AN - Hi everyone, my name's Pinkcupcake81 and I'm a rabid Downton Abbey fan. I've been reading lots of the amazing Anna and Bates fics around here and have been mulling over the idea of writing my own for the last month or so. I've not written any fics for a very long time so I'm quite nervous about it but I just adore Anna and Bates together and really wanted to try writing again. Any feedback is most gratefully received because I'm extremely rusty!

This fic is decidedly AU and is set in the modern day. Bates doesn't appear in the first chapter but I promise he'll make an appearance in Chapter 2. There is some discussion of domestic violence during this chapter however it's not graphic or strongly written.

Second Chances

Chapter 1 - The Final Straw

Anna's POV

Silence reigned in the little Ford Fiesta except for the squeak of the windscreen wipers sweeping away the rain as we crawled north up the M1. It had been over an hour since either one of us had spoken; she silent with anger, me worried that anything else I said would provoke her further. Subtly I cast a glance to my left to where she sat slouched against the fogged up window pane; absent-mindedly scribbling little patterns against the glass, wilfully ignoring me, with her iPod turned up full-blast to whatever horrendous music suited her eleven-year-old angst best.

It had not been a good day. Perhaps that was putting it mildly but I'd never been one for over-dramatising a situation. That morning I'd packed up everything I could fit in my battered little car, collected my unsuspecting daughter from school, and left the world I'd known for over eleven years for complete uncertainty. It wasn't a decision I'd made lightly, it was something I'd mulled over for a while but the events of the previous night had forced me to take a long, hard look at my marriage and the treatment I'd found myself on the receiving end of, and make a hasty decision.

Noticing darkness beginning to fall, I switched on my sidelights and took a quick glance at the clock on the dashboard. It was nearly four, he'd not be home from work for a couple of hours yet; plenty of time for us to complete our journey northwards and arrive in Ripon. We'd left Guildford shortly before lunchtime and despite my fears that neither my nerves nor my Fiesta would make it up the motorway, we were not far from our intended destination. I hadn't really considered where we were going very carefully, but heading back north to where I'd grown up just seemed like a logical decision. My marriage wasn't the kind of situation I could extract myself from carefully; there was no chance of me telling Peter quietly and firmly that Holly and I were leaving and that we'd be staying down the road and yes he could take Holly at the weekend and on holidays. There was no chance of that happening because of what had been building up over the past several years and had bubbled over the previous night in an incident which had frightened me to the core.

Peter hadn't started out a violent man. He'd started out as the man who called me 'Princess' and held my hand protectively in his whenever we walked down the street. He'd started out as my knight in shining armour when, at age nineteen, I'd found myself alone in the world after my mother's death. He'd put his arms around me and told me he was there to look after me and that I'd never be alone. Holly had arrived suddenly and quite unexpectedly, and three months shy of my twentieth birthday I'd found myself a wife and mother in a seemingly blissful domestic setup.

The rain began to dissipate and I switched off the wipers, taking a quick glance at my scribbled directions to check the exit number for the motorway was correct, before signalling to pull off.

"Not long now," I chirped to Holly, who merely cast her eyes towards me witheringly before returning to ignoring me once again. Part of me could understand why she was so angry, she didn't fully understand my reasons for uprooting her and I was as yet unwilling to explain the extent of the problems between myself and her father that I'd hidden from her. I'd always felt children were to be protected and that whatever was going on between me and Peter wasn't for Holly's eyes or ears. She'd had a brief glimpse into it the previous night as Peter's anger at her adolescent rebellion had bubbled over, only my death-grip on his wrist stopping him from striking her across the face. I'd sent her to her room immediately and borne the brunt of it myself; the bruises across my ribs not nearly so painful as the thought that my husband could hurt my baby.

