Chapter 1: Illogical Pairing
The entire world seemed to have lost its mind. The entire world except for him, that is – which just made the situation all the more difficult to deal with. Crona had experienced a lot that morning. Waking up in the cold cell below Shibusen he seemed to be alone, and it was by no means something the young boy was used to. Ragnarok would normally have woken him up hours before he was fully rested but this morning Crona had woken up entirely naturally. He almost felt as if he could deal with life in general now that he was for the first time in his life actually aware of his surroundings entirely. Nonetheless, the absence of his demon sword made him nervous.
"Ragnarok, are you okay…?" He asked uncertainly. "It's really weird you let me sleep properly, I don't know if I can deal with being so awake like this anymore." He whined quietly. The young boy was entirely prepared for the miniaturised Ragnarok to grow out of his back with a scream, yet nothing happened. The silent tension continued for a few minutes before sound finally filled the lonely cell, fleet footsteps carrying down the corridor and growing closer by the second. Whoever it was sounded in a rush, and Crona could not resist the urge to press himself tightly into the corner for safety. He pressed his back against the wall and watched the door, listening out for signs of who might have come to find him in such haste. His entire body tensed up more when the cell door was flung open, a familiar Shinigami stepping into the room.
Death the Kid looked down at him seriously for a moment, his eyes seeming to devour every last detail of the other boy's body, before Kid finally threw himself at Crona.
"Crona, my darling, come to me! I've waited so long for you!" He called out. Fortunately Crona managed to react just in time to roll out of the way, yet it didn't stop Kid from carrying out his affections on the wall. The young shinigami pressed his body tightly to the wall, inhaling deeply through his nose as he rubbed against it. "Oh, Crona, yes, it's wonderful! I can still smell you so perfectly! You're such a good girl Crona, come to Kid, you know you want me too." He mumbled into the wall as he attempted to slip his tongue into its non-existent mouth. Crona stood there, one hand gripping his other forearm tightly and his eyes wide.
"W-what's the matter with him? This doesn't seem right at all, Ragnarok help me! I can't deal with this!" He cried out again, hoping for some sort of reaction. Again, there was no scream and bonk on the head like he'd come to expect from his weapon – all he could hear were Kid's moans of pleasure growing louder as he tried to rub himself up against the wall. Crona eyed him carefully for only a moment more before panic set in and the demon swordsman took off out of the cell, running as fast as his legs would carry him. His mind raced with thoughts as to just what was happening – in his entire life he had barely even spoken to Kid more than a couple of times, and their longest ever conversation had probably been on the ship Nidhogg. Obviously it was not a place they were likely to get to know each other well enough to even be friends, never mind anything more.
It seemed like an eternity passed by as Crona wandered the endless corridors that wound a labyrinth beneath Shibusen. He had eventually given up trying to outrun Kid on the off chance he ran after them, and started to drag his feet along the floor whilst seeking out an exit. Only after what felt like hours of walking did he finally see a shaft of light nearby, and running towards it felt the sweet relief of fresh air bursting into his lungs. He managed a small smile until he looked up the stairs at the woman walking down towards him with thick, blonde hair. She took the steps slowly, one at a time, yet nonetheless her breasts bounced so viciously they threatened to take out her other eye – perhaps the reason she wore her eye patch in the first place.
"Oh my, it seems I'm lost!" She said with a small smile, despite the fact she had only just stepped into the dungeons. "I'm sure YOU can help me though, can't you cutie?" She giggled and leant down, poking Crona gently on the tip of the nose. He looked up at her with a look that could only be described as pure terror, yet she seemed to ignore it. Instead she wrapped her arms around him and hugged the boy close, Crona feeling as if he might suffocate between her breasts. It took all of his strength to push her off, yet even as she fell to the floor and sat looking up at him she looked at him with nothing more than love and desire.
"W-what's going on with everyone? I don't know you that well either!" He cried out. He had hoped she might have some sort of answer for him, yet it was to no avail. She just sat and stared at him mutely, before slowly reaching up to undo her shirt. Even Crona knew where that could lead, so without a moment's hesitation launched himself upstairs into the hopefully safer open air. He ran for a short while to find somewhere recognisable, finally making his way to the front doors of the academy with their enormous staircase extending downwards before him. He took a deep breath, hoping to recover from all the bizarre incidents that had already occurred that morning. Crona tilted his head backwards, trying to just enjoy the fact he could feel the sunlight on his face again, yet saw something less pleasant.
