Snake lovered his hands. Slowly and in deep shock.

He dropped the SOCOM pistol, and when it hit the pure, white snow-covered gound, the sound was almost completely muffled. His mind flicked at the past events, at him seeing Meryl fall back on the ground, in a dreadful, painfilled scream, as her fragile, female body was teared apart with bullets. They'd zipped her meat wide open.

Snake rushed to Meryl's aid, stumbling over his own feet. Anxious to hear the voice of the woman whom he loved, telling him that she was alright, he wanted desperately to assure her safety. He already knew, it was too late.

Tears cornering up in his emerald eyes, he took a knee, lowering down at the side of the horrible scene, gently shaking what had been the gorgeous, slim body of a beautiful and proud, young woman. The woman, whom he loved. But her eyes remained unchanged, with a sparkle of life in them. However happy Snake was to see this, it made the saltiness of his own tears fall from his eyes, and run down his burning, bright scarlet cheeks, until they accumulated in Meryl's pool of blood, which was only growing wider by each second. He was so afraid, him, the legend, afraid that the strength, her strength, wasn't strong enough to overcome the wounds. These were no bullet of a Wolf who did not mean to kill her; but from soldiers who had not hesitated, when she did.

"Snake...I..I'm.."

Her voice; it was so terribly hoarse, the very sound of it made Snake wince in sorrow on her behalf. All of the hope seemed to have vanished out of it and dissapeared, only to assure Snake that she was no longer going to be with him, no longer going to fight alongside him. They'd know each other for a week, but had found so much worth living for.

The tone in her voice was like one from another world. Snake closed his eyes briefly. She was close to her 19th birthday.

"Meryl, why did you become a soldier?" He asked her silently, feeling like a fool because he was unable to stop the heavy rain from his eyes. "You weren't meant to be. I'm sure..." He paused, and caught up with his own rapid breathing. It was hard to see if she could even hear him, but as her eyes fluttered shut and opened repeadetly, he guessed it was okay for him to carry on.

"I've seen soldiers. Lots of them. And none...like you." He lifted his arms to carefully embrace her, but seeing her face wince in agony, he cursed under his breath. He couldn't even hold her now, he couldn't embrace her, only look on as she faded away.

"Shh..." Meryl hussed, and rolled her head to his side, looking at him with this deep, emotional gaze, in her deep, blue eyes. Was that a smile? He, unwillingly, swallowed.

Then, he saw it. The tears. The crystal tears, more silent and innocent than the wind, slowly creeping it's way down her chin, mixing with the all the red. Again, he felt like a huge round object, had stuck itself in his throat. Why was it so different? Why did he love her so much, that it hurt so badly to let go?

Meryl saw the conflict of emotion and his own hard-learned experience within his mind, only by a brief glance.

"Snake...Don't...let your mind eat you, just because of a fallen combat buddy..." She tried a smile again, but it seemed so horribly out of place, so feeble and powerless. What was a smile going to heal?

He looked at her, needless to say, surprised that she could say such thing when she was this close to death. Yet another smile got caught on her blood-stained lips, and she winced. Within seconds she was writhing on the ground, much like a dying snake.

"Meryl, I'm not gonna let you die! Not on Shadow Moses, not here, never! Do you hear me?!" He barked at her, like commands from a colonel. And that way she looked at him. Stared at him. Like telling him, she's the one to blame. It shattered all of his faith in the new life he wanted so badly, everything he wanted to believe in.

It was just too late.

"It has always been too late"... He closed his eyes, trying to keep some of that self-blame on a nice, safe distance. "For me." I must let go of the most precious thing I'd ever had by my side.

Why? It was him, the mercenary, who had killed tens of thousand time more than she, he deserved to bleed to death. After all he'd done in his life, both to soldiers, and to himself...Only God knew, how many people he had killed, and how times he'd hurt their wives, children...

"S-Snake, I-I..." Her mouth kept going up and down, yet he could barely hear her words wouldn't come out as sound.

"I love...you. So much. P-please."

He was paralyzed-yet he remember how her blood-stained hand moved to his forhead, and brushed away his hair. She had somehow managed to lift her upper body, and solidly planted her soft, cold lips on his.

He closed his eyes, so very very tightly.

"Meryl, I-"

Back resting on the ground, she was laying motionless. The only thing moving were the bright, red locks of hair, the wind toyed with. The blood on her lips had smeared out from the kiss; like a grotesque form of lipstick. Her skintone was paler than ever and her eyes were more grey than blue. No glistening. No soul.

