It was unfair. More than unfair.
For the W.i.t.c.h., it seemed like looking at a portrait; there were slight differences in the eyes or the shape of their faces. But all in all, they could be content with what they saw.
Cedric just wished he could think the same of himself. Because sadly, the picture this ridiculous show gave of him would have made him murder the producer a long time ago if it hadn't been for the fact that he didn't know who that was.
They had only yet reached the middle of the first episode and Cedric already felt like either crying or bursting into hysterical laughter.
He had to admit that, at the beginning, he had found it rather amusing how the strange people that had produced this show seemed to have completely failed in getting any information on anything. The only thing he'd recognized had been Caleb, who for some reason had lost his stupid face-stripes on his way into the show. Anyway it helped him to figure out that the completely incompetent whatevers were supposed to be Phobos' castle guards and that the ugly piece of swampy land should represent his home realm.
His amusement had ended at the entrance of what made everyone except him almost suffocate from laughter.
He had never, never in his life felt this degraced. He could have handled the grey hair and the yellow-green eyes - even though they made him look like he had after his very first try of changing his looks with the help of magic - and he even could have dealt with the inaccurate way of portraying the exact patterns of red on his green scales, altough he really disliked the lack of authentity.
If only there hadn't been the major changes done to his looks.
But for some unexplainable reason, those horrible artists had decided to portray him with something that looked suspiciously like a female bodybuilder's breasts, a stupidly pointy head, sort of implying his brain had triangular shape and was about the size of almost nothing, and with what was the absolut worst, inacceptable part of all: purple lipstick.
As if that silly, pouty-looking mouth hadn't been giving him enough unseriousness, they had to highlight it by adding lipstick. And for some extra-ridiculousness, they had thoughtfully chosen a Bon Curry-ish shade of purple that made him look like he was about to cry "Daaaaarliiiiiiing!" instead of the surprisingly normal question he asked the guard.
Admittedly he had more than some trouble seeing a point in making him wear make-up. Why make him look ridiculous? Did they think it'd cast a better light on the guardians if they fought a ponce-ish snakemonster instead of a normal shapeshifter? Or did they actually think this was menacing? The only thing this menaced was his dignity!
Luckily, he only had to suffer for a few seconds until even this dreadful show took pity on him and switched to Heatherfield.
Just to show him that everyone else only seemed a bit different from themselves. It gave him the urgent desire to just knock himself out so he would be spared from the rest of this shit.
When the episode switched back to the poor copy of Meridian, Cedric had hardly had time to recover from the first shock. This might have been the reason why he started laughing in an absolutely exaggerated way at the white-haired Phobos that didn't act like Phobos at all. His former master never would have sat on a stupid stone-throne in a dark room in the castle to be seen by anyone opening the door.
He'd always prefered the melancholic peace and beauty of his gardens and he hated everyone disturbing his lonelyness.
Said former master unsuccessfully tried to kill him with glares, just to start giggeling himself as he saw show-Cedric in his human form kneeling in front of the throne and vampire-like hiding his mouth behind his right arm.
Cedric felt another wave of lust to kill rush through him as he saw what was supposed to be himself in human form.
It had hair in a disgusting shade of yellow-blonde that shone like it had been treated with bright enamel and made him look like a relative of Cornelia's. Plus he had somehow managed to either cut almost all of it off - with Cedric really didn't hope, because he himself would never dare to do that - or stuff all of it down that ridiculous orange collar.
And just when he was about to rejoice the lack of lipstick, he had to find the purple colour hadn't gone but moved upwards into his eyes.
It just wasn't fair. He had lost his master when Phobos had betrayed him. He had lost his powers when the Oracle decided to take them from him. Why did he have to lose the last bit left of his respectability to a silly producer too stupid to do research?
He sighed, attracting the attention of the warrior sitting next to him.
Orube chuckled softly and leaned over to him, just when the Cedric in the show turned into a large bit of green gelatin in order to put his purple lipstick back on.
"I bet you look much more beautiful than that when you shapeshift", she said gently, her mouth so close to his ear her warm breath tickled him.
Cedric felt an unexplainable heat rise up to his cheeks. He'd expected a lot from Orube - she sure was the most unpredictable person he knew - but he'd never have thought of something that...he guessed it was what earthlings called sweet. Or cute?
Even though Orube had never seen his snake form, she was the first one to connect it to the word 'beautiful'. Or to compliment him in that way at all.
Honestly, he didn't quite know what to make of that. But since it helped his scratched self-confidence...
A little unsure what to say, he turned his head towards her and whispered back: "Thanks."
Orube gave him a warm smile before returning her attention to the TV.
He also looked back at the TV, right in time to get a good glance at Hay Lin's grandmother wasting a great lot of her powers to create a giant image of Phobos. Cedric fought back another hysterical laugh; he'd been too busy hating on himself the last time Phobos was onscreen, but now he had time enough to notice he himself wasn't the only antagonist in this series wearing make-up.
Deciding to forget their hatred towards one another for this night, Cedric leaned past Caleb on his right and lightly tapped on Phobos' shoulder.
His former prince looked at him, evidently glad to be distracted from the TV.
"Why do You get to wear eyeliner and I have to put up with lipstick?", Cedric asked in a low voice.
Phobos grinned at that comment. "Because I am Your master. I got first pick. You envious?"
"Nah...I feel very obedient today...I think I'll even stand down on the make-up I got, so You can have it as a token of my loyalty."
He could hear Caleb, Orube and Elyon, who was sitting on the other side of Phobos, giggle at their conversation.
Phobos seemed to have heard it too. He smiled and slowly, as if having trouble bringing himself to this decision, said: "I don't think I can accept Your generous gift, my humble servant, for I myself have to bow to my sisters power. We should offer both of our treasures to her."
"I couldn't agree more, my prince."
Elyon laughed even harder. "So sorry, guys, but since you seem to love it all that much, I'll content myself with the crown of Meridian. You may keep your make-up."