This started out with me changing up the words to "Dear John," then I got to thinking that Annie would probably listen to Taylor Swift. Then it became a challenge to use all of the songs on the CD. I hope you find the funny mixed in with the maudlin.

I Should've Known

Annie sat in her car in the Greendale parking lot, crying as she sent the text to Abed. Once again, she had put herself out there for a guy, and once again she was humiliated.

At least Rich had let her down more gently than Jeff. She couldn't even get mad at Rich: he was the perfect guy. Suddenly she found that to be more annoying than charming.

Annie wished she had some wine at home. Grownups got drunk after getting their hearts broken, right? But she couldn't buy her own liquor, and she wasn't about to ask for help from anyone in the group.

Her eyes lit up as she remembered that Annie Edison couldn't buy alcohol, but Caroline Decker from Corpus Christi, 78418, sure as hell could. Wiping off her tears, she started her car and roared away from Greendale.

Back in her apartment, after downing a glass of merlot, Annie decided this pity party needed some music. When she turned on her iPod, she saw it was set to "Love Story" by Taylor Swift, and she remembered how hopeful she was on the way to class this morning, thinking she had finally landed on the right guy.

Snorting in disgust, she flipped up to Speak Now and heard the intro to Mine. "Oh, great, two people who meet in college having a happy ending," she grumbled as she hit the forward button, "just what I need."

Flip – Sparks Fly

Annie poured herself another glass of wine as the lyrics began.

You're the kind of reckless that should send me running
But I kinda know that I won't get far

And you stood there in front of me just
Close enough to touch

She had been so close to Jeff earlier. Sure, it was pretty crazy walking into the men's bathroom, but she had to know what was going on with him. Or rather, she already knew; she just wanted him to say it. But he refused to admit he was jealous, and he refused to admit he had feelings for her.

But he never said he didn't have feelings for her, either…

"Stupid Jeff Winger and his stupid…talking…skills," she muttered angrily.

Flip – Back to December

Oh, December, when she had helped dredge the river with Rich. Rich had brought a candle to place in her Egg McMuffin for her birthday. It was the morning they picked up trash in the park. He was so sweet, so thoughtful, so good.

More muttering: "Stupid Rich and his stupid goodness. And his stupid kettle corn."

Flip – Speak Now

I'm am not the kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veiled occasion

Trouble was, Annie knew she was that kind of girl. If Jeff were marrying someone, she would probably barge in on the wedding to stop it. Well, she would be invited, so she wouldn't have to barge in.

"He would invite me, right?"

Nope, that wasn't the point, she reminded herself. The point was, Jeff shouldn't be getting married. He shouldn't be getting married to anyone else…

Shaking her head, she took a big gulp of wine and put the image of Jeff in a tux, waiting at the end of a church aisle, out of her head.

Flip – Dear John

"Oh, here we go!" Annie shouted in triumph, turning up the volume. "John Mayer did you wrong, Taylor, and Jeff Winger has done me wrong, too! Sucky, commitment-phobic, thirty-something year old men! Here's to the young girls fighting back!"

She opened her eyes slowly, embarrassed to find she had thrust her fist in the air and yelled to absolutely no one.

I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules every day

Annie uncrossed her legs and made herself comfortable as she sang along, changing the words as she got to the first chorus.

"Dear Jeff, I see it all now it was wrong
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with
The girl in the dress is smarter than you

"Dear Jeff, you lied to me in the bathroom,
Don't you think I know you better than that, douche bag"

She was really getting into it now, raising her glass in the air and swaying it back and forth.

"Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need to kiss me then pretend it didn't happen

"And you try to act like you don't care that I want someone else
But you'll look back with regret
When I finally find a man who loves meeee

"Don't you think 19's too young to be played by your dark, twisted games
When I loved you so,
I should've known, Jefffff…"

"Wa-hoo!" she yelped in her best Texas accent as the song ended.

Flip - Mean

Rich wasn't mean. Why wasn't he mean? Didn't he ever get angry? Didn't he ever want to scream at the top of his lungs because his pen kept getting stolen?

She heard Jeff's voice: "No one can be this good of a person."

Jeff certainly wasn't that good of a person, and he had been mean to her on more than one occasion.

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like I'm nothing

Why was she so willing to overlook that?

"Because he's…Jeff Winger," she whispered.

And I can see you years from now in a bar,
Talking over a football game,
With that same big loud opinion but,
Nobody's listening,
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

Annie snorted out a laugh at the thought of an old, fat, drunk Jeff Winger sitting alone in a bar. That would be a fitting ending for the Jeff who left her hanging after the Transfer Dance, and again tonight in the bathroom.

But her friend Jeff deserved better, she thought sadly.