Baby needs a new blanket
It's a rainy Sunday night and I just finished laying out my suit for the interview I have tomorrow morning. I glance in the cracked mirror at my reflection telling myself not to be nervous. After washing my face I rest my head on the counter. It must have been the force of my body hitting the surface that caused the bottle to fall. But It doesn't really matter what caused the crash, because now that he was awake I had other things to deal with.
"What the hell was that?" She demands as she comes storming in the room.
"It Broke," I reply with indifference. I can already hear him crying. She looks at me, exhausted and disappointed, then she turns and walks toward him and picks him up to cradle him in her arms. After cleaning the mess I go with them and any question I had in my mind about the next day disappeared, now I knew why I was doing this, it was for him.
Her voice was so low, so sincere, yet so distant when she looked straight ahead and said "We need formula. I can't keep giving him sugar and water, he's getting sick."
"I know," I say softly stroking her hair.
"We need some bread for ourselves, some wood for the fire." I hold her in my arms, why did I do this to her.
"I know," I repeat.
"He needs a new blanket, something that will keep him warm, without any wood for the fire we ought to have a blanket for him. He's sick you know, and the sugar and water, it won't suffice." I love how she hasn't forgotten her education, how in desperate times she can throw around words like suffice. I'd ask her what it means, but I'm sure it'd only drain her more, I just assume that is has to do with the lack of money and the growing needs for the family. I feel a fresh tear on my arm and I hold her even tighter.
"I know love, I know."
"You need to get this job tomorrow. We need the money. I'd get one too but who would be here to care for him, maybe in a year or so."
"Sweetie, I promise, I'll go to the interview."
"You said that last time."
"I know, but this time I will. I won't my apprehension stop me anymore." She smiles, partly because she trusts my word and is reassured that things will get better, but mainly because I used the word 'apprehension' and she's sure I don't know what it means.
I take the lad from her and let her lay down. It's been a long week for her, and after all isn't Sunday the day for rest? She deserves something better than this, some one better than me. I look toward he sleeping from and promise myself that I'll make her life better, better than she ever thought it could be. He has her nose. It's the first thing I noticed about him. She was looking at me saying "Oh Spot isn't he beautiful," and while nodding my head in agreement I was staring at his little, bumpy, but perfect nose. It is what is unique about her, and now him. Sure the kid has my clear blue eyes, but I couldn't care less, just as long as he always kept that little nose. I smile at my baby boy as he breaths steadily in my arms. "You're gonna be a big man someday," I tell him. "Big and strong, not like me. You'll have all the best to offer to any girl that is lucky enough to be with you. You won't know times like this. I promise. I don't want you to grow up and not be able to feed your son. You won't be worthless. You won't be me, I'll see to that son. I love you too much to let you be destroyed." I hadn't realized I went on for so long, I must have put him to sleep. I set him down and kiss his small frame. Tomorrow is the day that it'll all begin to change. I lay my head down on the hard mattress and let myself fall fast asleep.
When I awake they are both fast asleep, and I'm glad for it. I couldn't look them in the eye right now. I put on my suit and check my pockets, everything is secure, satisfied I leave the apartment. I walk down the narrow alleyways until I reach the main road that holds the building I am looking for. When on this main road I see a few police officers, they make me nervous, I've never liked the bulls. Finally I arrive at my destinations and I stand in front of the building for several moments before entering, it's now or never, I tell myself, and never isn't an option. Think of the boy. I walk in and take a nervous glance around the room.
"Mr. Crayman?" the secretary glances around the room and I rise out of my chair. That's me I guess. I walk into his office and she shuts the door behind me. I place a hand on my pocket before shaking his hand.
"Let's begin," he says and I nod urging him to start the process and the questions. I touch nothing.
"Have you got any experience?" I answer the questions automatically without thought. There is so much sweat dripping off my face that I don't know if I even hear the questions anymore. He keeps talking and I keep nodding. I look around the room and I notice that he has got to have a lot of money. He has a gold paperweight and I bet that thing is worth more than my yearly income. I bet that thing could feed my family for weeks. He smiles and asks if I have any questions. I'm swallow hard, here it goes, it's now or never, I tell myself, and never isn't an option. I mutter a no and he offers a hand. With my right hand I shake, but with my left I draw the knife from my coat pocket and into his heart. He still has that dumb smile on his face as he lays in a pool of his own blood. Lucky for me he doesn't even scream, just kind of gags or something like that. I take the bag from my pocket and place the knife in it. I take one last glance around the room and my eye lingers on the paperweight. On an impulse I grab the damn thing and shove it in my left pocket.
I walk out of the building and turn to the left. I walk to the three blocks and take a right. There she is waiting at the corner. She nods when she sees me and as I pass an envelope is placed in my pocket and the knife withdrawn. The switch is made and I'm home free.
When I get home I look at her patching his blanket and I smile. Things are going to be so much better now.
She lifts her head, she's so beautiful and she takes my hand "So did you get the job?"
"I sure did," I said and her arms are around me before I know it and the boy is lingering at my feet. I look at him and pick him off the floor and snuggle his small body close to mine. "You won't ever be like me."
