Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of One Tree Hill.
Summary: Story takes place back in first season when Brooke found out Lucas cheated on her with Peyton and how she deals with it. Her methods of making the pain go away prove to be dangerous and even deadly.
Coupling: Brooke and Lucas
Author's Note: I wrote a story that will be similar to this one. I just never finished the other one. This is a dark fiction, so don't read it if you are squeamish.
To Bleed Dry
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So this is me now. I never thought that I would be in this position. I am supposed to be the rich, snobby slut that the girls hate and the guys dream of. I'm not supposed to have a heart or fall in love. I should be the queen of flings and one night stands. I am not supposed to let guys in. I told myself this for the longest time. Guys only break you. I can't believe that I knew that and still did what I did.
I allowed a boy to bring down my walls that I had spent a lifetime putting around me. He took down the walls that mask who I really am. He managed to hurt me. I am not supposed to hurt. I shouldn't feel either. My emotions have only gotten the best of me in the past, and now in the present. I also recently discovered that people are not who they say they are. People always let you down. Friends should never let you down, especially your best friends.
Lucas Scott. That is the name of the one guy I ever let myself go for. I told him things that I had never told anyone and I allowed myself to love who he is and everything about him. Guys used to be toys to me. I would play with them one night and the leave them before the sun came. The system of sex and dash worked for me for so long and I regret breaking my routine.
Peyton Sawyer. She is my ex-best friend. I have known her for the longest time. I helped her get through a rough times when were younger and she would help me too. I thought I knew who she was. I thought that knowing someone and loving someone for that long was supposed to mean something. I was wrong. People lie and deceive to get what they want with no regard for others. That is what she is like and she no longer means anything to me.
Neither of them mean a thing to me anymore. Ever since I caught them in bed together on the web cam. I know that they weren't sleeping with each other, but I knew they were seeing each other. And the fact that they lied about it right to my face stabs my heart. I can't believe that they would do that to me. Seeing them together on the monitor killed me.
The experience of being lied to and hurt has taught me to go with my first instincts and they told me to never trust anyone because people only cause you pain.
So here I am looking at myself in the bathroom in a nightclub. The bathroom is small and grimy. The mirror that I am staring into is fogged and cracked. I have been here for a few hours, drinking and dancing with random guys trying to make the feeling to go away. I now feel numb and dizzy. I look at my reflection and I am disgusted. My hair is messy and wild and my black eye make up is smudged, making me look sick and dark. I look like a slut in my black leather mini skirt and black halter top. This is the image I want to portray. I want to be the person I was before all of the drama.
Tears unconsciously spring from my eyes, making my make up run. It's so weird that I am crying. I know I feel sad and that I want to cry like there is no tomorrow, but I can't control my tears and I am so numb. I am so sick of myself, of who I am, and what I let happen. All the anger builds up in me and I do it before I am even aware.
I hear the shattering sound and I feel the pain shock my right hand. As I look at my fist and see only red blood spilling from open wounds on my knuckles, and I realize that I have lost all control. I've lost control of my actions and my mind. The small pieces of mirror in my skin make my hand throb. The pain intensifies when I unclench my fist. Strangely, as the pain thumps in my hand, I feel a sense of release, almost like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I see my reflection in the left over shards of mirror. I see my soul in relation to the mirror- broken. I release more tears and crumble to the ground.
In my mind I keep going over the situation, but I don't know where I could have gone wrong. I keep wondering how could they do this to me? Didn't either of them love me? I submitted myself to him and he just pushed me back. I just want him to love me like I love him. Why?
There are no answers to my questions because the only people that have them are the people that I don't think I could face again. I sit against a wall of the bathroom and just cry. I cry because of my failure. I cry because even though he hurt me, I'm still madly in love with Lucas Scott. I cry because I have no one anymore.
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This is just a little intro into the story. Just to show you how Brooke is feeling. Plot shall thicken eventually. So how do you like??