It's been awhile, I know. I still need to finish my other story but this one kind of came to me. It's slightly far fetched...or part of it is but I wanted an angst/relationship story.
Family
It had been over a year since Caitlin experienced one of the worst few days in her life. She had accepted a special assignment to work with Marella out of an office in Texas. It brought her back close to her real family but in return she lost the family she had grown to be a part of with Dom and Hawke. It was hard for her to leave them but she had come to a crossroad in her life and felt she wanted a change. Then, the unthinkable happened and Dom was gone.
Caitlin took a deep breath as she pulled her car into the lot and made her way to Michael's office. She had talked with him quite often and had worked with him on assignments out in Texas but this time it was different. He was about to give her an assignment like no other and this time it was personal.
Michael greeted her at the door with a hug. "It's great to see you," he said. "I appreciate your coming here on such short notice."
Caitlin gave him a slight smile. "I just hope I can help," she told him as they sat down on a long sofa in his office.
"At this point, I think maybe you're the only one who can help," he admitted. "Hawke has become more like a machine these days. Don't get me wrong, my superiors love the fact that he has become so efficient at his job. But, he shows no emotion in carrying out any job we've given him. He's buried everything deep inside and I don't think he's dealt with Dom's death at all. It's as though it never happened."
"Michael, I haven't talked to him since the funeral," she replied. "Before that, it had been months. Even then we only exchange a few pleasantries."
Michael reached over and placed a hand on Caitlin's shoulder. "Caitlin, it isn't just Dom's death," he told her. "I really believe he never got over you leaving either. He's bitter towards me for giving you the opportunity."
Caitlin sighed. "If he didn't want me to leave, he could have told me," she replied. "I would have stayed."
"I know you would have. I also know and I believe he knows that you were in love with him," Michael said as he stood up and started pacing the room. "I don't know what scared him more, you working for me on your own or the fact that you just might have been the one woman that Stringfellow Hawke needed."
Caitlin blushed. "Why can't St. John help? I would think that Hawke would be happy now that his brother is home."
"He is, but their relationship is a bit strained," replied Michael. "The fact that St. John purposely stayed away didn't sit well with Hawke. He loves his brother and I think in time they'll work it out. But, what he built with Dom, and with you. Well, let's just say that he had finally accepted the things that had happened in his life. Dom told me once that Hawke had told him he'd never felt happier since you wormed your way into their lives."
Caitlin laughed. "Yeah, he used that term a couple of times to me," she admitted. "But I knew he liked having me around no matter how much he teased me."
Caitlin stood up and walked over to the huge window that overlooked the parking lot. She bit her lip and sighed. "Michael, I want to help but what you're asking me to do is dangerous. What if we go through all of this and it doesn't work. What if he just walks away?"
Michael joined her at the window. "My man is an expert marksman. He never misses. You'll only feel a slight prick, enough to knock you down. I doubt the hit will even knock you out. You'll have to feign some of it. Caitlin, I really have a strong hunch that he'll want to take you in. He may not even want to admit it to himself, but I know he still cares deeply for you."
"He doesn't like deceit," she sighed. "Isn't there another way?"
"If you just go to him," he replied. "He'll just push you away like he's done all of us. But, if he thinks you need him, I don't think he'll walk away."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Her conversation with Michael played over and over in her mind as Caitlin went with several others to bring in two men who were suspected of human trafficking. Hawke would be there too and soon their plan would be put into motion.
"This is crazy," she thought. "But so is working for the Firm all these years."
She saw Hawke right away and watched as he methodically assisted in wrangling one of the men to the ground. His eyes were cold and his face expressionless until he saw she was there. She almost thought the look he gave was that of shock, but he quickly went back into what she felt was "robot mode" and moved on to help search the premises.
Then, the shots rang out and Caitlin felt the searing pain as she fell to the ground. She could hear the scuffle all around her before she lost her battle to stay conscious.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Caitlin slowly opened her eyes and quickly sat up, taking in her surroundings.
"Take it easy," Hawke insisted as he slowly pushed her back down on the pillow.
Caitlin couldn't help but stare at him. His eyes were still cold but she could see a bit of concern in them.
"Where am I?" she asked as she pushed herself back up. "Who are you?"
Caitlin could feel he heart nearly pounding out of her chest. "God he'll hate me for lying to him," she thought.
Hawke grabbed her arm gently and could feel her rapid heartbeat. "Calm down," he told her. "It's okay. You were shot and grazed on the temple. I'm sure everything will come back to you in awhile."
