"And Then They All Went Camping"
A Silent Hill 4 Fanfic
Just a short, stupid one-shot I was writing. None of the characters are mine, but the idea is. This is a product of pure boredom!
Everyone was circled around the huge bonfire in the woods near Silent Hill—Henry, Eileen, and Walter, and the ghosts of Cynthia, Jasper, Andrew, and Richard. After all the horrible events that had taken place, Henry had decided to get all of his "friends" together and go on a camping trip. What better place to camp out than the Wish House Forest, a place of disturbing turmoil and blood-soaked agony? This ran through Henry's mind as he gathered with his friends on their stereotypical logs that just so happened to all be the same size and placed strategically around the fire.
"What are we doing?" Walter asked after about thirty minutes of silence. Henry himself had to admit that this trip may have been a bad idea.
"We're camping," Henry told him calmly, smiling a little. Eileen, who sat next to him, grinned over at Walter.
"Yeah, silly, can't you tell?" she asked.
"Uhhhhhhh!" Andrew's ghost cried. That man really never had anything to say since his death... it was a pity, really.
"Andrew, hush," Walter hissed. He narrowed his eyes at Andrew and then looked off into space.
"Who wants to sing campfire songs?" Henry asked.
"Shut up!" Richard screamed loudly. Everyone jumped at his voice. Henry slowly reached for his acoustic guitar, ignoring Richard's rude behavior. He put the strap on his shoulder and got the guitar in tune.
"This is a song I wrote about Christmas," he announced. Eileen clapped quietly and the ghosts simply stared. Henry began to strum a few chords on the instrument and then started singing:
"Oh, Christmas, I love you,
You're the best ever
Oh, Christmas, you're great
People come over and
Get together and open
Presents!"
He was horribly off-key, but he couldn't tell.
"Eileen's a whore," Cynthia said randomly in the middle of Henry's song.
Eileen's eyes grew huge. "What?"
"You heard me," Cynthia remarked.
"Ladies, no," Henry said. "Christmas!"
"N-no one cares about... about Christmas," Jasper stuttered.
"Come on, if you know the words sing along with me!" Henry cried. He continued his song.
"Oh, Christmas, come save me
You take me away
Oh, Christmas, amazingly
I've got everything I need
And you always make it better
I'm here with my friends!"
"Look at what you're wearing!" Eileen yelled at Cynthia.
"Uhhhhh!" Andrew cried again.
"Henry, stop singing!" Walter screamed. Henry didn't stop. "Stop it!"
"No!" Henry said stubbornly. He continued his song.
Suddenly, Cynthia and Eileen were lashing at each other. Eileen had Cynthia pinned to the ground and was slamming her fists into her face.
"Oh, Christmas, please show me
A way to make things better
Oh, Christmas, I-"
At that moment, Walter stole Henry's guitar and smashed it on the log, over and over, and this resulted in a broken and useless instrument. Henry stared sadly at his guitar and Walter was shaking in rage.
"Walter," he began quietly, "no."
"I'm a serial killer," Walter replied. "What do you expect?"
Cynthia and Eileen kept fighting, and this time, it was Cynthia who had the upper hand.
"No, Walter," Henry said again.
This confused Walter. "'No' what?"
"You broke my guitar!" Henry was getting agitated.
Jasper and Andrew and Richard began bickering about who was the better looking of the three.
"Obviously, it's me," Richard bragged. "I'm tall, dark, and handsome... what more could a woman want?"
"B-b-but I'm so hot, I'm... I'm on f-fire!" Jasper exclaimed.
"Uhhhh...." Andrew said.
Eileen slapped Cynthia through the face. "Who's the whore now, you... whore!?" asked Eileen.
"Come up with another synonym for 'whore', whore!" Cynthia yelled.
"You don't even know what a synonym is!" Eileen retorted, slapping Cynthia again. Soon it became an all-out slap fest.
"Why did you do that to me?" Henry was up in Walter's face now, and Walter was stepping back. He had never seen Henry so worked up.
"I don't like music, Henry!" he said loudly.
"I wear ties all the time," Richard told Andrew. "That Jasper fellow has no idea what he's talking about. 'So hot he's on fire.' Maybe in a literal sense."
"Uhhhhhh," Andrew agreed, nodding wildly.
"Hey, now, hey, I h-heard that!" Jasper said.
"You're a horrible person, you know that?" Henry screamed in Walter's face.
"Stop yelling at me!" Walter cried, his voice breaking and tears forming in his eyes.
"You killed my song! You killed my Christmas song!" Henry was actually crying. "You're a monster!" He broke into sobs that racked his entire body and fell to his knees, whining his heart out right there in front of everybody.
Suddenly, all the fighting ceased.
"Henry?" Eileen asked worriedly. She rushed over to comfort him. "Shhh... it's okay." She patted his back and hugged him.
"I just wanted to tell everyone about Christmas," Henry admitted as he got to his feet and stomped over to his place on the log.
"And you can," Eileen said. She lifted his chin with her index finger, bringing his face barely inches away from hers. "Tell them everything there is to know about Christmas."
Richard sighed. "I don't want to hear any Christmas-"
"Silence!" Cynthia cried evilly, cutting him off short. Her glare was ferocious enough to shut him up.
Henry nodded slowly. "Okay," he said. "Okay... I'll do it!" He knew his song by heart, so this would be easy. "And I want all of you to help me." He glanced at every non-soul there. Everyone seemed reluctant, but they soon took off in a musical performance fit for Broadway.
"Th-that was awesome!" Jasper exclaimed after they finished.
"No, Jasper," Eileen began, "that was Christmas!" All the people laughed, perhaps somewhat like on children's TV programs where everyone laughs at the end but the joke is morbidly pathetic, not even fit for a mere chuckle.
Walter started up his chainsaw and sliced Andrew's head from his body. The chainsaw disappeared as quickly as it had showed up. Andrew's body fell in a limp heap to the ground. They all stared at Walter in disbelief, mouths agape and eyes wide open.
"My God," Henry whispered. "That was retarded."
"That was Christmas!" Walter repeated from Eileen. He laughed evilly, head thrown back and arms out to his sides.
"No... no, it wasn't," Henry told him, shaking his head.
Walter cleared his throat and sat back down.
"Sorry," he whispered.
"Um... okay," Cynthia said quietly. "Let's all sing another song!"
They sang the night away, that is, until Walter tried to kill them all, which resulted in running almost aimlessly through the Wish House Forest looking for random stuff that deems itself utterly useless in the end.
FIN!