Tonk's held Ted in her arms, slowly rocking him to sleep. "My little Teddy," she whispered, stroking his now bright red hair. Minutes before he was light blonde but had slowly turned orange and now to its current red color.
He was only a few days old but he already looked so much like his father. Eventually his eyes fell closed and his breathing slowed. "Oh, baby," Tonk's whispered, kissing his forehead. "Your little hands wrapped around my finger, and, it's so quiet in the world tonight," she said, looking out the window at the cool April night. "You're little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming, so, I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light." Tonk's slowly laid him down in his crib, leaving on a single lamp so he wouldn't be afraid of the dark. "To you, everything's funny." She smiled as she thought about how he'd laughed when she'd used her wand to cut up vegetables for dinner and he'd also laughed when she had tripped and sent their dinner flying over the kitchen.
She stood in the door way for a minute, thinking about how he was so pure. He'd never done anything that kept him at night; making him wish for what ifs. "You got nothing to regret.
I'd give all I had, honey," She wished, thinking of his future and the challenges ahead. "If you could stay like that."
As she slowly walked into the living room she saw little pictures of herself when she was younger on her father's mantel. A tear fell down her face as she thought of his death. How she wished she could go back there and spend more time with him. She wished Teddy would stay the way he was now. So sweet and little. "Oh, darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up just stay this little. Oh, darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up, it can stay this simple." She frowned at how short the period of innocence was. How quickly ridicule and rude names were thrown and how long they stayed with you. "No," she whispered. "I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart, and no one will desert you." If only it were that easy. "Just try to never grow up, and never grow up."
My boy will be the best. He will never disobey me and he'll love me. She laughed at the impossible thought. If he was anything close to her, he would never be completely obedient. You're in the car on the way to your friend's house, she thought, recalling a memory of her own childhood. And, you're mortified, your mom's dropping you off. At fourteen, there's just so much you can't do, and you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots. Oh, she couldn't wait until she moved out when she was younger. And now look at her, living back in her parents' house. She hoped Teddy wouldn't be so quick to leave; to forget her. But, don't make her drop you off around the block, she mentally advised, regretting the way she blocked out her own mother those adolescent years. Remember that she's getting older too, and don't lose the way that you dance around in your PJ's getting ready for school. She laughed slightly, remembering wrestling Teddy into his own PJs and how she'd been troublesome as well.
Oh, darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up. She thought. All of a sudden, she heard a cry coming from the nearby nursery. She quickly walked in and took the crying Teddy in her arms. "Just stay this little," she whispered, "Oh, darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up. It can stay this simple."
Randomly, she thought of his father. She missed him. He was so strong and brave. He took his…predicament so bravely, despite others looks and words. How could people be so cruel? "And no one's ever burned you, nothings ever left you scarred," she continued, wishing he didn't have to live in a world like this. "And even though you want to, just try to never grow up."
"Oh Remus," she whispered, holding the now sleeping Teddy to her chest, "if only you could see your little boy." She again wondered if she made the right choice to stay with Teddy and let Remus go and fight. Ted stirred slightly, breaking her from her thoughts. She looked around the room, taking in the creamy blue wall paper and plain ceiling. "Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room," she whispered, closing her eyes. "Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home," she said, smiling, pining for the day Remus would come walking through the doors. "Remember the footsteps, remember the words said, and all your little brother's favorite songs," she said, wondering, when everything got back to normal- well, as normal as it could get- she could convince Teds father to give him a sibling. Then, rather suddenly, a realization hit her. "I just realized everything I had is someday gonna be gone."
It was true. Teddy would grow up, go off to Hogwarts and she and Remus would grow old together. Eventually, they would all just be memories. Remus could be a memory all ready, a sickly thought whispered in her ear. "NO!" She nearly shouted, but luckily Ted didn't wake.
That made up her mind. She swiftly placed Teddy down into his bed, running a smooth hand along his face. She grabbed the small blanket that lay on him and stuffed it in her pocket. He'd be warm enough without it. She pulled on her coat and wrote a quick note to her mother, who would be back soon from the super market. She was one foot out the door when she turned and stared at the empty house. "So, here I am in my new apartment, in a big city, they just dropped me off. It's so much colder than I thought it would be so, I tucked myself in and turned my night light on." It wasn't technically true, she wasn't in a big city but she couldn't image that being any better. The empty house scared her but the idea of Remus alone scared her even more. Being older had so many challenges. Wish I'd never grown up, I wish I'd never grown up. As she slowly walked out of the house and into the fields these thoughts filled her mind. "Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up could still be little oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up, it could still be simple.
At the last moment, she turned and stared back at the beautiful house with a beautiful little boy in it. "I won't let nobody hurt you. Won't let no one break your heart, and even you want to please, try to never grow up." She said. Sighing, she began to cast her Apparition spell. As it took hold, sending her to the Hogs Head bar, she smiled. "I'll be back Teddy," She whispered, clutching the blue blanket to her cheek. "Your father and I will be back…I promise."