Pain ran through Frisk's body.

They ignored it and got up. We have a plot to get to, after all—can't go wasting that shoestring budget on long, boring, and expensive descriptions of how the pain spread from the soles of their feet to—

Ah, right.

Faint light spilled from a door across the room. Frisk looked up. Barring the possibility that they might spontaneously grow wings and be able to fly back up through the hole, it seemed that there would be no getting back up to the surface for now. Thus, going through the door had seemed like a good option at the time.

The poor fool.

"HOOIIIII! I'M FLOWEY, THA FLOWER!"

The shrill voice of what sounded like a Tumblrite rang through the room. Frisk began to wonder if waiting endlessly in the last room for the off-chance that they might grow wings would be a better decision after all. If they knew anything about quantum physics, it was bound to happen on one timeline.

Don't question the internal logic of a child knowing quantum physics. We couldn't afford a fact-checker.

Gritting their teeth, Frisk approached the figure in the middle of the room. It appeared to be a small fairy…cat…emo…thing, like some horrible abomination you might see at an anime convention. A silly smile lit up its face.

"DO U KNOWS HOW 2 GET THA LUVS?!"

"The…the what now?"

"DOWN HERE, WE SHARES LUVS WITH TEM FLAKES!" A circle of white…somethings…that looked vaguely like wood shavings appeared above its head. "TRY AND CATCH 'EM ALL!"

At once, the circle of very-definitely-white-painted-sawdust shot at Frisk at an unimaginably fast speed.

With their incredible dodging skills built up from years of playing Touhou, they slid to the right just in time to avoid a lung-crushing storm of dust.

"That…feels like a really bad idea, somehow. And also, I'm pretty sure those aren't edible."

The horrible abomination's smile twitched. Slowly, it broke down into a jack-o-lantern-esque grimace.

"U KNOWS WHATS GOING ON HERE, DONT YOU?!"

Frisk ran like heck.

After managing to lose the vaguely cat-like creature (which wasn't hard; it got sidetracked by the first of many yaoi posters plastered all over the Ruins for some reason), Frisk collapsed.

"So hungry…I wonder if I can eat Herr Stick…" They mumbled and pulled said stick closer to them. "Mein sticky friend…"

They were about to start peeling the bark off when a tantalizing smell wafted past their nose. They looked up.

A quaint little house stood exactly three feet from them.

"Ooh…somehow, I can tell that it smells exactly like butterscotch-cinnamon pie, even though that's a bizarrely esoteric dessert I've never heard of before…"

The smell of the delicious dessert filled them with dank memes—excuse me, Determination. They rose to their feet and opened the door.

"Hey, I'm an entitled RPG protag, so I'm coming into your house now. Tu casa es mi casa, dame comida."

Their snark was met with the tip of a large trident.

"Human…"

Behind the large trident was a very tall, furry (and presumably female, from the way her voice sounded) creature dressed in a robe, a cape, and shoulder armor. Her eyes, initially hard, softened.

"I had just finished baking a pie…I would offer you a slice, but…you know how it is."

"I…I know how what is?"

She ignored them.

"I hadn't thought it would be this easy, but…at the same time, I almost wish it wasn't."

"No, seriously, please explain what's going on here, because it really sounds like you're about to kill m—"

"It's time to finish this, and return to the surface!"

Frisk agreed. It was indeed time to return to the surface. That would be nice. They were about to nod their head in assent when a volley of fireballs flew past their head.

"Is…is my hair burning?!" They hurried to pat out the still-burning embers climbing through their brown locks. "What happened to game balance? This really feels like some final-boss-level [censored by Mettaton] here!"

She didn't answer, but swung the trident. Frisk fell to the ground, narrowly avoiding certain death.

"I…I'm just gonna…"

"…DO A BARREL ROOOOOLLLLL!"

The cry filled them with weeby defurrynation—sorry, completely-normal-brand Determination—and they rolled past the most-definitely-a-final-boss into the basement across the room.

Of course, they completely ignored the fact that in all honesty the basement is the worse place to go, and is usually only chosen by the main characters of really, really bad horror flicks.

But to the basement they rolled, and down a long hallway they went. They could hear footsteps pounding behind them.

So this is it, they thought. I die here because I didn't spontaneously grow wings. I die here because I made a dumb, dumb decision, and didn't roll back out the door RIGHT BEHIND ME like a normal person, but instead went into THE BASEMENT LIKE AN IDIOT. LIKE A HORROR MOVIE IDIOT.

Impending death in three…two…oh, look, a door.

Indeed, a door somehow appeared in their line of sight at just the right moment—after all, a door is never late; it arrives precisely when it means to.

Frisk slipped out the door, slamming it shut behind them. They slid to the snow-covered ground.

"Hah…hah…ha-ha…." Gasps of cold air turned to surprised laughter. "I can't believe I—"

Wham.

Frisk jumped as cracks appeared in the door.

Wham.

A few chips of wood clattered to the ground.

"Ugh…I had hoped it wouldn't come to this…"

Wha—

Welcome to the Level Editor!

What is your desired action, user:Frisk?

-Select object:bush.

Wham.

-Drop object:bush in front of pathway:door.

This will block the path, preventing pathway:door from being opened until object:bush is removed. Are you sure you want to do this?

-Drop obect:bush in front of pathway:door.

Wham.

Are you really, really sure?

-Yes, I'm really, really sure. Just do it.

Maybe we could talk about thi—

-THERE'S NO TIME TO TALK ABOUT THIS!

(The Level Editor looks hurt, but does it anyway.)

-Exit Level Editor.

Are you sure you want to—

-Forcequit Level Editor.

Frisk sighed in relief and resumed sliding to the snow-covered ground. They managed to lay there for a very restful 15 seconds before a shrill voice pierced the cold winter air—

"Brother! I've found a human!"

Notes:

Remember that project I mentioned in A Value Between 0 and 2? The one I don't have to think about so much? …Yeah.

I found out what Underswap is, and…I don't get it. It seems like most of the changes are in name only, so if that's the case, why not just…use the original characters…? (I mean, it seems like the only major change is that Papyrus smokes now. Despite not having lungs.)

Anyway, I don't want to bash anyone that likes it, because if you do…awesome! And personally, I find Swap Sans to be kind of…weirdly cute. But it's just not my thing, overall.

I laughed to the point of tears drawing the cover image. I truly did.