Step By Step: SG-1 Style
by BookFreak
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Category: Humor
Disclaimer: I make no claim to ownership of any copyrighted items used within this story, not even the plot because I basically stole that from a TV show. I receive no compensation, monetary or otherwise, for the creation or publication of this short story.
Feedback: PLEASE DO!!! Scale of 1-10 is fine as always. Just REVIEW!
Summary: I just saw this episode of "Step by Step," a 1990s rerun wherein Dana "steals" Karen's boyfriend while "scouting" him and Karen gets her revenge. I just couldn't help wondering how it would play out with SG-1.
Notes: Somehow the ellipsis (the three little periods) didn't make through the ff.net PHP, so whenever you see a capitalization problem, like "Um.so?" that's not a capitalization problem, that's where ff.net chopped an ellipsis short.
Jack uses the curse "ta ma'd[ellipsis]" That's a Chinese phrase to the effect of "His/Her/Its [Chinese does not differentiate between the genders in spoken conversation, although the written characters are different] mother[ellipsis]" and is used for references to one's family, especially on the lines of "mother****" or "mother****ing[and whatever the speaker wishes to include]" It does NOT, despite the rumors, mean "Yo mama" nor is it a dedicated curse. That is, it can be used in a different context in polite conversation. For example, "His mother's hair" would be "ta ma'd tou fa" and is not in any way insulting.
Jack also makes a reference to methanol poisoning. This is because alcohol [read: ETHANOL] is produced as the result of various chemical reactions and your body has enzymes to break it down. When you consume methanol, however, the enzyme will try to break that down, but because it is designed for ethanol it will produce nasty by-product(s) that will poison your body.
Believe it or not, the approved method for treating methanol poisoning is to give the guy more alcohol. Because the enzyme is designed for and thus has a greater affinity for ethanol, they just keep you drunk [read: your enzymes safely occupied with ethanol] until your methanol passes out via your urine. I would not recommend poisoning yourself to get free ethanol.
Domestic administering of the ethanol is contraindicated because if you're stupid enough to drink methanol in the first place, it isn't a good idea to trust you to find safe ethanol. Moreover, if you go to a hospital, they'll stick a fat [think knitting needle] needle directly into your vein and administer the alcohol intravenously, so it gets into your system faster.
by BookFreak
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Category: Humor
Disclaimer: I make no claim to ownership of any copyrighted items used within this story, not even the plot because I basically stole that from a TV show. I receive no compensation, monetary or otherwise, for the creation or publication of this short story.
Feedback: PLEASE DO!!! Scale of 1-10 is fine as always. Just REVIEW!
Summary: I just saw this episode of "Step by Step," a 1990s rerun wherein Dana "steals" Karen's boyfriend while "scouting" him and Karen gets her revenge. I just couldn't help wondering how it would play out with SG-1.
Notes: Somehow the ellipsis (the three little periods) didn't make through the ff.net PHP, so whenever you see a capitalization problem, like "Um.so?" that's not a capitalization problem, that's where ff.net chopped an ellipsis short.
Jack uses the curse "ta ma'd[ellipsis]" That's a Chinese phrase to the effect of "His/Her/Its [Chinese does not differentiate between the genders in spoken conversation, although the written characters are different] mother[ellipsis]" and is used for references to one's family, especially on the lines of "mother****" or "mother****ing[and whatever the speaker wishes to include]" It does NOT, despite the rumors, mean "Yo mama" nor is it a dedicated curse. That is, it can be used in a different context in polite conversation. For example, "His mother's hair" would be "ta ma'd tou fa" and is not in any way insulting.
Jack also makes a reference to methanol poisoning. This is because alcohol [read: ETHANOL] is produced as the result of various chemical reactions and your body has enzymes to break it down. When you consume methanol, however, the enzyme will try to break that down, but because it is designed for ethanol it will produce nasty by-product(s) that will poison your body.
Believe it or not, the approved method for treating methanol poisoning is to give the guy more alcohol. Because the enzyme is designed for and thus has a greater affinity for ethanol, they just keep you drunk [read: your enzymes safely occupied with ethanol] until your methanol passes out via your urine. I would not recommend poisoning yourself to get free ethanol.
Domestic administering of the ethanol is contraindicated because if you're stupid enough to drink methanol in the first place, it isn't a good idea to trust you to find safe ethanol. Moreover, if you go to a hospital, they'll stick a fat [think knitting needle] needle directly into your vein and administer the alcohol intravenously, so it gets into your system faster.