Disclaimer: I do not own Lost. I've just enjoyed the show for all these years.

After watching the finale, I couldn't help going back to that moment where Ben pushed Hurley out of the way of that falling tree, and the way his old enemies helped him out. I thought I'd make a oneshot on Ben's thoughts at that moment. His thinking how far he's come and why this is happening to him.

A Tree That Fell

It was falling, falling quickly and he didn't see it. But how could he? How could anyone take the time to notice with the heavy rainfall and the terrible quake beneath their feet. But I took the time to notice. And for once, I took the time to care. Despite Hugo's rotund form, I knew that he would be crushed under the weight of the trunk; though it looked thin enough, Reyes was still in danger. I did the only thing I could. Without thinking about it. Without thinking what might happen to me. I hurried over to him as he tried to regain his footing. Kate and James were on the ground. They would not be able to save him in time. Only I had regained my foothing fast enough.

"Hugo get out of the way!" I screamed.

I wasn't sure if he heard me, but he felt me as I pushed him to the side. Hugo lost his balance and fell. Maybe I would pay for that later; a misunderstanding that I had tried to hurt Reyes. I wouldn't blame his friends if they thought that. That was the way I was- I hurt people. I lied, I beat and I killed. But now wasn't the time to be thinking of the past. We had to think of the moment. And in that moment, I wasn't going to hurt. I was going to help. The ground was shaking worse than ever as the tree came tumbling down. I stared up at it, wide-eyed, as if I didn't see it coming. But I did. This was the end...for me.

It was all a blur, confusion. But in the chaos I felt it connect and knock me down. The air forced out of my lungs. My abdomen pushed inward so hard I thought there might be serious damage. But as my head crashed onto the rocks, the tree proving its weight by digging into me, I couldn't help feeling I deserved it. This was happening because I deserved it. This tree, was holding me down. It was ironic in a way. My power was gone. All of what was happening was showing me that I had no control all along. I wasn't as powerful or as great of a man that I thought I was. I was nothing, but an arrogant, selfish, jealous boy. Charles was right about one thing. I had been behaving like an immature child. But...if I could do one thing before I died on this island, I would do something I should have. I would be a man and take the bullet for someone else. I wouldn't care if the only thing I got in return was pain.

Pain. It was spreading down to my lower limbs. Breathing was becoming a problem, and I had the rain to contend with. My vision was blurring and I could barely hear. My shaky hands rested on the trunk as I turned my head. The people I felt I had no right to join with were getting to their feet. Kate and James were helping Hugo. So I had done it. I saved him and he was going to be okay, without a scratch. But I couldn't say the same for me. I rested my head back on the rocks and concentrated on trying to breath. I still lived, but there was no way they would see to it that I kept on living. They would abandon me; it was predictable. They would run from here and try to get to safety. They wouldn't care that I had saved Hugo Reyes. I wasn't a good man; not like I should have been. Oddly enough, I wanted them to run. Get as far away from here as possible, because there was no way I was going to...

I stopped. They were surveying the damage of the fallen tree. Hugo was the first to say it to James and Kate when our eyes connected. He was the first to notice; to acknowledge that I had saved him. And with that I harbored a shred of hope. That they wouldn't leave me. I raised myself up as much as I could, but bending was painful. Out of the corner of my eye I could see James and Kate giving me looks of incredibility. I know what they were thinking. How could Benjamin Linus help anyone but himself? How could he possibly help us? But then I saw her moving in my direction.

"We have to get him out," she said, but in a demanding way. She was climbing over the tree as carefully as she could. "Ben!"

James. I expected him to hesitate or refuse. Only a few hours ago, he attacked me; a sharp hit across the jaw nearly set a few teeth free. But Hugo was his friend. One of the few of their small party which had been greatly diminished through death. They couldn't afford another loss. So maybe he had noticed what was happening. Maybe he understood that if it hadn't been for me, Hugo might be dead. So without another thought, he, along with Reyes, got into position. It was unpredictable. Were they really going to save me now? Kate wasn't getting into position. She was focused on me. She was coming toward me, not angry, but grateful. But I couldn't quite meet her eyes. I looked to the tree that was nearly responsible for their misery. I was stuck and I wasn't going anywhere.

"We're gonna get you outta here alright?"

Her hand fell against my arm for comfort. A gesture I had never been given before. She shook my arm to let me know that they would save my life as she said those words. That alone allowed me to take in those words, and believe them. But why would they want to save me? I knew I knew the answer and if it was possible, if I could have another chance, I wouldn't stop them. I wouldn't tell them to run and save themselves. I would silently ask them to please save me, so I can save myself by becoming a better man; like Locke.

Kate turned from me to get into position with Hugo and James. They were already trying by the time Kate joined them. I couldn't believe James was putting so much into it. All his strength, all his determination. And with him I did my share, even though it was pointless. I tried also to push the weight aside.