"Yahoo!" Black Star bellowed as he dropped from above, landing perfectly on both feet next to Crona. Even on a good day, he didn't know how to deal with the muscular meister – so if he was suffering the same strange happenings that everyone else had been, then there was certainly no chance he could speak to Black Star now. Nonetheless, he had to try. Swallowing hard in order to muster some courage, Crona spoke up.
"B…B…Black Star? I, some weird stuff happened, and Ragnarok won't come out. I don't know how to deal wi-" He tried to finish speaking, yet was unable to when the other boy interrupted him.
"BIG? Big Black Star is right! You know once you go BIG Black Star you never go back, right? Big big big! Big big big big big big big big!" He stopped making sense entirely, just repeating the same word over and over again except for on the odd occasion wherein he added something about being 'number one' to his stream of senseless ramblings. Crona held his head and stepped slowly away, though the meister was too wrapped up in his own yelling about being big to notice. Glad to be able to slip away easily, Crona ran as quickly as he could down the stairs. Hopefully someone in the town would make a little more sense to him.
It was a surprise when, within moments, he found himself in the town. It was empty, however, many of the regular townspeople having vanished entirely. Somehow the town didn't feel abandoned, all the same, and he could hear some mumblings behind one of the buildings nearby. With great hesitation, Crona slipped into an alleyway and crept down towards the source of the noise. Poking his head around the corner, it took everything he had to scream out in shock. He instantly recognised the two men he saw there – the scientist with glasses and the red-haired man in a suit, both of whom he'd fought against some time ago. What they were doing now was beyond him though. The red-haired man had removed his clothes entirely and was leaning against a wall with his rear thrust out. The scientist had positioned himself behind, wearing nothing but his long white lab coat, and seemed to be moving backwards and forwards in small thrusting motions. Crona didn't understand what was going on between the two of them, but the way the red-haired man kept moaning and groaning he had a feeling it wasn't something he wanted to be a part of. As quickly and quietly as he could Crona returned to the town centre, only to find it was still empty. He had to find somewhere to go, yet crossing the desert would prove to be impossible – especially without Ragnarok offering him help. The lilac-haired boy adjusted his dress and sat down on the lowest step of Shibusen's huge stairway, his hands against his face as he tried to work out what to do or where to go.
Lost in thought, he had no idea how much time had passed until he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. After everything that happened already that day, Crona almost didn't want to turn around to find out what would happen next. The only reason he gave in and faced the other boy was because of what he said.
"Are you still normal at least?" Crona turned around and was immensely relieved that Soul wasn't throwing himself at someone like everybody else seemed to. Crona felt a strange sensation as something tugged at the corners of his lips, turning them upwards slightly.
"…Soul?" He said quietly, slowly getting to his feet. "…oh, I'm not the only one! Everything's gotten so weird!" Crona broke down almost immediately after finding someone he could actually talk to. "Lord Death's son threw himself at me, and then Miss Marie did the same, and Black Star kept telling me he was big and I saw two of the teachers doing bad things behind a building and everyone's gone and Ragnarok won't speak to me! What's going on Soul? I can't deal with this!" He sobbed, panting a little after his sudden flurry of words – he hadn't thought to breathe at all as he spoke, wanting to get it all out at once. Soul laid his hands firmly on Crona's shoulders, staring at him carefully.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down, Crona. Look, I don't know what's going on either – I woke up this morning and Maka was coming at me with a knife, telling me that a man can't be trusted anywhere near her and trying to cut my…well, trying to castrate me. She even started accusing me of things I didn't even do!" He complained angrily, yet upon seeing Crona shrink back at his anger, Soul gathered himself again. "I mean…to add to that, while I was out in town, I saw Liz and Patty doing…well, doing things together that sisters probably shouldn't be." He explained simply, not wanting to go into detail.
"But why is everyone acting so weird? I don't know how to deal with people when they're like this." Crona mumbled under his breath, looking at Soul in the hope he might have an answer.
"I don't know, Crona – but look, it's only us not affected, right? Maybe it's because of the black blood…though I don't get why Ragnarok won't show up. Anyway, first of all, we have to find somewhere safe. We don't know what could happen if we're out in the middle of the town like this." Soul released Crona and jumped slightly as a tall girl with a long black ponytail appeared behind him suddenly, hugging him tightly from behind as her breasts pressed firmly against his back. It took all his strength not to succumb to a huge nosebleed as he turned around to find Tsubaki, apparently comfortable with strutting around town in nothing but a towel.