So that night as he'd snored beside me, I'd crept into the bathroom, looking up directions on my iPhone and messaging Gwen to ask her if we could come to stay. I'd not been able to give her much information, just that I'd explain when we arrived and ask her not to tell Peter we were coming if he contacted her. I hadn't slept for the entire night; instead I'd lain formulating a plan of action towards our escape. Peter had woken in the morning utterly oblivious; it wasn't as though anything normally happened the day after he'd shown me who was boss. I'd let him kiss my cheek and handed him his sandwiches for work like it was any other day. Then once Holly had left to walk to school and I'd waved him off to work, I'd gone into action mode – packing everything I thought we could possibly need and wondering how I could fit eleven years of our lives into a Ford Fiesta. I'd found myself remarkably calm; it wasn't as though I'd never considered leaving him before, I'd just always felt it better for Holly that we stayed. The sudden realisation that by staying I was putting her at risk had wiped away my stupidity and given me a sense of clarity and purpose I'd long since needed.

Driving carefully through the centre of Ripon, following my scrawled directions as carefully as I could, I found the address easily enough, stopping the car in front of Gwen's new-build house. I'd never seen it before; we hadn't kept in touch as often since she'd moved back north but as soon as I realised I needed help she'd been the first person I'd turned to. My best friend since high school, she was the one person I knew I could utterly rely on. I hadn't even needed to ring the doorbell, we'd scarcely left the car when she'd flown out of the house, reaching the pavement and wrapping her arms around me.

"Are you okay?"

Three words were all it took for my carefully controlled façade to crumble and tears to take hold of me.

"Let's get you inside," she clucked softly, taking my bag from me and ruffling Holly's hair with her free hand. "God, you're getting so tall, you're not far off being the same height as your mum, though she always was a short-arse," she grinned at her, and as Holly reluctantly smiled back I was relieved to see that my daughter's anger didn't extend towards my friend.

"I've got dinner on, you'll both be starving, let's just get you inside and sorted out and then we can eat."

An hour later with a stomach comfortably full of spaghetti and Holly contentedly entertaining Gwen's three year old, Lucy, we finally had time to talk properly.

"Anna, why didn't you come earlier?" Gwen's face was full of gentle concern but I couldn't quite meet her gaze.

"I know I should have. I'm a crap mother; I can't believe I allowed myself to put her in that position."

She reached gently across the sofa and took my hand in hers, "No you're not, and don't ever let me hear you say that again."

"Honestly, it's been going on for years, it just started off so slowly that it felt like it was nothing – a slap here, a kick there; it increased so gradually that I never realised how bad it had got, there was never a point where I thought I couldn't take it anymore. And I always felt that somehow I was doing the right thing by Holly by staying. I kept telling myself that I'd grown up with a single parent and that I didn't want the same thing for her."

"What happened last night?" she tucked her red hair behind her ear and sipped her coffee thoughtfully.

I lowered my voice further although I knew she couldn't hear me from the other side of the room where she and Lucy were playing noisily with the computer.

"Holly's been getting a bit mouthier lately, nothing massive, just the usual eleven year old attitude. She normally saves it for me, but Peter got it last night and he just totally lost it with her. Honestly Gwen, if I hadn't grabbed him…" my breath caught in my throat and tears stung at my eyes at the memory of the uncontrolled anger in my husband's face as he'd looked at my defiant daughter.

"You've done the right thing," Gwen assured me, "And you're welcome to stay here as long as you need to. I told Mark this morning you'd be coming and he understands. He's away on business in London at the moment anyway so he won't be back until the weekend."

"I just don't know what to do," I shook my head, "I mean, what am I qualified to do? After I had Holly I wanted to go to college or uni, get a decent job, but Peter was insistent that I stayed home with her. I've done nothing but look after her and the house for the past eleven years, what kind of a job can I get with that experience?"

"Try not to worry about that for now. Just take the next few days to talk to Holly and sort things out. We'll get you sorted with something, you just need to get used to the idea that you've left Peter and that you're safe." She reached out and encircled me in her arms, and despite the fact I knew she was being hopelessly and unrealistically optimistic, it did make me feel a bit better.

"Thanks Gwen, honestly I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."

Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you thought. I've started the next chapter and will hopefully have it up by Sunday night although I think most of my writing will be over weekends.

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