"It's too damn heavy, there's no way we're getting it off him!" James announced.

"We have to try," Hugo informed him. He was just as determined. I could hear it in his voice. He wanted to pay me back. He didn't have to, but that was the kind of person he was.

"One, two, three!" Kate counted. The grunts were heard as they gave all their might to try and lift the tree. But the earth decided to quake again. It was worse than ever. My hopeful saviors were knocked down once tree ground into me with each violent tremor. If there was serious damage, it was getting worse. I could feel the bark scrape through my clothes and into my skin. In the distance another tree fell. The island was becoming even more dangerous.

"What is happening?" Kate questioned.

"I'll tell you what's happening," James answered. "Locke was right. This island's going down."

It was going down, and I was going down with it. I heard my name called on the walky talky. It was Miles calling to me. Kate answered and in the mist of my pain, I knew it wasn't going to be good news. The rain was coming down even harder. James moved to get a trunk heavy enough to use as leverage while Kate asked Miles about Claire. But all I needed to know was that all means of leaving this deteriorating world was about to leave us behind. They were taking the plane and if we didn't get there in time, we were dead. Another tremor shook, the trunk grinding into me more.

"Son of a bitch!" James cried. "How the hell are we suppose to get over there?" He realized it too.

I let those words sink in. If I doubted that I could not be saved, I would have told them to go on without me. But I didn't. I believed I could get another chance.

"I know how we can get there!" I told him. "Locke has a boat!"

But could I really count myself in that equation? They paused, probably to consider whether I was lying. But they knew that was impossible now. Kate looked at me; was it pity in her eyes? But before I could decide, she turned to her friends. I expected her to tell them they should go. They should leave me behind, and rightly so. But she didn't.

"We have to get him out now!"

"Well great idea Freckles. Got any suggestions?"

"Let's go!" Kate said as she threw all her might into lifting this cursed tree. Even with a damaged shoulder, she still tried her hardest. Hugo joined her in the effort and James used the trunk to push. I added my small amount of strength. Kate counted again, more determined then ever. I was going to be alright. I was going to get another chance!

"One...Two...Three!"

With one final effort, and to my great surprise, the weight lessoned on my body. The tree was rising. But there was no time to celebrate. We continued to give it our all. As I felt it lessen even more, I dropped back against the rocks. I could really feel the pain now. Was I going to die after all? No. I closed my eyes with relief. I didn't feel that the damage was that serious. Air rushed into my lungs as I heard the trunk roll over away from me. Then there were hurried footsteps.

"Are you alright?" Kate asked.

I was still a little surprised that she was so concerned. I didn't know why, but for some reason, I felt like I'd been through this with her before. Her hand fell against me again. I nodded and gave a weak "Yeah" in reply. She raised herself up and seemed to tell James and Hugo what she wanted with her eyes.

"I gotta find Jack."

James gave a quick nod of understanding as she hurried away. James and Hugo then came to my aide; clearly it was an instruction given to them silently by Kate. To make sure I was alright-their old enemy. It was Hugo's turn to pay me back as he took one of my arms to help me to my feet. James took the other. But there was no time for thank yous. Maybe there could have been. But I couldn't say it then.

"Come on, we gotta get to the boat!" James ordered.

"What about Jack and Kate?" Hugo asked.

"I gotta feeling they're where we're headed," James replied. He turned and Hugo followed. It was my choice now whether to follow or not. I was no longer an outcast among them. I could come. Then Hugo paused and turned to face me.

"Oh yeah, thanks dude for like..saving me."

A "Thank you". It was another gesture I never recieved. I stared back at Hugo, now disbelieving that I had actually done something like that. Risked my life for someone who's friends I once put in danger of death.

"You're welcome Hugo," I said polietly as if our lives weren't still at risk. As if I didn't care. But I did. That 'thank you' made all the difference. So as he turned to follow James, I no longer worried wether I could belong among them or not. They would let me have another chance-by letting me live. I would pay them back, I would pay Hugo back for not giving up on me.

As I've said, I couldn't help looking back over that rescue scene. It was so sweet. It didn't matter what Ben had done in the past. He redeemed himself by saving Hurley. I wanted to add more and go back to what we didn't see, like them getting Ben out. But I wanted to concentrate on Ben's thoughts (whether he was thinking such things or not). So hopefully I nailed it.

Even though I have mixed feelings about the Ben Hurley relationship, particularly since they became like #1 and #2, I'd like to write a fic exploring that time. Unfortunately I don't have time to do that. So hopefully fans of that situation could work on a fic like that. We need more Ben fics! Especially Ben fics that aren't oneshots!

I hoped you enjoyed this. Please review and feel free to write that Ben and Hurley fic of them being island protectors. Later.