"Who are you?" she asked again as she quickly moved her hand to her temple. "Why was I shot? Why am I here and not a hospital?"
Hawke sighed deeply. "Stringfellow Hawke," he replied. "We met in Texas over four years ago. We aren't sure who shot you yet but I brought you here to keep you safe."
Caitlin stared at him. "Oh, yeah, you saved me from that Sheriff," she said.
"Yes," he replied. "And then you tracked me down in California."
Caitlin feigned a look of shock. "Did you say four years ago? I don't remember anything after that except for having to explain all that mess."
"Yeah, well, sorry we left so fast," he replied. "You've told me more than once all you had to go through afterwards."
Caitlin felt as though the room was spinning. She squeezed her eyes shut and wavered a bit, deciding it was best to lay her head back down on the pillow.
"Are you okay?" he asked, moving to sit down at the edge of the bed by her side.
Caitlin took a deep breath. "Why am I here again?" she asked.
"Archangel thinks someone wants you dead," he said matter of fact like. "He felt you'd be safer here until he and Marella can investigate. He thinks it might have to do with something you've been working on in Texas."
"Archangel? Marella?" she asked. "Who are they?"
"Your bosses," he told her. "You work for them. You call Archangel Michael."
Caitlin closed her eyes tight again and then took a deep breath. She knew her nerves were getting the best of her but also realized that her real physical reaction to having to lie to him was making her story more believable.
"I'm really thirsty," she finally told him when she opened her eyes.
Hawke reached over and picked up a glass from the nightstand.
"Here," he said as he handed her the glass of water. "Sit up and just drink it slowly. I promise the doctor said you'd be fine. You just need rest. You're safe here, just take it easy."
Caitlin sat up and took the glass. She sipped a bit of water before handing it back to him. Suddenly she found herself staring into his eyes. At first she thought she was imagining it but then she realized that the coldness there was slowly disappearing.
"Oh my God, Michael was right," she thought. "He does still care. I just need to find a way to get him to talk about Dom."
"Where is here?" she asked.
"My cabin," he replied. "It's pretty secluded. I'll show you around when you're up to it. Maybe it will jog your memory."
"Okay," she replied softly. "I'm really tired."
"Get some sleep," he replied as he got up and headed for the stairs. "I'll check on you again in a bit."
Caitlin watched him descend the stairs. She couldn't stop the tears that suddenly ran down her face. She wanted so badly to tell him the truth. "He'll just take me back and retreat further inside himself," she thought. "Michael believed this was the only way to get to him but what happens when it's over and he finally knows the truth? Will it make it even worse?"
Caitlin sighed as she drifted off to sleep. "That part," she thought, "wasn't a lie. She was exhausted.
An hour and a half later she awoke to the smell of pasta sauce and garlic bread. She slowly managed to get out of bed and make her way down the stairs. When he heard her, he ran up the stairs and grabbed her under one arm and helped her down.
"I think I can manage now," she told him. "I'm feeling a lot better."
"Just didn't want to take a chance," he replied softly. "Are you hungry?"
She gave him a small smile. "I think I could eat something," she replied. "My stomach isn't doing the flips it was doing before."
Hawke helped her to the sofa and then fixed them both a small plate of pasta and salad.
Caitlin looked around at the art that filled the room. Nothing much had changed since she was last there.
"You always liked the art work," he told her as he watched her take in the sights of the room.
"Oh," she replied. "It's beautiful."
They both ate in silence for awhile after that. Caitlin took a few bites and pushed the rest around the plate.
"Are you okay?" he asked as he took the plate from her. "Not hungry after all?"
"I guess not," she replied softly. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he replied.
Caitlin stared at him. "Who is the man that was with you that day?" she asked, taking him by surprise.
"What day?" he asked.
"When you rescued me from the sheriff," she replied. "There was someone with you. He wouldn't tell me his name."
Hawke sighed deeply. "That was Dom," he replied.
"Oh," she said. "Do I know him?"
"You did," he replied. "But, he's gone now."
Caitlin shifted herself on the couch and leaned her head on the back edge as she watched him wander over to the window at the front of the cabin. "Gone as in he died?" she asked softly.
"Yeah," he replied softly. "Look, I'm going to go and take Tess, my dog for a walk. I'll be back in a little while."
"Okay," she said as he quickly headed out of the cabin.
Caitlin sighed. "I pushed too hard," she thought. "He isn't ready to talk about Dom yet."
