A/N: HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Julz and Kate here, writing from Kate's very own laptop at 1 in the morning!!!! It's a *sleepover!!!* Well, anyways, if you have read our other twilight stories, you know what to expect! If not…prepare thyself. For off we go!!!!!
Disclaimer: we don't own the twilight series. In fact, it rather irritates us…..
{Bella's POV}
I was cooking some squirrel stew in my knuckerhole cave when I heard the velvet voice. "Bella! Answer the doooooooooooooooooooooooooooor!" Eddie called. I abandoned the stew and ran to answer the wooden door. "EDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAME TO VISIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHALL I GET MY LACY BLACK NUMBA!???!??!!!?!?!" but my tummy moved in a weird way. "BELLA. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I came to warn you!"
"About what, my queen???"
"A vision that Alice old me of!" He twitched and started stomping his foot.
"Come in, Eddie. I shall make you some squirrel tea!" I waddled into the kitchen and stuffed a squirrel into a pot of boiling water. I crawled into the room where Eddie was standing with his nose all wrinkled up.
I went to stand next to him and petted his nose. "OH! I KNOW EDDIE!!!" he turned to me and glared. "Will you let me tell you what I am being forced to come here for??" I giggled in my manly manish man voice. "I know! The squirrel scent is just overpowering!! You should sniff my arm pits to get the smell out!!!" I shoved my arm to his face so he could inhale the delightful aroma.
He screamed a high-pitched girly scream. "EDDIE??? EDDIE! IM SORRY! IT MUST SMELL TOO GOOD!!!!" so I shoved a particularly ripe squirrel in his face to revive him. It must have worked because Edward screamed again and ripped my moustache off. Then he threw it out of my knuckerhole.
The teapot whistled, and I waddled over to it, my fat bouncing everywhere. I handed him the pot o' squirrel tea. "Drink up, my queen, I'll be right back," I said in my gorgeous man voice. As he stared at the tea, I ran into my little corner and finally brought out my lacy black number…..
I waddled out again with my flab exposed, and Edward gave me a look of admiration! I HAVE GAINED HIM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I sat on his lap and stroked his eyebrows.
"What did you want to tell me, my queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen???" He took my hand and placed it on his head.
"Well…Alice says you are going to expect a baby!" Edward chirped.
"A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO'S!!!??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I squealed very manly-ish and tried to jump up and down. But I'm pretty fat, so I mostly jumped down. As the ground of the knuckerhole began to crack under my large weight, Edward's face twisted in rage. For I had just farted. And he hates it when I fart.
So he heaved me up with his super strength, and threw me out of my knuckerhole. "NEVERMIND!!! GO FIND A NEW KNUCKERHOLE!!! WE ARE SO OVER!!!" he shrieked. As I sulked around in my lacy black number, I stumbled along something new…something better. I found me…my very own BUSH!
"Poooodle?" something said from the bush…
TBC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!