A/N: Review Review
It's a rainy Sunday night and I just finished laying out my suit for the interview I have tomorrow morning. I glance in the cracked mirror at my reflection telling myself not to be nervous. After washing my face I rest my head on the counter. It must have been the force of my body hitting the surface that caused the bottle to fall. But It doesn't really matter what caused the crash, because now that he was awake I had other things to deal with.
"What the hell was that?" She demands as she comes storming in the room.
"It Broke," I reply with indifference. I can already hear him crying. She looks at me, exhausted and disappointed, then she turns and walks toward him and picks him up to cradle him in her arms. After cleaning the mess I go with them and any question I had in my mind about the next day disappeared, now I knew why I was doing this, it was for him.
Her voice was so low, so sincere, yet so distant when she looked straight ahead and said "We need formula. I can't keep giving him sugar and water, he's getting sick."
"I know," I say softly stroking her hair.
"We need some bread for ourselves, some wood for the fire." I hold her in my arms, why did I do this to her.
"I know," I repeat.
"He needs a new blanket, something that will keep him warm, without any wood for the fire we ought to have a blanket for him. He's sick you know, and the sugar and water, it won't suffice." I love how she hasn't forgotten her education, how in desperate times she can throw around words like suffice. I'd ask her what it means, but I'm sure it'd only drain her more, I just assume that is has to do with the lack of money and the growing needs for the family. I feel a fresh tear on my arm and I hold her even tighter.
"I know love, I know."
"You need to get this job tomorrow. We need the money. I'd get one too but who would be here to care for him, maybe in a year or so."
"Sweetie, I promise, I'll go to the interview."
"You said that last time."
"I know, but this time I will. I won't my apprehension stop me anymore." She smiles, partly because she trusts my word and is reassured that things will get better, but mainly because I used the word 'apprehension' and she's sure I don't know what it means.
I take the lad from her and let her lay down. It's been a long week for her, and after all isn't Sunday the day for rest? She deserves something better than this, some one better than me. I look toward he sleeping from and promise myself that I'll make her life better, better than she ever thought it could be. He has her nose. It's the first thing I noticed about him. She was looking at me saying "Oh Spot isn't he beautiful," and while nodding my head in agreement I was staring at his little, bumpy, but perfect nose. It is what is unique about her, and now him. Sure the kid has my clear blue eyes, but I couldn't care less, just as long as he always kept that little nose. I smile at my baby boy as he breaths steadily in my arms. "You're gonna be a big man someday," I tell him. "Big and strong, not like me. You'll have all the best to offer to any girl that is lucky enough to be with you. You won't know times like this. I promise. I don't want you to grow up and not be able to feed your son. You won't be worthless. You won't be me, I'll see to that son. I love you too much to let you be destroyed." I hadn't realized I went on for so long, I must have put him to sleep. I set him down and kiss his small frame. Tomorrow is the day that it'll all begin to change. I lay my head down on the hard mattress and let myself fall fast asleep.
When I awake they are both fast asleep, and I'm glad for it. I couldn't look them in the eye right now. I put on my suit and check my pockets, everything is secure, satisfied I leave the apartment. I walk down the narrow alleyways until I reach the main road that holds the building I am looking for. When on this main road I see a few police officers, they make me nervous, I've never liked the bulls. Finally I arrive at my destinations and I stand in front of the building for several moments before entering, it's now or never, I tell myself, and never isn't an option. Think of the boy. I walk in and take a nervous glance around the room.
"Mr. Crayman?" the secretary glances around the room and I rise out of my chair. That's me I guess. I walk into his office and she shuts the door behind me. I place a hand on my pocket before shaking his hand.
"Let's begin," he says and I nod urging him to start the process and the questions. I touch nothing.
"Have you got any experience?" I answer the questions automatically without thought. There is so much sweat dripping off my face that I don't know if I even hear the questions anymore. He keeps talking and I keep nodding. I look around the room and I notice that he has got to have a lot of money. He has a gold paperweight and I bet that thing is worth more than my yearly income. I bet that thing could feed my family for weeks. He smiles and asks if I have any questions. I'm swallow hard, here it goes, it's now or never, I tell myself, and never isn't an option. I mutter a no and he offers a hand. With my right hand I shake, but with my left I draw the knife from my coat pocket and into his heart. He still has that dumb smile on his face as he lays in a pool of his own blood. Lucky for me he doesn't even scream, just kind of gags or something like that. I take the bag from my pocket and place the knife in it. I take one last glance around the room and my eye lingers on the paperweight. On an impulse I grab the damn thing and shove it in my left pocket.
I walk out of the building and turn to the left. I walk to the three blocks and take a right. There she is waiting at the corner. She nods when she sees me and as I pass an envelope is placed in my pocket and the knife withdrawn. The switch is made and I'm home free.
When I get home I look at her patching his blanket and I smile. Things are going to be so much better now.
She lifts her head, she's so beautiful and she takes my hand "So did you get the job?"
"I sure did," I said and her arms are around me before I know it and the boy is lingering at my feet. I look at him and pick him off the floor and snuggle his small body close to mine. "You won't ever be like me."
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