She slowly got up and grabbed some aspirin from the kitchen cabinet before walking out on the porch of the cabin. She took in the fresh air and then took a seat on the bench out front. It was a beautiful day with a slight chill in the air. She shivered a little and pulled her knees up to her chest as she sat and waited for Hawke to return.
She sat for awhile before she began to feel a bit too cold. Slowly, she got up to go back inside. As she made her way up the cabin steps a wave of dizziness overcame her. She felt herself fall backwards. To her surprise, strong arms caught her before she hit the ground.
Hawke scooped her up in his arms and carried her inside the cabin. He gently laid her down on the sofa and grabbed a blanket off of the back to wrap her up.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'll be fine," she replied softly, feeling a bit embarrassed. "I just felt a little dizzy that's all."
Hawke sighed. "Maybe you should go back upstairs and get some rest," he told her. "I think you're overdoing it."
"I'd rather rest right here," she replied. "If that's okay with you?"
Hawke stared at her before answering. "It's okay," he replied as he got up and began to build a fire in the fireplace. Caitlin watched him as he quietly put the logs in place and quickly built a roaring fire. The warmth of it felt wonderful to her chilled body.
"You're good at that," she said softly.
"I've had a lot of practice," he replied with a slight grin before sitting and staring at her.
"What?" she asked. His stare was making her a little nervous.
"You asked about Dom," he finally replied. "He loved you as though you were his daughter. But I think you know that, don't you?"
Caitlin was shocked as the tears came quickly for her. He knew. Somehow he knew she wasn't telling him the truth.
"Maybe you were right. I should go on upstairs and get some rest," she said trying to change the subject.
As she tried to get up off of the sofa, Hawke gently grabbed her by the arms and pushed her back. "I need you stay here," he told her. "I need you to listen to me."
"Why?" she asked.
"Because you're family," he said, trying to hold back the tears. "You and Dom were my family. You were the only two people who really understood me and all of a sudden, you were both gone."
Caitlin closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't know what to say," she finally replied.
"Tell me you know me," he demanded. "Tell me that you remember Dom."
"I do," she sobbed softly. "I'm sorry I wasn't honest. How did you know?"
"I came back to get Tess' leash and I saw you go and get some aspirin out of the cabinet," he replied. "You remembered where I kept it."
"Oh God, my head is still throbbing," she admitted.
Hawke gently placed his hand on the side of her head. Caitlin reached up and held it.
"Why?" he asked. "Why did you lie? You've never lied to me before."
"I just wanted to hear you talk about Dom," she told him. "I thought you'd open up to me if you thought I'd forgotten. It was stupid, I know. I just miss him so much. I missed you too."
Hawke got up and pulled a tape out of the cabinet. Caitlin knew instantly what it was. The three of them made a pact and each had filmed a short video telling the others goodbye in case something ever happened to one of them.
"I haven't been able to watch it," he admitted. "I couldn't do it without you."
Caitlin took a deep breath. "I don't know if I can handle it," she admitted.
Hawke put the tape in and sat back down beside her. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "We'll get through it together," he assured her.
The two watched as Dom came into view, his grinning face the first thing they saw.
"Well," he said. "If you are watching this, I guess I'm gone. But hey, don't let it get you down. I sure as hell lived a long life and I've made a lot of great memories. I know we said we'd do this video but somehow creating a photo book seemed easier. So, this is short and sweet. I'm going to leave you a key in that old vase on the bookshelf. There's instructions there too on where to find this book I've made. Beyond that, all I can say is that I love you two. I couldn't be prouder of the two of you if you were my very own kids. Don't lose track of each other. Well, guess I'll be ending this now. Honestly, I hope you two are the ones seeing my video. I don't think I'd have the heart to watch yours."
Hawke pulled Caitlin closer as the screen went black. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head.
"He never did make things easy for us, did he?" asked Caitlin. "I wonder where this book is?"
Hawke sighed. "I found it when I was going through his things," he told her. "He didn't quite finish it. There were a couple of photos he had wanted to add in the back so I ended up doing it myself."
"Can I see it?" she asked.
"Sure," he replied as he got up and pulled the album off of the bookshelf."
The two sat quietly as they looked through the photos that Dom had added. He had included mementos from various missions they had been on together along with many photos of the three of them. When they got to the end, they both sat and stared at Dom's picture.
"I miss him," she replied.
"Me too," he admitted. "But, I guess its fate that you came back."
