I'm lying on the moon, my dear. I'll be there soon…
He found Lily's body lying on the floor next to Harry's crib, a stretched hand clutching a teddy bear and Harry, poor little Harry, crying helplessly, just like James.
She left; it took a flash of green light to take James' perfect flower away and she was never coming back.
The burial was longer and harder than he'd expected. James couldn't stop crying. It only got worse when people started sharing stories about her, and he had so many he wanted to tell but the knot in his throat wouldn't let him, so he just sat there on his chair, listening to Sirius talk about their wedding day.
He said he'd manage, he said he'd be okay, that he'll move on, but everyone know he wouldn't be okay, even though he tried, for Harry. Sirius and Remus visited him often to try and distract him, to play with Harry and to make his life a little lighter, and James felt so much better when his best friends visited him, but when they left and Harry was asleep, he felt oh-so-empty.
With you, my dear, I'm safe and we're a million miles away…
He awoke from a very vivid dream, shaking and covered in sweat. He had been playing with Harry, making sparks with his wand and watching him giggle, then Lily took him and he heard a noise. He told Lily to go and be safe, and then there was darkness…
But he didn't die like Lily did, no, he was just stunned.
Back then he thought it had been a dream, but when he woke up he found her lying on the floor. He cried then and he was crying there as well. He couldn't bear to be on the same bed where she once slept, smelling her scent of vanilla…and…and strawberry and so many delightful things that only made him cry harder.
He rushed up toward the roof and lay there, watching the dark, starry sky like he used to with her when she was alive. There he felt in peace, he felt warm and safe, just like he felt when she was with him.
He closed his eyes and pictured her; he saw her big, green eyes shining with joy; he saw her rosy cheeks and lips curved in a smile; her hair falling over her pale shoulders and he heard her laugh.
He woke up again when he heard Harry calling out for him because he couldn't find him in his bedroom.
Sirius and Remus visited them that day, and once again James felt lighter and happy, but when they were gone, he felt a hole in his chest and bitter taste on his tongue.
He built a small room for himself in the roof, with an enchanted ceiling that allowed him to watch the sky until he fell asleep and he spent his nights in that room ever since.
Your shadow follows me all day, making sure that I'm okay and we're a million miles away…
He was okay until Harry started his years at Hogwarts, then not even Sirius and Remus' company could make him happy. He started seeing her face everywhere and spend his days locked up in that room he built on the roof, trying to shut everything out of his head.
He felt numb, lonely. If only he had died as well…
That's stupid, James, don't even think about it…
He heard her so clear in his head it was almost like she was next to him. He opened his eyes for a moment but there was no one there…
Of course I'm not there, James, I'm surprised you even had to look…
He laughed.
Sorry…
He saw her face again, she was smiling. His chest felt so warm and full, like a big ball of happiness.
I miss you…
Her face was now sad, though she kept a smile on her lips. Tears were trailing down her eyes.
I miss you too…
But I'm not gone, James…not entirely. Just remember that, all right? I'm here, even if we're a million miles away…
He smiled and so did she. They were together in that little room he built, and suddenly after so many years, he didn't feel so lonely at all.