"Soul! Crona! I'm so glad I found you guys, I have a surprise for you guys if you want it!" She grinned and leant towards them, the towel falling open. Soul cried out in shock and covered his eyes with one hand and Crona's with the other, turning away from Tsubaki before unblocking his own view.
"Damn, I knew it wasn't safe here! Come on Crona, we have to go, now, it might be safer outside of the city!" Without a chance to even react, Crona felt Soul's fingers wrap around his slender wrist and tug him along. The two of them leapt into a mad dash for the town exit, and although Tsubaki chased after them, she successfully knocked herself out as her large breasts bounced up and smacked her in the left eye rather hard.
Outside the city the desert winds were warm and soothing in their silence. Soul panted heavily, releasing Crona as he dropped down onto the floor, sitting down to recover from the unexpected sprint. Crona stood there in awkward silence for a moment before deciding to follow Soul's lead, folding the dress underneath his rear and sitting down carefully beside Soul to face the town. At the very least, nobody seemed to be following them anymore. It took a while for Soul to recover his breath well enough to speak to Crona again.
"So, what now?" He asked finally, Crona staring at him in confusion. It was strange being asked for his opinion, especially after having spent quite so long being ordered what to do by Lady Medusa with no room for arguments.
"I...I don't know, I'm sorry, please don't hurt me!" He panicked, flinching in advance. Soul just stared at him for a moment before laughing quietly, offering a sharp-toothed grin to his companion.
"Hurt you? You've got to be kidding me. I'm just glad I found someone else who hasn't gone totally psycho! Anyway, you said Ragnarok won't talk to you right?" Crona slowly uncurled his body from his flinching position, looking at Soul in utter confusion. It seemed strange that he was not hit for failing to come up with a decent plan, but slowly Crona was beginning to understand that not everyone was quite as violent as his mother was.
"Yes…he won't help me at all. I don't know what's wrong with him today." Soul nodded slowly in response, trying to think it all over.
"That is weird, I mean, he IS the black blood, isn't he? I figured you'd both be fine because of that." As he went silent trying to work everything out in his head, a small pattering of feet nearby alerted them both to the presence of a third party.
"You both look exhausted-nyah." They looked up to find a small black cat sat in front of them, licking one of its paws.
"Blair?" Soul muttered cautiously. She was a dangerous woman at the best of times – if she'd been affected like all the others, he dreaded to think what would come of it. "Are you…okay?" He said slowly, his hands on the floor, prepared to make a run for it if need be.
She giggled quietly, scratching her head a bit with one of her front paws. "Of course I am silly, it won't affect me like it did the others. I'm too easy, so people don't bother." She explained. Soul and Crona looked at each other for a moment, silently agreeing that she could be trusted, before Soul tried to extract more information from her.
"…what do you mean, people won't bother, Blair? Do you know what's going on, who's doing all this? Please, we have no idea what's happening to everybody!" He pleaded. She seemed to enjoy his begging, and decided to help them out as a result of it.
"Fine-nyah, I guess its best I tell you. I don't know why it didn't affect you guys, but…its fan girls." Soul looked surprised, staring at her.
"F…Fan girls?"
"That's right-nyah! I don't know how, but they've taken over everyone's minds – well, everyone except us I guess-nyah." Soul let his shoulders sink down, stupefied by the news.
"But…how can they do that? How long is this going to last, anyway?" He grumbled, but Blair just tilted down her witch's hat and offered a fanged grin.
"Last? It's just getting started, look." Soul and Crona turned around to follow her gaze, and were amazed by the horde of people approaching from the distance. Somehow a lot of them seemed to resemble people they already knew, but with minor changes such as hair colour – and those of them that weren't so familiar to the two of them just looked like each other instead.
"Who…who are they!" Soul called out, scrambling to his feet as Crona did the same, the two of them doing their best to stand steady and prepared for the onslaught of strange teenagers coming their way. Blair sighed heavily, changing into her human form in a puff of violet smoke, preparing to fight alongside the two boys and staring with disdain at the oncoming hoard.
"OC's." She said under her breath in disgust.