Medical Diagnosis

There are loads of time travel fanfics out there, particularly ones where Shinji goes back in time after 3rd Impact. Assume this is one of those. This story is a bit of a crackfic.

I do not own Evangelion.

Shinji stepped out onto the catwalk and resisted the temptation to spit into the sea of LCL below. After all, he could do that later on when nobody was looking.
'Not like it really matters. I've already seen the end of world. Even if the Angels don't bring about 3rd Impact, my Father will. The bastard.'

The chamber around him suddenly lit up completely, and he made sure to look particularly shocked as he saw Unit One for what was ostensibly the first time. Misato was saying something, but he couldn't bring himself to pay much attention, until he realised the one person he hated most (apart from Asuka on occasion) had just shown up.

"And you will pilot it Shinji," announced Gendo Ikari from on high.

Shinji looked up at Gendo, and grinned.
"You know Father, I think I've determined the nature of your problem. You are what is known as a 'Sociopath'," Shinji made sure to draw out the word, "which is to say, that you feel no empathy for other people."
"Shinji!" warned Misato.
'Just what has my brother been saying to Shinji about me?'
Shinji smirked when he saw Gendo's expression tighten. "Typical behaviour for a sociopath usually includes manipulating others for personal gain, a propensity for viewing life as a game where everyone else is playing by silly rules like 'morality', a tendency to rise to the top of any power structure, and the willingness to do things that no normal person would in order to achieve your goals. How is this sounding so far?"

Gendo kept his reaction under control, though his expression darkened. "This is not the time for personal conversations, Shinji. You will pilot the Evangelion now."
Shinji stared up into his eyes. "Why will I do that? There's no way I'm getting ba-getting to be anywhere near that thing! First thing when I get here, you expect me to just jump into a giant robot and go off to fight some gigantic monster? Are you nuts, or just crazy?"
Gendo waved to an assistant, who rushed off towards the medical bay. "It is not necessary for you to do so. I simply felt it likely you might choose to do so of your own will."

Shinji turned away from Gendo, knowing what was going to happen next. Gendo's actions really did make a lot of sense if you thought of them in the right terms. He spoke to Misato, but made sure to keep his voice loud enough for Gendo's microphones to pick up the sounds. "Honestly, what a huge jerk. If he doesn't need me to pilot, then that means he has someone else to pilot this thing anyway. I'm not even trained for this!" Trying to appear thoughtful, he continued, "though I guess even he wouldn't be so reckless as to let me do this if he had better options. Whoever this other pilot is, they'd have to be a worse prospect for piloting than me, which is definitely saying something. Are they even younger than me, or horribly traumatised? Maybe they were grievously wounded from piloting one of these things before? Of course, if that's the case, my Father would have to have a really strong hold over them, to make pilot in such a condition." Shinji worked to extinguish his grin as he imagined his father's reaction to him thoroughly predicted every aspect of NERV's condition. Misato looked on in something like horror.
"Now, considering what I know of my Father, this hold is probably something really subtle or insidious. Blackmail wouldn't work too well against a kid, unless he threatened their family, he might have used a hero complex to get someone to try, but the fact is that if the pilot was so badly injured that he thought an untrained pilot would be more effective, then normal motivations just might not stand up to the pain of those injuries, at least not if they're a kid like me. My money is on brainwashing and indoctrination." Shinji snuck a glance up at Gendo, who was staring at him like a small insect he wanted to crush. Gendo pulled his glasses off his face and began rubbing one of the frames absently.
"Whoever this pilot is, she's probably kept isolated from everyone else, holds no strong connections to people other than my Father or his underlings, and has been told from a young age that her job is to pilot the Evangelion."

Misato stopped gaping long enough to pick up on a strange detail. "How do you know the other pilot is a she?"
Shinji shrugged. "Well, that's her, isn't it?" he replied, pointing to where Dr. Akagi was running up with Rei being wheeled along behind her. Shinji made sure to place an appalled look upon his face. It wasn't hard.
"Rei, you will now pilot the Evangelion," demanded Gendo.
Beside Dr. Akagi, Rei began to struggle out of bed. "Yes sir," she managed; her voice low.
Shinji spun to face his Father. "No, that's alright, I'll do it. Just because you have no ability to care about others doesn't mean I'll let you throw her life away like this. Now, what do I have to do to get into this thing?"

As soon as Misato and Ritsuko explained enough that he could avoid revealing his future knowledge, Shinji turned towards the Evangelion and began getting in. Turning his head back, he couldn't resist one last dig at Gendo. "Honestly Father, you're such a selfish bastard. I wouldn't be surprised if you brought about the end of the world if you thought it would give you what you wanted."

Gendo's glasses shattered in his hands.

Shinji's eyes widened.

"Oops."