Slayer Beauty
A/N: The whole slayer-fairy tale thing has been a little overdone, I know. But it's fun, writing these thingies. Also, MAJOR Riley bashings in here. I, for one, never did like the poncey bugger. Also also, I will be narrating this. Please expect our favorite vampires with souls to be doing fairly crazy things.
Summary: A really screwed up version of Sleeping Beauty.
Pairings: B/X, some S/D (Spike and Drusilla, not to be confused with Spike and Dawn), mild A/C, and W/F
"OK, on with the bloody story!"
Shut up, Spike! I'll get to it. Let me finish rambling first.
Ok, NOW the sodding story begins.
Once upon a time, in the not to distant past, there was a lost kingdom called Sunnydale. Clichéd, I know, but just bear with me here. This IS a fairy tale, after all.
Anyway, the king and queen were very lonely. They had wanted a child for many years, but had never succeeded. Unfortunately.
"Can we get on with this? I want to get on with the bloody story."
Calm down. And I would appreciate it if you would not talk to the nice audience until AFTER you are properly introduced.
"Sorry."
Please ignore him. He's pissed that I won't let him hook up with Buffy.
Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted.
At last, the happy couple's wish was granted. They were given a baby girl.
"Aaaww! Wes, isn't she the cutest little thing you've ever seen?" Fred cooed happily. The baby giggled.
"Well, she needs a name," Wesley said.
"OK, how about Elizabeth?" The resident seer, Cordelia, suggested.
Um, that IS Buffy's real name, but would you like the slayer to be called Elizabeth?
"You're right."
Thank you. Now, please continue.
"Alright. How about Buffy?"
"Alright."
"I can deal with that."
Murmurs of agreements came from the onlookers, who were more commonly known as the Fang Gang.
"Ok, I now dub you Buffy!" Fred cried happily.
And that, my friends, is how the story starts. Now, on to the really interesting part.
"We gotta have a party!" Cordy suddenly exclaimed.
"Good idea! I'll prepare the guest list!" Lorne cried.
3 hours later...
"OK, I'm done," Lorne said.
"Took ya long enough," Cordy grumbled.
"OK, we got everybody, I think."
"Did you invite Harmony?" Angel asked.
"No."
"Good."
"Did you get Darla?"
"Yes. I thought it was a good idea, that way she doesn't go all evil on us. Harmony can't really do anything but annoy us."
"You do have a point there," Cordelia said.
2 weeks later...
The party was in full swing. All the residents of Sunnydale (minus Harmony) were attending, and all was good.
"Ahem!"
Right. Sorry. Then, the three good fairies...
"Fairies?"
All right, fine. The three good VAMPIRES entered. These vampires just happened to have magic powers.
"That's better."
Can I get ON with it now?
"If I say no, will you hurt me?"
Maybe.
"Ok, fine. Yes, you can go back to the story."
Thank you. Now, as I was saying, the three good vampires were Spike, also known as William the Bloody,
"Hey!"
Angelus, also known as Angel, and Drusilla, also known as Dru. There. I introduced you. Now, will you bloody shut up?!
"Yes."
Thank you. Cor, bloody vampires. I never get any appreciation around here. *narrator wanders off mumbling obscene things about 'those bloody ungrateful vampires.'
A/N: The whole slayer-fairy tale thing has been a little overdone, I know. But it's fun, writing these thingies. Also, MAJOR Riley bashings in here. I, for one, never did like the poncey bugger. Also also, I will be narrating this. Please expect our favorite vampires with souls to be doing fairly crazy things.
Summary: A really screwed up version of Sleeping Beauty.
Pairings: B/X, some S/D (Spike and Drusilla, not to be confused with Spike and Dawn), mild A/C, and W/F
"OK, on with the bloody story!"
Shut up, Spike! I'll get to it. Let me finish rambling first.
Ok, NOW the sodding story begins.
Once upon a time, in the not to distant past, there was a lost kingdom called Sunnydale. Clichéd, I know, but just bear with me here. This IS a fairy tale, after all.
Anyway, the king and queen were very lonely. They had wanted a child for many years, but had never succeeded. Unfortunately.
"Can we get on with this? I want to get on with the bloody story."
Calm down. And I would appreciate it if you would not talk to the nice audience until AFTER you are properly introduced.
"Sorry."
Please ignore him. He's pissed that I won't let him hook up with Buffy.
Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted.
At last, the happy couple's wish was granted. They were given a baby girl.
"Aaaww! Wes, isn't she the cutest little thing you've ever seen?" Fred cooed happily. The baby giggled.
"Well, she needs a name," Wesley said.
"OK, how about Elizabeth?" The resident seer, Cordelia, suggested.
Um, that IS Buffy's real name, but would you like the slayer to be called Elizabeth?
"You're right."
Thank you. Now, please continue.
"Alright. How about Buffy?"
"Alright."
"I can deal with that."
Murmurs of agreements came from the onlookers, who were more commonly known as the Fang Gang.
"Ok, I now dub you Buffy!" Fred cried happily.
And that, my friends, is how the story starts. Now, on to the really interesting part.
"We gotta have a party!" Cordy suddenly exclaimed.
"Good idea! I'll prepare the guest list!" Lorne cried.
3 hours later...
"OK, I'm done," Lorne said.
"Took ya long enough," Cordy grumbled.
"OK, we got everybody, I think."
"Did you invite Harmony?" Angel asked.
"No."
"Good."
"Did you get Darla?"
"Yes. I thought it was a good idea, that way she doesn't go all evil on us. Harmony can't really do anything but annoy us."
"You do have a point there," Cordelia said.
2 weeks later...
The party was in full swing. All the residents of Sunnydale (minus Harmony) were attending, and all was good.
"Ahem!"
Right. Sorry. Then, the three good fairies...
"Fairies?"
All right, fine. The three good VAMPIRES entered. These vampires just happened to have magic powers.
"That's better."
Can I get ON with it now?
"If I say no, will you hurt me?"
Maybe.
"Ok, fine. Yes, you can go back to the story."
Thank you. Now, as I was saying, the three good vampires were Spike, also known as William the Bloody,
"Hey!"
Angelus, also known as Angel, and Drusilla, also known as Dru. There. I introduced you. Now, will you bloody shut up?!
"Yes."
Thank you. Cor, bloody vampires. I never get any appreciation around here. *narrator wanders off mumbling obscene things about 'those bloody ungrateful vampires.'