Caitlin sighed. "Hawke, there's something more you need to know," she said. "The shooting wasn't as it seemed."
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"I was shot by one of Michael's men," she told him. "It was deliberate."
"What?" he asked. "I don't understand."
"Michael wanted you to take me in," she replied. "He thought it was the only way you would."
Hawke stood up and began to stoke the fire as he processed what she was telling him.
"Damn it, Caitlin," he nearly yelled. "How could you let Michael convince you to have someone shoot you in the head? That's crazy!"
Caitlin cocked her head trying her best to make light of it. "Come on Hawke," she replied. "He didn't actually shoot me IN the head. It's just a graze."
"Caitlin!" he said as he shot her an angered look. "It's not funny."
Caitlin sighed. "No, it's not," she finally replied. "It's just that Michael was worried that you were suicidal."
"What? I wasn't trying to kill myself," he exclaimed.
"Well, it wasn't like you were trying to kill yourself directly," she replied as she got up and sat back down near the fire. "It was all the crazy things you were doing on the assignments he gave you. He said you had become reckless and uncaring in the things you were doing. So much so that he felt you were purposely trying to get killed."
Hawke moved and sat down beside her. He stared into her eyes as the flames from the fire flickered within them. "Cait, everything we've ever done for Michael has been dangerous," he replied softly. "We always put ourselves in harm's way. Honestly, I wasn't doing anything differently. I was just…alone now." He sighed deeply. "Maybe he's right. Maybe I did stop caring about what happened to me. I don't know. Still, what you did was pretty reckless."
Caitlin bit the side of her lip. "I'm sorry Hawke," she replied. "I guess you're right. I was just worried and I wanted to help. It was a stupid thing to do."
"Yeah, it was," he replied sternly. "But, I don't think anyone has ever done something so selfless like that for me before."
Caitlin saw his eyes water up slightly. "Why Caitlin? Why do that for me?"
Caitlin stood up quickly and moved to the door. "I need some air," she said as she opened it and stepped out onto the porch.
Hawke got up and followed her. "You're here now. You can't run from this," he told her. "I want the truth. All of it."
"Why?" she asked. "What's done is done. Life has gone on and we can't change the past."
Caitlin turned towards the lake to hide the tears she couldn't stop from falling down her cheeks. Hawke moved to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind.
"I wanted you here," he told her. "I wanted so badly to call you. I picked up my phone a hundred times and called you, only to hang up before the first ring. When I saw you yesterday I almost couldn't breathe."
Caitlin began to cry harder. Hawke could feel her body shudder. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" she asked. "I wanted so badly to talk to you at Dom's funeral."
"You were the one who walked away Caitlin," he replied. "I don't blame you. It's not like I gave you any hope that….."
Caitlin pulled away and then turned to face him. She could see the pain in his eyes. "Hope for what?" she asked.
"For us," he replied. "I thought you deserved better."
Caitlin brushed the tears from her cheeks. "There is no better," she finally told him. "I love you and I can't turn off those feelings. I've tried for a really long time. I wouldn't do what I did for anyone else Hawke. But you, you're worth it no matter what."
Hawke pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. "I love you too," he replied softly. "I need you. I love that I have my brother back but you had become family too. When you left, a part of me left with you."
Hawke pulled back and placed his hand on her cheek, cupping her face before pulling her into a kiss.
At first it frightened her but she quickly gave in to her own desire and kissed him back. When they parted, he put his arm around her waist and escorted her back into the cabin. They sat close together on the sofa as Caitlin laid her head on his chest.
"I guess I should call Michael and let him know what's going on," she told him.
"I doubt you'll be able to reach him," Hawke told her.
"Why?" she asked.
"Oh because he knows very well that there will be hell to pay for anyone harming you in any way," he replied with a wink.
"Hawke, what are you going to do?" she asked.
"I don't know yet," he replied. "But I definitely will have fun making him sweat it out for awhile."
"You're terrible," she said, finally smiling.
"If making sure that no one hurts the people I love makes me terrible, so be it," he said as he leaned over and kissed her again.
"You know," Caitlin said after they parted. "Somehow think Dom is looking down on us and smiling."
Hawke looked into her eyes and smiled. Caitlin finally saw the warmth in them that she remembered from all the times they'd spent together. The realization that he actually really loved her all along finally hit her.
"I think so too," he replied, pulling her back to him and kissing her once more.
It would be a night that neither of them would ever forget.
The End