"No..." He whispered into the alaskan wind, and it suffocated his voice.

Panicly, his index-finger pressed upon the spot below her jaw. Please, no...no, don't do this to me.

"Nooo!" He yelled so loud, that a flock of birds flew up to the sky, their squalls deeply echoing around the scene of him and...

"She...I didn't even...tell her. Meryl..."

No. He thought, quickly rising from the snow. No, I can't sit here, morning forever...damn! He cursed in his mind, and grit his teeth.

That was when his codec beeped. Snake was rather suprised that it still worked, since his nanomachines already stopped functioning a week ago, but he took action instead of thinking too much about it.

"Snake! What the hell is going on out there?!" The colonels voice barked at him, instantly inflicting yet another stroke of pain in Snake. He would have to tell him.

"Yeah, colonel, what the hell is going on! Why'd you contact me over the codec? The nanomachines-"

"The new kind of nanomachines are supposedly affected by colder temperatures, extending the period of functioning. "The colonel's voice calmly explained. "However, we don't have that much longer." Roy Campbell breathed a deep sigh.

"There's two reasons why I contacted you, Snake. Don't think I'm calling you for a chit-chat."

"I would never think so about you, colonel. Just tell me what this is all about."

There was a brief silence.

"Oh my God..."

"What?! What is it?"

"They already got there, didn't they?"

Those words fueled the fire of anger inside of Snake. His palms became sweaty, his skin and body; hot as flame, and his left fist balled. He could've punched Campbell right in his face if only he'd been there.

"You're saying that you knew about this all...along?

Same silence.

"...You disgust me, Roy."

"I did not know anything about this ambush, until recently, Snake." The elder man defended himself. "I planned on briefing you but I realized from your tracing signal, that it would be a bad idea to contact you."

"Why?" Snake spat.

"You were obviously in combat."

Silence.

"Snake, those were ninjas."

This brought Snake out of his dream-like condition.

"Huh?"

"Ninjas," The colonel impatiently replied. "They were in possesions of katanas. Take look at their bodies."

Snake unwillingly looked at one of those dead bodies, entirely covered in black. And quite right, on his back, a katana was sheated.

"But they used guns?!" Snake said, puzzled. His voice burned with questions. "They...shot Meryl."

"...Meryl? I-is she okay?!"

Snake swallowed when he heard Roy's voice going softer, mentioning his daughter's name. It was gonna be so hard, it seemed impossible to tell this man about his only child's death. And he cherised her so much. As much as Snake did. He explained her last seconds to him, with a voice that threatened to give up the more he went on. Finally, it was all said, and it was like the finishing of a chapter in a book with a sad, sad ending.

It was a very strange presence after this, lingering in the air, suffocating Snake.

"Colonel?"

The connection was broken. Now, all that was left, was to wait. Wait. For the colonel to contact him again. He would come to his senses again, surely. Sooner or later. For Snake, the biggest question was...could he accept it?

"Freeze!"

Snake had spun around, kicked his gun up from the ground, and grabbed it, training it with deadly precision at a surviving ninja's chest.

"Kuso!" The ninja sputtered. However, his voice did not sound that japanese to Snake, who spoke the language fluently.

"Anata wa dare?" (Who're you?) Snake asked the guy. And just as he thought, the "japanese" became paralyzed, and mumbled something that sounded like a cross between bad mocking chinese and english. Snake grunted, not amused.

He wielded only a katana, but it did not discourage Snake from leaping forward, placing a swift kick on its guard. Clearly taken aback by this frontal attack, the so-called ninja did a poor job in defending himself, and the counterattack he displayed was a foot fumbling out in a kick, caught easily by Snake's right hand. He grit his teeth and growled, twisted it with both hands and the ninja was down; the sword releasing itself from his grip. It flew up, and Snake caught it, giving it a few testing swipes, before he quickly pinned his opponent to the ground by holding his arms down with both thighs. The fake ninja made a sound that sounded like a whimper, before Snake took the katana into both hands, aimed, and sent it through his ribcage with force.

He spat blood on his face, which Snake wiped off in disgust. He twisted the sword a few times, withdrew, and threw it in the snow.

The sound of a helicopter, approached him. Snake ran for cover, but the snow which was kicked up by the helicopter's blades made a blizzard, and it was near impossible for Snake to proceed to his house. Instead, he backed off while facing the helicopter

Men started jumping out, and searching through the dead bodies.

Snake clenched his fists. He watched them take off. Sunk to his knees.

"Forgive me, Meryl."

Closing ones eyes really didn't help.