He had everything he needed. Everything was set. Still… he stood there, packed and ready to go, but something was holding him back; telling him he couldn't. It was her. He had to just stay, and observe her for just a second longer. Just one more glance…
She was asleep; her face softly pressed against the pillow on her side of the bed. He could see that one of her legs was pulled up a bit, the other slightly more stretched. She always slept like that, and it was the perfect way to hold her slim body in his strong arms. They fit perfectly, spooning, two puzzle pieces that just seemed to become one. It was clear perfection. Well, she was. She was… He, the writer of all people could not find words clear enough to describe how he made her feel, how he felt about her, and how she seemed to exist in every little thing she did, other than the words extraordinary perfect.
For all he knew, she was dreaming about those thoughts at this exact moment, as she had admitted many times before, as a smile spread across her peaceful features. At least it would be so much better than the dream he'd had that night. He should be going back to bed. It wasn't even dawn, but he could not get the thoughts out of his head, and it had to be done right now. Though he knew she wouldn't catch a new case and wake up before dawn as usual mornings with a new case, but he still had to be careful.
Perhaps it was doubt pondering inside. After all he was unsure about this, but he simply had to. Not for himself, no. For her. He wanted to make sure she was safe, after all these years… This was the only way.
He could not get the police involved. That wasn't really an option seeing as there was not enough evidence, and all they had found two years ago, was illegal. Ryan and Esposito knew about the case, but they were detectives. They would not approve of his plans, though he knew they had the same goal, they'd want it be done the right way. Right way? Hell, there was no right way when you were dealing with a Senator running for President. He had connections everywhere, and you simply couldn't get to him. There was no touching him, putting everything to justice and putting him away, in jail. He'd get out one way or another.
This way, was the only way for her to be safe, and settle this, once and for all.
He decided, in that moment as she stirred and put his mind to rest, that he would not run. He'd stay by her side. He would make sure to be careful. He knew how everything worked, so he knew what to watch out for and avoid. After all those years working with them, and studying murders for his books, he knew what the perfect kill was. After he would try his best to replicate it. He and the senator, except for a few encounters, had nothing in common. He wouldn't be a number one suspect. Certainly not now that he is running for president and the other party and terrorism are a big factor. No one would even suspect a novelist from New York protecting his fiancé.
The investigation would be long, with either a lot of leads that turn up nothing, or no leads at all.
But if he eventually got caught, the people that loved him, and he cared about, knew. They would know that he did the right thing and instead of killing an innocent man, stopped a serial killer that was unstoppable. In his opinion, it was justified. He didn't care for anyone's opinion but hers. The love of his life that he'd do anything for. Even murder if that meant keeping her safe.
Always.