The day was hot and muggy, the type of weather that would create a brilliant day for swimming, having fun, and partying. Days like this would make most people happy or at least kept them from staying inside. Unless, of course, you are in a huge meandering maze where a particularly horrid spot smelled worse than dying fish in a Chinese dumpster.

The girl carefully picked her way towards the bridge nearby, her once-shiny stiletto-heel shoes sinking slowly into the mud until she yanked them out again for another step. She wiped her face to remove the thin trail of tears, effectively smearing more of her running make-up. It wasn't her fault she told this "Goblin King" the cold hard truth about his tights and shirt. Why didn't he just take her cheerleading coach and leave her alone? But no, just as she wished her away, her cheerleading coach thought it was a great idea to make her lead cheerleader. Now, here she is, walking through this maze of never ending walls, and every so ofter, out of the corner of her eye, she swears she sees something moving. The sun was extremely hot, and there was a bit of a smell to air. She flipped her long blonde hair out of her face and kept on moving.

Now, only a few feet away was a long bridge crossing a bog of slimey goo. Though there where strange noises coming from this bog, the girl kept on moving, because the land on the other side looked at least dry. Edging closer and closer, her shoes sank into the mud even faster. She was inches away when she heard a triumphiant scream from a nearby tree. From behind this tree came two dogs, one dressed up in a odd fashion of midevil clothes adn the other dog was simply large and fluffy. The strangest thing wasn't that the one of the dogs had a sword, but that the dog dressed up was riding on the back of the other dog! The girl stopped and stared at the approaching dogs, astonishment rooting her in place. Soon this strange duo stood before her, blocking her to bridge.

"Thou shall not pass!" The smaller dog screamed, waving his sword in threatening manner. However the girl did not understand that he was threatening her.

"You're so cute," the girl squelled excitedly, kneeling to ground and reaching to pet the smaller of the two dogs.

"I am Sir Didymus, and shall not be treated in such ways!" He yelled angrily as he lashed out his sword, slicing open a cut on her hand. The girl yelped while she pulled her hand back to safety. She examined her hand carefully until all the blood registered into her mind.

"I...I..." She muttered in shock before she looked up and she slapped Sir Didymus. In shock, Sir Didymus stared at this crazed girl. Never before had a girl actually hit him.

"I just just got a manicure, now my gold nails are stained red," She yelled as she stood up and glared at her hand again, "...and you broke my nail!" The look of astonishment on Sir Didymus's face melted away and was replaced with cool disdain. The girl stared angrily at him before she realized that her feet had sunk into the muck. This realization made her remember about the bridge and the task she was supposed to do.

"Listen, I don't have time for your little games. I have a cheerleading competition in two weeks, and I have to have my coach back." She demanded as yanked her feet out of the ground and walked past Sir Didymus to approach the bridge.

"I said THOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Sir Didymus exclaimed as he sliced at her leg, only managing to make a small cut on her thigh. The girl yelped and started to spin around to face him when the heels of her stiletto-heel shoes broke. She stumbled backwards in a grace-less attempt to regain her balance, until the ground beneath her vanished. A single scream mangaged to excape her before she suddenly fell into the bog.

Sir Didymus watched the spot where the girl had vanished into the bog, waiting for her to resurface. Seconds later, the girl shot back up, spitting strange green liquid out of her mouth and gasping for breath. Her clothes were thickly coated in the bog's characteristic filth and muck was dripping from her once blonde hair.

"Now, you may pass..." Sir Didymus stated cheerfully. At this the girl started bawling, for she had never expericenced such cruelty. She kept up her loud shrill crying as she slowly trudged her way to the opposite shore. Once she finally mangage to get to dry land, she pulled herself free from the bog's muck and layed on the solid ground for a few minutes. After several minutes of gasps and wheezes, she pulled herself to her feet with the help of a nearby tree stood as high as she could, staring angrily back at Sir Didymus,

"You son of a bitch!" She screamed, her voice shaking with fury.

"Yes, I am! Couldn't you say something I don't already know?" He replied. Then the girl did a strange hand guesture towards him before performing a failed attempt of a hair flip and trudging towards the woods beyond the opposite shore.


Sir Didymus stood there, proud of his deeds, when all of a sudden a poof of sparkly smoke exploded nearby. He looked up to see Jareth staring down at him, a strange smile on his face.

"You know, I was just about to tell her that her time was up..." Jareth stated as he glanced up towards the location the girl had vanished.

"I didn't know, I apologize," Sir Didymus answered.

"Don't be, this is much more entertaining. She will arrive at my castle, unkowing that the bog's stench would stick with her for the rest of her life, only to find she has spent fifteen hours here in the Labyrinth and lost," Jareth laughed before he vanished, leaving the ground coated in glitter. Sir Didymus smiled to himself as he returned to his steed Ambrosious, pleased with the Goblin King's approval and with his success as the bridge's protector. No one had ever managed to cross the bridge while he guarded it, and it will stay that way.