonna miss you so damn much…"
"I'm gonna miss you too, C. I love you and you're one of the best friends I could ever have." He nodded to her wife. "Be good to her, kay?" the small girl merely nodded in return, stunned that the man was even talking to her.
Joan stepped up next. "C'mere, you." She said, pulling him into a hug. "I think everyone's already said all I want to say." She kissed his forehead in the motherly position she always assumed before backing away.
They all stood silent for a moment before a clattering tray in the hallway just outside snapped them to attention. Monte was the first to speak, clearing his throat. "Well, we, ah, better… go…" he choked, swallowing. "Bye Tommy." He whispered, nodding at Adam and turning out of the room, casting one glance backwards, eyes brimming with unshed tears.
The rest of the group followed suit, murmuring goodbyes to the bassist as they left his room for, they all felt and seemed to know, the last time.
Tommy sighed, blinking back tears as he watched his closest friends leave his side. "Adam?"
The taller man instantly snapped to alert, leaning beside his husband. "Yes baby?" he answered.
"Can you… could you sing for me?" the blonde said, snuggling under the blankets again, pulling the corner closest to Adam open so he could climb in also.
Adam did so, pulling Tommy to him. "What would you like me to sing?" he asked quietly.
"I'm not sure. Surprise me." He said, coughing then snuggling closer into his husband of twenty-five long, amazing, perfect years.
Adam thought for a moment before softly beginning to sing, growing louder as he continued.
"Have you lost your way?
Livin' in the shadow of the messes that you made.
And so it goes,
everything inside your circle starts to overflow.
Take a step before you leap
into the colors that you seek.
You'll get back what you give away…
So don't look back on yesterday…"
Tommy began to join in the singing as Adam reached the chorus.
"Wanna scream out,
no more hiding.
Don't be afraid of what's inside.
Gonna tell ya, you'll be alright
in the Aftermath.
Anytime anybody pulls you down,
anytime anybody says you're not allowed,
just remember you are not alone
in the Aftermath."
Adam skipped the next verse. Tommy wasn't sure exactly why as his lids started to slide shut, breathing in Adam's sweet scent as he started to drift into the peaceful blackness awaiting him.
"Before you break you have to shed your armor,
take a trip and fall into the glitter.
Tell a stranger that they're beautiful.
So all you feel is love, love.
All you feel is love, love."
Tommy turned his face to Adam. "I love you, Adam." He murmured before moving up, this time burying his face in Adam's neck.
"I love you too, Tommy." Adam murmured, pressing his lips to the top of Tommy's head.
Wanna scream out,
no more hiding.
Don't be afraid of what's inside.
Wanna tell you you'll be alright,
in the Aftermath.
(A/N:) Squeak. Don't hurt me. D:
Hope you enjoyed, I'm not even sure how I got the idea. Classic character death fic, I'm such a loser, sorry.
Dude. UndergroundValentine. I've been talking to her. Her stuff? Read. Lyyyyykkkeee, seriously.
((LIZSERNAME ROCKS OHMIGOD I LOVE HER. :D))
Fun times and happy fanfic-ing to all.
Love bunches,
Jenna.
Peace, Love, Happiness and Adam Lambert.