It was a beautiful summer's day, and Valkyrie Cain, Fletcher Renn and China Sorrows were in Thurid Guild's bathroom.

China, who was perched elegantly on the edge of the bathtub, examined her fingernails idly as she said, "So, remind me dears. What exactly are we doing here again? This is disconcerting. From here I can see Guild's hairs in the plughole of his shower and the mental images flooding into my head like tepid bathwater are making me quite bilious."

Fletcher beamed. "We're going to do something bad! Aren't we, Valkyrie?"

"Yes," she agreed solemnly. "I don't know what we're going to do yet... but it's going to be bad."

Cue the sudden and surprising entry of everyone's - well, most people's - favourite skeleton detective, Skulduggery Pleasant. "Sorry I'm late," he said. "I brought Clarabelle and a walrus."

Clarabelle looked around happily. "Hi guys! This is a nice bathroom. Why did you decide to come to a bathroom? I like the way you've done your hair today, Fletcher."

Fletcher stared at her. "What?"

"I said, I like the way you've done your hair today, Fletcher."

"Are you making fun of me?"

Clarabelle frowned. "No. I genuinely like the way you've done your hair today."

Fletcher dropped to his knees. "Marry me."

"Sorry," said Clarabelle. "I'm dating Bob."

"Who's Bob?"

"I can't tell you."

"Is it the walrus?"

"Yes."

Valkyrie, who had been paying no attention to this odd exchange whatsoever, announced, "Guys, I know what we're going to do in here! Let's leave the walrus in Guild's bathtub as a surprise."

Skulduggery shook his head. "That won't work. Guild never takes a bath."

"The sink then," suggested Fletcher. "Everybody uses the sink, or at least he'll have to look in the mirror above the sink so he can do his hair..."

Skulduggery sighed. "Guild barely has any hair." He paused. "And how would a walrus even fit in the sink?"

Valkyrie attempted to get the conversation back on track. "OK, then. Let's just leave him on the floor."

Skulduggery nodded enthusiastically. "Excellent idea, Valkyrie! Oh, wouldn't I love to see old Thurid walk into his bathroom only to discover a walrus on the floor."

China grimaced. "Well, too bad we won't get to see it then. I'm not staying until he arrives, I'm getting out of here. My head is still full of disgusting mental images that can only be erased by my beautiful ancient book collection."

They heard the sound of a door opening somewhere else in the house.

"Quick!" Skulduggery hissed at Fletcher. "Teleport us!"

They all joined hands and the bathroom disappeared, to be replaced by the much nicer surroundings of Gordon Edgley's living room.

"Fletcher, you idiot!" cried Skulduggery when they'd all gotten over their teleportation-sickness. "You teleported the bloody walrus too!"

"I didn't mean to!" Fletcher protested. "Clarabelle grabbed onto its ear at the last minute!"

Clarabelle looked grave. "I couldn't leave my boyfriend."

There was silence.